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Expectations

Hello everyone,

I hope you are relaxing and starting to be excited about Christmas (ps.: I still love all Griches too, no discriminations here).

I have a lot going on in my life nowadays and I just started to wonder why I do all my relaxing stuff and still, sometimes I feel down and a bit sad. (Nothing wrong with it, because no one is always happy and all over the moon, but still I didn’t understand what is happening.) This time of the year is my favorite. The preparation for Christmas, the lights, the smells, the decorations, the waiting time, the activities and London looks like a big Wonder Land. So I started to feel weird, why I was not happy and excited as usual
 and then it hit me on my face. Expectations.

I had a look around me and inside me and then I realized we all expect something from everyone and everything. All our life is about expectations. 

The saying is true: nothing is for free. Even for love, we expect to return some love and if we do not get it we seek it and beg for it (that’s another story). We expect our parents to love us, and our friends to check on us sometimes. We want our colleagues and bosses to appreciate our work, also we wish the cashier will be nice in the shop, and the product we bought will be perfect for the price we paid for it. We have expectations from women and men as a society. We expect leaders to look and behave in a certain way. We want our favorite movie star to be always perfect and act kind. We wait for our partner to remember our birthdays, anniversaries, and all occasions.  And the list just goes on and on. We are fighting and argue with each other because we wish people around us to be how we imagine them they should be. The worst is about expectations that we think we should get some reward for the effort we make to be someone who we think we should be to get the reward.

Don’t get me wrong, I am one of the luckiest people ever, because I have got lots of love and appreciation in my life, but still I am not an exception. 

So I started to list what I am expecting and most importantly from who. Yes, there are lots of people I interact with on a daily basis, so I had to let go of what and how I wish them to deal with me. People are different and that makes life wonderful. What made me surprise the most that I have so strong imagination for how people should act who are my closest ones. If someone knows me, know that I do not trust that many people, but if I do, I would do everything (literally everything) for, and to them. So that’s why surprised me when I felt a certain way for the people I love. I had to accept that even my loved ones are not perfect and they have every right to live their life as it is the best for them. Even my parents, my friends, and my family. Everyone has the right to choose what is best for them.

The other hit on my face was an even bigger slap. I am not just expecting people, products, and situations to be in a certain way
 I have the biggest expectations about myself. Even when I feel down, my first thought was that why I do not feel a certain way, my feelings shouldn’t be like this. Should or shouldn’t. I never liked these two words because I felt the pressure that people want me to be someone who I am not, and I am not enough good. And yet, after 33 years I realized that actually, I am the one who built up those expectations. No one wants me to be perfect, on top all the time, happy, or million other things. 

What I realized is that because of our expectations and the way we see our life “should be” make us unhappy and do not realize the good things around us. Do not need to be big things
or actually, everything is a big thing that makes us happy, grateful, lucky, loved, etc. I don’t say that we cannot do our best, we must try to do it, but be aware of our limitations. It is totally fine not to be happy or feel a bit sad about things. 

Perfect doesn’t exist guys. Perfect for me exist, but perfect me?! Never. We all are human and like this, we are imperfectly perfect. All of us. Just the way we are. I believe that we are always at the right time, in the right place with the right people. May we not agree and cannot see it yet, but at the moment it is the best and it is how it “should be”. Don’t get me wrong, I still learning to let go of my expectations and just simply be happy with what I have gotten every day from life, from the people around me.

One last thought before I leave you to just relax, as it is still November (yes, even if it is the last evening of it). Letting go of your expectations does not mean you have to let go of your wishes. Just simply communicate with the people around you. Nothing wrong with it if you tell people what you want or how you want them to deal with you. No one is a mind reader, so you must tell people what is good for you (of course in a nice way), what makes you feel appreciated, loved, and not taken for granted.

I heard a very true saying from one of my kindest friends: “Be the most selfish person ever and do not let go a little from it, but make sure you do not hurt anyone around you! This calls balance!”

I wish you a really nice evening and time to prepare for the holidays. I am back soon with some Christmas traditions cheer up!!!! 😃

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: For the daily quotes, please find the Spitfires on Facebook and or Instagram. 

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The Queen

The Queen 👑

This is a bit unusual post from me and sorry if someone doesn’t really care about it, but I wish to tell what I see and how I think about the current situation.
As you know, I live in London and I’m sure everyone knows that The Queen is dead. Why do I want to talk about this? How is it affecting me? What does it look like to live in London these days? What do foreign people think about this?
Well, I never was a “huge fan” of the Royal Family, but I never had a problem with them either. They are a huge part of the community, the history and the everyday life of the UK. The whole country built up to this monarchy. Some people are proud of them, some hate them, but one thing is sure, everyone has feelings about the Royals. I heard people say that they just take their money and do nothing
well true and false. The people are paying with their lives, but they are a part of this country’s history. My opinion, if we do not give this money to them, this money will go to someone else’s pocket
at least like this we sponsor history.
And the Queen’s death is history. I’m 33 years old and I have never lived in a World where England doesn’t have a Queen and that Queen wasn’t Elizabeth II. So when I heard the news, I felt sad and shocked. I liked and some ways I adored that woman. She was funny, kind and had an amazing humor. She was a bit like everyone’s grandmother. But she was so powerful, elegant and everyone respected her for her service and her huge heart. I’m sad. Even though I have never met her, she is on our money, buildings, transport, she is in everyone’s life in the UK. An era has ended on Thursday, 8th September 2022.
She has been reigning for 70 years. She has done many things during these years, you can read them everywhere. Her elegance and still being a human made me respect her, not those amazing things. Yes, sure she made mistakes as everyone else. Even if she was The Queen, she was a human being. He Majestic was born in a different world, she had been through so many things and many more changes, but she could stay as a human. She wasn’t just the Queen of the UK. If you ask people around the world, they may not know who their own prime minister is, but everyone knows who Queen Elizabeth II is. Funny story, but I remember when I was a kid (around 5-6), I heard in the news about another royal family. I was shocked and totally confused
 I said to my Mom “How is it possible that there is another Queen in the World? I thought The Queen is (sorry, I was a kid) that old lady called Elizabeth?!”. So yes, she wasn’t just the UK’s Queen.
How is London now? Quiet. You can feel the sorrow in the city. People are living their lives, they are in pubs, but those pubs are much quieter than usual. The streets are less busy. You can feel the sadness and the shock everywhere. I have never seen this quiet weekend since I moved here.
As I said, an era ended on Thursday. I hope she will rest in peace.

Thank you for listening guys.

XOXO,

Krisz ♄

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Who am I?

Hello Guys,

I know, I know, I didn’t write a word almost a month ago
I promise, as soon as I can, I will kick my own butt. Due to I assigned May to “Confidence”, I wanted to talk about my confidence (or sometimes, when I don’t have), how I lost it and how I built it up so many times
but something came in my mind that I couldn’t let it go and I think first we need to clear the air about this question. Once we know who we are, we can build up our confidence, opposite this will never work. But seriously, is this the right question or is it something else that we are searching for?

I had a lot of conversations about this with my friends and family. It seems that nowadays everyone wants to “find themself”. We are just searching for something that is actually US. 

Who am I? So many times we feel we are lost and have know idea who we are and what we really want in our life. And that’s okay. Noone need to punish themselves about this. This is a normal outcome of growing. We can grow by the changes and never by the routine. During those changes our personality changes a lot (even if we don’t want to or don’t even recognize that.)

In my opinion we are not just one “thing”. If you ask people who they are, mostly they will tell you their jobs. “ I am a doctor”- “I am a banker”-” I am a hairdresser”- “I am
” Really? Are we really our jobs? Or do we “do” something for the living? Do you see the difference?😉

Or when you ask a mother- “I am a mother.” Yes, you are
but you are not just a mother. She is also a daughter, a sister, a wife, a girlfriend, a friend, etc. Or obviously if it is a man, he can be a father, a brother, a friend, also he has a job, so he can be a banker, fisher, etc.

My favorite one is when actually the answer is based on our mood
”I am angry”- “I am mad”- “I am upset”- Seriously? Are you? Is this who you are? Or is this what you feel at the moment? And this is very important and very dangerous guys, because words have power
what you feel,who you say you are today will be the one tomorrow. Don’t get me wrong,when we say and feel “I am happy”-“I am amazing”- “I am excited”… These are all good “to be”s, and we should use these phrases so much more, but be careful with the negative pair of them.

I don’t know how you work guys, but usually “I am” at least 6 different people each day (and that was an easy day). My point is that this is one of the most complicated questions ever. The answer: It depends on the mood, the job, the place where you live, the people around you, the environment, ethnicity, etc. I am stubborn, moody, complicated,hysteria, a fighter,a woman, a sister, a friend. I am also clever, nice,kind, pretty, sexy, bitchy, lost, smooth, even the worst days I can be a dragon (dracharys) and able to burn it down everything around me.😅

Based on the conversations with people around me and on my own “searching myself journey” here is what I found out: the most important question is not “Who I am?” The most important is “Who I want to become?” My mentor and mostly my friend ( drop me a message if you want her contact, because she is a magician and helped me a lot everytime when  I had difficulties in my life) helped me a lot with this question and let me realize this.

I’m sure all of you heard this so many times, but it is so true: “who you think you are today, will be the person tomorrow.” So my conclusion is that we do not need to find ourselves. We are who we are and we are all what we think we are. Most importantly we should be happy, in harmony, accept the worst sides of us, because those are us too and find who we want to be. Once you find the answer for this question, you can work to become that person. 

How do you do that? How do you find the person you want to be? Just ask yourself everyday, every time until you find the answer. (Or at least that’s how I do.) And trust me, during your journey, your life this answer will always change and that’s fine too.

No matter what you should know that you are perfect (even when you are a dragon). 😉 You deserve to be loved and if someone says otherwise, just say: Dracharys! 😉

I love you all♄

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire 😘

P.s.: If you have any questions or just want to see the daily quotes easier, please follow my Instagram or Facebook page. I plan to change the blog look and the quotes,but I will update you guys on time.😘

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Gratitude and happiness

Hello Lovelies,

Yes, you are right, I am much happier than ever. 😁 (Okay that’s just a joke, because nowadays I am quite happy every day.) As you know, (because I told you in the past posts) I have started to do a “course” with the Transformation Academy (no, I am not promoting them or it is not a commercial, I just really love their courses) which is called the 21 Day Happiness Challenge. It is amazing. 😊 I cannot tell you everything, but I have done a bit of a summary for you. The course was made to break 3 parts. 

The first part is called “Happiness routine”. Each day you will add another activity to your happiness daily routine, so at the end of the week, you will have a 7 points Happiness routine list which you can practice everyday.

The Routine:

  1. Gratitude
  2. Music
  3. Self-Love
  4. Physiology
  5. Happy Anchor
  6. Incantation (affirmation)
  7. Meditation

Well, as I said I am not allowed to talk about them so much, so I will not explain each of them properly, but I am sure that you can figure it out, which activity means what. (I really recommend the challenge with the Academy, because they are super nice and all is fun.)

What I can talk about and I want to talk about is gratitude from my perspective. Why the gratitude? What does it even mean? Why is it so important? How can we practice? Why does it work sometimes and why not the other times? Do I need to be grateful everyday and all day? Is it even possible? 

Let’s start at the beginning as we usually do (then I will talk too much, losing the subject and in the end I will be somewhere else- I know.:) – but I also know that that’s why you love me. 😜). So why the gratitude? We are human beings (yes, even me) and we have feelings, plans (that’s definitely me), dreams and wishes. And that’s okay. What is not okay, that we do not wish for something more and appreciate what we already have or achieved
Noooo
we want things (not even wish) and in the meantime we do not care about what we have. ( I made the same mistake so many times in my life, and paid a huge price for it.) I know and I understand that maybe the job is sh@t, or your boss is a Khmm yes, what you think he/she is
 and your boyfriend doesn’t even listen to you, or the neighbor is so loud and annoying, or your parents/teachers want way too much from you, or the house where you live is a disaster
etc. The list is long and we all know that nothing is always perfect, so if you look at your life a bit, I am sure you can find something to complain about. And that’s the point where we all make mistakes.

Wish for more, that’s absolutely perfect. Work for it. But NEVER, ever complain about what you have. I don’t say that because in Africa the children are hungry, so you do not eat. That’s stupid. Or I do not say, if your neighbor is loud, just sit and wait for some miracle. That’s also stupid. What I say, that instead of complaining about what you do not have or have but not how you want it, just sit down sometimes and see what you can like/love about your current situation. Maybe your boyfriend doesn’t listen always, but you are with him, because of some reason (that’s just you know why). Instead of complaining, leave him  if it cannot be solved the problem (yes, if he hits you, or gives you drugs, etc.), or just sit down and think about how someone may want a family and kids, but she/he doesn’t even have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Or you complain about your job, but you are there because you loved once. You get your salary from there. So just send your CV, and in the meantime, find what you loved in it at the first time and when you have a better opportunity, just quit. Simply and less stress.

Until you cannot find good things in your life, you can never be happy. Even on the worst day you can find something
like the sun is shining, you have a home, you have family, friends, you have a job, you can eat, you have clothes to wear, etc. After I wake up every single day I write at least 10 things why I am happy/grateful from the day before. It could be small, it could be big things (or things are big for me), but I do this. I think this is a very nice exercise, because you can “live it again” yesterday, and feel gratitude straight after you wake up. And try to keep it for the rest of the day. I have read in so many books that how you feel the first 20 minutes of your day, will define your day. 

BUT
and here is the trap
 it is not enough just to write everyday why are you grateful, you must feel it. Of course if you write something so many times, the feeling will come, but if you don’t feel gratitude the whole listing, journaling, meditating, etc is just a bullsh@t. The feeling is the key.  Also if you write every morning why are you grateful, but the rest of the day you are just complaining about your life
well why are you exactly waiting for the miracle? I know how important it is, because I made those mistakes.

I had a super job, but I wanted to change. I wanted to do something different. Instead I just wished for the new job and was happy, because I already had a job, so I could pay my bills, I could fly home to visit my family, I had nice colleagues, etc. Noooo, what have I done? Yep, I started to complain. I have complained about my colleagues, my commute, about everything, whatever you can imagine. Nothing was good. I got a new job soon and it was worse than the previous.

Do you think I have learnt from this? Of course not. I made the same mistake with my house. I lived in a nice house, which wasn’t perfect, but it was nice, in a nice area and I used to live with nice people. I have done nothing just complaining about it and soon I had to move and guess what happened? Yes, again, I had a house where mice were running around, it was noisy and it always smelled like the KFC on the corner. 

What I want to say, that it is normal if you want something better, but you cannot get better things until you cannot truly feel appreciation for what you already have. It’s not enough to just write the things every day, you must feel it. Also very important that if you make “mistakes”, do not punish yourself. Sit down and try to find what you can learn from it.

I have a person in my life who is really nice to me and he said something yesterday which is so true and I think everyone should consider it: “Whatever condition or place you find yourself in life, always give thanks to God.” (Universe/Life/Mother Earth- however you call it) Just think about it. 😊

So be happy and grateful for your life everyday, even if it seems you are sitting in the middle of the storm, because after the storm will come the rainbow.

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire😘

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Forgiveness

I know, I promised that I will share with you my Happiness Challenge experiences and I will. Actually Forgiveness is a part of the challenge, a bit later, but I thought this is one of the most important. 

Why? Well, you can do a Happiness Routine and all the practices and they will help, but if you do have negative feelings for someone (or even worse for yourself), how can you be happy and positive? You see? You can’t. Or at least not permanently. (Again that’s just my opinion and based on my experience.) When you have negative feelings about something or someone, you cannot be positive. When you are negative means that you do not have love or any kind of positive energy in your body, so your vibe is not the highest ever. Happiness is a positive and very high level of energy, so you must forgive and let go of the things that you do not desire in your life.

Let’s just clear the air first. What does it mean to forgive? So many people (including me in the past) think about forgiveness like a ritual and they also think you have to go there and say it out loud to the people who make you angry, upset, mean, etc. That’s not really true. You can do that for sure, but forgiveness is much more for your own health and nothing to do with the other person or the situation. There are so many techniques that can help you to forgive( I will give you some ideas), but it doesn’t matter which one you use, if it is not coming from your heart. To forgive someone is just a decision. You choose to let go of the bad/negative/unsatisfied feelings and open the next chapter in your life (with or without the person or situation).

Also forgiveness is not equal to forgetting.Forgive someone does not mean that you have to forget everything and let them behave like nothing happened. Actually the opposite. You should remember, even if it hurts you, because if you do not learn the lesson, it will happen again. I believe that everything and everyone enters our life for a reason. Someone comes to give you positive feelings, someone teaches you something, someone stays “forever”, someone just a “traveler” when finished with their “job” they let you go without them. And it’s good like this. Forgiving is creating your own boundaries. 

“Forgiveness is not for the other person. Forgiveness is a gift for yourself.”

Elizabeth Lombardo

I have learnt another lesson about forgiveness. When you do it, you should check the “mirror”. What does that mean? Well, you forgive something that created a bad feeling in yourself. You are never forgiven for positive/good things. The most important question (and actually this is the “mirror”) is why those things bothered you? Why did you feel bad about what other people have done to you? 

I know it sounds stupid and not make any sense at the first time, but you should check why d you hurting yourself and with what. (Okay, now I hear that everyone says: “she is an idiot”; “why should I hurt myself?”; “This is crazy”; etc.- trust me, I have asked the same questions when I first heard about this theory. Just think about it.) We have thousands of thoughts every hour and day. And trust me you cannot control all of them (nope, even not me, who is a very control freak woman. 🙂 ) You do it unconsciously and that’s okay. That’s not a problem and you do not have to check all your thoughts (you will never be able to do that). I just say, that when you sit down to forgive something, think about the fact that may you created this situation, because may you do not trust enough, not love enough yourself, may you punishing yourself about something (what happened in the past).

When you have to forget someone it means you are disappointed. That means you expected something and it did not happen or not on the way you wanted. You can avoid disappointment if you do not expect anything from anyone and if something good happens then you will be happy, if not
well, it would be good like that. (To be honest, if someone knows how NOT to expect anything, please write me, because that something I still cannot do. 🙂 )

So as I said I have a couple of techniques that I use to forgive.

  1. “Writing and burning”- basically I write all my harms on a paper (or you can do it separately, each harm on each paper). Read them out loud and then burn the paper and feel all your anger just gone. (Do not do it when it’s windy or inside your house (not even in someone else’s house, whose you are angry) and make sure you think about all necessary security measures. – At least a glass of water next to you!!!!)
  2. “Eraser”- also, I just write down everything that I wish to forgive with a pencil and instead of burning the paper, I use the eraser and see all my anger gone.
  3. “Meditation”- That sounds very difficult, but it is simple. Just close my eyes, think about the person, think about the situation and the feeling that I felt. When I have got everything, I just simply imagine that the person is in front of me and I say “I forgive you.”

So I will be back with all the experiences from the 21 days Happiness Challenge. BUT until then, you can follow me on Facebook, Instagram or even here and you can get a bit of Happiness from me via my favorite happiness quotes.

Have a super happy (and forgiving) day Spitfires! 😉

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire 

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How to move as a Spitfire (or not)- Part 2

As I promised, I am back with the rest of the story.

So we’re about a week from the moving out date. We were really upset,tired, exhausted and definitely lost. We started the whole process from the beginning. Search for flats (but of course now only for two people), call agents, tell again the situation, etc. Finally there were 2 amazing flats, but The Sign came again…

The agency said we are more than welcome to go and view the properties, but “there is a little bit of an issue with our moving date”. 🙄 Seriously??? Again??? 

Let me explain to you the meaning of the “little bit of issue “- of course if you first thought that mean “we were in the deep shit” , you technically right and dirty minded – it means that they do not like to be on the rush, so what can be done in 2 days, they will do in 3 weeks.

Yes, you are right, another WTF?!?! 

So we visited the 2 properties and we had 2 days left… So much fun! 

Short version: rent a storage room in Southend where we can put our furniture, rent a room on Airbnb, so we can sleep somewhere and pray!!! Pray a lot! 

We did packed our stuff on the 24th to a (rented) van, take them to Southend,but of course not everything could fit in the van (trust me I have selected which are the most important stuff I have…the rest…well RIP), so for a week our Fiat Punto was full of stuff too. It was a huge mess
we were a huge mess.

Do you know for sure when you reach the bottom? Because you start to think clearly and recognize the small signs that maybe can help to sort out your life. On the way back to London we did recognize that maybe we do not have anything to do in Southend. What if we just stay in London and see what life will bring to us? We have decided that we will try with shared houses , because we were sure that we cannot afford a 2 bedroom flat in London. Just set on a bed in an airbnb room, without a home address (technically we became homeless) and waited for destiny. Totally exhausted and hopeless. 

Life is a funny thing guys, because when you let go of something that was actually meant to you, you will get it just as easily as taking a breath. On the flatshare website we found a 2 bedroom flat and you never guess what happened. From the 6-8 application, that 2 bedroom flat was the only place where they did call us and we went to view it. (that was on Wednesday, we had to move out somewhere until Friday, otherwise we will seriously sleep on the street.)

On Thursday at 4pm we signed our 12 months contract for the 2 bedroom flat in London. The other funny fact about this flat is that it is actually in Crouch End, the place what we always loved and always wanted to move there, but the house costs are there way to high for us, and yet, we have got a 2 bed flat for less than what we did paid in our previous house. 🙂 We both cried
after 3 weeks of nightmare and hopeless fight to move to Southend, we did get a flat in one of the most amazing areas of London, just as easily as taking a breath. 🙂 What is this if it is not a miracle???? Maybe I am a dreamer and I am way too optimistic, but this was one of the biggest miracles in my Life. (Slowly I will tell you the others, I promise.) In that week, when we did not have a home, we faced a lot of other small miracles too. I did sell some of my clothes on Vinted, so many random people just smiled to us, we found an amazing printing shop in Palmers Green (Kodak, go there guys because they are so quick and lovely), have back some money from the storage place and last, but not least if you planned to visit London and you do not know where to sleep, book on airbnb one of our host’s amazing rooms. The house is in Palmers Green. It is a lovely area, she is a nice host, helped a lot, smiled a lot and the rooms are huge, clean and tidy. Also she taught me that never plan in your life, because Life will sort you out just the way it is the best for you. You can have dreams, goals and do for them, but not plan. Just let your life happen. 🙂 Thank you, I will be grateful for her help until I live. 🙂 (I can send the link if you wish, guys.)

Also I have another person who’s I have to mention and I think he is one of the best property agents ever. He helped us a lot during the time we have lived in Pelham Road. He was always helpful, nice, kind and one of the nicest people I have ever known. He did everything he could to help us. Even 2 hours after we moved out of the house, we did get back our deposit, which is super quick. I will be grateful for his help as well forever. (If you need a house in North London, ask me for his details and I am sure he will help you too.) 

( I did not forget to mention about my family and friends. They were always next to me and my best friend. They worried about us, cheered for us and they are the best ever. I am grateful for them every single day and I will until I die. ;)- They are the best. Mom, Dad, my brother and his wife, Nicole and Pasquale (I can never be enough grateful for you guys and what have you done to us), and all of them at home, in Hungary. ) Of course Adam has the biggest thanks, due to he is the best friend who did everything with me and whom I still live with. Thank you for being my best friend for 17 years now. 🙂

Of course Friday we went back to Southend and packed our stuff from the storage, packed in Crouch End.We have got another amazing property agent. He is lovely, quick (he did all the paperwork during an afternoon, what on Southend would take 2-3 weeks) and so helpful (you know, ask for his details) We got used to our new home and we finally found peace.

Do I hate my “friend” why she left us? No. She is a nice person and if she thinks earlier, maybe I cannot go home and have the best Christmas Ever in my life, or my Mom could not come and have an amazing time with just the 2 of us here. May we be in Southend, pay less rent, but also we have less salary. May I not learn what I did learn during this time.

What have I learnt? Well so many things. As I mentioned I have learnt to trust people and Life again. I realized that maybe I wanted to go to Southend, but I have nothing to do there. Maybe a month sucks worth it, just to have a nice Christmas and a relaxing week with Mom. I have learnt that we can wish for better things, but we must appreciate what we already have, because nothing is forever and everything is changing
always. No matter what, life never stays the same forever. I have learnt not to take anything or anyone granted. And finally I have learnt to listen to my instinct and trust only the trustful people around me and realized who I can really count on and who’s not. People are just coming and going in your life.

I do understand no what my friend and master Anita always told me about the mirrors. 🙂 Once you criticize someone, stop for a minute and look at yourself in the mirror and find out why those things are frustrating you in the other people, so you will realize that those are the things that you do as well absolutely subconsciously. 

And I finish this story with Anita’s other lesson: “Nobody is your enemy and nobody is your friend. Everyone is in your life to teach you.”

I hope you did enjoy this story and I can help not move like Miss Spitfire! 😉 (I make mistakes so many times. 🙂 )

Next time I will bring you some positive “lessons” about happiness. 😉 

Oh and don’t forget to follow me here, Facebook and/or Instagram for the daily positive quotes. 🙂

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire

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How to move as a Spitfire (or not)- Part 1

I am sorry I have not written for a long time now, but trust me,when you read the story of my last 2 months, you will understand everything. Usually, I write you some positive and energy boosting stories, and I promise I will,but first, I just want to share with you my last 1,5- 2 months.

May I mention that I live in London with 2 of my friends
 Well, I reduced the amount to only one. Start at the beginning: How did it happen?

As I said we live in London, but last Fall we felt that we had enough of London (now I know it wasn’t about London, it was only a part of it), so we decided to move to Southend-on-Sea. It is a lovely city next to the sea. Quite, clean and only 40 minutes by train from London. The property prices were much lower than in London and we had work opportunities there too. We could save some money from the rent and utility bills. All looked amazing and perfect. So, why not?

We set down and discussed this. My “friend” asked for a bit of time to think about it, due to her jobs in London and she didn’t really want to leave London. She has got 2-2,5 weeks to think about it. She did write “pro/contra lists’ ‘. That’s fair enough, due to not everyone just having enough, pack and move to a different city or even country (yes, it was me). She did put everything on a scale and in the end she decided to come with us. YEEEEPPP!!! ( I say again, it was in November, after at least 2 weeks of thinking.) So we did give our notice for the previous house and we had the moving date: 24th February 2022.

Days, weeks and months past. My Mom came to London, had an amazing Christmas and New Year’s Eve (you know all about). We came back to London after our holiday and we were really excited about the move. 

Here I have to mention a bit about signs. As I said , I am a true believer and I really try to live as positively as I can, and like that I absolutely believe in signs. You can call as you wish God/Universe/Life/Etc., but I am sure we always receive signs which guide us in the right direction. If we are clever enough to listen to them we would have less pain in our life. I also told you that I am very stubborn
so like this, I always learn the hard way. Time has come to start searching for our new home. And we did.

First sign was actually that the government made a decision: if more than 2 people wish to rent a whole house, then the landlord has to have a license called HMO license. This license came with a lot of obligations from the landlord (for example the house has to have at least 2 bathrooms, x size of a kitchen, x amount of rooms, etc.). So of course not that many landlords wish to have this complication in their life, so we had our first problem: we couldn’t find a landlord who wants to have us. Sucks
yes
but the story is far away from the end. You know me guys, I am not the kind of girl who just gives up after the first try. No. We have tried to find a solution which can be good for our future landlord and for us too. And we did. If these 3 people are related then the landlord does not have to pay the HMO. (Related means: marriage, family, kids, siblings, cuisines and of course you are able to proof it- bills on all of your names, previous tenancy agreements, etc.). Guess what? We became cuisines. 🙂 Problem solved. We were happy and even found a house. 

Second sign: We were about to go to Southend, see the house and make an offer. Technically just to go and sign the papers. (It was a week before we had to move out.) Half an hour before we were about to depart from our house, my “friend” said that it cost way too much to travel every single day to London (which she just checked the night before- £300), so she cannot come with us. My best friend and I must move out together without her. WTF????? (And now I mean What The F@ck???????????) She asked for time to think, she said she has done research and lists
 and yet, she said 30 minutes before we had to depart to move, that she cannot afford the train tickets
 Seriously???? I think even Buddha could be f@cking upset about this. So we stood there a bit more than one week from the moving out date, no house,no options and had to start everything from the beginning.

What could we do? How do we sort it out? What was the solution? How we became technically homeless for a week? How does the story end? What have I learnt from all these? And most importantly how does a Spitfire make a magic of all of these situations? You will know if you will follow me and read the next part of the story. 😉

Trust me this is just the beginning. 🙂

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire

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Perfection…

Do we always need to be perfect? What does it even mean to be perfect? How you can be? What if I am perfect for my family and I am not for the rest of the World? Perfect means to have the ideal shape? Okay, so what does ideal shape mean? Or does perfect means that I have a degree and I am working in a big multinational company, and have a huge salary (okay, another one, what does the huge salary means?), a husband, house, car, (okay in my age) children? 

What does it mean to be perfect?

To be honest, perfect does not and it does exist. We are different and “perfect” means different things for each of us. The same is that we all want to be perfect for our ideal self, instead we accept the fact that we are who we are and only change, not because someone said that you’re not perfect, change because you want to. Change, because you don’t feel right anymore in your skin. 

I think the biggest  problem is that we don’t even know what we want, how we can be perfect for ourselves. We tell our “ideal story” and we don’t even want that. We tell our parents, friends, loved ones stories and not ours. We want to get married and have kids, because “this is normal”. We don’t even see that we want to please the World with “our dreams”. (Of course respect to the one who’s really living their dreams and making steps for their own wishes.)

The point is that we want to be perfect and to meet the expectations that the World has for us. Like my country has a “funny” proverb to explain a “Dream Girl/Woman”: “ The good woman is a chef in the kitchen, a mistress in the company and a whore in the bed.”

Well
guess what? If you cannot cook, you are not a “perfect woman”. Or you want to be an actress,but you are a bit fluffy and they say that you cannot be an actress, because you are fat. Or the opposite way, your parents are lawyers and even your grandparents were lawyers , so they want you to be a lawyer, but you love music and you want to be a musician and in the end you become a lawyer, because you want to make them happy. 

These are just some of the many expectations that we would like to achieve. And in the meantime we lost ourselves. We don’t even know what we want.

As I said, I have been in my country during the holidays. When I meet with my best friend at home, she always reminds me that I am not getting younger, so I should get married and have kids before it’s too late. 🙂 

Yepp, I have had this in my mind for years and I wanted to be “perfect” for these ideas. I wanted to get married and have kids, just because everyone wanted these things around me, so I thought that these are normal and something is wrong with me. Guess what? These weren’t my dreams at that time. I wanted a career and life, to see the World. Even I made myself stuck in a relationship that wasn’t even good for me, because I wanted to get married. I have planned the names of my kids. Only because I wanted to be “perfect” and make my loved ones happy. And that’s another subject, because do you think we can make people happy if we are not happy at all? (Trust me: NO!)

What now? Now I truly want these things, but I will not jump from the roof, if I cannot get them. Now, I am perfect how I am.

I am loud, stubborn, talking way too much, short, love every kind of sweets, love dancing, watch stupid Hallmark movies, Zumba, Yoga, meditation, dreamy, way too organized, lover of the “to do lists” and white boards, positive, smiley, very impationed, selfish, angry and
.guess what?…f@cking perfectionist. 🙂

I think we all should be who we are and perfectly imperfect, just how we are and live this life how it is good for us and don’t give a sh@t for other’s opinion. The key is to find how we can be perfect for ourselves.

Live like a real Spitfire and don’t feel ashamed. 

I love all your imperfections.

XOXO

Miss Spitfire

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Being in The Present

Hello Spitfires!!!! 🙂

I know I haven’t posted for a while, sorry guys, but I have been in the Present. What does it mean and why is it very important? I will let you know in this post. 

As I mentioned previously I am not from the UK, but I have lived here since 2013. So it means from time to time I am back to my country and visit my family and friends. I have been in my country and I spent the holidays there with my loved ones. I had such an amazing time. Lots of food, drinks, laughs, talks, games and all the fun you can imagine. But how does it explain why I was off writing? Well, I was in the Present.

Most people (including me) can lose easily to planning the future, organizing the next steps to achieve dreams, thinking of the next holidays, new challenges and trying to figure out what the Future will bring. Especially at the beginning of a new year. To plan ahead is very important and to make steps for the future is essential, but so many times we are just lost in the Future and we don’t recognise the amazing things happening around us. So we clearly are not in the Present.

When I am with my family and friends, I like to be really with them. Like to listen to them, see them and be there for them. Not just physically, but emotionally and give them all my attention. Maybe because I don’t spend that much time in my country, when I am there, I like to be lost in the landscape, the smalls, the sounds, study the nature and just feel it. I know it sounds so cheesy (especially from me), but this is the truth. It is very important to me to store every single moment when I am there. Even though I feel a bit guilty why I am not doing my usual yoga, run, exercises, meditation, and other “positive techniques” when I am at home, but this is normal, when you are on holiday, you do not follow your everyday life routine. It is impossible and unnecessary, because you do more for your positive attitude, if you are just enjoying your time when you are on holiday.

Even when I am back in my life, I try to discover new things and try to be in the Present as much as I can. It is hard to be in the Present in our everyday life. I assume just like me, you have a routine for everything. Wake up at the same time everyday. Go to your workplace (even if it is in the living room), have a daily routine, lunch break, close your laptop, go home, prepare dinner, etc.Really hard to be in the Present like that.

I have a little game that I am playing to stay in the Present during my everyday routine. Most of us use public transport. So when I am on the tube, bus, train, airport or every other crowded places (if you work from home you can do this when you are in the shop to do the grocery shopping or just during your daily walk), I give myself at least 5-10 minutes to have a look around me and asking the same question: “ What can I love/like here and now?” So easy, but it helps a lot to stay in the Present. Maybe you like someone’s hair, boots, jackets, the book they read, the phone, the bags, the attitude, the jewellery, anything. Funny and useful, because you are in the Present and focus on positive things.When you do this game obviously you cannot focus on 2 things at the same time, so you are not able to think about your future, job,dinner etc., because you are looking at something you like just right Now. Also it is good, because you are positive, you have positive vibes when you are focusing on something you like or love. 

The key is where you focus. Even if I feel worried about something or stressed, I stop for 5 minutes (yes, go to the loo, so no one can interrupt or say that you are just stopped. It is easier if you work from home for sure) and have a look at what I can like/love. If you cannot see anything (because you are in the loo and if you are not a loo liker, hard to find anything nice), just think about and list at least 5 things why/who you can be grateful for. 

For me it always works, BUT we are not the same and that’s normal. As I always say, question me, because I do not talk about facts, so I will never say that it is the best for you too. I think it is worth giving it a try.

During this year I have decided to share with you the exercises I do daily, weekly and monthly. I will let you know about how I became more positive and how I transformed from a very pessimistic person to a very optimistic one.

Stay with me, have a super time and enjoy this amazing Spitfires’ life I will try to show you!

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire

P.S.: You can ask any question, any time if you wish, just find me on Facebook, Instagram or here via comments. 🙂

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New Year’s resolutions

Is New Year really equal to the new me? Do we really change a bit each year beginning? Why do we need the new year’s resolutions? Do we need them or just a nice cliche? Really the number at the end of the date will change everything? What’s the reason for the resolutions?

I don’t know how you feel about the end of the year, and I know it seems like a big cliche, but I think every New Year brings a new chance for a new beginning. Of course it will be a new year and a new number at the end of the date, but I always feel this is a new beginning. Most of the people make new year’s resolutions and we all know not that much will still exist longer than February. The most common of course to lose weight, stop smoking, stop drinking, eat healthier, go to gym every day, etc. I have my own kind of tradition.

Before or on the last day of each year I make a list. I take out my last year list(s) and check what I have got, what I achieved and what is left. After that I think if I still would like to get those that are left from last year or not. If I still feel I really want those things, I write again to the new list.

Every year the list has some categories, such as relationships, money, career, family, travel, “me time”, personal growth, etc. the most important parts of my life on the paper each year. I write down everything I really wish to get in the next 12 months.

It is very funny and interesting how much our wishes can change during a year or how many things we can achieve. Usually 80% of the list ticked and the funny part is, the points are not ticked I never really wanted. 

This “exercise” is very good to realize our dreams, where we need to still work and see how much we changed. I have been doing this for 5-6 years now and usually I take out all my lists before I start to do the new one to see how much I have changed.

The key is that we should write down everything. Since I started to practice positive thinking, the first rule that I have learnt is that we need to write down everything that we wish to get. Why? Because, if you just talk and think about something most likely you will never take a step to get it. No evidence, so no one knows if we do not lift a finger to work for it, so no guilt either. Instead if you grab a paper and list everything, you will have physical evidence that you have something to work on, you cannot be lazy, you start to feel guilt and most likely you and start to take steps for it. Each time you read the list, your unconscious mind starts to work on the solutions to get each thing. Your mind realizes that you do not have those things, so need a “plan” or “way” to have them. This is just simple psychology. But this is another post’s subject. 🙂

So if you want to take steps for your next year or just want to have a bit of fun, grab a paper and list all your wishes. (Don’t forget, this is still the holiday season, so magic works stronger.- Just saying. 😉 ) 

I am sure one of the points will be this year on my list to continue to be with you and may even help you Spitfires. 🙂

Happy New Year to all of you and see you in 2022!!! 🙂

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire