Let’s move on

Hello Guys,

I hope you are doing well and enjoying the Summer. First I would like to apologise for the fact that I haven’t posted for a while now. I promise I have a very good reason and I will share it with you in this post.

I mentioned earlier that I´m working on a “big project”…well after more than 10 years living in London, I decided to relocate back to Hungary at least for a year. I know, it is shocking.😅 However, after soo many discussions with family, friends, and people I usually listen to, I decided that this is the best for me at the moment (or at least this is what I feel is the best). Lately, my friends are moved back to their countries, life in London changed a lot after the pandemic and my last visit at home during Christmas time woke me up. 

I usually wait for two things in the year and these two things are my holidays at home with my friends and family. I am the happiest when I am surrounded by them. I am laughing more, I feel better and I feel alive. 

My life in London became just a huge waiting time, while I have done nothing just worked, came home, eat, took a shower and sleep. Don’t get me wrong, I know it is my fault, but still, I was always tired and anxious. I became depressed, even though I had a nice career, and friends and I loved my life in London, I felt sad and lonely. Then I realised, I must change… drastically. First of course I had to start the change in my head and slowly turn my anxiety to hope, but still, I felt something is missing. I was wondering for years if I go back is just a run from my life, but after I moved into a nice place, I had a nice job and nice friends, I still felt this pull… the pull I haven’t felt in 10 years… the one that says, now you need to go and try. No matter what it will be, if you don’t try, you will regret it forever.

So I decided to relocate to Hungary. Why do I say relocate and not “move”? Simple brain hack. My anxiety and depression kicked in when one of my best friends at home ask me The Question: “So do you now move back to Hungary FOREVER?” Well… I started to sweat, I couldn´t bread, I felt I will die for sure… then I started to think… Do I want to move back forever? What if I change my mind? Do they all will be disappointed? Do I need to stay? What if I will change my mind? What if I will not like it after a year? All these questions just came into my mind at once… I felt tired, overwhelmed and to be honest, I just realised that I do not wish to move anywhere FOREVER. But I will buy a one-way ticket to Hungary and all my stuff will be transferred back… so technically, I will move back… and then I started to question everything (I know, again)… Is it really what I want or it is just an escape from my life? 

In the end, I figured out that nothing last FOREVER. I do not HAVE TO do anything. And my brain loves the idea that I go back for at least a year and once the year ends, I will see how I feel. I have a fully settled status in the UK, so in the next 5 years, I can come back anytime. My landlady and her family love me, so she said my flat will be available for me always, no matter who will live in it, they will take it out for me, and my workplace offered the same. 

So finally I decided to try. It wasn´t that quick and easy decision like it was 10 years ago to move here. First I started to think about it 4-5 years ago, we had soo many discussions with my friends here and there too about it, but in the end, I have two (a million others as well) very strong reasons why I do this: 

1. As I mentioned in the previous post What is your “why”? My biggest why is my nephew. It was always hard to leave behind my friends’ kids, my parents, and my friends, but when I had to handle back my (at that time) 4 months old nephew…my heart was broken. I don´t want to be the aunty who just sending sh@ts and never there. I want to be there for him and never miss any birthdays or Easterns or any other occasions.
2. At some point, everyone has to grow up and take responsibility. I can live in London and years just come and go and I will be in the same place in my life as I was last year or the years before. My life in London is an extended teenage life. I am having fun, I have money to buy sh@ts, and I have a job, but at the end of the day, most likely I am alone. Almost everyone important to me is in Hungary or will be.

I love my life in London and possibly I will come back or I will go and live somewhere else in the World, but at the moment I feel I need to go home for a bit and see how it will work (or not) for me after more than 10 years living in abroad. 

So I will continue to write blog posts, don´t worry, just not that often until the end of August. But I do not wish you to miss my moving fun, I want to include you guys, so I am working on making short videos and uploading them here, on YouTube and all the social media platforms, so please follow the Spitfires. Also, I am planning to do some mini-courses about mental health, motivation and positive life set later this year, so please just stay with me. During my videos, I also concur with my fears (my first fear is to upload my first video and see how you like me or don´t) and also give you some tips regarding moving out of the UK with a positive mindset of course. Obviously from the end of August, I will show you places in Hungary. I will move next to Hungary´s biggest lake, called Balaton, so I will have enough to share with you and we will continue our positive SpitFirey journey together, only my physical location will change.

Last, but not least, I would like to thank you for all your support here on the blog and on the social media platforms too in the last few years. Hopefully, these videos will help me not just keep my English, but get to know you guys better. 

I will bring the first video soon, but until that, please remember: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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