Tag: Christmas

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Change your perspective

Hello Guys,

I hope you are having fun and starting to feel the Christmas spirit. Okay, I know, maybe some of you are not that much of a fan of the holidays. (Doesn’t matter I still love you all Grinches.😝) Advent season is my favourite, but staying alone under the mistletoe does not make me happy either…until now. Not because I finally kissed the right frog and became a prince…no. 😅 But something happened and changed my perspective. And that’s what I want to talk about—changing perspective.

Usually, I go to sleep quite early, but a couple of days ago I couldn’t fall asleep. So I started to dumb scroll my social media and found a video that made me think and changed my view of everything, especially my relationship status. I know, it’s a shame on me that I did not save the video or even remember the guy’s profile, but he said that every time he feels blue because he is single, he starts to imagine that what if next year this time he will be in a relationship and he will have a fight with the love of his life and he just wishes to be single again. So basically he said that he enjoys every minute of his single life because you never know when The One comes and maybe he wants to have back his life alone. Bumm!!! Hit me in the face! I have never thought about my life like this. He has done nothing just shifted the focus. 

So I started to think. I love the holidays, the decorations, the Christmas markets, the lights, smells, foods, songs (especially the songs😅), buying gifts and all the advent vibe. BUT! As a single person when Christmas Eve came and I stood alone in the mistletoe, I felt so lonely and disappointed. Even if I was with my amazing family and friends, I felt that something was wrong with me. Of course, I knew that I was fine and this was just a period of my life. Usually, when this emotion hits I start to tell myself The List (all the things only a single can do) and it helps, but this video hit me so hard. Because I thought I was positive and handled this whole “magical love is all around” thing well, but I just used toxic positivity and covered my emotions with my little list. Plus I haven’t enjoyed the last couple of Christmases as much as I could because I was too focused on the fact that I’m “alone”. I couldn’t appreciate the fact that how much I wasn’t alone. The fact that how lucky I was and I am because I have a wonderful family, both my parents are alive and healthy, and I have the best nephews ever, plus year by year I have more people I can call friends. My head was in my ass and that video finally pulled it out. I talk about gratitude here, but I wasn’t grateful at all. But that’s okay. I’ll not punish myself because I’m only a human…I’m not perfect, but I’m truly grateful that I realised these things before it’s too late. 

Don’t get me wrong, I still wish to have someone in my life who I can call my own but from now on I enjoy the advent even if I am alone because I never know when that prince finally find his white horse and rides to me. It’s good to have someone but as a single woman I do not have to play puzzle with the time and make sure that we visit his family and mine too. Plus you guys know exactly how this works…the day is good for you it’s not good for your brother’s family and the dates that are good for his family are not good for yours, and all the parents want the same date and everything is just like a business schedule. 😅🙄Not to mention the struggle with the gifts and the cooking/baking procedure. Instead, of all these hustles I go to my parent’s house before Christmas and I’ll only move from my favourite armchair when I have to eat… probably I’ll even sleep in it. 🤷‍♀️🤣 I do not have to go outside in the cold and visit anyone else. No expectations.

Everything has a bright side. So many times we don’t see it or don’t want to see it. Not always easy to find the light in the dark, I know, but there is. Always. I don’t talk about the fake positivity. If something is sucks, it’s sucks. We have to feel it but after we give it out we should change our perspectives otherwise life will just go by and in the end, we have no idea how we end up there where we will be. So many times we think we have time, but after all those years I just realised what it means that we only have the present. 

Christmas is just one thing where you can use his method. And this is not just for singles. Think about it. For example, if you really wish to have a kid, but somehow doesn’t happen instead of you becoming depressed and anxious, you can shift your focus. Like my best friend did. (P.S. She is one of the strongest women on Earth!🥰) She used the same technique without knowing she did. Now she enjoys the time with her husband and appreciates every moment. They travel a lot because they never know when the kid comes and obviously after that, they will not be able to go for a long weekend just for the 2 of them. Was it easy for her? Hell No! But it was worth it because she is glowing now. They don’t give up on the kid, but until the little angel arrives they enjoy life as it is.

Another example is if you want to change your job or find one, instead of crying and complaining, just shift your perspective. Send your CVs and cover letters but in the meantime enjoy the fact that you do not have to wake up early or dress up. You can go for a walk whenever you want or stay home and read a book. Try to enjoy these things while you search for a “perfect job” because very soon you have to go to work and maybe you will not be this free for years.

Don’t get me wrong I talked about this here in the blog but in a different view and I thought I used the focus shift and I did but never about my relationship status. 😅 But now this hit me so hard. The most important is that you never give up on what you want but until you get it trust God/Universe/The process (however you want to call it) and focus on the millions of miracles around you. Because doesn’t matter who says what, you are a miracle. Everything and everyone around us is a miracle and if we start to see Life from a different angle it delivers our dreams. But if you keep whinging about the things you do not have, guess what? You will never have them. 

So SpitFire up and look at your life from a different perspective. It’s worth it!😘

Oh, and please don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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“Let them” theory or how to enjoy the Holiday season

Hello guys,

I hope you are well and ready for my favourite holiday of all time… yes, It’s Christmas time Baby!!! 😅

Even though since Winter arrived, we are most likely to close ourselves in the room with a warm blanket, a nice mug of hot chocolate and a movie or book, we still have to interact with people around us especially now during the holiday season. Have you ever felt that you wish you had a magic wand and change the people around you? I am sure we all had this idea once or twice… hourly. But we all know that we cannot do this. (Nope, not in a legal way for sure. 😅)

Since I relocated back to my country, I have had more interaction with people and some of them are not avoidable. But what we can do if we are not from a Harry Potter movie? Well, I found the answer… actually, Mel Robbins found the answer with her “Let Them” theory. I link you here to the entire podcast episode about this, so you can hear from her the whole thing. I mentioned her name and work so many times in this blog and the fact that the woman is brilliant and I adore her. 

I heard about this theory from her a long time ago and my mentor/friend told me this in a different way, but you know how life works? You hear something, you do it, it works, and when things are good and Life flows, you forget about it and not practice it until you need it again. (Typical and absolutely wrong, but we are human, we have to make mistakes a million times to finally get them. Life!🙄)

Essentially, it’s about acknowledging that we can’t control other people and letting go of the expectations we force on those closest to us. You allow things as they are and not as you wish them to be. It is easier to say than done… I know. But it is easy. If you listen to the podcast you can have examples, but I share some of mine, how this little brain hack changed my life and especially my relationships.

So first, how to use it? Simple.

  1. Recognize that you are in a situation where you try to control someone or something. You need to stop first and realize that you are only able to control actions or reactions to the situation.
  2. “Let them”- accept the things/situation/people the way they are.

As I said, it is very easy and simple. How does it work? My favourite example, from my own life, is if your mother wishes to cook the holiday dinner instead of ordering from a restaurant…well, let her. (I love you Mom, you are the best! 😘) Instead of sitting around us and having fun, she does the Christmas dinner… we can just order from a restaurant, which would save time and energy for her, but this is very important for her to do it, so I have to let her be. Will I ever agree on this? Nope! But instead of arguing about this thing, I just let her do what is best for her.

Or the typical toilet seat argument… up or down? Come on?! Doesn’t matter… just let them down… or up. 😉 But we all know when colleagues go to drink after work and they do not invite you. Let them. If it is important to you to spend time with them outside of work, you can organize a drink too. I see that we are so different and we do not agree with many things, but instead of trying to change someone just let them be themselves. You can save so much time and energy by focusing on yourself and the way you like to experience this thing we call Life rather than just being upset that the people around us do not match the expectations we create. 

You can also use the “Let Them” theory to let people grow and fail. I know we wish to save the once we love to fail or have experiences that are not good for them, but if we do not let them, we steal them the opportunity to grow. I am not a parent, but I am lucky enough to have them in my life, also I have friends and family members who are parents and I see they try to save us from everything. It seems they know everything better, they try to control us and it is so hard for them just to let us live our lives and experience uncomfortable things. I get it. My friends say that I am a natural-born “protector”. I try to help everyone around me and protect them from having negative experiences. It took me so long to understand that everyone has to have their lessons. That’s how they learn to protect themselves in the future.

If you feel you are jealous about someone…again, “let them”. You have to let out this feeling from you. If you are jealous, it means you are not accepting the people and the way of Life how it is, so you need to let this. You are trying to control the people around you when you feel like this.

It is important to mention that there are some areas when we cannot “let them”. Here are the exceptions:

  1. Drinking and driving or if someone wants to do any other kind of dangerous thing. We DO NOT LET THEM!!! 
  2. Suicidal behaviour. ( I think this is something that I do not have to explain.)
  3. Discriminate others.

The “ let them” theory is not about that we let people walk over us, we can use it for our own “safety”. Protect our feelings, save energy instead of fighting all the time and help to understand people and ourselves more. It helps us to slow down, observe our reactions, find out our triggers and even have fun.

I do recommend you listen to Mel’s podcast and follow her on every kind of social media because she is brilliant. Also, if you want more info about my mentor, send me a direct message and I’ll give you her contact.

So now go, sparkle and (Spit)Fire up yourselves for the holidays and please “let them” instead of “fight them”! 😘 And if you wish, let me know how it helped you. 

Oh, and please don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

Happy Holidays Spitfires!!!!🎄😘

XOXO,

Krisz 😘

P.S.: Follow me here, on Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest.

Facebook: @SpiritSpitfires

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Merry Christmas to everyone! 🎄😘

XOXO,

Krisz 😘

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Santa is coming tonight

Hello, hello…

…or should I say Hohohohoooo?! 🎅

I know some of you are just looking at the title and have no idea what I am talking about because today is only the 5th of December. Let me explain to you and I promise until we finish here you will go and clean your boots (okay, sneakers will work too 😉). Okay, now, I am sure you lost (except if you are from Hungary).

So I know most of the world celebrates Christmas and Santa brings presents on the 25th of December…well not in Hungary. Don’t worry, we have Christmas and we get presents too (in my family we open the presents on Christmas eve), but in Hungary Jesus brings the presents and the Christmas tree too on Christmas eve (yes, we do not decorate the Christmas tree until the 24th of December’s afternoon)… so now you wonder, what we do with Santa?!

Well, we do nothing with him, but he brings us presents on the 6th of December night. I do not wish to explain the whole history of this tradition, because is more religious and I do not want to mix this here, but I can explain the actual tradition. 

So in Hungary (and some of the other European countries too) at this time, the kids are cleaning their boots and preparing them for the night. On the 5th of December evening, we had to clean our boots and leave them in the window before we get ready for bed. We had to make sure that they are nice and shiny and left them in the windows to make sure that Santa easily can find them During this magical night Santa picks up his sleigh and all his reindeer (we are not that weirdo, we call them on the same name the same as the rest of the world does) and deliver the presents to the kids. Fill up the boots with lots of nice things. Nowadays the kids get maybe some small toys too, but the original tradition is that Santa only brings sweets and chocolates (in my grandparents’ childhood was a bit different, they had fruits, sweets, and nuts)…lots of chocolates. During this time of the year, you can buy small packs full of different kinds of sweets or you can make them your own (the only must-have is the Santa figure) or just leave the goodies as it is in the footwear. But one thing is sure, everyone gets something…

…and here you can ask “what about the bad kids”. Well, the bad kids don’t get anything or they only get “sorghum” (I am not sure you have a proper word for this thing, so you can see a picture of it below). Actually, still, today parents threaten their kids during the year (or should I say blackmailing?) with the fact that if they do not behave or be nice, Santa will not give them anything or they will get only a big bounce of sorghum. (Let’s make something clear, I have it sometimes, but because I was a bad kid… I was always cheeky. Just for clarity.😋)

The week of the 6th of December Santa goes to schools, kindergartens, and nurseries (even into the Library in Hobol, search for it!) and brings small presents and chocolates to the kids (szaloncukor, it is a traditional Hungarian bonbon only for Christmas). The kids decorate the houses, and the institutes, and sing songs to Santa when he arrives.

As a sweet tooth, this is one of my favorite traditions. And the answer is YES, I cleaned my boots already. 😉

So have fun, clean your boots and if you were good enough during this year, maybe you will find something in your footwear tomorrow morning.😘

Love you guys and Happy Santa day for tomorrow!🎅

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: For the daily quotes and more fun, please follow the Spitfires on Instagram and Facebook (find as spiritofspitfires).💖

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Presents= Love (?)

As we still have a couple of weeks until Christmas, and I am sure some of you have a similar relationship with Christmas shopping than I do, I think we should talk about it. 

So, I am a perfectionist, I have plans and a “to-do list” for even a “to-do list”, but I am really bad at Christmas gifts. Every single year around September I swear that this year I will start buying the gifts on time and not at the last minute… guess what? Never happened… I know…that’s bad…well, I am not perfect and I never want to be (way too boring) 😉

So I started to think about what to buy for my family and friends, but I was always stuck. I was so worried previously. The point was that: do presents are equal to love? If I buy what they like or want, do they love me more, and if I f@ck up and they get something that they do not like, they will love me less? Is that how the world works? Or even should I be scared that my family and friends will not love me if I do not buy the “best present ever” for them? Can you really buy love with money?

First things first, I am not scared at all, I have made a kind of “system” for myself. This is a material world, so everyone gets a present, but I also try to give them the things that really show them that I love them. How can I do that? 🙂 Sooooo easy and soooo not. 🙂

A couple of years ago I have read a book called Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I think that book helped me a lot and changed so many things around me and started to understand the behavior of my environment. 

You know when you really want something (time, gift, someone understands you, etc.), but you do not understand why your environment doesn’t get it? When you have an opinion of love, friendship, relationship, how those things should work, etc., but someone acts the totally opposite way and you do not understand why that person is so “different” and why doesn’t get that he/she makes it “wrong”. 

Well, my friends, I will tell you a secret… they speak a different love language than what you speak. I do not want to talk about the Love Languages, because I think everyone should read the book and even we should teach to the kids in the schools because that could help them more than quantum physics (all do respect for quantum physics and all the other subjects in school) so basically, I just write the name of them.

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Physical Touch
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Quality Time
  • Acts of Service

So, how do I sort out my Christmas gifts, and what does it do with the Languages? So easy: you need to find out who speaks which language, study to speak on it and then all done…okay, that’s not so easy, but worth it. 🙂

The fact is that for someone the presents are really equal to love and that’s totally okay like this. Some other people need our time, hugs, acknowledgment, favor, and that’s okay too. Nice the phrases that “give love instead of gifts”, but if you have someone around you whose love language is “receiving gifts”, they will not understand why you did not buy some presents for them and may they feel you do not love them. I buy gifts for everyone and I also try to “speak with them in their love language”. I have a couple of them who needs time together, so I try to make time for them. Some around me need to get confirmation, so I try to give them. And the list goes on and on and on. The point is that first you must listen to them and find out how they like to experience love and give it to them in that way. So that’s it. 🙂

To me, you are all equal and I love you no matter what language you speak or where do you come from. And really important that no matter how you like to experience Love, you are not bad or weird, you are perfect Spitfires as it is. 🙂

Have a good Christmas present hunting Spitfires. 😉

XOXO

Miss Spitfire

P.S.: Gary Chapman- Five Love Languages could be a good Christmas gift (you are welcome). 😉

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Christmas miracles

It is absolutely Christmas time now. This is one of my most favorite times of the year. (Okay after summer, but come on, who doesn’t like the sunshine and the warm weather?!) To understand why I chose the Christmas miracles title for this post, we need to go back a bit and you need to know a bit more about me.

Christmas was always my favorite season and I was always so excited about it. As I mentioned in my previous post, I am not from the US. I am from a really small country in Europe, but I have been living in the UK for almost a decade now. And my first Christmas miracle started with this move.

I decided to move to the UK and search for some adventures in the middle of November almost 10 years ago. My family is the best ever in the Word and I have always got everything from them, even if they were a really poor family. So I had no money, a huge debt, and a decision to move abroad. I had no idea how I would manage this, I only knew I would move in January no matter what. I had no idea, but at that time I used for the first in my life my “I don’t give a sh@t pills” (most of the people call creation, attraction, or realise, doesn’t matter what you call). I realized this only a couple of years later when I started to really deal with motivation and study that.

I have read about some positive thinking and how to create the Word you really want, but that was just the beginning of my journey.

I only had a strong decision, but no money or financial support. Guess what? Once you have the strongest decision and instincts in your life the “hows” will sort out themselves. I have got luggage as a leaving gift from my previous company. I have got a bonus which I never got previously. I have been paid for a job that I have done a year earlier and I never thought that I would ever be paid for it. I was supposed to have some discounts that year, but it was a huge mistake, so they paid for me fully in cash.  

And the list goes on and on and on.

Most people (including even me) make the mistakes that start thinking about the “hows” and don’t let the Universe/Word/God/Mother Earth/Themselves (call it how you like it) to deliver them the solutions, the ways. 

Faith is very important in our lives and to believe in ourselves, about the things that we truly desire. That’s how strong are the “Christmas miracles”, how strong we are. Most of the people said I am crazy and so many times in my life I heard that “this is impossible” on every occasion. Trust me, if you really want something you can get it…anything…no limits. Just need to reach the point to “Let it go” (even if sometimes “I mad ad Disney”, the old Walt had some good thoughts), take your “I don’t give a sh@t pills” or just “release it”. 

Especially at Christmas time. People most likely believe in miracles at this time of the year.  Something about the Christmas spirit… especially if you have some Spitfire to fuel it too. 😉

So be brave, strong and believe that especially at Christmas time everything is possible. 😉

XOXO

Miss Spitfire