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Tag: forgiveness
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Forgiveness
I know, I promised that I will share with you my Happiness Challenge experiences and I will. Actually Forgiveness is a part of the challenge, a bit later, but I thought this is one of the most important.
Why? Well, you can do a Happiness Routine and all the practices and they will help, but if you do have negative feelings for someone (or even worse for yourself), how can you be happy and positive? You see? You can’t. Or at least not permanently. (Again that’s just my opinion and based on my experience.) When you have negative feelings about something or someone, you cannot be positive. When you are negative means that you do not have love or any kind of positive energy in your body, so your vibe is not the highest ever. Happiness is a positive and very high level of energy, so you must forgive and let go of the things that you do not desire in your life.
Let’s just clear the air first. What does it mean to forgive? So many people (including me in the past) think about forgiveness like a ritual and they also think you have to go there and say it out loud to the people who make you angry, upset, mean, etc. That’s not really true. You can do that for sure, but forgiveness is much more for your own health and nothing to do with the other person or the situation. There are so many techniques that can help you to forgive( I will give you some ideas), but it doesn’t matter which one you use, if it is not coming from your heart. To forgive someone is just a decision. You choose to let go of the bad/negative/unsatisfied feelings and open the next chapter in your life (with or without the person or situation).
Also forgiveness is not equal to forgetting.Forgive someone does not mean that you have to forget everything and let them behave like nothing happened. Actually the opposite. You should remember, even if it hurts you, because if you do not learn the lesson, it will happen again. I believe that everything and everyone enters our life for a reason. Someone comes to give you positive feelings, someone teaches you something, someone stays “forever”, someone just a “traveler” when finished with their “job” they let you go without them. And it’s good like this. Forgiving is creating your own boundaries.
“Forgiveness is not for the other person. Forgiveness is a gift for yourself.”
Elizabeth Lombardo
I have learnt another lesson about forgiveness. When you do it, you should check the “mirror”. What does that mean? Well, you forgive something that created a bad feeling in yourself. You are never forgiven for positive/good things. The most important question (and actually this is the “mirror”) is why those things bothered you? Why did you feel bad about what other people have done to you?
I know it sounds stupid and not make any sense at the first time, but you should check why d you hurting yourself and with what. (Okay, now I hear that everyone says: “she is an idiot”; “why should I hurt myself?”; “This is crazy”; etc.- trust me, I have asked the same questions when I first heard about this theory. Just think about it.) We have thousands of thoughts every hour and day. And trust me you cannot control all of them (nope, even not me, who is a very control freak woman. 🙂 ) You do it unconsciously and that’s okay. That’s not a problem and you do not have to check all your thoughts (you will never be able to do that). I just say, that when you sit down to forgive something, think about the fact that may you created this situation, because may you do not trust enough, not love enough yourself, may you punishing yourself about something (what happened in the past).
When you have to forget someone it means you are disappointed. That means you expected something and it did not happen or not on the way you wanted. You can avoid disappointment if you do not expect anything from anyone and if something good happens then you will be happy, if not…well, it would be good like that. (To be honest, if someone knows how NOT to expect anything, please write me, because that something I still cannot do. 🙂 )
So as I said I have a couple of techniques that I use to forgive.
- “Writing and burning”- basically I write all my harms on a paper (or you can do it separately, each harm on each paper). Read them out loud and then burn the paper and feel all your anger just gone. (Do not do it when it’s windy or inside your house (not even in someone else’s house, whose you are angry) and make sure you think about all necessary security measures. – At least a glass of water next to you!!!!)
- “Eraser”- also, I just write down everything that I wish to forgive with a pencil and instead of burning the paper, I use the eraser and see all my anger gone.
- “Meditation”- That sounds very difficult, but it is simple. Just close my eyes, think about the person, think about the situation and the feeling that I felt. When I have got everything, I just simply imagine that the person is in front of me and I say “I forgive you.”
So I will be back with all the experiences from the 21 days Happiness Challenge. BUT until then, you can follow me on Facebook, Instagram or even here and you can get a bit of Happiness from me via my favorite happiness quotes.
Have a super happy (and forgiving) day Spitfires! 😉
XOXO,
Miss Spitfire
I am sorry I have not written for a long time now, but trust me,when you read the story of my last 2 months, you will understand everything. Usually, I write you some positive and energy boosting stories, and I promise I will,but first, I just want to share with you my last 1,5- 2 months.
May I mention that I live in London with 2 of my friends… Well, I reduced the amount to only one. Start at the beginning: How did it happen?
As I said we live in London, but last Fall we felt that we had enough of London (now I know it wasn’t about London, it was only a part of it), so we decided to move to Southend-on-Sea. It is a lovely city next to the sea. Quite, clean and only 40 minutes by train from London. The property prices were much lower than in London and we had work opportunities there too. We could save some money from the rent and utility bills. All looked amazing and perfect. So, why not?
We set down and discussed this. My “friend” asked for a bit of time to think about it, due to her jobs in London and she didn’t really want to leave London. She has got 2-2,5 weeks to think about it. She did write “pro/contra lists’ ‘. That’s fair enough, due to not everyone just having enough, pack and move to a different city or even country (yes, it was me). She did put everything on a scale and in the end she decided to come with us. YEEEEPPP!!! ( I say again, it was in November, after at least 2 weeks of thinking.) So we did give our notice for the previous house and we had the moving date: 24th February 2022.
Days, weeks and months past. My Mom came to London, had an amazing Christmas and New Year’s Eve (you know all about). We came back to London after our holiday and we were really excited about the move.
Here I have to mention a bit about signs. As I said , I am a true believer and I really try to live as positively as I can, and like that I absolutely believe in signs. You can call as you wish God/Universe/Life/Etc., but I am sure we always receive signs which guide us in the right direction. If we are clever enough to listen to them we would have less pain in our life. I also told you that I am very stubborn…so like this, I always learn the hard way. Time has come to start searching for our new home. And we did.
First sign was actually that the government made a decision: if more than 2 people wish to rent a whole house, then the landlord has to have a license called HMO license. This license came with a lot of obligations from the landlord (for example the house has to have at least 2 bathrooms, x size of a kitchen, x amount of rooms, etc.). So of course not that many landlords wish to have this complication in their life, so we had our first problem: we couldn’t find a landlord who wants to have us. Sucks…yes…but the story is far away from the end. You know me guys, I am not the kind of girl who just gives up after the first try. No. We have tried to find a solution which can be good for our future landlord and for us too. And we did. If these 3 people are related then the landlord does not have to pay the HMO. (Related means: marriage, family, kids, siblings, cuisines and of course you are able to proof it- bills on all of your names, previous tenancy agreements, etc.). Guess what? We became cuisines. 🙂 Problem solved. We were happy and even found a house.
Second sign: We were about to go to Southend, see the house and make an offer. Technically just to go and sign the papers. (It was a week before we had to move out.) Half an hour before we were about to depart from our house, my “friend” said that it cost way too much to travel every single day to London (which she just checked the night before- £300), so she cannot come with us. My best friend and I must move out together without her. WTF????? (And now I mean What The F@ck???????????) She asked for time to think, she said she has done research and lists… and yet, she said 30 minutes before we had to depart to move, that she cannot afford the train tickets… Seriously???? I think even Buddha could be f@cking upset about this. So we stood there a bit more than one week from the moving out date, no house,no options and had to start everything from the beginning.
What could we do? How do we sort it out? What was the solution? How we became technically homeless for a week? How does the story end? What have I learnt from all these? And most importantly how does a Spitfire make a magic of all of these situations? You will know if you will follow me and read the next part of the story. 😉
Trust me this is just the beginning. 🙂
XOXO,
Miss Spitfire
Spirit of Spitfire 