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Change your perspective

Hello Guys,

I hope you are having fun and starting to feel the Christmas spirit. Okay, I know, maybe some of you are not that much of a fan of the holidays. (Doesn’t matter I still love you all Grinches.😝) Advent season is my favourite, but staying alone under the mistletoe does not make me happy either…until now. Not because I finally kissed the right frog and became a prince…no. 😅 But something happened and changed my perspective. And that’s what I want to talk about—changing perspective.

Usually, I go to sleep quite early, but a couple of days ago I couldn’t fall asleep. So I started to dumb scroll my social media and found a video that made me think and changed my view of everything, especially my relationship status. I know, it’s a shame on me that I did not save the video or even remember the guy’s profile, but he said that every time he feels blue because he is single, he starts to imagine that what if next year this time he will be in a relationship and he will have a fight with the love of his life and he just wishes to be single again. So basically he said that he enjoys every minute of his single life because you never know when The One comes and maybe he wants to have back his life alone. Bumm!!! Hit me in the face! I have never thought about my life like this. He has done nothing just shifted the focus. 

So I started to think. I love the holidays, the decorations, the Christmas markets, the lights, smells, foods, songs (especially the songs😅), buying gifts and all the advent vibe. BUT! As a single person when Christmas Eve came and I stood alone in the mistletoe, I felt so lonely and disappointed. Even if I was with my amazing family and friends, I felt that something was wrong with me. Of course, I knew that I was fine and this was just a period of my life. Usually, when this emotion hits I start to tell myself The List (all the things only a single can do) and it helps, but this video hit me so hard. Because I thought I was positive and handled this whole “magical love is all around” thing well, but I just used toxic positivity and covered my emotions with my little list. Plus I haven’t enjoyed the last couple of Christmases as much as I could because I was too focused on the fact that I’m “alone”. I couldn’t appreciate the fact that how much I wasn’t alone. The fact that how lucky I was and I am because I have a wonderful family, both my parents are alive and healthy, and I have the best nephews ever, plus year by year I have more people I can call friends. My head was in my ass and that video finally pulled it out. I talk about gratitude here, but I wasn’t grateful at all. But that’s okay. I’ll not punish myself because I’m only a human…I’m not perfect, but I’m truly grateful that I realised these things before it’s too late. 

Don’t get me wrong, I still wish to have someone in my life who I can call my own but from now on I enjoy the advent even if I am alone because I never know when that prince finally find his white horse and rides to me. It’s good to have someone but as a single woman I do not have to play puzzle with the time and make sure that we visit his family and mine too. Plus you guys know exactly how this works…the day is good for you it’s not good for your brother’s family and the dates that are good for his family are not good for yours, and all the parents want the same date and everything is just like a business schedule. 😅🙄Not to mention the struggle with the gifts and the cooking/baking procedure. Instead, of all these hustles I go to my parent’s house before Christmas and I’ll only move from my favourite armchair when I have to eat… probably I’ll even sleep in it. 🤷‍♀️🤣 I do not have to go outside in the cold and visit anyone else. No expectations.

Everything has a bright side. So many times we don’t see it or don’t want to see it. Not always easy to find the light in the dark, I know, but there is. Always. I don’t talk about the fake positivity. If something is sucks, it’s sucks. We have to feel it but after we give it out we should change our perspectives otherwise life will just go by and in the end, we have no idea how we end up there where we will be. So many times we think we have time, but after all those years I just realised what it means that we only have the present. 

Christmas is just one thing where you can use his method. And this is not just for singles. Think about it. For example, if you really wish to have a kid, but somehow doesn’t happen instead of you becoming depressed and anxious, you can shift your focus. Like my best friend did. (P.S. She is one of the strongest women on Earth!🥰) She used the same technique without knowing she did. Now she enjoys the time with her husband and appreciates every moment. They travel a lot because they never know when the kid comes and obviously after that, they will not be able to go for a long weekend just for the 2 of them. Was it easy for her? Hell No! But it was worth it because she is glowing now. They don’t give up on the kid, but until the little angel arrives they enjoy life as it is.

Another example is if you want to change your job or find one, instead of crying and complaining, just shift your perspective. Send your CVs and cover letters but in the meantime enjoy the fact that you do not have to wake up early or dress up. You can go for a walk whenever you want or stay home and read a book. Try to enjoy these things while you search for a “perfect job” because very soon you have to go to work and maybe you will not be this free for years.

Don’t get me wrong I talked about this here in the blog but in a different view and I thought I used the focus shift and I did but never about my relationship status. 😅 But now this hit me so hard. The most important is that you never give up on what you want but until you get it trust God/Universe/The process (however you want to call it) and focus on the millions of miracles around you. Because doesn’t matter who says what, you are a miracle. Everything and everyone around us is a miracle and if we start to see Life from a different angle it delivers our dreams. But if you keep whinging about the things you do not have, guess what? You will never have them. 

So SpitFire up and look at your life from a different perspective. It’s worth it!😘

Oh, and please don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: Follow me here, on Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest.

Facebook: @SpiritSpitfires

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Moved On!

Hello Guys,

I promised videos and constant posting, and I haven’t done it… I am sorry, but I was busy living my life. (I also know this is a perfect excuse, but this happened.) And what is “this”? Well, I’ll let you know soon, but now I would like to say thank you to all of you for all the support I have gotten from you during the almost two years since I first started this blog. The Spirit of Spitfire blog will be two years old next month.🥳

So these happened in the past two months since my last post: Chaos, boxes, packaging, playing with space, cleaning, fish and chips, flying, meeting new people, having fun with old ones and lots of “aunty duty”. And these are only a few of them. 

My best advice if you moving across countries is that: play so much Tetris (if you don’t know what it is, google it, my friend,  because you are not old enough to remember,  but it is the best help ever during the packing process.) Why? Because you will need to fill up all the gaps in every box you have. Trust me, I thought, it was easy to fill up boxes and wrap things. Also, I was so naive that I thought I could label boxes, such as “kitchen” and all the kitchen stuff would be in one box and it would be super easy to find everything. If you want to use all the spaces and want to be cost-effective here are my pieces of advice:

  1. Don’t book “move”, book only a few boxes or items each time, as the moving companies charge more if they have to do a “full move” and less if you send only items home(at least this is my experience regarding the move from London to Hungary).
  2. Please take time and find the best company and most of the time the most popular one, not the best.
  3. Use all the spaces in the boxes and write a label which contains everything that is in the box (even your slippers otherwise you will find yourself in my space… I still cannot find it, but I am sure I have it…maybe next to my cutleries?🤔)
  4. Pack your luggage a week before your flight, because I am 100% sure, you will find “a few” things that you want to take home with you, but remember, you have a weight limit. 🙄

After the last boxes left my home, I started to clean everything ( most of the time the landlords ask this and it is a criteria to have back your deposit, however my landlord didn’t ask this, but I cannot leave a dirty house behind me). I had to buy a new backpack and a small cabin bag too (obviously I needed bigger sizes that I already had… I know, I am a proper woman and still I forgot my fridge magnets. 😥) I felt so tired after everything and I thought I will sleep at least for a month. Thinking about everything during a move is so exhausting.

However the day came (27/08) and for the first time after almost eleven years, when my flight left the islands, I didn’t feel I left the “Alcatraz”, I felt I left my home… I left my life. And honestly, I did. Even if I came back to my home country, London and Great Britain were my home for almost eleven years… I knew I must do this and I must do it now, I have to open a new chapter.

I had to wait at the airport, but it was great, because after the 12 degrees, rain and windy summer in London, I felt 36 degrees, sunshine and blue sky… that’s how I arrived in Hungary. Also, I met nice people at the airport, so it was lovely to wait. 

I’ve been home for more than two weeks now and so far I like it. I know at the moment I’m still in my parents’ house and dressing in boxes, while I’m waiting to move to my flat at the Lake Balaton and I know it helps a lot that I can play with my nephew often, but so far I like it. Also, we celebrated during these two weeks, my nephew’s first birthday and brother’s thirtieth birthday doo and soon my Dad’s birthday is coming (yes, all the men in my family were born in September! 🤣) These are the things I would miss if I don’t make the decision to move on (and many more). I don’t have illusions, I am sure it will be hard times, but my depression and anxiety are much better since I’m around people who love me and whose I love too. 

So next time I will share with you an amazing event I’ve been to during the weekend, called Zrínyi Days. It will be a bit different post, as I would like to share with you a bit of the history of my home town and the reason why it is a big deal every year in our neighbourhood. Because London is amazing, Great Britain is beautiful and everyone knows how wonderful Budapest is, but trust me we have many more hidden gems in Hungary.

I hope you stay with me and together we SipFire up Hungary too. 😘 

Love you guys, and doesn’t matter where you are, never forget this: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.

XOXO,

Krisz 😘

P.S.: Follow me here, on Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest.

Facebook: @SpiritSpitfires

Instagram: @spiritofspitfires

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Thank you

XOXO,

Krisz 🥰

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Queens

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Heads up

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Who am I?

Hello Guys,

I know, I know, I didn’t write a word almost a month ago…I promise, as soon as I can, I will kick my own butt. Due to I assigned May to “Confidence”, I wanted to talk about my confidence (or sometimes, when I don’t have), how I lost it and how I built it up so many times…but something came in my mind that I couldn’t let it go and I think first we need to clear the air about this question. Once we know who we are, we can build up our confidence, opposite this will never work. But seriously, is this the right question or is it something else that we are searching for?

I had a lot of conversations about this with my friends and family. It seems that nowadays everyone wants to “find themself”. We are just searching for something that is actually US. 

Who am I? So many times we feel we are lost and have know idea who we are and what we really want in our life. And that’s okay. Noone need to punish themselves about this. This is a normal outcome of growing. We can grow by the changes and never by the routine. During those changes our personality changes a lot (even if we don’t want to or don’t even recognize that.)

In my opinion we are not just one “thing”. If you ask people who they are, mostly they will tell you their jobs. “ I am a doctor”- “I am a banker”-” I am a hairdresser”- “I am…” Really? Are we really our jobs? Or do we “do” something for the living? Do you see the difference?😉

Or when you ask a mother- “I am a mother.” Yes, you are…but you are not just a mother. She is also a daughter, a sister, a wife, a girlfriend, a friend, etc. Or obviously if it is a man, he can be a father, a brother, a friend, also he has a job, so he can be a banker, fisher, etc.

My favorite one is when actually the answer is based on our mood…”I am angry”- “I am mad”- “I am upset”- Seriously? Are you? Is this who you are? Or is this what you feel at the moment? And this is very important and very dangerous guys, because words have power…what you feel,who you say you are today will be the one tomorrow. Don’t get me wrong,when we say and feel “I am happy”-“I am amazing”- “I am excited”… These are all good “to be”s, and we should use these phrases so much more, but be careful with the negative pair of them.

I don’t know how you work guys, but usually “I am” at least 6 different people each day (and that was an easy day). My point is that this is one of the most complicated questions ever. The answer: It depends on the mood, the job, the place where you live, the people around you, the environment, ethnicity, etc. I am stubborn, moody, complicated,hysteria, a fighter,a woman, a sister, a friend. I am also clever, nice,kind, pretty, sexy, bitchy, lost, smooth, even the worst days I can be a dragon (dracharys) and able to burn it down everything around me.😅

Based on the conversations with people around me and on my own “searching myself journey” here is what I found out: the most important question is not “Who I am?” The most important is “Who I want to become?” My mentor and mostly my friend ( drop me a message if you want her contact, because she is a magician and helped me a lot everytime when  I had difficulties in my life) helped me a lot with this question and let me realize this.

I’m sure all of you heard this so many times, but it is so true: “who you think you are today, will be the person tomorrow.” So my conclusion is that we do not need to find ourselves. We are who we are and we are all what we think we are. Most importantly we should be happy, in harmony, accept the worst sides of us, because those are us too and find who we want to be. Once you find the answer for this question, you can work to become that person. 

How do you do that? How do you find the person you want to be? Just ask yourself everyday, every time until you find the answer. (Or at least that’s how I do.) And trust me, during your journey, your life this answer will always change and that’s fine too.

No matter what you should know that you are perfect (even when you are a dragon). 😉 You deserve to be loved and if someone says otherwise, just say: Dracharys! 😉

I love you all♥️

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire 😘

P.s.: If you have any questions or just want to see the daily quotes easier, please follow my Instagram or Facebook page. I plan to change the blog look and the quotes,but I will update you guys on time.😘

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“Confidence comes…”

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“The only thing that will make you happy…”

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire 😘

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How to move as a Spitfire (or not)- Part 2

As I promised, I am back with the rest of the story.

So we’re about a week from the moving out date. We were really upset,tired, exhausted and definitely lost. We started the whole process from the beginning. Search for flats (but of course now only for two people), call agents, tell again the situation, etc. Finally there were 2 amazing flats, but The Sign came again…

The agency said we are more than welcome to go and view the properties, but “there is a little bit of an issue with our moving date”. 🙄 Seriously??? Again??? 

Let me explain to you the meaning of the “little bit of issue “- of course if you first thought that mean “we were in the deep shit” , you technically right and dirty minded – it means that they do not like to be on the rush, so what can be done in 2 days, they will do in 3 weeks.

Yes, you are right, another WTF?!?! 

So we visited the 2 properties and we had 2 days left… So much fun! 

Short version: rent a storage room in Southend where we can put our furniture, rent a room on Airbnb, so we can sleep somewhere and pray!!! Pray a lot! 

We did packed our stuff on the 24th to a (rented) van, take them to Southend,but of course not everything could fit in the van (trust me I have selected which are the most important stuff I have…the rest…well RIP), so for a week our Fiat Punto was full of stuff too. It was a huge mess…we were a huge mess.

Do you know for sure when you reach the bottom? Because you start to think clearly and recognize the small signs that maybe can help to sort out your life. On the way back to London we did recognize that maybe we do not have anything to do in Southend. What if we just stay in London and see what life will bring to us? We have decided that we will try with shared houses , because we were sure that we cannot afford a 2 bedroom flat in London. Just set on a bed in an airbnb room, without a home address (technically we became homeless) and waited for destiny. Totally exhausted and hopeless. 

Life is a funny thing guys, because when you let go of something that was actually meant to you, you will get it just as easily as taking a breath. On the flatshare website we found a 2 bedroom flat and you never guess what happened. From the 6-8 application, that 2 bedroom flat was the only place where they did call us and we went to view it. (that was on Wednesday, we had to move out somewhere until Friday, otherwise we will seriously sleep on the street.)

On Thursday at 4pm we signed our 12 months contract for the 2 bedroom flat in London. The other funny fact about this flat is that it is actually in Crouch End, the place what we always loved and always wanted to move there, but the house costs are there way to high for us, and yet, we have got a 2 bed flat for less than what we did paid in our previous house. 🙂 We both cried…after 3 weeks of nightmare and hopeless fight to move to Southend, we did get a flat in one of the most amazing areas of London, just as easily as taking a breath. 🙂 What is this if it is not a miracle???? Maybe I am a dreamer and I am way too optimistic, but this was one of the biggest miracles in my Life. (Slowly I will tell you the others, I promise.) In that week, when we did not have a home, we faced a lot of other small miracles too. I did sell some of my clothes on Vinted, so many random people just smiled to us, we found an amazing printing shop in Palmers Green (Kodak, go there guys because they are so quick and lovely), have back some money from the storage place and last, but not least if you planned to visit London and you do not know where to sleep, book on airbnb one of our host’s amazing rooms. The house is in Palmers Green. It is a lovely area, she is a nice host, helped a lot, smiled a lot and the rooms are huge, clean and tidy. Also she taught me that never plan in your life, because Life will sort you out just the way it is the best for you. You can have dreams, goals and do for them, but not plan. Just let your life happen. 🙂 Thank you, I will be grateful for her help until I live. 🙂 (I can send the link if you wish, guys.)

Also I have another person who’s I have to mention and I think he is one of the best property agents ever. He helped us a lot during the time we have lived in Pelham Road. He was always helpful, nice, kind and one of the nicest people I have ever known. He did everything he could to help us. Even 2 hours after we moved out of the house, we did get back our deposit, which is super quick. I will be grateful for his help as well forever. (If you need a house in North London, ask me for his details and I am sure he will help you too.) 

( I did not forget to mention about my family and friends. They were always next to me and my best friend. They worried about us, cheered for us and they are the best ever. I am grateful for them every single day and I will until I die. ;)- They are the best. Mom, Dad, my brother and his wife, Nicole and Pasquale (I can never be enough grateful for you guys and what have you done to us), and all of them at home, in Hungary. ) Of course Adam has the biggest thanks, due to he is the best friend who did everything with me and whom I still live with. Thank you for being my best friend for 17 years now. 🙂

Of course Friday we went back to Southend and packed our stuff from the storage, packed in Crouch End.We have got another amazing property agent. He is lovely, quick (he did all the paperwork during an afternoon, what on Southend would take 2-3 weeks) and so helpful (you know, ask for his details) We got used to our new home and we finally found peace.

Do I hate my “friend” why she left us? No. She is a nice person and if she thinks earlier, maybe I cannot go home and have the best Christmas Ever in my life, or my Mom could not come and have an amazing time with just the 2 of us here. May we be in Southend, pay less rent, but also we have less salary. May I not learn what I did learn during this time.

What have I learnt? Well so many things. As I mentioned I have learnt to trust people and Life again. I realized that maybe I wanted to go to Southend, but I have nothing to do there. Maybe a month sucks worth it, just to have a nice Christmas and a relaxing week with Mom. I have learnt that we can wish for better things, but we must appreciate what we already have, because nothing is forever and everything is changing…always. No matter what, life never stays the same forever. I have learnt not to take anything or anyone granted. And finally I have learnt to listen to my instinct and trust only the trustful people around me and realized who I can really count on and who’s not. People are just coming and going in your life.

I do understand no what my friend and master Anita always told me about the mirrors. 🙂 Once you criticize someone, stop for a minute and look at yourself in the mirror and find out why those things are frustrating you in the other people, so you will realize that those are the things that you do as well absolutely subconsciously. 

And I finish this story with Anita’s other lesson: “Nobody is your enemy and nobody is your friend. Everyone is in your life to teach you.”

I hope you did enjoy this story and I can help not move like Miss Spitfire! 😉 (I make mistakes so many times. 🙂 )

Next time I will bring you some positive “lessons” about happiness. 😉 

Oh and don’t forget to follow me here, Facebook and/or Instagram for the daily positive quotes. 🙂

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire