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10 easy steps before 2025!

Hello, hello

I hope you are having fun in the Christmas markets and getting ready for the holiday season. Well, I am. 😅 But while this time of the year is about Christmas and love, we should not forget another big celebration: New Year’s Eve! When I was a kid, I was so excited when the countdown started because I thought once the clock hit midnight, something wonderful would happen, and magically, I would have a new life. Year by year I stood beside my parents with my champagne (of course non-alcoholic) and waited for the magic which never happened. As I got older I realised that only because the year changes on the calendar nothing will change. We have to work for it. No one has a magic wand. The changes start with you.

While I enjoy the advent vibe, I also summarise the past 12 months. You cannot create anything new without cleaning the old. We all know that we have to make space for the new in our life. First, you must be honest with yourself and organise the good and the bad. What and who do you want to keep in your life and what are the things or people you have to let go to have a fresh start? I do this usually every quarter, but before New Year’s Eve, I create a list of things I have achieved and a list of what I must release. This is hard because you have to be brutally honest with yourself. I have an amazing exercise to close the year and set up the new goals for the next. It’s only 10 steps, but it has so much power.

  1. Grab a piece of paper and on the left side write down everything that went bad or gave you discomfort. I start with the so-called negative aspects of my life because these are the things I have to release. These things will give you tears and make you feel sad, disappointed and sometimes angry. Take a day when you focus on these things and feelings. Feel everything. Even if it’s hard. Cry, if must, but don’t hold anything back.
  1. The next day write down in the middle of the paper every lesson you have learnt. Every small and big realisation about yourself, the people you love, situations, career, money, etc. Every situation that you think it was a lesson. Then sit with them for the rest of the day.
  1. Finally, on the third day write down everything that you are grateful for the past year. Same as with the negatives or with the lessons, write down every big or small thing. And sit with it for a day or two or as long as you need.
  1. Summarise. What you could do better? What do you want to let go (or who)? What do you want to keep? What is still important?
  1. Once these are done, I want you to take an empty paper and write down all the things you want to achieve during the next year. Everything. Every big and small goal. No matter what comes to your mind just write it down on the paper. The number one rule: be honest with yourself. Don’t rush. This can take days. Have fun with it. Imagine that you have all the time and money in the world… what do you want?
  1. Whenever you feel you are ready with the list categorise the items. Here are some examples of categories: family and relationships, money, career, health, self-development, spirituality, fun, wellness, etc. 
  1. Once you have your categories, choose a maximum of three items from each category. The three that are the most important to you. (If you have difficulties choosing then use the “7 Whys Method” for each goal you wrote on your paper. You grab the item and ask seven times in writing why you want that.) Now you have your list of goals for the next 12 months.
  1. The most important thing is to take a small step towards each goal. One small thing. Ask yourself  “What can I do NOW to get…?” And do it. If you want to get healthier, for example, you can grab an apple right now and eat it. If you want to go to Italy next summer, stand up and get some money from your wallet and put it in the “Italian vacation” jar. Doesn’t matter what, but do one thing right away, so your brain attaches the list with success and doesn’t get overwhelmed by the amount of work you’ll have to do during the next year to achieve all the goals you wrote.
  1. Now that we have the list and made the first step, we have another very important thing to do: schedule follow-ups. Most people have New Year resolutions but they never achieve even the 3% of the list, only because they forget the list exists.  So to avoid failure schedule a day every month when you look at goals and decide what to do next or just check the process. Look at where you are and what is still accurate or what is not so important after all. (Remember that we are changing. Some of the goals were important in January, but while we go deeper into the year, so many things happen with us and some of the items on our paper will became less important and others will be priorities.) 
  1. The last bit is to divide the goals by the 12 months. The human brain cannot focus million things at once. If you try to do that and achieve everything in 30 days, you get overwhelmed, burn out and give up. Nobody can conquer the world in one day. So be wise and divide. May to achieve some of the goals you need help, or you can do them only in the Summer or Winter time. Think and organize.

I know that all of you are so happy and proud of your list and so excited about the next year, but one thing you never forget: let it go. I know you have the perfect list and the perfect plan, why should you let go? Because life happens. Always. And if you are so stubborn and don’t let Life/God/Universe give you a better option it will be a very hard year with so much suffering. Everything is happening for a reason and you get everything you want and what meat for you at the right time. Not sooner, not later. Enjoy the process, enjoy the ride that we call life. Because if you do, much better things can come into your life than the ones you just wrote on that paper. Please keep in mind that the goals are only guides, not rules. 

Here are some of my goals for 2025:

  • Eat healthier. Less sugar and more green. (Even though I will never be a salad girl! 😅)
  • Exercise more (daily walk and pilates, plus dance is fine, but I want to ride my bicycle more often and go hiking or have Zumba back into my life.)
  • Post often on the blog
  • Keep being the best auntie possible. 😎 And spend more time with my family.

These are my main priorities for 2025. I hope these give you some ideas. 😘

SpitFire up and face all your fears and failures. Create your dream list and enjoy the ride!😘But most importantly: Have Fun!!!!!🥰

Oh, and please don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: Follow me here, on Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest.

Facebook: @SpiritSpitfires

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Change your perspective

Hello Guys,

I hope you are having fun and starting to feel the Christmas spirit. Okay, I know, maybe some of you are not that much of a fan of the holidays. (Doesn’t matter I still love you all Grinches.😝) Advent season is my favourite, but staying alone under the mistletoe does not make me happy either…until now. Not because I finally kissed the right frog and became a prince…no. 😅 But something happened and changed my perspective. And that’s what I want to talk about—changing perspective.

Usually, I go to sleep quite early, but a couple of days ago I couldn’t fall asleep. So I started to dumb scroll my social media and found a video that made me think and changed my view of everything, especially my relationship status. I know, it’s a shame on me that I did not save the video or even remember the guy’s profile, but he said that every time he feels blue because he is single, he starts to imagine that what if next year this time he will be in a relationship and he will have a fight with the love of his life and he just wishes to be single again. So basically he said that he enjoys every minute of his single life because you never know when The One comes and maybe he wants to have back his life alone. Bumm!!! Hit me in the face! I have never thought about my life like this. He has done nothing just shifted the focus. 

So I started to think. I love the holidays, the decorations, the Christmas markets, the lights, smells, foods, songs (especially the songs😅), buying gifts and all the advent vibe. BUT! As a single person when Christmas Eve came and I stood alone in the mistletoe, I felt so lonely and disappointed. Even if I was with my amazing family and friends, I felt that something was wrong with me. Of course, I knew that I was fine and this was just a period of my life. Usually, when this emotion hits I start to tell myself The List (all the things only a single can do) and it helps, but this video hit me so hard. Because I thought I was positive and handled this whole “magical love is all around” thing well, but I just used toxic positivity and covered my emotions with my little list. Plus I haven’t enjoyed the last couple of Christmases as much as I could because I was too focused on the fact that I’m “alone”. I couldn’t appreciate the fact that how much I wasn’t alone. The fact that how lucky I was and I am because I have a wonderful family, both my parents are alive and healthy, and I have the best nephews ever, plus year by year I have more people I can call friends. My head was in my ass and that video finally pulled it out. I talk about gratitude here, but I wasn’t grateful at all. But that’s okay. I’ll not punish myself because I’m only a human…I’m not perfect, but I’m truly grateful that I realised these things before it’s too late. 

Don’t get me wrong, I still wish to have someone in my life who I can call my own but from now on I enjoy the advent even if I am alone because I never know when that prince finally find his white horse and rides to me. It’s good to have someone but as a single woman I do not have to play puzzle with the time and make sure that we visit his family and mine too. Plus you guys know exactly how this works…the day is good for you it’s not good for your brother’s family and the dates that are good for his family are not good for yours, and all the parents want the same date and everything is just like a business schedule. 😅🙄Not to mention the struggle with the gifts and the cooking/baking procedure. Instead, of all these hustles I go to my parent’s house before Christmas and I’ll only move from my favourite armchair when I have to eat… probably I’ll even sleep in it. 🤷‍♀️🤣 I do not have to go outside in the cold and visit anyone else. No expectations.

Everything has a bright side. So many times we don’t see it or don’t want to see it. Not always easy to find the light in the dark, I know, but there is. Always. I don’t talk about the fake positivity. If something is sucks, it’s sucks. We have to feel it but after we give it out we should change our perspectives otherwise life will just go by and in the end, we have no idea how we end up there where we will be. So many times we think we have time, but after all those years I just realised what it means that we only have the present. 

Christmas is just one thing where you can use his method. And this is not just for singles. Think about it. For example, if you really wish to have a kid, but somehow doesn’t happen instead of you becoming depressed and anxious, you can shift your focus. Like my best friend did. (P.S. She is one of the strongest women on Earth!🥰) She used the same technique without knowing she did. Now she enjoys the time with her husband and appreciates every moment. They travel a lot because they never know when the kid comes and obviously after that, they will not be able to go for a long weekend just for the 2 of them. Was it easy for her? Hell No! But it was worth it because she is glowing now. They don’t give up on the kid, but until the little angel arrives they enjoy life as it is.

Another example is if you want to change your job or find one, instead of crying and complaining, just shift your perspective. Send your CVs and cover letters but in the meantime enjoy the fact that you do not have to wake up early or dress up. You can go for a walk whenever you want or stay home and read a book. Try to enjoy these things while you search for a “perfect job” because very soon you have to go to work and maybe you will not be this free for years.

Don’t get me wrong I talked about this here in the blog but in a different view and I thought I used the focus shift and I did but never about my relationship status. 😅 But now this hit me so hard. The most important is that you never give up on what you want but until you get it trust God/Universe/The process (however you want to call it) and focus on the millions of miracles around you. Because doesn’t matter who says what, you are a miracle. Everything and everyone around us is a miracle and if we start to see Life from a different angle it delivers our dreams. But if you keep whinging about the things you do not have, guess what? You will never have them. 

So SpitFire up and look at your life from a different perspective. It’s worth it!😘

Oh, and please don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: Follow me here, on Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest.

Facebook: @SpiritSpitfires

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Kings and Queens

Hello Guys,

I know, you are so surprised to have me again in such a short time. Don’t get used to it, but this subject has been on my mind for weeks and finally decided to come out.😅 So what you will read is about gender roles and their changes. Don’t worry I will not lecture or do a whole history class just my (and some wonderful ladies’) opinion. Like always, you can agree, disagree and please question everything I say.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a class (not about gender roles, but when a bunch of fantastic women sit together on a Saturday afternoon, anything can happen), and we started talking about fairy tales and how important they are for the kids’ growth. (I study pedagogy now.)Of course, when you talk about fairy tales and are a woman in your 30s, 40s, or 50s, you first think about Disney movies. And here is where all the magic started to happen.👸

100 years ago women had only one role: stay home and wait for their prince, he would sort out everything. Translation: women don’t have the right to vote or go to work, god forbids them even thinking about studying. I’m sure every one of you saw those commercials from the ‘50,’60 and ‘70 America where they display how should look like and behave a perfect wife. (if you are interested in this subject, watch the movie Monalisa’s Smile with Julia Roberts.) In Hungary was a bit different but not so much. Men went to work gave the money to their wives and in return, the love of their life did all the housework and took care of the kids. There were men’s jobs and women’s jobs and life was happy. And fairy tales based on this ideology. 

Look at Sleeping Beauty! She falls asleep, waits until the prince has done all the work, and finally shows up and kisses her. The best life ever! (By the way, I can be the best Sleeping Beauty, I love sleeping and it would be much better to pass my time via sleeping and wait for the goddamn price to kiss me than work and stress and save myself every single day!😉) Or Snowwhite! Come on! Same story. Okay with more poison, apples and dwarfs, but she waits while her prince fights the battles. – Little Mermaid, Cinderella, etc. The list goes on and on with the same theory. Girls have to do nothing while their men do all the work. They just have to be beautiful, doesn’t even have to say a single word. (It is even preferable to shut up and just be.) Was it good? Well,  it depends on who you ask, but in my opinion, it wasn’t good like this. (And we all agreed on it in my class.)

 But honestly, that was inherited from our parents and grandparents. I remember a conversation with my beloved grandma. I introduced my (ex) boyfriend to her and asked him to bring me my coffee. My grandma was so upset about MY behaviour and she told me that I could lose the guy if I didn’t start to act like a proper woman. I asked her what she meant and she told me that a woman’s job is to take care of her man and give everything to him, not the other way around.  And she did. I remember when Granny died we didn’t find Grandpa’s socks and he had no idea where they were because Granny prepared his outfit for the day every morning. She gave him breakfast, lunch, dinner, and coffee, and cleaned his clothes. She took care of the whole house. That’s how our parents were raised: men’s jobs and women’s jobs. But what about nowadays?

Look at the fairy tales. Merida…no need for a man, she handles everything. Rapunzel… she has a prop, Flint who helps her, but she does most of the work. Elsa…no man at all, but she is the hero. And that’s what our life looks like. Women became Heros. Life has changed a lot. Now women study, have lovely careers and don’t need a man. The world turned upside down. Women are more masculine than men. We struggle because society still wants us to do the “women’s jobs”, but get a degree first and have around the same amount of money that your man takes home. If you are single you get a stamp that you are a careerist, ambitious, and too strong. And because our men have become more feminine they are “scared” of a strong woman. Why scared? Well, a strong and independent woman is her own Hero. She doesn’t need to be saved or rescued anymore. A strong woman doesn’t need a man…but wants one badly. So she kisses millions of frogs until she finds her prince and doesn’t wait for the one. (I would be so grateful if someone just let me know the exact amount of frogs that should kiss because I’m f@cking tired of kissing the animals.🤷‍♀️) But what is the problem?

Communication! I had a discussion with my friend and mentor. She told me an interesting theory and she is right. So we talked about gender differences and how we feel as single women (she is a single mother too). We agreed that the main issue is the lack of communication. If we look at our lives we can see that we are afraid to speak up because of the “what ifs”. 

“What if they do not like me if I say such and such?” “What if my boss fires me and I do not have a job and I have to find another place (which by the way you wanted to do a million years ago because it is a sh@twhole, but you are too lazy to take the time and energy to get another one.)” “What if the guy will never call or text me back if I say honestly that I do not like his style or how he treats me?” “What if I tell my Dad that it feels so embarrassing when he treats me like a kid in front of the whole family?” All those “what ifs”. So we do not say anything, just assume or expect the other one to have a minimum of a crystal ball and know what we want. 

Another thing is when we open our mouths but avoid the “hard” conversations and talk about the total bullsh@t. Seriously, when you are over 30 and you are a woman the most important question is what the guy’s favourite colour is on your first date, instead of asking his view of the future (kids, marriage, plans, goals, etc.)? I mean, yes, if you are a teenager this will be one of the most important along with his favourite food and band, but over 30???? Come on ladies!!!! You don’t talk about these because “what if I scare him away”. Guess what?! If he runs away because of these questions, he is a boy and not a man and, if you don’t want to raise someone else’s kid, he is not the one for you. Thank God you figured this out on the first date instead of on your 10th anniversary.

My friend told me something interesting. Back in the day generations lived together and great-grandparents and grandparents helped the women to raise the kids, plus they did not have to work, so they never stressed, because they had help…without asking. Later grandparents were there. When women went back to work they were there and the community had a huge role too. In villages, people knew and helped each other with everything. Nowadays generations live separately, women have the same expectations from society and no one helps or they are conditioned not to ask for help. If we ask for help we feel weak and powerless. That’s what we learn in school too. If you ask for help the other kids laugh at you and start bully (“you dumbass”) or some teachers even note that you are not clever enough. You ask help from your parents as a kid and they are either not at home or don’t have time because of their million other activities. We do not communicate our needs, especially women because we saw in Moana that we have to sort out everything alone and all the positive quotes say that we are strong and able to reach the sky alone. I see that we can do so much and much more than we can imagine on our own, but there are times when we must ask for help and that’s not a weakness, that’s one of the strongest things ever, to leave our pride and admit that we are only human.

Last but not least, my friend has a 13-year-old son. He asked her how to deal with a girl. (Cute, yeah?😊) She told him the 3 ways to be in a relationship, but the first thing she said to him is this: “You sit down and talk about how you imagine your future together. Based on the girl’s answers there are 3 ways to live in a relationship and treat her.” The problem starts here. Parents are not teaching their sons how to deal with a girl or daughters how to treat a boy. Kids don’t learn what it means to be a man or woman. How to act, talk, be one and how to deal with the other gender. We do not have a relationship or gender classes. We learn everything from our experiences and we have so many failures until we may become lucky and finally, that Frog turns into The Prince. Women and men go out to the world without knowing who they are or what are their values and how to treat each other. No boundaries, only insecurity.

So what’s the conclusion? Women don’t need to cut the grass, fix the car or take the first step with the man they are so crazy about (let him be the man), even if you can. Men don’t have to bend and do all the housework, and raise the kids by themselves (but help is a MUST HAVE) especially if they don’t want to. But if you want something, please men up and make the first move, ask her out, call her first or text her without waiting for her to text you (because she is waiting for you as she is a WOMAN). Aka. Girls, it is okay, if you let the guys help kill the dragons and guys, please get your balls back and save us even if we don’t need it, please do not let us be the Hero all the time. 

Okay, even if you are a man or a woman SpitFire up your role and live your life!😘Finally, I want to leave you with Dr. Sara Al Madani’s quote: “ Men and women are not compete with each other they complete each other.”😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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10 season-changing tips

Hello guys,

I hope you are well and having a wonderful Fall. As much as I love pumpkin spice lattes, I still prefer iced coffees during hot summer days. BUT very soon we reach the second best time of the year… yeeeess, Christmas Baby!!!🤪 (Sorry, Grincses!!!! 😅)

Anyway, I’m not sure how you feel, but the days are getting shorter, the nights are getting longer, and the weather is chilly and miserable, so for me, it’s a hard job to get out of bed and not just stay there with a nice book and my coffee. Not to mention get sh@t done and be positive in the meantime. This is the hardest season-changing in the year. I’m excited when we enter the Christmas holiday season or not a problem with the “from Winter to Spring” short time. (As you know me, I love Summer, so I’m sure I don’t have to explain my relationship with that change. 😅)So if you relate, I have good news. During my time in London (where most of the time the weather is like this and not just in the autumn) I’ve tried many things to lift my mood and make it easier this period of the year. I found 10 easy things that helped me out of the season change.

  1. Go outside for a little walk. I know and I can even hear: “WTF is wrong with you? Are you crazy? It’s f@cking cold outside!”🤣- Well you are right, but research (and me) proved that only a 10-minute walk lifts your mood, clears your head, helps focus and reduces stress hormones in your body.
  1. Morning exercise. It can be anything. I do 30-40 minutes of yoga or pilates every morning and after that, I feel like I’m a brand new woman who can and will conquer the world. But it can be anything. Go to the gym and lift some weights.💪 Run, if you like. (I do if I have to… for my life.) Most important is to move your body a little bit because exercise will give you a dopamine boost so your mood will be instantly better.
  1. Meditate. Any kind of meditation can help. Focus inside, release the things that no longer serve you, and be quiet. Meditation can be a long walk in nature or sitting on a bench. Don’t necessarily have to be long. 5 minutes is more than enough if you are short on time. The most important is that you are in the present. We are so worried about our past mistakes and all the “what ifs” or stressing about the future, so we forget to enjoy the present. 🧘‍♀️
  1. Be with your loved ones. While the summer is all about going out, fall is more about staying in. But you can still interact with others. Organise a movie night or watch the match together at home. Some like to play board games nights, while others prefer the spa evenings. Family dinners are cool too. No matter what, just do with people who cheer you up. Human interactions are the best mood lifters. You will feel engaged, belonged and valued. 
  1. Dance. When I feel down and have no idea what to do to feel better, I always turn on my music and start dancing. Music is the best cure for everything. When you dance, you move your body and let go of all the stress, and worries and you are in the present. You do not have to be a dancer that’s the beauty of it. Just turn off your mind, feel the music and rhythm, and just be free. Loose yourself, and all the expectations and don’t care about anything else. (Well make sure you use earphones or the volume is not so high because usually, the neighbors’ music taste doesn’t match yours. I’ve tried and they weren’t happy. 🙄🤷‍♀️)
  1. Candles and coffee (or tea). When the days are darker we need as much light as possible. Light up a candle have your favourite coffee or tea and sit for a while. Feel the warmth, gratitude and, safety that a small flame can gives you. Give your soul and mind a bit of time. Buy a candle with your favourite smell. Like this, all of your five senses can be satisfied. Better if you have someone to smuggle with you while you do this lovely and relaxing “exercise”. (P.S. It can be a nice way to meditate too.😘)
  1. Journal. When you feel sad a bit because summer has just gone, grab a piece of paper and write down all the good memories. Everything and everyone why and who you are grateful for. Fill your soul and mind with warm feelings. We usually go back to the past to analyse our mistakes and blame ourselves. So why don’t we use our minds to recall happy memories? (Another good way to do this is if you don’t have pen and paper around you and need an instant mood lift if you check your photo album on your smartphone or social media.😉)
  1. Celebrate. Celebrate every small victory. Permit yourself to feel proud. Did you manage to get out of bed? Good, celebrate with a coffee. Have you done your job? Cool. Let’s eat your favourite cake. Done your morning exercise? High-five yourself. No matter what you accomplish during the day, reward yourself. Doesn’t have to be a big thing (but if you have the money you can buy the new iPhone as a reward 😉). Just make sure you let your mind know that you are super cool. (I know so many of you are on a diet and now shouting to me… hey, it can be anything, not necessary to reward with food. A smile to your reflection in the mirror with a nice affirmation, such as “You are the best, b@tch, we’ve done it!” is fine. However, BigMac with Coke is a bit more satisfying.😜)
  1. Watch a funny movie. While watching a comedy your body produces dopamine and you will feel happy and excited again. My go-to movie is Mamma Mia. Dance, Music, fun and romance together. What is your favourite happy movie? Sit down and give yourself time to enjoy it. When you feel a piece of sh@t, you just do yourself a favour and laugh. Allow yourself a bit of a smile. 
  1. Process the sadness. I know it doesn’t sound so positive and mood-lifting, but to move on is necessary to feel everything. If you just try to be happy and you forget to deal with the not-so-pleasant things, you create a resistance in your body and it will cause much more harm than good. So first sit down, feel the sh@t, cry, and let out the anger and the depression, so after that, you will have space for the good. There are many ways to release negative emotions, find yours. (I’m thinking about a full post with release techniques.🤔 Let me know if you want to hear them. 😂)

Don’t worry too much about the depressive weather and all those feelings, just let go of what no longer serves you and do something that makes you feel happy. Trust me all seasons are come and go, this one too. Very soon you will be ready to celebrate life (and Christmas😅) again. I am holding your hand and with you on this. Tom Hanks said once that the best advice he ever had was: “It shall pass!” Well guys Fall will pass soon so enjoy the good part of it, the colorful leaves, the pumpkins, the Halloween (I love that spooky night too.😅) and try to be in the present as much as you can. 

So nothing left to say other than Spice up your latte, fire up your candles and walk through Fall together because we are the SpitFires and SpitFires never left anyone behind.😘 

Oh, and please don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: Follow me here, on Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest.

Facebook: @SpiritSpitfires

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25 life lessons from the past twelve months

Hello guys,

I hope you are well and enjoying the last few days of the 2024 Summer! 😊

So yesterday was the first anniversary of my move back to Hungary and many things happened during the past 12 months. The most repeated question in my life is: Do you regret moving back from London? Well, I had ups and downs, I had to throw away many of my “Plans” and almost nothing went according to my “Master Plan”, but I have learnt a lot. I have learnt from myself, my friends, my family, my life, the life back home, people I have left in London, work, challenges, etc. So instead of telling you all the ups and downs, I just want to focus on the lessons I have learnt, so maybe you will benefit from them too. Because I think these help us grow and be better.

So here are my 25+1 life lessons from the past 12 months: 

  1. My nephew’s smile is the best cure for everything. 😇
  2. It’s worth it to be brave and go out of your nutshell and try new things.
  3. If someone wants to see you, they will find the time and opportunity. (Even if they travel around Europe!) 😉
  4. You do not need so much money to organise a kids’ party.
  5. I still look cute in my Santa hat. 🤶
  6. Time with your family and friends you cannot buy on money.
  7. I can be happy alone too.
  8. Walk 8000 steps or more and you lose 5kg under 2 months. 😉
  9. No matter how kind, good-looking, nice or helpful you are, you will always have haters. And that’s okay because it means you doing good.👠
  10. Let people judge you. You have nothing to do with their opinion. You are not equal with the things people say or think about you.
  11. Sunset is ALWAYS magical. Every day is the same and every day is different.
  12. The beach is my happy place. It calms my mind and helps me to let go of things that no longer serve me.
  13. A 70-year-old random lady can become one of the nicest friends ever.🥰
  14. You must go out, especially when you want the less.
  15. Someone will never change because they do not want to. Let them be and try to avoid contact with them or cut them out if possible. 
  16. I can’t/won’t and want to save everyone. Everyone has to take responsibility for their actions. I do not have to fix everything and everyone.
  17. If you want something, believe it, work hard for it and if it is meant for you to have it, you will. Just try never to give up.
  18. Music is the best therapy!!!!! (No more comment, that’s it!) 👨‍🎤🎸
  19. Hungary isn’t so cold during the Winter, but the snow is magical. ❄
  20. Have a healthy diet, take care of your body and shape, BUT… absolutely unacceptable and even I think it should be charged the people who don’t eat lángos, chimney cake and drink beer during the Summer, next to the Balaton!!!! That’s it! No excuse! Sorry! Seriously, who hurt you in your childhood??? 🤣😝
  21. When you are 35 years old or above, you cannot party 3 nights in a row. Nope! Trust me, I have tested this theory for you guys! 😅 (By the way, you’re welcome!😂) (If you can, you are my Hero and please message me the secret😅)
  22. Nothing will go according to “The Plan”, but be excited about what better things will come.
  23. Seeing old friends helps you close parts of your past you thought that they are closed already and warms your heart.
  24. You never know when you meet new friends. Some will stay and some will not and that’s okay. Most of our friends are only for a season and not for a lifetime. Be grateful for the time together and when/if the time has come, release them. Everyone is just a passenger in our life. 
  25. You need to be careful because people understand the language you speak. (Long, funny, but so embarrassing story, not today.)😅

+1: Be excited for the future and try not to control everything in your life. Shit will happen and it’s okay. Feel bad, be angry, cry, do whatever feels good. Stop, relax and then kick your ass (or if you are a woman, straighten your crown), Spitfire up and move forward! If you believe it much better things will come than you can ever imagine!👑

Oh, and please don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: Thank you for the pancake offers guys, you are amazing!!!!!!!! I am so grateful for your kindness! 🤣

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No husband, no kids, no pancakes aka single woman’s life in Hungary

Hello guys,

What’s up? I hope you are well and enjoying the Summer. It has been a while since I last wrote to you, but contrary to beliefs, a single woman has a life too with many tasks.

And my last sentence is the main reason I’m here. What is the connection between the pancakes and the single life? Well, trust me you will understand it very soon. Let me start with a story from a couple of months ago. So I asked my Mom to make pancakes for me. Of course, she said yes, but something always happened so I left without pancakes. (I know I can do it for myself and why am I waiting for my mother to do this for me? But trust me, it is much better if I do not even start the pancakes…anything else but this food. 😅) Later on, it seemed that the stars were aligned, and I could eat this delicious dessert…but something happened again…my mother asked my sister-in-law what she wanted to eat (because our family gathered together again) and said something else. 

Now I want to stop here for a second before any misunderstanding happens. I love my sister-in-law and I love the food she suggested, plus my mom didn’t say yes to her on purpose or because she disrespected me or she put anyone above me. Life just happened and mom forgot that she promised the pancakes to me. So you can ask what is the issue then? The “issue” was that my amazing mother told me when I confronted her that “your sister-in-law carries my next grandchild”. It makes sense and I agree, but a few months earlier my dad told me that he could not ask my brother about something (that I totally forgot and not even relevant) because my brother has his family and he has a life. I told my dad that even though I do not have a family of my own I have my life too. But he said that’s nothing, you do not have a life until you have your own family. 

And these two events made me think. So if I read this situation correctly, if you do not have a husband and kids, you do not have a life aka you have time and energy to do everything that everyone wants and your vote will count next time whenever you get at least a boyfriend next to you. Hmm. Interesting.🤔😅 It seemed that I had to get pregnant to get my pancakes.😱😅

I started to think and recognise some basic truths about how your family, friends and the people around you usually see you in Hungary (especially in the countryside) if you are 35 years old, a woman and single. First I want to clarify some things. There are two types of singles. 

  • The ones who chose to be single. They do not want family, kids or the complications that even a relationship could cause. 
  • And there is another type (just like me), life happened. They want to have a family, kids and all the other things, but Life hasn’t given it to them yet. They are not single by choice. 

And the biggest problem is that no one makes an effort to ask you which single group you are in. Most people don’t even realize that types exist. They just automatically assume that you chose to be single. This is what you want. 

When I used to live in London, no one cared. Why would they? 10-12 million people in the city, and nothing new under the sun. I wasn’t the only one who didn’t have a relationship. The age is crucial in this subject. If we lived in the Bridgerton era, I would be called a spinster… well, I am called the spinster nowadays too (totally like Bridget Jones).🤣 Anyway, in London, no one cares if you go to the Mall in your pyjamas on Sunday afternoon, so obviously they care less about your marital status?!

BUT in Hungary… different. ( I know if I lived in a big city here in Hungary would be easier too). Big city, with millions of people, so no one knows you. In Hungary, the whole country’s population is less than the number of people living in London. It means that everyone in the country knows everyone or at least some who knows someone, who knows at least one of your relevant.🙄 And we Hungarians are very judgy. We judge everything and everyone. The social expectation in the countryside is that you have to be married, have at least one kid, your house and car in your garage before the age of 30. If you are at least not married before you hit the third X and you are a woman… you better dig your grave and wait for death, because “you will die alone”. (Or at least that’s what they say.)

So here are some of the latest examples I have heard regarding my marital status from my beloved circle:

  1. “Something is wrong with you! You are too picky, you are not good enough or you are way too strong so every man just runs away from you.”- I do not even want to comment on this. 😂
  2. “We are worried because kids are the meaning of life.” I love the kids and I wish to have one, but still, I think my life has a purpose without them too. Maybe I am wrong. 🤔
  3. “There aren’t many decent guys left at your age, you cannot be picky otherwise you will never get married. (and die alone)” Again, I wish to get married one day, but I rather live alone than be in a toxic relationship just to be married and have kids, so our society accepts me. No one can make you happy, you are the one who is responsible for your happiness. Plus not everyone is that lucky to find her/his other half 10-15 years ago and live happily ever after. (At least not that much I know.)
  4. “You need a husband, a house, a kid, a dog and a car, so your life can be happy.”- No one ever asked me what makes me happy. Some people are happy alone. Some of us are just happy if we can travel instead of changing diapers.

These are just the few sentences I have to hear. Getting a boyfriend is not easy. It is not like I go to Tesco and buy one. I do not choose to be single. Life happened. I had relationships, I had my heart broken and during the pandemic, I closed myself and now I try to open up again. If you ever had a heartbreak, you know it is hard to get out and trust again. However, I try, to give everyone a possibility. I do not search for a boyfriend, husband or anything… he will come whenever it is the time. (Well, if not then I inherit everything to my nephews. 😅) I am fine as it is, to be honest. But I am sharing with you my last two experiences (just to support my claim)…since these two men, I care less about dating than ever. 

  1. He is a lovely guy, so nice and kind. However, after 2 days of talking on the phone (not even meeting), he told me that his goals are for this year to get married and have a kid. (It was in the middle of February). – I mean, I want these things but NOT TOMORROW!!!!!🤣I am not desperate. Plus this is another important thing to mention, that there is a difference between wanting a kid or a family. I do not want a kid just to have one and thick on my list… I want a family with a partner to grow together and support each other. 

Also, this guy told me, he would give his salary to his wife, but he wants her to clean, wash the dishes, cook, do the laundry, etc. But in return, he will do the “men’s jobs”.- I can cut the grass too, thank you. I am not a feminist and I want the guys to open the door for me but to share the housework (men and women work too) is basic with me. I do not wish to be anyone’s maid. 

  1. This last one wasn’t even a date or anything. The guy liked me so much and he couldn’t be more obvious even if he would try to. We met at my friend’s house and for the whole evening, he just talked about how beautiful my eyes are and how lovely my smile is, etc.- So the point is that he was cute, but he doesn’t like to take care of personal hygiene. No more explanation… I do not even want to go into this. Let your imagination work. 

So after these two I “gave up”.😅 Trust me there were more interesting stories, but a woman never gave out all her secrets. Maybe I am picky, but to me personal hygiene, nice talk about various things or not dealing with me as an object is important. I am not perfect. I have millions and millions of defaults. My teeth are not straight, I have a couple of wrinkles, I am chubby during the winter, I am also stubborn, loud, passionate and very moody, but I know my values. 

Even though it is annoying to listen to people’s judgement, I do not care. Don’t get me wrong it bothered me and I felt I was nothing and no one… I even started to feel depressed again, but I stopped and started to think and then I realized something that I always tell you guys: At the end of the day doesn’t matter what people think of you until you are happy with yourself and your life. And I am. I am not where I thought I would be at my age, but I am happy with what I have. I have plans, goals and dreams, just like everyone else. What will happen next I am not sure. I have no idea how my life will be in 5 years, but I do not let other people’s noise get into my head and destroy the good things in my life.

So being single or married, divorced or in a relationship, doesn’t matter your material status, the only thing matters the most is that how you feel about yourself and your life.

SpitFire up and enjoy this period of your life because you never know what tomorrow will bring.🤗

Oh, and please don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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Blue Ribbon Regatta

Hello Guys,

I hope you enjoy the Summer just as much as I do. I didn’t plan to write to you today, however, I had a huge realisation about life and myself this morning because of the Blue Ribbon Regatta.

The Blue Ribbon Round the Lake Balaton is an international sports event, the most prestigious and oldest in Europe. It is a round-the-lake competition. Start and end in Balatonfüred. 50 boat classes, 155+km, 48 hours and around 500 boats. One of the most amazing views is when the lake is full of sailboats. This year’s Blue Ribbon started yesterday and since I can remember, I always wanted to see with my own eyes this event. Well, yesterday I had a chance.

I was super excited and didn’t want to miss a chance to see the boats sailing near my town’s beach. Thanks to the organisers and the technology everyone could track the boats’ ways (here you can see the last ones), I constantly looked at my phone. But Life happened. The start was amazing and they were quick, but the wind stopped and only a few lucky ones made it true to the strait, the rest were stuck. So when I went to see them, I could only see a few and the sunset was what I imagined in my head (full of sails) lost in the wind. However, the view was amazing with or without 500 boats.

Today I woke up, checked the tracker and saw the news. The winner is last year’s champion, who was only the 10th during almost the entire race and on the Keszthely’s turning point this boat had a 1 hour and 48 minutes backlog from the first 3 boats, but the MLS Raiffeisen Fifty-Fifty (congratulations to the team) won again with only one minute after a 12 hours and 24 minutes race. And that made me think and realise two things.

Life is like a boat trip or even a regatta. You only need one good wind and you can do the impossible. With a bit of luck, the 2 hours backlog became nothing. What is this if not the best example of Life/God?! We start good, happy, everything is fine… then Life happens and all of a sudden, the wind stops and we are stuck and our hands are tight. We accept the facts and move forward. One step at a time or one meter at a time. Using the tiniest wind we have and hoping, praying for more. We just keep going and keeping our faith. And when we accept our situation, and the circumstances, letting go of all the expectations… the wind finally comes. If we have enough experience, knowledge, and compassion, paired with a bit of luck we can win. We get the job, the house, the money, the relationship, everything we prayed and hoped for. But we need to believe and keep our faith. You never know which day will be the day that change your life entirely.

The other thing I have realised is more personal. Since I can remember I have been obsessed with sailboats. I have no idea why, but these things amazed me. Well, of course, they are slim, elegant, proud and free. Once you go to the open water nothing is around you, so calm too. I know they are symbols of freedom and many others before me used this metaphor, but I have never really realised what this truly means to me. I heard it but never touched by it. The sailors’ knowledge without the wind is nothing and also vice-versa. You need the help of Life/God. Also in your life. If the water is smooth and calm the boat is “happy”, just like us when things are in order. But when the storm comes, there are waves and the boat needs its captain’s knowledge and power to stay stable, we need our knowledge and strengths to keep up when Life/God through the storm. We have to keep our focus when life is “hard” and wants to teach us something important. Sailboats represent everything I wish to have in my life: elegance, smoothness, focus, pride, freedom, etc.

I have never had the privilege to be a passenger nor to step foot on a deck, but I still love and adore these things. In my eyes, they are the Queens of Balaton, they are the symbols of Life and freedom for me.If you wish to see pictures of the regatta and the breathtaking sunset with them click here on The Blue Ribbon’s Facebook page.

Have fun guys, Spitfire up and don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘 Here are some pictures I managed to take.😅

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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“Dearest Gentle Reader!”

Don’t worry, I will not start and never be able to copy the one and only Lady Wistledown, but this letter is addressed directly to you. (Plus I am obsessed with The Bridgertons at the moment.🤣) However, this isn’t the cause I remained silent for this long. I had to make many decisions during the past few months, including whether I wish to continue this blog. 

This blog was born because I always wanted to write a blog and continued since I moved back to Hungary to help me keep my English. But this became an update page for the lazy people around me. Many people around me started to ask when I created an update because since I moved home they know less about me than when I lived in London, simply because I posted more while I was back there. And to be honest that’s when I realised that I became a “people pleaser” again. I forget to read and use my post about this subject. ( Well, we learn until we die, I guess. 😅)

Since I started my life at home, unconsciously I came back to my old habits and old patterns which are attached to this country and the life I lived 11 years ago before I stepped foot on British soil. Even most of the people around me think that those years have not made any marks on me or worse, they simply ignore the fact that London changed me a lot, the truth is that I am not the same 23-year-old girl who left back then. So no, I will not pretend that I am she. Some things will never change such as the fact that I will always be a village girl, who speaks too much, laughs loudly and is way too sentimental, but I grow up now. And that’s something that everyone must accept. Of course, this was my fault entirely, I let them deal with me as if nothing happened in the past few years.

I decided to write in Hungarian too because I had enough of the fact that my friends asked me to do so. But honestly, I never wanted to write in my mother tongue. I wanted to improve my English when I started. This blog as I mentioned in one of my first posts is not for you who read it, it is for me who write it. Of course, I intend to help as many people as possible via my stories, and if you make an effort to read them, may or may not you get something. 

So no, I will not write in Hungarian in the future, because if you care about what is in this, you can make a small effort and use the Google Translator. And I post when I feel I have time and energy, but not when you want me to. This site will not be an update page for all the lazy ones. I understand it is easier to read what is going on in my life instead of calling, texting, messaging or contacting me in any other form of communication. I still want to help and that is still my mission with this blog, but with my own rules. I do not wish to check the stats that how many people read what I said or constantly wait for some feedback, so I feel approved, loved and precious. My psychology studies reminded me of something. Especially Maslow’s hierarchy of needs pyramid. Maslow argued that survival needs must be satisfied before the individual can satisfy the higher needs. He said we first must satisfy the need for love and belonging or safety before we can do anything with self-actualization. Well, the only problem is that we think (most of the time we even strongly believe) that these needs can be satisfied only externally. I wanted to be loved and feel to belong so I bent my other needs and personality to fit in. And of course, the biggest lie: “ I do not want to hurt anyone.” Let me tell you something, You cannot hurt anyone and no one can hurt you, just like no one able to make you happy or loved, if you do not let them. Every level of the pyramid can and should be satisfied inside of you first and then, you can attract the external too.

I decided to live my life, write my blog and organise my time how it fits ME. If you want to be part of my journey I am so happy and you are more than welcome to read my words and hopefully get some help or at least laugh a bit about my silliness. You can write to me anytime on any platform, but I do not continue to write just for you, Dearest Gentle Reader. Those of you who are my friends or family members, I love you so much and without your support, I would be lost for sure, but if I do not post in 2 months and you want to know what is going on in my life because you care about me, please grab your “very” smart phones and drop a message, anytime. 😘

I know it wasn’t the usual Silly SpirtFiry post, but behind this screen, I am a human too. And as I always telling you: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘 

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: I hope, I will be back soon with some funny content about the Life of a Single in Hungary…trust me it matters the country and the city regarding this subject.😅 Love you all!!!

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Life

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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Positive Projects

Görgess le a magyar változat olvasásához! 😘

Hello Guys,

I hope you are having the time of your life. It feels like Summer started in Hungary. 30 degrees, sunshine, the birds are chirping and the sky is the most amazing blue you can imagine. 😊

Okay, before you start to hate me about the quick forecast, I’ll let you know why I am here today. So as I mentioned in my last posts I have a “huge project” on my plate so that was why I was off the radar. Now it turns out that I finished that project, and I have a couple more. 😅 Don’t worry hopefully these projects will benefit you too.

So I have done my B2 English exam and now I would like to start to teach or help kids in English. I attached the details below, so you can find them if you are interested. Now I started to do a pedagogical assistant course and hopefully, I’ll have my exam in November. I know, now you asking “But why should I care about these things?” and you are right. You shouldn’t unless you have a kid and need some help with English, BUT what it is about you guys is the fact that I would like to create a Facebook Group for all the SpirFires around the world where you can talk to each other and share your wisdom. Also, I am planning to create a new site here called “Positive Academy” where I would like to share some tools with you which hopefully can help to be more positive. My goal is to build a community for us. A safe place where you can communicate and together try to solve everyday issues. 

Another new thing is that I’ll do this not just in English but in Hungarian too. I never wanted to write Hungarian, but so many of my friends and family members asked for it and I feel now is the time that I start to do it. All my posts will be uploaded in Hungarian too. You can communicate in whichever language you wish in the Facebook Group too.

The daily positive quotes will be back tomorrow (that one will be kept in English. Sorry guys but way too much work to translate them to Hungarian). These will be posted on all my social media, so please follow me there too. And some things will be available only on those platforms.

Furthermore, I attached my Life coaching certificates because I wish to start practising as a Life coach. I have done those courses but I never felt enough brave to work in them. I thought who would listen to me, who would be curious about what I could offer. Now I put my big girl’s pants on and show up. My dream has always been to help people navigate their lives and I believe I can. I wish to make this site as interactive as it can be. Throughout our difficulties, we can help each other to grow. By sharing our stories we can learn. And sometimes we just need to know that we are not alone.

So I’ll do the technical base on these things and I would like to ask for help. I want you to send me a DM on social media or in the comments here (even you can send an email to spiritofspitfires@gmail.com, and I’ll try to answer within 24 hours to everyone.) and let me know what would you like to hear. Which subjects do you want me to dig in? How can I help you more? What things bother you?

Also, if you want to have individual sessions, please drop me a line anywhere and I’ll contact you and we can discuss the details. Or if you want to have group sessions and there will be enough people I am more than happy to do so. 

Please let me know if you have any questions! I hope these changes will benefit all of us. As soon as I have the “Positive Academy” section here and the Facebook Group I will let you know. I will also update you on how things are going on in my Hungarian life. 😎Be brave together and help each other.

Until that SpitFire up and enjoy the Summer because it is here for sure.🤗

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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Magyarul!!!!!

Helló Mindenki,

Remélem, jól vagytok és szuperül telnek a napjaitok. Megjött a nyár,  30 fok, napsütés, a madarak csiripelnek, és az ég a legcsodálatosabb kék, amit csak el tudtok képzelni. 😊

Oké, mielőtt meggyűlölnétek a rövid kis előrejelzés miatt, elmondom, miért vagyok ma itt. Tehát, ahogy az előző bejegyzéseimben említettem, egy “hatalmas projekten” dolgoztam, ezért nem posztoltam olyan sokat. Most kiderült, hogy befejeztem ezt a projektet, de jó pár újabb került a helyére. 😅 Pánikra semmi ok, nem csak mert ura vagyok a helyzetnek (legalább is ebben reménykedek), hanem mert ezek remélhetőleg nektek is hasznosak lesznek.

Tehát elvégeztem a B2 angol nyelvvizsgámat, és most szeretnék angolt tanítani illetve korrepetálni a gyerkőcöket. (Lent megtaláltok minden részletet ezzel kapcsolatben) Most kezdtem el egy pedagógiai asszisztens tanfolyamot, és remélhetőleg novemberben lesz a vizsgám. Tudom, most azt kérdezitek: “És minket ez hol kéne, hogy éredekljen?”, és igazatok is van. Nem kéne, hacsak nincs gyereketek akinek segítségre van szükségre lenne szüksége angoluból, DE ami a lényeg, az az a tény, hogy szeretnék létrehozni egy Facebook csoportot a világ összes SpirFire-je számára, ahol beszélgethettek és megoszthatjátok ügyes bajos dolgaitokat amikre megpróbálunk együtt megoldást találni. Azt is tervezem, hogy létrehozok egy új szekciót itt a blogon “Pozitív Akadémia” néven, ahol szeretnék megosztani veletek néhány technikát, amelyek remélhetőleg segíthetnek pozitívabbá válni. A célom az ezzel, hogy eg szuper segítőkész közösséget hozzak létre mindannyiunknak.  Egy biztonságos hely, ahol , és együtt mekommunikálhatunk és megpróbálhatjuk megoldani a mindennapi problémákat, közösen.

A másik újdonság, hogy ezt nem csak angolul, hanem magyarul is meg fogom csinálni. Soha nem akartam magyarul írni, de nagyon sok barátom és családtagom kérte, és úgy érzem, itt az ideje, hogy elkezdjem. Minden bejegyzésem magyar nyelven is feltöltésre kerül. (Kezdve ezzel. 😅) Plusz a Facebook csoportban is bármilyen nyelven kommunikálhattok.

A napi pozitív idézetek holnap visszatérnek (Ez marad angolul. Bocsi srácok, de túl sok munka lefordítani őket magyarra, újra szerkesztei a képeket, stb. Szóval Google továbbra is a barátotok marad ezen a téren.😘). Ezeket közzé fogom tenni az összes közösségi médiámon, ezért kérlek, kövess engem ott is. Néhány dolog csak ezeken a platformokon lesz elérhető.

Továbbá megtaláljátok a Life coaching bizonyítványaimat, mert szeretném magam kipróbálni ebben is. Elvégeztem ezeket a tanfolyamokat, de soha nem éreztem magam elég bátornak ahhoz, hogy dolgozzak benne. Gondoltam, ki hallgat rám, ki lesz kíváncsi arra, hogy mit tudok nyújtani. Most viszont úgy döntöttem, hogy nem hagyom a félelmeimnek, hogy megbénítsanak, szóval felkötöttem a gatyát és itt vagyok. Mindig is az volt az álmom, hogy segítsek az embereknek eligazodni az életükben, és hiszem, hogy képes vagyok rá. Szeretném ezt az oldalt a lehető leginteraktívabbá tenni. Nehézségeink közepette segíthetünk egymásnak a fejlődésben. Történeteink megosztásával tanulhatunk és néha csak az kell, hogy tudjuk nem vagyunk egyedül a problémánkkal a Nagy Világban.

Tehát én elkezdem megteremteni a technikai alapokat a felsoroltakhoz, de szeretnék segítséget kérni. Szeretném, ha küldenétek nekem üzenetet a közösségi médiában vagy az itteni megjegyzésekben(comment gomb lent) (akár e-mailt is küldhettek a  spiritofspitfires@gmail.com email címre, és megpróbálok 24 órán belül válaszolni mindenkinek.), és mondjátok el, hogy miről szeretnétek ha többet írnék. Milyen témákban szeretnétek, hogy beleássam magam? Hogyan segíthetek többet? Milyen dolgok zavarnak?

Továbbá, ha egyéni foglalkozásokat szeretnétek, légyszi, írjatok privátban, és megbeszéljük a részleteket. Vagy ha csoportos foglalkozásokat szeretnétek, hogy tartsak, és elég ember lesz, örömmel megteszem.

Kérlek benneteket, ha bármilyen kérdesetek van szóljatok nyugodtan! Remélem, hogy ezek a változások mindannyiunk javát szolgálják majd. Amint itt van a “Pozitív Akadémia” szekció és a Facebook csoport, tudatni fogom veletek. Arról is tájékoztatni foglak benneteket, hogyan zajlanak a dolgok az életemben itthon. 😎Legyünk bátrak együtt és segítsük egymást.

Addig is élvezzétek a nyarat és várom a javaslataitokat. 😘

Ó, és kérlek, ne feledd: nem kell mindig erősnek lenned ahhoz, hogy hős legyél.🤗

XOXO,

Krisz 😘

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