Presents= Love (?)

As we still have a couple of weeks until Christmas, and I am sure some of you have a similar relationship with Christmas shopping than I do, I think we should talk about it. 

So, I am a perfectionist, I have plans and a “to-do list” for even a “to-do list”, but I am really bad at Christmas gifts. Every single year around September I swear that this year I will start buying the gifts on time and not at the last minute… guess what? Never happened… I know…that’s bad…well, I am not perfect and I never want to be (way too boring) 😉

So I started to think about what to buy for my family and friends, but I was always stuck. I was so worried previously. The point was that: do presents are equal to love? If I buy what they like or want, do they love me more, and if I f@ck up and they get something that they do not like, they will love me less? Is that how the world works? Or even should I be scared that my family and friends will not love me if I do not buy the “best present ever” for them? Can you really buy love with money?

First things first, I am not scared at all, I have made a kind of “system” for myself. This is a material world, so everyone gets a present, but I also try to give them the things that really show them that I love them. How can I do that? 🙂 Sooooo easy and soooo not. 🙂

A couple of years ago I have read a book called Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I think that book helped me a lot and changed so many things around me and started to understand the behavior of my environment. 

You know when you really want something (time, gift, someone understands you, etc.), but you do not understand why your environment doesn’t get it? When you have an opinion of love, friendship, relationship, how those things should work, etc., but someone acts the totally opposite way and you do not understand why that person is so “different” and why doesn’t get that he/she makes it “wrong”. 

Well, my friends, I will tell you a secret… they speak a different love language than what you speak. I do not want to talk about the Love Languages, because I think everyone should read the book and even we should teach to the kids in the schools because that could help them more than quantum physics (all do respect for quantum physics and all the other subjects in school) so basically, I just write the name of them.

• Words of Affirmation
• Physical Touch
• Receiving Gifts
• Quality Time
• Acts of Service

So, how do I sort out my Christmas gifts, and what does it do with the Languages? So easy: you need to find out who speaks which language, study to speak on it and then all done…okay, that’s not so easy, but worth it. 🙂

The fact is that for someone the presents are really equal to love and that’s totally okay like this. Some other people need our time, hugs, acknowledgment, favor, and that’s okay too. Nice the phrases that “give love instead of gifts”, but if you have someone around you whose love language is “receiving gifts”, they will not understand why you did not buy some presents for them and may they feel you do not love them. I buy gifts for everyone and I also try to “speak with them in their love language”. I have a couple of them who needs time together, so I try to make time for them. Some around me need to get confirmation, so I try to give them. And the list goes on and on and on. The point is that first you must listen to them and find out how they like to experience love and give it to them in that way. So that’s it. 🙂

To me, you are all equal and I love you no matter what language you speak or where do you come from. And really important that no matter how you like to experience Love, you are not bad or weird, you are perfect Spitfires as it is. 🙂

Have a good Christmas present hunting Spitfires. 😉

XOXO

Miss Spitfire

P.S.: Gary Chapman- Five Love Languages could be a good Christmas gift (you are welcome). 😉