Tag: balance

Hello everyone,

I hope you are relaxing and starting to be excited about Christmas (ps.: I still love all Griches too, no discriminations here).

I have a lot going on in my life nowadays and I just started to wonder why I do all my relaxing stuff and still, sometimes I feel down and a bit sad. (Nothing wrong with it, because no one is always happy and all over the moon, but still I didn’t understand what is happening.) This time of the year is my favorite. The preparation for Christmas, the lights, the smells, the decorations, the waiting time, the activities and London looks like a big Wonder Land. So I started to feel weird, why I was not happy and excited as usual… and then it hit me on my face. Expectations.

I had a look around me and inside me and then I realized we all expect something from everyone and everything. All our life is about expectations. 

The saying is true: nothing is for free. Even for love, we expect to return some love and if we do not get it we seek it and beg for it (that’s another story). We expect our parents to love us, and our friends to check on us sometimes. We want our colleagues and bosses to appreciate our work, also we wish the cashier will be nice in the shop, and the product we bought will be perfect for the price we paid for it. We have expectations from women and men as a society. We expect leaders to look and behave in a certain way. We want our favorite movie star to be always perfect and act kind. We wait for our partner to remember our birthdays, anniversaries, and all occasions.  And the list just goes on and on. We are fighting and argue with each other because we wish people around us to be how we imagine them they should be. The worst is about expectations that we think we should get some reward for the effort we make to be someone who we think we should be to get the reward.

Don’t get me wrong, I am one of the luckiest people ever, because I have got lots of love and appreciation in my life, but still I am not an exception. 

So I started to list what I am expecting and most importantly from who. Yes, there are lots of people I interact with on a daily basis, so I had to let go of what and how I wish them to deal with me. People are different and that makes life wonderful. What made me surprise the most that I have so strong imagination for how people should act who are my closest ones. If someone knows me, know that I do not trust that many people, but if I do, I would do everything (literally everything) for, and to them. So that’s why surprised me when I felt a certain way for the people I love. I had to accept that even my loved ones are not perfect and they have every right to live their life as it is the best for them. Even my parents, my friends, and my family. Everyone has the right to choose what is best for them.

The other hit on my face was an even bigger slap. I am not just expecting people, products, and situations to be in a certain way… I have the biggest expectations about myself. Even when I feel down, my first thought was that why I do not feel a certain way, my feelings shouldn’t be like this. Should or shouldn’t. I never liked these two words because I felt the pressure that people want me to be someone who I am not, and I am not enough good. And yet, after 33 years I realized that actually, I am the one who built up those expectations. No one wants me to be perfect, on top all the time, happy, or million other things. 

What I realized is that because of our expectations and the way we see our life “should be” make us unhappy and do not realize the good things around us. Do not need to be big things…or actually, everything is a big thing that makes us happy, grateful, lucky, loved, etc. I don’t say that we cannot do our best, we must try to do it, but be aware of our limitations. It is totally fine not to be happy or feel a bit sad about things. 

Perfect doesn’t exist guys. Perfect for me exist, but perfect me?! Never. We all are human and like this, we are imperfectly perfect. All of us. Just the way we are. I believe that we are always at the right time, in the right place with the right people. May we not agree and cannot see it yet, but at the moment it is the best and it is how it “should be”. Don’t get me wrong, I still learning to let go of my expectations and just simply be happy with what I have gotten every day from life, from the people around me.

One last thought before I leave you to just relax, as it is still November (yes, even if it is the last evening of it). Letting go of your expectations does not mean you have to let go of your wishes. Just simply communicate with the people around you. Nothing wrong with it if you tell people what you want or how you want them to deal with you. No one is a mind reader, so you must tell people what is good for you (of course in a nice way), what makes you feel appreciated, loved, and not taken for granted.

I heard a very true saying from one of my kindest friends: “Be the most selfish person ever and do not let go a little from it, but make sure you do not hurt anyone around you! This calls balance!”

I wish you a really nice evening and time to prepare for the holidays. I am back soon with some Christmas traditions cheer up!!!! 😃

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: For the daily quotes, please find the Spitfires on Facebook and or Instagram.