Category: Egyéb kategória

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Egyéb kategória This is how we do it!

Hungary vs Italy: The wedding competition – part 2😉

Hello Everyone and welcome back!

I know, I know, I am always late with the posts and I am so sorry, but I am a very busy woman (I must live my life, so I can deliver new stories, once I put my ass down and finally write them). But now I am back and as I promised, I will let you know how it was at the Italian wedding.

Before I start, I would like to dedicate this post to the couple, my dear friends and say Thank you that I can be there and you shared your happiness with me, but most importantly Thank you for being such amazing friends and part of my family. I love you to the Moon and back guys!❤

So let’s get the party started!

In Italy they will skip the coming and going part between the 2 houses, but the groom’s family and friends are gathered in his house and the bride’s side of the guest in her family house.

By the way, in Italy the groom cannot see the bride until the church doors open… trust me, I am one of the “cold hearted woman” and I do not get cry so easily, but when the doors was open and I saw my best friend as real Princess (btw she is always like a Princess and she never believe me)… well though Krisztina started to cry. It was worth everything to see her and her husband’s happiness on that day.

 As I mentioned in my previous post in Italy the couple can do the government and the church wedding in the church, so both are placed in a very nice church in Udine. The guest arrived and everyone was waiting outside until the very last moment (when the bride arrived) in front of the church. Once the bride’s car arrived (and before obviously she came out of it), everyone just went inside the church and had their seat. (My friends created a kind of booklet with the ceremony, so we could follow the ceremony. If you know Italian, but that does not matter.) Previously I told you, I understand a bit of Italian and the ceremony was really nice and the priest was such a cool and funny guy. After the ceremony ended, it was rice, bubbles, flowers, and everything you can imagine. (This is similar in Hungary too.) Everyone had a chance to take pictures with the couple  or of them. 

When the ceremony/ceremonies over the real party has started. As I said in my previous post, both countries’ weddings continue in the same way… “GO TO EAT!”🤣Well in Italy we have been in a really nice castle on the top of a hill… trust me (now you can be jealous, all of you) the view was absolutely breathtaking. I attached some pictures for you guys, but these are nothing compared to being there… If you don’t feel that finally you are alive in that place…well you will never feel it anywhere else. The hills, the nature, the whole milieu…It was such an experience.

Back to the wedding, both countries love the welcome drinks part, but in Hungary we prefer the alcoholic, especially spirits… okay, okay, I am not trying to market better, Pálinka. 😀In Italy they are more sophisticated, so different kinds of wines, lemonade (most amazing I have ever tasted in my life- sorry Mum),  and water with ice, so you can cool down a bit in the 40 degrees. (It took place on the front garden of the castle and trust me the view was absolutely “disgusting”) The couple arrived with in a very nice old timer car and that’s another different point, because they just stopped and let everyone take pictures of them or with them, while in Hungary you do it only after the wedding ceremony.

And finally we are on the food part! I know, I started to get hungry too. But in the traditional Hungarian wedding everyone sits around the tables and starts the dinner, in Italy first you have a huge buffett…I don’t even try to write you down all the food was served there and I don’t think that everyone ever described a word how delicious it was!!!!! (This kind of “dinner” started to take place in Hungarian weddings too, but as I said this kind of thing really depends on  the couple.) But seriously guys… you have no idea how much food is there!!!!! (Funniest thing that my best friend- THE WIFE- asked me how the food was and was it enough?????? Are you kidding me??? Have you seriously asked that question????😮🙄🤣) You know, what… I think the pictures will say everything… and that was only the buffet. The couple was the first to eat and when they had picked up their preferences, the rest of us started to have “something”.

After everyone finished with the buffet the couple took pictures with everyone on the top of the hill, behind a very nice view. They made sure they have pictures with all the family and friends and also some just the two of them.

When you think you are full with all the best Italian stuff and had a walk around the place, made your picture with the couple, discovered the gardens, with flower swings, gates, (yes, you read it correctly, a Flower Swing!) swimming pool, woods and everything else you can not even imagine, someone just says that the dinner is about to start…WTF???? Really?? I have just eaten a whole pig with every kind of cheese, vegetable, sausages, the most amazing bread I have ever tasted and I was much more rolled down the hill than walking, now we just “start the dinner”!!! Don’t laugh guys, it was so serious. 😅Not just a bit of food… nooooo… 5 course menu…5!!!

Well, I have attached the picture of the menu, so you can have a look at it…don’t even bother myself to write it down…no.

During the dinner, between the courses the couple walked around, played the shoe game, which I think I have mentioned in the Hungarian wedding, because that is similar and you were allowed to take pictures of yourself which ended up in a photo album as a memory for the couple. 

At this point I would like to say how lovely, nice, kind and friendly the Italian nation is. My friends created an “English table”, so me and my best friend sat at the table where everyone spoke English too and they were lovely. I have not felt for a moment that I have not belonged there. Even though it was clear that some of them have known each other for a long time, they welcomed us as they have known us for so long. It was another amazing experience to meet with those lovely people.

Once we “survived” (no, not finished, survived) the dinner, guess what was waiting for us outside in the garden????? I know you can get this.😅 YES, more food!!!!!!!!🤣 Fruits, cakes, every kind of sweets and…and…a CHOCOLATE FONDUE… I think that was the point where I just put my hands up and said: “I will die by eating, but at least in the most beautiful place I have ever been!” By the way, that was the “rest time” before the party started and 3 people brought out the Wedding Cake!!!!!🤣 I love Italian people, I do! They know how to enjoy life (or at least how to eat without dying) and I think the rest of the World should learn from them this mentality!

It was a lovely cake cutting ceremony with fireworks and Ed Sheran’s Perfect song… yes, I cried there too…and what?!😅 Pictures say it better than me, how lovely it was.

After that started the dance. Of course the couple opened it and after their dance, everyone started to enjoy the night. The bar was open, the people were happy and all went absolutely perfect. Italian weddings do not continue until the morning and I was really happy about it, because it was a long day before (that’s another story), but in the meantime I wish I could be there forever…in that place, with those people and just feel the happiness that was there… to see and feel the pure love, gratitude, joy and all the positive energy in the World. 

Before we left my friends surprised us with the “Thank you gift”, which was a bottle of the local wine which was made for that castle specifically and a bit of local sweets, but the surprise wasn’t those things… I knew from the beginning that they are lovely people and I will do anything to keep them as friends forever…but they have even thought about our families and sent them gifts too.

Well it was one of the most amazing weddings I have ever been to and not only because of the fact that it was in one of the most beautiful places, not because it was in Italy, which is one of my favorite places on Earth…nooo… because I saw my friend’s happiness. I love you guys so much and I wish you all the best. I wish all your dreams will come true and be as happy as you have been on that day for the rest of your life.💞

XOXO,

Krisz💞

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Egyéb kategória This is how we do it!

Hungary vs Italy: The wedding competition – part 1😉

Traditional Hungarian wedding

Hello,hello

As I mentioned a long time ago, I want to make a site where I will see the differences between nations, cultures, traditions, foods and so many other things based on my discovery. I am so excited about these “projects”, because I really love to talk to people. As you know I live in London, which is a beautiful cultural mass, so I am in the best place to do it.☺️ I hope you will enjoy reading these, just as much as I enjoyed writing them.

I am so lucky that one of my best friends is Italian and her (now) husband too. So when they invited me to attend their wedding, I felt so excited and so honored. Especially because they are one of the best couples I have ever met. Their love story and how they live their life is so inspiring.
So what’s the difference between an Italian and a Hungarian wedding? Well I have no idea where I start the list.😅 (Here I want to make a note that I love weddings and doesn’t matter where they take place, I just generally love them, so both nation’s weddings are incredibly and of course these are just general differences,due to a wedding is always based on the couple’s style.)
Let’s start with my nation’s, The “Traditional ” Hungarian wedding. The wedding starts with the groom going to the bridge’s house with all the invited people and asking the bride from her father. Live band escorts him to the house and the bride’s family offers small cakes or pastries with some drinks (of course alcohol) to the people who came to the house to see the “ceremony”. Some couples hire a ceremony master, some use the maid of honors, it really depends on the couple. (This is an old tradition, nowadays this part often will be skipped.) After that the whole crew must go to the groom’s house and ask the groom from his mother. (Again cakes, drinks, music, fun and some couples skip this part too.)
Once they have both been asked out from their parents, everyone goes to the church or the local council, it is absolutely up to the couple which will be the first place or nowdays the church wedding is not really a part of the weddings, due to not that much place in the World accepting the marriage which was only blessed by the church and not by the government. But if the couple decides to go to have both, they usually go to the church first. And that part is similiral in Italy, only they can do both the government and the church wedding in the church. Okay at this point I would like to make a note that I do not speak Italian, but I can understand a lot, so based on my “piccolo” Italian, the ceremony is quite the same, unless in Italy some guests say speeches about the couple, while in Hungary we are not allowed to do that. Shoulders must be covered in both countries in the church and that’s okay. (Another quick note that it was a christian catholic wedding- and I am christian too.)

After the ceremony in Hungary there is some rice, flowers, bubbles and whatever you want. Also there is the part where the guest is allowed to make “official” pictures with the couple, due to after the ceremony the couple usually goes to their chosen “photography place” where the official wedding pictures will be made. These pictures will be sent to the guests who were there, family members, to take as memories and the couple usually ask for an album for themselves as well.
While the couple is busy being photographed…Both countries’ weddings continue in the same way… “GO TO EAT!”🤣And trust me if I say both nation are really obsessed with the food part. The entire World knows that Italians are so into food and fashion… well Hungarian too. So you end up at the party place. It can be anywhere… restaurants, bars, cafes, fields, tents, castles, etc… anywhere where the couple like to have their wedding. This really depends on the couple, the number of attendees, the food, the type of the party or the theme of the wedding.
Once you arrive at the party place the first thing is…yes, you are right, drinks. 😅 It could be spirit, champagne, wine,etc. The most important thing is that you have to have your welcome drink.
The Continuation of the day is a bit different in each wedding, because in places you just sit down and be ready for the dinner or some couple choose to do their first dance before the meal is served or starts with some wedding games. The tradition is that the people have some cakes, talk a bit, drink a bit and once the couple arrives the dinner starts. Usually there is a siting plan, due to next to your name will be the wedding favours gift. The traditional Hungarian wedding menu includes chicken soup, which is always the start served with the vegetable and the chicken itself. Then comes the fried,baked and cooked meats/ vegetables (mostly pork, chicken and/or beef; fried mushrooms, cheese, cauliflower, etc.) with mashed potatoes, chips, rice, fresh salads, sauces, pickled onions and girkin, etc. The end comes the cakes … lots of different kinds of cakes. The menu is massive, but it is necessary otherwise you cannot drink… which is a very important part of the wedding. During the dinner, between two courses we do wedding games (it is kind of similar in Italy and the games too). The groom should take the bride’s garter with his teeth…or the quiz game where they have each other’s shoes and have to pull up the right shoe to answer the questions…the story telling game, where they involve the guests too. The ceremony master starts to tell a fairytale and each person has their own character. When you hear your character in the story you have to stand up…if you miss it or you stand up at the wrong time …well, you must drink.
After the dinner the couple danced their first dance (same in Italy) and the party officially started. The traditional music is the traditional Hungarian gypsy music from a band, but it can be a DJ too who plays the popular ’80 and ’90 songs.

A bit later the couple cut the wedding cake and the party continued with dance and drink, drink and dance until midnight… midnight they start to serve the traditional Hungarian stuffed cabbage, which is actually meatballs with cabbage…one of my favourite part of the weddings.😅 And in the meantime the couple goes and change their dresses from white to red, the symbol of that the bride is now officially a wife and a groom became a husband. Once this happens it will start the New wife dance… So traditionally the wife has to dance with all the male guests and the new husband dances with the female guest. Before the guests start their own dance with the couple they have to “pay” for this dance (the couple’s parents have a huge pot and the guests put their wedding gift- usually an envelope with money- into the pot). When everyone finished with them and paid for their dance it started another funny game. The New wife has a broom and the new husband has a dustpan. The guest throws the coins into the floor and they have to collect it all in a bucket, but the guest always continues to throw the bucket to the floor. Once all the coins are in it, the party counts until dawn. Usually the Hungarian weddings finish somewhere between 4am and 6am.
Every Hungarian has a little bit of Spitfire in them, especially if it is about a wedding 😅
Huh, I didn’t realize until I finished with how long this post is, so I will let you know about the Italian wedding in my next post which will be published very soon, I promise, so please check my Instagram, Facebook or just like the blog below the post so you will not miss anything.😘

Love all of you and I hope, I will have you all here tomorrow to see the Italians.😘

XOXO,

Krisz

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Egyéb kategória Story of My Life

The Preparation

Hello Everyone!

As I promised, I am back to tell you why a 23 years old girl decided to leave all her life, family, friends and everything she has known and went to London. I do apologize that it took way too long to write this, but I was in Hungary and Italy and I will let you know about that time too.

In my last post I told you, I had a nice life and I was really happy, but I felt that I needed more. I cannot really explain the feeling, but I felt that I must go. It was one of the strongest instincts I have ever got in my life. I was always a “dreamer” and I still am. Always wanted to see the World, discover all the miracles and meet new people. (Later on I will bring you some stories about other people’s lives too.)But now, let me tell you how for the first time in my life (at least this is the first I remember) I was attracted to things and joined the “law of attraction”…and how it all actually started.

It was in the middle of November and I will remember until I die, that the sun was shining and my boss asked me into his office. I have never imagined that this meeting will change my whole life. 😊 (Just a bit of explanation to understand better, but in 2013, in Hungary the whole government system was changed and they started the preparation in 2012 last quarter.) He told me that I will have to start in January a training course, the office will pay for it, but it means I cannot leave the office for XY years (do apologize guys, but I have no idea how much was it😅) or if I want to leave earlier, I have to pay back the training’s cost… and that was the moment what hit me so hard. I told him that okay, and I will do it, but I felt I would collapse.

I went outside to the fresh air and started to think. I was 23 years old and I never had money to travel, see the World…not even to move together with my (ex)boyfriend. My parents always gave us everything they could (and even more), but they weren’t allowed to give those things and I never wanted them to support my “hobbies” or my life, because they have done it for so long. They raised me and my brother wonderfully. 

The salary was nothing actually… So I had to do something else (and that’s what I really felt). I will die in the same village where I was born, I will live with my parents until I will get a mortgage which I will never be able to pay back and the farest place I have ever been will be Budapest.

So I called my (ex) boyfriend and told him that I will move to London in January.😅 I explained to him everything and he said okay. (Why London? Because God bless my German teachers during the 12 years they tried to teach me Dutch, but I still cannot say a word.😅 I have never liked that language and I don’t really know why. So I thought I speak English- well very quickly I had to realize that I don’t- and another reason was that jobs are in London, so that’s why.) I went back to the office and told my Boss that I will give my notice on the last day of November and I will move to London. He was so understandable and supportive about this.

But still we had no savings, no money and both of us had debts. And here comes the law of attraction… I had no idea how I would manage financially to come to London, but I knew I would do it, no matter what. I had only one high school classmate here and he helped us to do the CVs, but we had no idea where we would sleep or what we would do there. We wanted to get a job from Hungary to London, but the World doesn’t work like this. You physically have to go to interviews and no one gives you a job just because you look cute (even if I do). So we had no idea about anything, but we were sure we were coming on the 9th January 2013. (Why that day? Well, we closed our eyes and pointed to a date on the calendar, checked the tickets, the prices were okay, so we kept the date) 

Miracles just started to happen about the money. We got bonuses, unpaid projects had been paid, family helped as much as they could…so in the end we just had a bit of money which was okay until we found our first job. (That’s another story!) Everyone was so supportive, helpful and of course worried about us. (We were worried too, but of course I can only admit this now. 🤣) 

2 weeks before our flight we went to Budapest to an agency, which promised some job in England (no, not in London, somewhere up North in a  village), so we went there, but we had to realize that he wants so much money and no one would wait us in the airport, we supposed to buy new tickets to another airport, etc. So we left the office, stand in the middle of Budapest (it was my 3rd time in the capital) and we had no idea where we would sleep or what we would do after we arrived in London. Now it is so funny how God (Universe, Life, etc) helped us. My friend just checked his phone, because we heard an interview a couple of days before with the most popular Hungarian Lettings Agencies owner, and their HUngarian office was only a couple of minutes walk from us in Budapest, so we went there.They were very nice and we were about to rent a room and in the contract they have guaranteed a driver who will pick up us in the airport. 

That’s how and why in London. Never give up and just have faith. So many years later I have realized that we actually just attracted everything for us. Only with our faith and positive attitude. We do not always need to know everything or control the things around us. Sometimes it is enough if you just truly know what is the end, what you really want and let the life flows… and of course need a bit of sparkle from your (Spit)fire.😘

With lots of Love:

Krisz (Spitfire)

P.S.: In the last 2 weeks I was lucky enough to collect lots of so many stories of interesting people’s life and some experiences (including a lovely Italian wedding), which I will share with you. (I try to write more often, I promise, I will try!🤣) Very soon the daily quotes will be back too, so follow @spiritofspitfire on Instagram, Facebook or Like the blog, so you will not miss anything.

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Egyéb kategória Story of My Life

The Beginning

Hello Guys,

I am Kris (Krisztina and most of you know me) and I am from Hungary. Before I start to tell you about London, I think it is important to tell you about where I come from.
Once upon a time… yes, a princess was born in South Hungary, in a really small town. (I know, absolutely typical and nothing really interesting 🤷‍♀️)On the day when I was born my parents bought a plot in a small village, where they started to build our family home. When I was 2,5 finally the house was ready to move in and my very first memory is that my parents let me choose my room.
I had an amazing childhood and I am so grateful for everything I have got from my family. My parents were never rich people, but they gave me and my brother everything they could and even sometimes more. Yes, I have a “little” brother who is 4.5 yeras younger than me and I am so happy that I have a sibling (at least , now I am happy about him.😉). Of course, we have had difficulties when we were kids, but this is absolutely normal. Who doesn’t have fights with her/his siblings, seriously?
I was lucky enough to know all my grandparents and we had really strong connections with all of them. Funny to see how my pride (and many other qualities) came from my dad’s mother and my way too big mouth (and many others) came from my mom’s mother.I am a really good mix of them.
My village is small, around 1000 people live in it, but it was a wonderful place to grow up. I used to go to the Kindergarten and Primary school too in this village. I had great teachers and so many friends. I am lucky to have a lot of good memories from my childhood. My parents and my family loved me, I have got lots of love from friends, teachers, people and still I have when I am going home, from time to time.
Obviously ,later on I went to High School, which was in a small town, not so far from my village and those were the best years of my life. The college and all the people there shaped me and helped me to become a young adult. Lovely atmosphere in a beautiful place, next to one of the biggest rivers in Hungary, so many parties, friends, first loves, first break ups (well, a Princess need a real Prince and cannot kiss all the frogs), smiles, and lovely teachers who always tried to guide us, but also leave us to find our own ways. I will always be grateful for those years and those people.
Since I remember, I was always hyperactive and I had that feeling that I have to do something, not just be and live the life like others. I always wanted to create, help, be there for others.
So after High School I have got one of the biggest opportunities in my life, because my village’s notary gave me the chance to become a part of that amazing team. I was only 19 years old when I started there and I was almost 23 when I left. He and the team teach me a lot and I have got a second family. I also can thank him for being one of my best friends too. Lots of nice times, laughs, happiness, also like in every “family” were hard days too, but we took care of each other and I loved to work there. I will always be grateful for those years. From him came one of my favorite quote too (he gave me on the day I left them to go to London):

“The longest journey begins with a single step.”

So why did I leave? Why have I decided to move to London and leave all my life behind? Why does someone just pack and leave?
Well, I think this will be another day’s story, but I promise I will continue. I hope you will be with me. 😉

Love you all. 😘

Kris
P.S.: To my readers from other countries, Budapest is a lovely place and a must to see, but if you have a chance, come a bit south and you can see so many nice places too. (Lake Balaton, Pécs, Szigetvár, Barcs, Kaposvár etc.- these are “my area”, but you can find other lovely places in Hungary, trust me. 😉)

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Blog Egyéb kategória

Who am I?

Hello Guys,

I know, I know, I didn’t write a word almost a month ago…I promise, as soon as I can, I will kick my own butt. Due to I assigned May to “Confidence”, I wanted to talk about my confidence (or sometimes, when I don’t have), how I lost it and how I built it up so many times…but something came in my mind that I couldn’t let it go and I think first we need to clear the air about this question. Once we know who we are, we can build up our confidence, opposite this will never work. But seriously, is this the right question or is it something else that we are searching for?

I had a lot of conversations about this with my friends and family. It seems that nowadays everyone wants to “find themself”. We are just searching for something that is actually US. 

Who am I? So many times we feel we are lost and have know idea who we are and what we really want in our life. And that’s okay. Noone need to punish themselves about this. This is a normal outcome of growing. We can grow by the changes and never by the routine. During those changes our personality changes a lot (even if we don’t want to or don’t even recognize that.)

In my opinion we are not just one “thing”. If you ask people who they are, mostly they will tell you their jobs. “ I am a doctor”- “I am a banker”-” I am a hairdresser”- “I am…” Really? Are we really our jobs? Or do we “do” something for the living? Do you see the difference?😉

Or when you ask a mother- “I am a mother.” Yes, you are…but you are not just a mother. She is also a daughter, a sister, a wife, a girlfriend, a friend, etc. Or obviously if it is a man, he can be a father, a brother, a friend, also he has a job, so he can be a banker, fisher, etc.

My favorite one is when actually the answer is based on our mood…”I am angry”- “I am mad”- “I am upset”- Seriously? Are you? Is this who you are? Or is this what you feel at the moment? And this is very important and very dangerous guys, because words have power…what you feel,who you say you are today will be the one tomorrow. Don’t get me wrong,when we say and feel “I am happy”-“I am amazing”- “I am excited”… These are all good “to be”s, and we should use these phrases so much more, but be careful with the negative pair of them.

I don’t know how you work guys, but usually “I am” at least 6 different people each day (and that was an easy day). My point is that this is one of the most complicated questions ever. The answer: It depends on the mood, the job, the place where you live, the people around you, the environment, ethnicity, etc. I am stubborn, moody, complicated,hysteria, a fighter,a woman, a sister, a friend. I am also clever, nice,kind, pretty, sexy, bitchy, lost, smooth, even the worst days I can be a dragon (dracharys) and able to burn it down everything around me.😅

Based on the conversations with people around me and on my own “searching myself journey” here is what I found out: the most important question is not “Who I am?” The most important is “Who I want to become?” My mentor and mostly my friend ( drop me a message if you want her contact, because she is a magician and helped me a lot everytime when  I had difficulties in my life) helped me a lot with this question and let me realize this.

I’m sure all of you heard this so many times, but it is so true: “who you think you are today, will be the person tomorrow.” So my conclusion is that we do not need to find ourselves. We are who we are and we are all what we think we are. Most importantly we should be happy, in harmony, accept the worst sides of us, because those are us too and find who we want to be. Once you find the answer for this question, you can work to become that person. 

How do you do that? How do you find the person you want to be? Just ask yourself everyday, every time until you find the answer. (Or at least that’s how I do.) And trust me, during your journey, your life this answer will always change and that’s fine too.

No matter what you should know that you are perfect (even when you are a dragon). 😉 You deserve to be loved and if someone says otherwise, just say: Dracharys! 😉

I love you all♥️

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire 😘

P.s.: If you have any questions or just want to see the daily quotes easier, please follow my Instagram or Facebook page. I plan to change the blog look and the quotes,but I will update you guys on time.😘

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Egyéb kategória

“Never let…”

😘

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Confidence and fortitude

😘

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Preparation

😘

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Blog Egyéb kategória

Gratitude and happiness

Hello Lovelies,

Yes, you are right, I am much happier than ever. 😁 (Okay that’s just a joke, because nowadays I am quite happy every day.) As you know, (because I told you in the past posts) I have started to do a “course” with the Transformation Academy (no, I am not promoting them or it is not a commercial, I just really love their courses) which is called the 21 Day Happiness Challenge. It is amazing. 😊 I cannot tell you everything, but I have done a bit of a summary for you. The course was made to break 3 parts. 

The first part is called “Happiness routine”. Each day you will add another activity to your happiness daily routine, so at the end of the week, you will have a 7 points Happiness routine list which you can practice everyday.

The Routine:

  1. Gratitude
  2. Music
  3. Self-Love
  4. Physiology
  5. Happy Anchor
  6. Incantation (affirmation)
  7. Meditation

Well, as I said I am not allowed to talk about them so much, so I will not explain each of them properly, but I am sure that you can figure it out, which activity means what. (I really recommend the challenge with the Academy, because they are super nice and all is fun.)

What I can talk about and I want to talk about is gratitude from my perspective. Why the gratitude? What does it even mean? Why is it so important? How can we practice? Why does it work sometimes and why not the other times? Do I need to be grateful everyday and all day? Is it even possible? 

Let’s start at the beginning as we usually do (then I will talk too much, losing the subject and in the end I will be somewhere else- I know.:) – but I also know that that’s why you love me. 😜). So why the gratitude? We are human beings (yes, even me) and we have feelings, plans (that’s definitely me), dreams and wishes. And that’s okay. What is not okay, that we do not wish for something more and appreciate what we already have or achieved…Noooo…we want things (not even wish) and in the meantime we do not care about what we have. ( I made the same mistake so many times in my life, and paid a huge price for it.) I know and I understand that maybe the job is sh@t, or your boss is a Khmm yes, what you think he/she is… and your boyfriend doesn’t even listen to you, or the neighbor is so loud and annoying, or your parents/teachers want way too much from you, or the house where you live is a disaster…etc. The list is long and we all know that nothing is always perfect, so if you look at your life a bit, I am sure you can find something to complain about. And that’s the point where we all make mistakes.

Wish for more, that’s absolutely perfect. Work for it. But NEVER, ever complain about what you have. I don’t say that because in Africa the children are hungry, so you do not eat. That’s stupid. Or I do not say, if your neighbor is loud, just sit and wait for some miracle. That’s also stupid. What I say, that instead of complaining about what you do not have or have but not how you want it, just sit down sometimes and see what you can like/love about your current situation. Maybe your boyfriend doesn’t listen always, but you are with him, because of some reason (that’s just you know why). Instead of complaining, leave him  if it cannot be solved the problem (yes, if he hits you, or gives you drugs, etc.), or just sit down and think about how someone may want a family and kids, but she/he doesn’t even have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Or you complain about your job, but you are there because you loved once. You get your salary from there. So just send your CV, and in the meantime, find what you loved in it at the first time and when you have a better opportunity, just quit. Simply and less stress.

Until you cannot find good things in your life, you can never be happy. Even on the worst day you can find something…like the sun is shining, you have a home, you have family, friends, you have a job, you can eat, you have clothes to wear, etc. After I wake up every single day I write at least 10 things why I am happy/grateful from the day before. It could be small, it could be big things (or things are big for me), but I do this. I think this is a very nice exercise, because you can “live it again” yesterday, and feel gratitude straight after you wake up. And try to keep it for the rest of the day. I have read in so many books that how you feel the first 20 minutes of your day, will define your day. 

BUT…and here is the trap… it is not enough just to write everyday why are you grateful, you must feel it. Of course if you write something so many times, the feeling will come, but if you don’t feel gratitude the whole listing, journaling, meditating, etc is just a bullsh@t. The feeling is the key.  Also if you write every morning why are you grateful, but the rest of the day you are just complaining about your life…well why are you exactly waiting for the miracle? I know how important it is, because I made those mistakes.

I had a super job, but I wanted to change. I wanted to do something different. Instead I just wished for the new job and was happy, because I already had a job, so I could pay my bills, I could fly home to visit my family, I had nice colleagues, etc. Noooo, what have I done? Yep, I started to complain. I have complained about my colleagues, my commute, about everything, whatever you can imagine. Nothing was good. I got a new job soon and it was worse than the previous.

Do you think I have learnt from this? Of course not. I made the same mistake with my house. I lived in a nice house, which wasn’t perfect, but it was nice, in a nice area and I used to live with nice people. I have done nothing just complaining about it and soon I had to move and guess what happened? Yes, again, I had a house where mice were running around, it was noisy and it always smelled like the KFC on the corner. 

What I want to say, that it is normal if you want something better, but you cannot get better things until you cannot truly feel appreciation for what you already have. It’s not enough to just write the things every day, you must feel it. Also very important that if you make “mistakes”, do not punish yourself. Sit down and try to find what you can learn from it.

I have a person in my life who is really nice to me and he said something yesterday which is so true and I think everyone should consider it: “Whatever condition or place you find yourself in life, always give thanks to God.” (Universe/Life/Mother Earth- however you call it) Just think about it. 😊

So be happy and grateful for your life everyday, even if it seems you are sitting in the middle of the storm, because after the storm will come the rainbow.

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire😘

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Forgiveness

I know, I promised that I will share with you my Happiness Challenge experiences and I will. Actually Forgiveness is a part of the challenge, a bit later, but I thought this is one of the most important. 

Why? Well, you can do a Happiness Routine and all the practices and they will help, but if you do have negative feelings for someone (or even worse for yourself), how can you be happy and positive? You see? You can’t. Or at least not permanently. (Again that’s just my opinion and based on my experience.) When you have negative feelings about something or someone, you cannot be positive. When you are negative means that you do not have love or any kind of positive energy in your body, so your vibe is not the highest ever. Happiness is a positive and very high level of energy, so you must forgive and let go of the things that you do not desire in your life.

Let’s just clear the air first. What does it mean to forgive? So many people (including me in the past) think about forgiveness like a ritual and they also think you have to go there and say it out loud to the people who make you angry, upset, mean, etc. That’s not really true. You can do that for sure, but forgiveness is much more for your own health and nothing to do with the other person or the situation. There are so many techniques that can help you to forgive( I will give you some ideas), but it doesn’t matter which one you use, if it is not coming from your heart. To forgive someone is just a decision. You choose to let go of the bad/negative/unsatisfied feelings and open the next chapter in your life (with or without the person or situation).

Also forgiveness is not equal to forgetting.Forgive someone does not mean that you have to forget everything and let them behave like nothing happened. Actually the opposite. You should remember, even if it hurts you, because if you do not learn the lesson, it will happen again. I believe that everything and everyone enters our life for a reason. Someone comes to give you positive feelings, someone teaches you something, someone stays “forever”, someone just a “traveler” when finished with their “job” they let you go without them. And it’s good like this. Forgiving is creating your own boundaries. 

“Forgiveness is not for the other person. Forgiveness is a gift for yourself.”

Elizabeth Lombardo

I have learnt another lesson about forgiveness. When you do it, you should check the “mirror”. What does that mean? Well, you forgive something that created a bad feeling in yourself. You are never forgiven for positive/good things. The most important question (and actually this is the “mirror”) is why those things bothered you? Why did you feel bad about what other people have done to you? 

I know it sounds stupid and not make any sense at the first time, but you should check why d you hurting yourself and with what. (Okay, now I hear that everyone says: “she is an idiot”; “why should I hurt myself?”; “This is crazy”; etc.- trust me, I have asked the same questions when I first heard about this theory. Just think about it.) We have thousands of thoughts every hour and day. And trust me you cannot control all of them (nope, even not me, who is a very control freak woman. 🙂 ) You do it unconsciously and that’s okay. That’s not a problem and you do not have to check all your thoughts (you will never be able to do that). I just say, that when you sit down to forgive something, think about the fact that may you created this situation, because may you do not trust enough, not love enough yourself, may you punishing yourself about something (what happened in the past).

When you have to forget someone it means you are disappointed. That means you expected something and it did not happen or not on the way you wanted. You can avoid disappointment if you do not expect anything from anyone and if something good happens then you will be happy, if not…well, it would be good like that. (To be honest, if someone knows how NOT to expect anything, please write me, because that something I still cannot do. 🙂 )

So as I said I have a couple of techniques that I use to forgive.

  1. “Writing and burning”- basically I write all my harms on a paper (or you can do it separately, each harm on each paper). Read them out loud and then burn the paper and feel all your anger just gone. (Do not do it when it’s windy or inside your house (not even in someone else’s house, whose you are angry) and make sure you think about all necessary security measures. – At least a glass of water next to you!!!!)
  2. “Eraser”- also, I just write down everything that I wish to forgive with a pencil and instead of burning the paper, I use the eraser and see all my anger gone.
  3. “Meditation”- That sounds very difficult, but it is simple. Just close my eyes, think about the person, think about the situation and the feeling that I felt. When I have got everything, I just simply imagine that the person is in front of me and I say “I forgive you.”

So I will be back with all the experiences from the 21 days Happiness Challenge. BUT until then, you can follow me on Facebook, Instagram or even here and you can get a bit of Happiness from me via my favorite happiness quotes.

Have a super happy (and forgiving) day Spitfires! 😉

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire