Tag: happiness

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Summary of a Summer,

aka Painkillers and Distractions

Hello guys,

I hope you’re well and had an amazing Summer. I had one of a kind. And that’s exactly the subject for this time.🥰

Usually, Summer is my “battery charger”. My friends and loved ones often tell me that I’m working with solar energy. So, if the sun is shining, I’m happy and conquer the World at least 2 times per hour, but if not, it’s like someone unplugged me. That’s true most of the time, and that’s why I didn’t realise the fall. The worst part is that this period started last Spring, but I was so busy to realise that I’ve started to “use painkillers” and “distractions”, just to make sure I don’t have to deal with the “serious things”. What does it mean? I’ll explain.

Usually, I don’t like to talk about these kinds of things. Who likes to talk about their failures and falls? Yepp, no one. Especially if you’re in the care industry. But I think that’s why it’s important to tell you about my journey. 

So, if you know me, you know that I’m always busy, full of energy, very positive, cheerful, but a tough, strong and badass woman. Which is true, but what only a few of you know is that I’m so emotional and hopeless romantic. I’m a born empath, and that can be a blessing and a curse, too. I’m loyal till the end, I love with all my heart, I can be excited about anything, and that’s why I have high hopes and expectations. I thought I had learnt to get the balance, but the Universe proved that I’m so far from it. 

I’m always so high in the clouds or so low down in Hell. No middle ground. Last summer, I felt I was in balance. I felt zen and happy. That was the illusion. A lovely and so high period. I loved every minute of it and I haven’t regretted anything. So I had the same expectations for this summer, too. But Life happened. I wanted to do what I did last summer, but life hit me hard, so I had to see what I was actually doing.

I kept myself busy, but not because I had that many things to do, but because I didn’t want to face the fact that I started to please everyone around me again, just to keep the (now I know, it was only an illusion) peace. I tried to be perfect in every aspect of my life. Perfect look, style, student, employee, friend, daughter, aunt, sister, etc. You name it and I’ve done it. I’ve tried so hard to be everywhere, to “make” everyone happy. And that’s where I started to use “pankillers” and “distractions”. 

What were those? Fun! I went to parties, I met friends, I was even a fangirl on a bench for a whole summer, just to feel alive, everything but facing the fact that I started to feel tired. It was much easier to listen to other people’s problems and help them than help myself. I didn’t know what I was doing. I just felt okay and good. When I had some bad days, instead of sitting down and checking what the lesson is, what I am doing, I used one of my lovely distractions. I called a friend, went to the beach or sat and listened to my favourite songs from one of the kindest singers I know. Don’t get me wrong, I love helping others, I never regret a minute of last summer, and I had a really fun time, but that lifestyle wasn’t sustainable, nor aligned with my plans.  

Last Fall, things started to fall apart, but as you know, I had my exams, so I just thought that everything was about the stress regarding the study. I believed, once I finished, I would have what I wanted, because I worked so hard for it, and everything would be calm again, just like in summer, and I could focus again on the things that “made” me happy. But nothing went according to plan, and I hit rock bottom. I was so high on positive energy, so I hit the ground so hard. But hey, I’m fine! I think that should be on my gravestone: “I’m fine!”😅 “I’m fine, and this is just a bump on the road!” “I’ve got this!”- Yep, all the cliches. And all the toxic positivity.

People think that these are enough to open someone’s eyes. Well, it’s a good thing that I’m so stubborn, like a dog with a bone, so I didn’t let go, no sit down, self-reflect…noooo…that’s not me. 😅 I shook myself, fixed my crown and continued the same journey. I didn’t realise what I was doing even during Christmas time. I love that time of the year, and I was just tired. I was exhausted from shopping, being on the go, running all the time, and juggling everything. Lessons with my students, working on the website, planning for next year, being who everyone wants you to be, but in the end, no one was happy with me or the things I‘ve done. I wanted nothing, just to sit on that bench and be summer again. 

The New Year started lovely, with another “painkiller”, but it felt good, so I gathered energy to go on, and I put all my energy into the life coaching. I was high, on the top again. I’ve met amazing and inspiring people who have helped me a lot. By summer arrived, I was so happy and proud. My students gave me so much love, and I’m so proud of all of them. But students finished, the summer hit, and everyone went on holiday. So I couldn’t be as busy as I wanted to be. 

I honestly thought about the distractions, but after May, I realised that it would be lovely, but if I continue like this, I cannot pull my head out of the sand. 

So this summer, I’ve done what I least wanted to do: I faced my fears and flaws. I’ve been sitting instead of a bench and listening to someone else (whom I wanted to listen to so badly), I was sitting in my bed or on the beach and listening to myself. It was so hard… I’m not very kind to myself, but better with others. 😅 I hit rock bottom during the process and found out things that I’ve buried so deep down, I didn’t remember that I’ve ever felt them. I re-created my boundaries because some of them were so outdated. Even I realised that time to time boundaries need to be bent or rethought. I had to accept a million things about myself and others who are so close to me. Also, I had to let go of people who were part of my life forever, but did not fit in anymore. I was disappointed more times than I can count. I felt like going back and distracting myself would be easy, but I had to “come off the painkillers” to be who I am, to move on and be calm, balanced and be happy without anyone’s approval or validations from outside of me. Now I am in a place where I am not just saying that I am fine, I honestly feel it. I still have work to do, but I am happy, without any distractions. 

It sucks!!! Trust me, it was harder than anything, but now I know my value. I know who I am and I know my worth. I don’t want to settle for less anymore, just to feel alive. If someone wants me in their life, they have to treat me as a priority and not an option. Anyone…friends, family, love, anyone. I understand the people around me, I understand where they come from, which wounds they have and why they do things the way they do. I do understand all of these things. But if I make an effort to understand them, I want them to make the same effort for me. Or the bare minimum, is that leave me alone. What you give, you get back. 

The point is that life without expectations is nice, but no one can do that. Even if you don’t expect anything from others, you expect them not to expect anything from you. And that’s a catch-22. 😉 

I think what I wanted to tell you in the end is that it’s okay to fail, it’s okay to rebuild from the ground up, it’s fine to make mistakes, but check your painkillers and distractions, so you can change your life for good. As soon as you start looking for these things and start to do the work, as soon as your life will change too, and you can be the one you want to, or meant to be. Fun is a good thing and has as much as you need, just make sure that this fun is not toxic, not because you want to hide something, not just a distraction, but pure joy. I can have fun now without using it as a cover for deep wounds. 

Enjoy the last days of summer, have fun and be yourself, no matter what. Spitfire up, and if you can’t, just sit on a bench and look inside. It’s worth it! And you are never alone. I am here for you, and I am so proud of you! If you need help, just drop a message and we will figure it out together!😘

Oh, and please don’t forget: You don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: Please follow me here, on Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest.

Facebook: @SpiritSpitfires

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Blog

Mindfulness

Hello guys,

I hope everything is going well with you. I do apologise because of the “blog-break”, but as you saw on the website, I’m a bit busy nowadays and I love that. ❤ I try to do many nice things, such as offering a free 5-question workbook. The next one is coming soon, which will help you on your self-discovery journey. 

But I’m here now to talk about an important topic, which is our health. I know this one is all over the place, and everyone is living a healthy lifestyle, and mental health is a huge topic nowadays, so the question is relevant: “What new can you tell me?” I’m not sure I can, but I believe the importance of repeating things that are valuable and can be beneficial for others. 

Since the WHO describes it very well, we all know that health is not just not being sick, but it’s feeling good in our body, mind and soul. We all know the components of a healthy life, such as a good night’s sleep, reducing stress, a balanced diet, and the list goes on. I promise I have no intention to speak about food or sleep. Also, I’ll avoid the “no drugs, alcohol or smoke” part. 

What I want to talk about is what I do every day as a life coach, which I see firsthand. This blog is positive, so today’s topic is mental health. And mindfulness. I truly believe that if someone follows a healthy diet, exercises every day, has at least 8 hours of sleep and doesn’t have any bad habits, they still can have serious health issues because of stress. Since the internet and social media are part of our everyday life, the World has accelerated, and the stress factors have increased significantly. Although companies are investing substantial amounts of money in various work-life balance activities, the burnout rates are on the rise. Why? Well, I used to work in the corporate area, and until the multimillion-dollar companies deal with their employees as robots and not humans, a weekly massage or yoga will never help. Think about it. Your company offers fresh fruits for breakfast. You took it, then you went for a company-paid 30-minute massage. When you finish with that, you sit down next to your computer, and you have 30 unread messages regarding what is wrong in the company, and everyone wants you to fix it. How would you feel? Or when you have to take your laptop with you during your holiday, just to make sure that you are reachable, and if you are, trust me, they will reach out. If they don’t, after a week of holiday, your inbox will be full, and I guarantee that when you finish with all those emails, you will feel even more tired than you left for those holidays not to mention the maternity period, especially in the UK, where, as a mother, you have to return to work after 6-8 months. However, the daycares for the kids are free after the age of 2, and the grandparents don’t live nearby or even in the same country. As a private English teacher, I work with kids and see overwhelmed and burnt-out kids every day. Be calm, be happy, be a kid, but they are in the schools until 3 pm, and after that starts the sports practices, the dance lessons, the private lessons (Maths, English, German, Biology, name it and they do it), plus the homework and we surprised when the kids are burnt-out at age 12. Not to mention the graduation periods…Jeez… they’re only 18 years old and they have so much pressure on their shoulders.

Work-life balance is just an illusion in the world. Unless you create one for yourself. I’ve been there, done that. Trust me, hard and sucks, but it’s possible. How do we start to do that?

  1. Time management is essential. The problem is that in our early years in school, we learn that everything has the same importance, which isn’t true. I don’t care if you are a student or an employee, you have to manage your time. And to do that, you must know your timeline. It means that I need 1 hour in the morning to get ready. Doesn’t matter how hard I try, I cannot be 100% during the day without my 1-hour morning prep. How long do you need? Don’t try to put 2 hours’ work in a one-hour timeframe and then be stressed out because you are not done yet.
  1. Prioritise. Multitasking is a very nice and fancy world in our lives, and that’s why we are stressed. That’s what’s expected from us. But the human brain was never wired to do a million things at once, and especially not perfectly. This is the biggest BS in the modern world. Not all the subjects are equally important at school. Come on, don’t tell me that art classes have the same importance in your college application as Maths or the languages? Unless, of course, you want to be an artist, but then Maths doesn’t matter that much. Same in your workplace. Trust me, not all 100 emails have the same priority. John’s “thank you email” will not bring 1 million for the company, but if you don’t answer the biggest client’s email, it can cost that much. So forget the multitasking and prioritise regarding the importance of the company, your life, your mood on that day, your lifestyle or the period you are in it. I used to work in a bar, and my mentor told me that, and since then, I live my life like this: “Step by step, and day by day.”
  1. Delegate. I know it’s hard to say, especially if someone is a perfectionist (like me), but you don’t have to do everything alone. Ask your friends for the exam items, so you don’t have to do them. Or ask your colleagues to help you. Women!!! You don’t have to do all the housework alone. Because your spouses, partner lives in the same house, they can help as well. I don’t say that from now on our other half should do everything, but we cannot die if we ask them from time to time for some help. We will not be less super women, just more clever. Share the housework. Discuss who likes to do what and share. I have bad news: no one is a mindreader, so if you don’t ask, you will never get the help. Just ask. Remember Smarter than harder.

Once we have a bit more time, please use it to get some rest. We will not miss anything if sometimes we do what feels good for us and say no to an event, or we just delay our so-called important obligations. Have some fun. Sometimes, I sit down and brainstorm all the things that I loved to do when I was a kid, and I do at least one item from the list. Fun, joy and happiness make us feel alive. Play like the kids. 

Create boundaries and try to focus on yourself instead of trying to please everyone around you. I know, I said this a million times, but still true: At the end of the day, you will be alone in your bed with your emotions. No one can feel your feelings, not even your partners, friends, family…only you. 

Summertime has so much magic regarding our mental health. Go for a walk in nature, go for a holiday, spend as much time as possible with your loved ones, take a night swim in the lake, go for a horse ride, have a picnic, take a day off and get lost in the woods, just go outside and enjoy the wonder around you. 

So SpitFire Up, and please take care of yourself. Summer is the best time of the year to create new and joyful habits.😘 And if you need more support, book a free 30-minute consultation, and we will see how to continue. ❤

Oh, and please don’t forget: You don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: Please follow me here, on Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest.

Facebook: @SpiritSpitfires

Instagram: @spiritofspitfires

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“5 questions that help you find your purpose”

🎁 Free Workbook to Find Your Life Purpose

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“5 questions that will take you closer to your life purpose – Workbook”

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Inner Teenager

Hello Guys,

Finally, it’s almost Summer!🥰 The flowers are blossoming, the weather is warm, and nature is colourful. What else do we need? Well, so many things, but I am waking up from my “Winter sleep”. I feel the energy!!! 😅 Every Summer feels like the Summers in my teenage years. (Not the prehistoric times, just the wild ‘90s and ‘00s. 😅)

In the past 1,5 years since I moved back to Hungary, almost every single week, I have had at least one realisation regarding me, my actions, reactions, emotions, habits, etc. A few months ago, I went through my pictures. During the process, when I had just found my favourite teenage picture of myself, someone messaged me… and I didn’t like the message.🤷‍♀️ I immediately became very offensive, upset, and insecure at the same time, like the girl in the image. I looked at the picture and realised that the Universe wanted to message me. The message was loud and clear: You acted from your “inner teenager”. Nothing wrong with that if you can catch yourself when you go “back” to that state of your life. The problem starts when you have no idea what inner teenager means or if this state can exist in you. And most of us don’t have. 

Why? Simple. Usually, when we work on ourselves, we focus on the inner child and its wounds or the adult problem-solving and/or trauma healing process. But what about the teenage traumas? I tried to find some literature for this post, but not many authors, psychologists, or scientists discuss the fact that we all had teenage years with all their traumas. We know how adults and our environment’s behaviour shapes us as kids, but what about the years when we are confused and lost? Of course, so many of our traumas are from our childhood, and we are busy focusing on them, but what about the trauma that losing our first love can cause? The trauma that everyone wants us to decide what we want to do for the rest of our life, when we should choose a University right after graduation? What about the traumas that your identity searching can cause, or the pain that is caused by rejection of your age group? No one is talking about these kinds of traumas. 

It’s basic psychology that when the kids turn 11-12 years old, the person of reference is no longer the adults around them. Teenagers no longer care about their parents’ opinions or want to impress their teachers. They don’t want to hang out with their grandparents. The only thing that matters is their age group’s opinion. They start to care about what their friends say, do or how they behave, because they want to be part of the group. That’s why the environment around them during these years is so important. Also, that’s the time when they are not kids anymore, but still not adults. They try to find their identity and figure out who they want to be. An average kid at the age of 18 must graduate from high school and apply to a university. The kids have to decide what they want to do for the rest of their lives. This causes so much pressure, confusion, and these are the age when they start to develop anxiety. If the parents have an imagination of what the kid should become and push it too hard, even worse. I have so many friends who graduated from university with a diploma that they never used, just because that was the expectation from their parents. Lawyers who never practised, financial experts who never worked one day in the financial sector. Only because the parents had their imagination regarding their kids’ future. But they just wanted the best for their children, so I don’t want anyone to blame their parents. They all had good attention. 

I’m sure we all remember our first loves. The butterflies in our belly, the pink clouds and the excitement before a date or even when we see the loved one. All the first dates, first kisses, first handholdings, and don’t be unrealistic, our first sexual experiences. So we felt all these beautiful, happy feelings…but when it ends (and most of the time it ends)… it is the first big disappointment. We cry, we have no idea how to get through to this loss, and everyone around us is just keep telling us that all will be okay, and this was only our first love, and better is coming. Sure…but we don’t know when, and we start to screen ourselves, what is wrong with us. We want to find what we have done wrong. Which is nothing, this is just life, but most of the parents instead teaching the teenagers how to morn a relationship and help them go through the stages, they just smiling and wants them to move on as soon as possible and focus on their studies and career instead of crying about a boy or girl. (Again, it isn’t the parents’ fault or they aren’t evil, they want the best, but no one told them these things either. These are the patterns that they’ve learnt from their parents.)

What about the social media’s effect on teenagers? Competition and bullying. Teenagers are comparing themselves to the influencers, and as they are still not adults, just big kids, they bully each other, but this bullying is online, so the whole world can see someone’s humiliation. Not to mention the fashion trends, and because of the importance of the brands, how much money do they have in their wallets, and the family’s financial situation?

So no one ever speaks about this kind of trauma. People don’t think that this is trauma. They don’t think about how important these experiences are. Unconsciously, we belittle the teenagers’ feelings and thoughts. Yes, these ages are the “drama ages” where they are angrier, their hormones are up and down all the time, and they overexpress themselves, but their feelings are just as valid as any other people’s. 

I think we should, and we could help them to get through these phases easily and quickly with compassion, therapy or with life coaching techniques. There are some easy exercises to help them choose their career path or give them reasons to care. We shouldn’t just let them figure it out alone or decide for them, we just need to listen to them and hold their hands, instead of judging every step they take.

What does it mean to act from your inner teenager? Like every human being, we are all different, and we experience our teenage years quite differently. I would say that when you act like a rebellious 18-year-old, without slamming the doors (or sometimes with the door thing too). I remember when I was a teenager, I was so needy, spoiled by my friends, my ego was bigger than Mount Everest, I was very arrogant, and I sought attention from all the boys around me. I wanted to be a Queen, but to be honest, I acted like a bad Disney princess. So when my inner teenager is out (called X-Tina- I know…so pathetic, but that’s how everyone called me back in the days, because I wanted them to call me like that🤦‍♀️), I realise it immediately because I become needy, hysterical, seeking attention and if I not get it…well, proper B@tch is on duty. (With a capital B!) But all of these reactions are coming from insecurity, loneliness, lack of confidence, envy, and not feeling valued enough. I have been working a lot lately on my teenage traumas; however, some have not yet been solved or properly dealt with. But that’s okay. We’re human, and self-development is a lifelong journey. 

So, how to deal with an uncontrolled teenager? Easy, as you deal with a normal one.

  1. Accept the fact that you’re in your teenage mood. It can be so hard, because we think that after a certain age, we automatically become not just physically, but mentally, adults too. 
  2. Gather so much patience. You’ll need it. 
  3. Identify the problem. “Which button was pushed?” What do you feel? Why do you feel what you feel? 
  4. Try to convince (good luck) yourself that you’re a grown-up now and all those fears are outdated, and let go of them. It can be a very long procedure, and maybe some of them are even deeper than you think, but be patient and take your time. Take as long as it needs.
  5. Go out and celebrate… even like when you were a teenager. 😉

I believe we all have our inner child, inner-teenager, and our adult self inside of us. My opinion is that these three shouldn’t fight against each other, because we need all three to be in our everyday life. We should let them team up and work together to conquer the world. 

So pull out your wild-legged jeans, with a crop top, put Spice Girls on speaker and SpitFire up your inner teen!😘

Oh, and please don’t forget: You don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: Please follow me here, on Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest.

Facebook: @SpiritSpitfires

Instagram: @spiritofspitfires

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Várok mindenkit sok szeretettel 2025. Május 2-án, pénteken, 17.00-tól a Fókuszban a fókusz című előadássorozat első részével Online!

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XOXO,

Krisz😘😘

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“Mirror, mirror on the wall…”

Hello Lovelies,

I know each one of you is now confused about this sentence. And that’s okay. 😅 I’ll explain it very soon. First, I wanted to let you know that the website is still in progress with the Life Coach and Motivational speech options, but it will be available soon. Until then, if you need help because you are stuck in your life and have no idea what to do, you can contact me on the social media platforms below. Feel free to drop me a message and I am happy to help! 🥰

However, I have something to share with you. I had a conversation last week (well, not one) that just stuck in my brain or actually, the fact that the person I advised never heard about the “Mirror technique or affect”. Maybe you never heard of that or do not fully understand what it means. Don’t worry, my mentor and very good friend talked to me about the “Mirror” for years while I finally realised its true meaning. Anyway, this is one of the easiest life-changing techniques I have ever heard. “Everyone in your life is a mirror!” But is it true?🤔

Here is the good news: yes and no! But first, we need to clarify other things. Everyone who is around us is a mirror. Their behaviour, skills, and emotions resonate with our frequency. Everyone and everything has a frequency and that’s how we attract people or stuff in our life. Based on our rezonation we choose our friends, relationships even our work. Most of the time we have either a positive or negative vibe. But how is it attached to the mirror? 

For example, you have a friend, who is always complaining, that nothing is good, but he/she pretends that everything is fine. In the beginning, you became friends because you were on the same frequency. (Sorry, but that’s the harsh truth.) If you don’t start to look at him or her as a mirror, you are not bothered. You are the same, it is a beautiful relationship, but neither of you understands why things are always “bad”. Then you start to read my blog, do the tricks and hacks, I share and your frequency starts to rise and you feel more positive, you attract positive people and one day, you just release that the friend we mentioned previously became so annoying. You don’t understand what happened, but you don’t want to spend time with him or her. You feel overwhelmed after every coffee you share. And here the “mirror” comes. Why this person bothers me? What is in his/her behaviour that makes me uncomfortable? Most of the time they say that you changed and you are the one who is annoying and unreliable. You start to see that this person is gossiping all the time, negative and nothing is good. And that’s the point where you have to stop and look in the mirror. Because if it bothers you means you have something to do with those things. They reflect your behaviour and actions. Are you complaining all the time? Do you like gossiping? Are you happy and satisfied with your life? 

If the answer is yes to all those questions, you have to start working on yourself and find the root cause of your behaviour. Because no one can make you feel anything. Your feelings are yours and yours only. So if someone’s behaviour bothers you most likely you act in the same way. Maybe you think that your life is perfect, but you still find things about to complain. Why? Where do those feelings come from?

But if the answer is no to the questions, means that you have nothing to do with the other person’s actions. They are not the reflection of you. Simply they can have a bad day and they reflect their frustration on you. Or you may outgrow them. Your frequency no longer matches theirs. Maybe they are jealous of your success or the things you achieved. Or you envy them about something. 

I also advise my “clients”, the people I work with in their self-development, to first stop and take a breath. Look at the person who said or done the things that are bothering them. Is this person truly important enough to me? Even if the answer is no, the next questions are mandatory. Is this true? Do I act the way they say? If the answer is no to both questions, well you have nothing to do with the situation. But if it is yes, you have to ask other questions. Why this thing bothers me? What do I feel? Where do these feelings come from? Why do I behave this way? Can I change? Do I want to change?

After we find the answers to all those questions, we’ll be able to start to work on the solutions. No matter what you are working on, the first step is always to identify the problem. Once it is done, you need to know the root cause to start working on the strategy that leads you to the full solution. 

One more thing I wanted to tell you. Even if you sort out one problem in your life, others will come. Life never stops happening. Sometimes the same problems come back in a different form and you have to start the process again. You have to look in the mirror and do everything again from the beginning. Our behaviours, reactions, and patterns are not something that we were born with. We learnt them during our years on Earth. If you are 35 years “young” just like me, you have done something in a way in the past 35 years. That behavior will not gone in two, three, four, etc. weeks just because you work on it once. Self-development is a lifelong process. Each behaviour, emotion or pattern change depends on the person, the circumstances, the time, the environment, etc. Some of them we can get rid of in two weeks, but the deeper ones need much more time. You created them in 35 years, so they will not disappear in a second.

And yes, sometimes you need help. You need a person who can see you from the outside. Someone who just sits and listens to you without judgment, in a safe environment, where you can be yourself and everything is about you and your process. So many people said, “Why need a therapist or life coach when I have friends?” well, true, but your friends need to talk about themselves too. Most of the time they don’t want to hurt your feelings and that’s why they are not honest. They cannot see you objectively, because they are involved in your life. Plus they desperately want to help and give you all the cliche pieces of advice. Come on we all heard at least once in our life after a break up that “He wasn’t good enough for you. It’s his loss. Just let go.” Thank you, Einsteins!!!! Seriously, no kidding Sherlock?! 🙄That’s why sometimes we need help from outside of our circle.

The “mirror” technique is the best way to see ourselves. If the other person in the mirror is not who we want to see, well, we have a chance to change. But we always need to stop first and check who is the one who said that thing and what they say, because there is a possibility that we are their mirror and not the other way around. When I first heard about this, I started to monitor all my interactions with other people and I got terrified about myself. Some of them were true. I was arrogant, selfish, hysterical, bitchy, judgemental, critical, etc. And some of them had nothing to do with me. But because I heard that “Everyone is a mirror”, I started to believe that I am a terrible person. Now I know that there are moments when you are the mirror to the other person.

One last thing is crucial to talk about. Not just everyone, but everything is a mirror. So if you say that someone around you does something that you do not agree with, either you envy that thing or you do it the same way. Life/Universe/God wants to show you one of your core beliefs. Let’s say that your friend has so much money and you think, it’s easy for him or her because… Now here it is. Mirror. I want that money that easy, so I am jealous, but my core belief is that I must work hard to get a little bit of money. Or when you say “money just comes and goes” and you are surprised that the money goes all the time… Honey, of course, it goes, because you never said that it stays. See what I mean? Your friend’s lifestyle and the fact that you want this showed you the block in your life.

It’s hard to look in the mirror because shows us the truth about ourselves. But trust me it’s worth it. As soon as you accept that you are not perfect and never will be, you can start the work to become the person you want to be. You can be anyone if you want to and if you work for it. Achieving our biggest dreams is never easy, but nothing is impossible. 

As Audrey Hepburn said: “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says: I’m-Possible.”

I hope it helps you to SpitFire up, look in the mirror with pride and adore the person inside of it because everyone is imperfectly perfect. I honestly love you all!!! ❤

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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25 life lessons from the past twelve months

Hello guys,

I hope you are well and enjoying the last few days of the 2024 Summer! 😊

So yesterday was the first anniversary of my move back to Hungary and many things happened during the past 12 months. The most repeated question in my life is: Do you regret moving back from London? Well, I had ups and downs, I had to throw away many of my “Plans” and almost nothing went according to my “Master Plan”, but I have learnt a lot. I have learnt from myself, my friends, my family, my life, the life back home, people I have left in London, work, challenges, etc. So instead of telling you all the ups and downs, I just want to focus on the lessons I have learnt, so maybe you will benefit from them too. Because I think these help us grow and be better.

So here are my 25+1 life lessons from the past 12 months: 

  1. My nephew’s smile is the best cure for everything. 😇
  2. It’s worth it to be brave and go out of your nutshell and try new things.
  3. If someone wants to see you, they will find the time and opportunity. (Even if they travel around Europe!) 😉
  4. You do not need so much money to organise a kids’ party.
  5. I still look cute in my Santa hat. 🤶
  6. Time with your family and friends you cannot buy on money.
  7. I can be happy alone too.
  8. Walk 8000 steps or more and you lose 5kg under 2 months. 😉
  9. No matter how kind, good-looking, nice or helpful you are, you will always have haters. And that’s okay because it means you doing good.👠
  10. Let people judge you. You have nothing to do with their opinion. You are not equal with the things people say or think about you.
  11. Sunset is ALWAYS magical. Every day is the same and every day is different.
  12. The beach is my happy place. It calms my mind and helps me to let go of things that no longer serve me.
  13. A 70-year-old random lady can become one of the nicest friends ever.🥰
  14. You must go out, especially when you want the less.
  15. Someone will never change because they do not want to. Let them be and try to avoid contact with them or cut them out if possible. 
  16. I can’t/won’t and want to save everyone. Everyone has to take responsibility for their actions. I do not have to fix everything and everyone.
  17. If you want something, believe it, work hard for it and if it is meant for you to have it, you will. Just try never to give up.
  18. Music is the best therapy!!!!! (No more comment, that’s it!) 👨‍🎤🎸
  19. Hungary isn’t so cold during the Winter, but the snow is magical. ❄
  20. Have a healthy diet, take care of your body and shape, BUT… absolutely unacceptable and even I think it should be charged the people who don’t eat lángos, chimney cake and drink beer during the Summer, next to the Balaton!!!! That’s it! No excuse! Sorry! Seriously, who hurt you in your childhood??? 🤣😝
  21. When you are 35 years old or above, you cannot party 3 nights in a row. Nope! Trust me, I have tested this theory for you guys! 😅 (By the way, you’re welcome!😂) (If you can, you are my Hero and please message me the secret😅)
  22. Nothing will go according to “The Plan”, but be excited about what better things will come.
  23. Seeing old friends helps you close parts of your past you thought that they are closed already and warms your heart.
  24. You never know when you meet new friends. Some will stay and some will not and that’s okay. Most of our friends are only for a season and not for a lifetime. Be grateful for the time together and when/if the time has come, release them. Everyone is just a passenger in our life. 
  25. You need to be careful because people understand the language you speak. (Long, funny, but so embarrassing story, not today.)😅

+1: Be excited for the future and try not to control everything in your life. Shit will happen and it’s okay. Feel bad, be angry, cry, do whatever feels good. Stop, relax and then kick your ass (or if you are a woman, straighten your crown), Spitfire up and move forward! If you believe it much better things will come than you can ever imagine!👑

Oh, and please don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: Thank you for the pancake offers guys, you are amazing!!!!!!!! I am so grateful for your kindness! 🤣

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Positive Projects

Görgess le a magyar változat olvasásához! 😘

Hello Guys,

I hope you are having the time of your life. It feels like Summer started in Hungary. 30 degrees, sunshine, the birds are chirping and the sky is the most amazing blue you can imagine. 😊

Okay, before you start to hate me about the quick forecast, I’ll let you know why I am here today. So as I mentioned in my last posts I have a “huge project” on my plate so that was why I was off the radar. Now it turns out that I finished that project, and I have a couple more. 😅 Don’t worry hopefully these projects will benefit you too.

So I have done my B2 English exam and now I would like to start to teach or help kids in English. I attached the details below, so you can find them if you are interested. Now I started to do a pedagogical assistant course and hopefully, I’ll have my exam in November. I know, now you asking “But why should I care about these things?” and you are right. You shouldn’t unless you have a kid and need some help with English, BUT what it is about you guys is the fact that I would like to create a Facebook Group for all the SpirFires around the world where you can talk to each other and share your wisdom. Also, I am planning to create a new site here called “Positive Academy” where I would like to share some tools with you which hopefully can help to be more positive. My goal is to build a community for us. A safe place where you can communicate and together try to solve everyday issues. 

Another new thing is that I’ll do this not just in English but in Hungarian too. I never wanted to write Hungarian, but so many of my friends and family members asked for it and I feel now is the time that I start to do it. All my posts will be uploaded in Hungarian too. You can communicate in whichever language you wish in the Facebook Group too.

The daily positive quotes will be back tomorrow (that one will be kept in English. Sorry guys but way too much work to translate them to Hungarian). These will be posted on all my social media, so please follow me there too. And some things will be available only on those platforms.

Furthermore, I attached my Life coaching certificates because I wish to start practising as a Life coach. I have done those courses but I never felt enough brave to work in them. I thought who would listen to me, who would be curious about what I could offer. Now I put my big girl’s pants on and show up. My dream has always been to help people navigate their lives and I believe I can. I wish to make this site as interactive as it can be. Throughout our difficulties, we can help each other to grow. By sharing our stories we can learn. And sometimes we just need to know that we are not alone.

So I’ll do the technical base on these things and I would like to ask for help. I want you to send me a DM on social media or in the comments here (even you can send an email to spiritofspitfires@gmail.com, and I’ll try to answer within 24 hours to everyone.) and let me know what would you like to hear. Which subjects do you want me to dig in? How can I help you more? What things bother you?

Also, if you want to have individual sessions, please drop me a line anywhere and I’ll contact you and we can discuss the details. Or if you want to have group sessions and there will be enough people I am more than happy to do so. 

Please let me know if you have any questions! I hope these changes will benefit all of us. As soon as I have the “Positive Academy” section here and the Facebook Group I will let you know. I will also update you on how things are going on in my Hungarian life. 😎Be brave together and help each other.

Until that SpitFire up and enjoy the Summer because it is here for sure.🤗

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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Magyarul!!!!!

Helló Mindenki,

Remélem, jól vagytok és szuperül telnek a napjaitok. Megjött a nyár,  30 fok, napsütés, a madarak csiripelnek, és az ég a legcsodálatosabb kék, amit csak el tudtok képzelni. 😊

Oké, mielőtt meggyűlölnétek a rövid kis előrejelzés miatt, elmondom, miért vagyok ma itt. Tehát, ahogy az előző bejegyzéseimben említettem, egy “hatalmas projekten” dolgoztam, ezért nem posztoltam olyan sokat. Most kiderült, hogy befejeztem ezt a projektet, de jó pár újabb került a helyére. 😅 Pánikra semmi ok, nem csak mert ura vagyok a helyzetnek (legalább is ebben reménykedek), hanem mert ezek remélhetőleg nektek is hasznosak lesznek.

Tehát elvégeztem a B2 angol nyelvvizsgámat, és most szeretnék angolt tanítani illetve korrepetálni a gyerkőcöket. (Lent megtaláltok minden részletet ezzel kapcsolatben) Most kezdtem el egy pedagógiai asszisztens tanfolyamot, és remélhetőleg novemberben lesz a vizsgám. Tudom, most azt kérdezitek: “És minket ez hol kéne, hogy éredekljen?”, és igazatok is van. Nem kéne, hacsak nincs gyereketek akinek segítségre van szükségre lenne szüksége angoluból, DE ami a lényeg, az az a tény, hogy szeretnék létrehozni egy Facebook csoportot a világ összes SpirFire-je számára, ahol beszélgethettek és megoszthatjátok ügyes bajos dolgaitokat amikre megpróbálunk együtt megoldást találni. Azt is tervezem, hogy létrehozok egy új szekciót itt a blogon “Pozitív Akadémia” néven, ahol szeretnék megosztani veletek néhány technikát, amelyek remélhetőleg segíthetnek pozitívabbá válni. A célom az ezzel, hogy eg szuper segítőkész közösséget hozzak létre mindannyiunknak.  Egy biztonságos hely, ahol , és együtt mekommunikálhatunk és megpróbálhatjuk megoldani a mindennapi problémákat, közösen.

A másik újdonság, hogy ezt nem csak angolul, hanem magyarul is meg fogom csinálni. Soha nem akartam magyarul írni, de nagyon sok barátom és családtagom kérte, és úgy érzem, itt az ideje, hogy elkezdjem. Minden bejegyzésem magyar nyelven is feltöltésre kerül. (Kezdve ezzel. 😅) Plusz a Facebook csoportban is bármilyen nyelven kommunikálhattok.

A napi pozitív idézetek holnap visszatérnek (Ez marad angolul. Bocsi srácok, de túl sok munka lefordítani őket magyarra, újra szerkesztei a képeket, stb. Szóval Google továbbra is a barátotok marad ezen a téren.😘). Ezeket közzé fogom tenni az összes közösségi médiámon, ezért kérlek, kövess engem ott is. Néhány dolog csak ezeken a platformokon lesz elérhető.

Továbbá megtaláljátok a Life coaching bizonyítványaimat, mert szeretném magam kipróbálni ebben is. Elvégeztem ezeket a tanfolyamokat, de soha nem éreztem magam elég bátornak ahhoz, hogy dolgozzak benne. Gondoltam, ki hallgat rám, ki lesz kíváncsi arra, hogy mit tudok nyújtani. Most viszont úgy döntöttem, hogy nem hagyom a félelmeimnek, hogy megbénítsanak, szóval felkötöttem a gatyát és itt vagyok. Mindig is az volt az álmom, hogy segítsek az embereknek eligazodni az életükben, és hiszem, hogy képes vagyok rá. Szeretném ezt az oldalt a lehető leginteraktívabbá tenni. Nehézségeink közepette segíthetünk egymásnak a fejlődésben. Történeteink megosztásával tanulhatunk és néha csak az kell, hogy tudjuk nem vagyunk egyedül a problémánkkal a Nagy Világban.

Tehát én elkezdem megteremteni a technikai alapokat a felsoroltakhoz, de szeretnék segítséget kérni. Szeretném, ha küldenétek nekem üzenetet a közösségi médiában vagy az itteni megjegyzésekben(comment gomb lent) (akár e-mailt is küldhettek a  spiritofspitfires@gmail.com email címre, és megpróbálok 24 órán belül válaszolni mindenkinek.), és mondjátok el, hogy miről szeretnétek ha többet írnék. Milyen témákban szeretnétek, hogy beleássam magam? Hogyan segíthetek többet? Milyen dolgok zavarnak?

Továbbá, ha egyéni foglalkozásokat szeretnétek, légyszi, írjatok privátban, és megbeszéljük a részleteket. Vagy ha csoportos foglalkozásokat szeretnétek, hogy tartsak, és elég ember lesz, örömmel megteszem.

Kérlek benneteket, ha bármilyen kérdesetek van szóljatok nyugodtan! Remélem, hogy ezek a változások mindannyiunk javát szolgálják majd. Amint itt van a “Pozitív Akadémia” szekció és a Facebook csoport, tudatni fogom veletek. Arról is tájékoztatni foglak benneteket, hogyan zajlanak a dolgok az életemben itthon. 😎Legyünk bátrak együtt és segítsük egymást.

Addig is élvezzétek a nyarat és várom a javaslataitokat. 😘

Ó, és kérlek, ne feledd: nem kell mindig erősnek lenned ahhoz, hogy hős legyél.🤗

XOXO,

Krisz 😘

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The Start

Hello Guys,

I hope you are well and enjoying the lovely Spring weather. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about what to write. So many things have happened since I last wrote to you. Luckily, there are many nice things, but I decided to talk more about the past. I have left my moving to London story before the actual flight. (You can read the first part The Beginning and the second part The Preparation here.) Back in Hungary, I realised that I must explain my years in the city to understand what is happening in my life right now. So here is the third and last part of this story. I hope you will enjoy it.

In January 2013, we arrived at London, Luton airport. That was the first, I had ever been on a plane. I was scared and sad. I was excited, but I felt sorrow to leave everything and everyone I knew behind. Luckily, my best friend was with me. A silver Mercedes Benz waited at the airport to take us to our new home. I remember it was snowing in Hungary and bright sunshine in London. 

We arrived at Wood Green, which is a not-too-nice part of London (zone 3, North London). Our new home was a shared house. 9 people, including us, lived in a 5 bedroom, 2 toilets, one bathroom and a small kitchen house with a tiny garden (at that moment looked like the garden was a rubbish place). There were couples, older people, young guys… we felt lost. Our room (because do not dream about that you have your own flat first you arrive in London unless you have at least a year’s savings, which we never had) was small, with a double bed and a cupboard… that’s it. Well, we had only one suitcase each, so we did not need it in a bigger place, but still, it felt so claustrophobic. The housemates were not nice. They were a bunch of people who lived next to each other. 

The next day, we had an appointment at the lettings agency’s office on Halloway Road. It was a couple of miles away from us, so we decided to walk there. As I said we were naive as Hell. We did not have mobile internet or GPS on the phone and we had no idea where we were. After a couple of minutes galavanting on the street, we asked a girl at the bus stop where is Holloway Road. She was Hungarian luckily, but she wasn’t sure. Either way, that girl was kind enough to help go to Wood Green station and buy a weekly bus-only oyster card (an oyster card is a kind of travel card, which you can top up, weekly, monthly, for zones, only for the bus or including tube and every other TFL services) and told us that 29 bus will take us to Trafalgar Square and that’s the bus route we need to get to the agency’s office. 

We managed to find the office and sorted out our letting contract, plus they gave us a list of the job agencies. We thought we were fine, we would visit all the agencies during the next couple of days and everything would be just perfect. But life isn’t and wasn’t that easy, at least not back in January 2013.

Here I wish to stop and before I continue the story, I would like to mention a teeny-tiny issue that we discovered. I thought that I spoke English because back in high school my lovely teachers taught me and I had amazing grades… well, what you learn in the school in Hungary has nothing to do with the actual language that people speak in England especially not in London. Let me explain. What you learn in the schools is the “perfect” literature English, instead in England most of the born Britts do not speak properly their mother tongue. There are many slang and figures of speech that you who study this amazing language never learn in school. Not to mention the fact that London is a huge mix of people come from different countries, cultures, races, and religions, which is beautiful and helped me a lot to accept people around me the way they are, but in the meantime, everyone uses their mother tongue melted in the English they speak. So until you just learn a language and not live it, you cannot say that you speak it.

Now back to our first full day in London. We thought that we were done for the day, so we bought some toast and salami (we had to pay the deposit the first week in advance, so we did not have left money to buy anything else) and spoke with our family on Skype… well, Life thought otherwise. We found the 29 bus back to Wood Green destination, but when we arrived, we had no idea where we were. We had no idea how to find our street with our house in it. We tried to ask people, but they had no idea either or they just ignored us. So the only thing we came up with was to call my brother, back in his Hungarian High School. Why him? Because he was in colleague and we knew that in the dorm they have internet access, he can check the map. We told him that we were standing in front of a building called Wood Green Crown Court and our address of course. He navigated us back to our house from Hungary. 😅 

The agency said that we were lucky because we had an appointment to get our NI number (TB number in Hungary) the next day at the Camden Job Centre. We knew which bus we had to use from Wood Green and drop off at Camden Station ( we had no idea how many variations exist of the “Camden” bus stop, but let’s slow down 😅). The only thing we didn’t know that which side of the road we had to catch the bus. After a while, we realised that we were going in the wrong direction as we picked the bus on the wrong side, so we had to drop off and catch the other bus. The good thing about London is that buses and tubes come every minute or so, but we were way too far from Camden to make it on time to the appointment. Anyway, we tried. 

Once we saw the first “Camden” bus stop (which was still a 15-minute walk from the one we needed) we just left the bus and started to run like no tomorrow. But we were unable to find the Job Centre. Here is another fun fact about how different London and Hungary are. The Job Centres in Hungary usually take place in a nice, old historical building which you can never miss, but instead in London, they look just like a chicken shop in the corner. So in the end, it became cold, it started to rain and we were lost in Camden Town. We called the agency and asked them to make another appointment and begged them to try and tell us where the Job Centre is. They were laughing at us and they said that no one ever lost in Camden or was unable to find the place. But in the end, we found it. I remember we had our lunch (sandwiches made at home) in a park and we decided to see Trafalgar Square as we saw our life-saving bus, the iconic 29. That bus was our guide for so long after that. So we were freezing, wet, humiliated, lost, sad and miserable, but we saw the famous Trafalgar Square first in our life. We had no idea how many memories would be attached to that place in the future and how the square would become one of the most important places for us, a bit of a centre point not just for that large city, but for our lives too.

The next couple of weeks was quite the same. We woke up early, got ready, grabbed the bus and visited all the agencies on our list. We started to know better the city, understand more about the places, the public transportation (only buses because we had no money to pay for the tube), the people around us and how things are working in London. Our housemates told us about the cleaning agency where they worked, so we went there and my best friend finally got a job there as a night cleaner. A few nights later he called me and I was able to start there too. That was our first job. I do not wish to tell the name of the agency, but we became night cleaners in one of the Michelin-star restaurants in London, called The Delaney. Our supervisor was a young Polish guy, who grew up in the city and he helped me a lot to learn the language. He sat next to me for hours to make sure that I could tell what I wanted. The job just came on time. I will never forget the night before our first payday. It was a Thursday evening. We used our two-week deposit so we had to pay the rent on Sunday or at least one week otherwise the agency said that we would be homeless. That night was our off night ( we worked 6 nights a week and only one was off). We decided to see Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, the Parlament and the London Eye (from outside of course). The weather was nice and we crossed the river Thames on the Hungerford and Golden Jubilee Bridge. We were in the middle of the bridge, the view was breathtaking and we heard a song played by a guy with his guitar. I do not remember the song, but I do remember that we only had 75 pence left in our wallet. No more, no less. We expected our salary the next day morning. At that point, we bought food from the money we found in the restaurant during our shifts. If we did not find anything, we had to portion our bread and butter to make sure we had something to eat every day. But we gave all of our money to this guy on the bridge and just enjoyed the view. The next day we got our first salaries and they were more than we had wished. Not that much, we only be able to pay one week’s rent and we were still a week behind, but we finally could breathe a bit. That’s when things started to be better a bit. It was millions of ups and downs, on the career path, personal relationships and accommodations, but after that, I have not cried every day (maybe every other day 😋) and did not question my decision that much. It will be parts of my past in London that I will share with you guys, but I thought I could not write down every major thing that happened in London because in the end every little thing formed me and needed to help me become who I am and I am unable to write down all of them. So that’s why I decided to write “my diary” under the story of my life” section because I think I can help you more to get through life and all its difficulties during my daily/weekly stories. (Please feel free to let me know if I am wrong. 😅)

Sometimes you have to give everything, leave everything behind, lose almost everything to be able to receive what the Universe wants to give you and those things will be much better than the things you can imagine. We just have to let Life guide us. So SpitFire up and let go of what bothers you. 😘

Oh, and please don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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Bumps on the road

Hello Guys,

I know I haven’t been active in the past few months and first I would like to apologise about this. I am so sorry, but I started another major “Life project” and I am almost finished with it (once I’ve done it, I will tell you all the details, I promise… and no, I am not moving again, this is something different. 😅), so that’s the main reason why I was in total silent.

But, I didn’t want you to think that I bailed on you or I had forgotten about my many promises, because I am not, and also I didn’t want another month to pass by without a word from me. So many nice things happened to me and I have learnt other important lessons and want to share two of them now.

Have you ever felt that December was a magical month and everything finally get it in shape, you were so happy and all of a sudden January just became total crap. Like on New Year’s Eve, someone just flipped the switch and from heaven you landed in hell? Even though you had all the New Year’s resolutions, a lovely list on a nice piece of paper, the year starts with sh@t. Well, this happened to me all the time. In almost all the 35 years I am on Earth, January became not just the longest, but the worst month of the year, after an amazing Christmas time. Like everything is against my resolutions. Until now. I think, I finally figured out the “Mistery of January”. Bumps on the road.

I know, now you are confused, so let me clear the air. 😅 (I am not crazy, or at least not worse than previously.) I thought Life/God was against me and didn’t want me to achieve my goals, so sending me all the signs in January to give up and continue to walk on the path I have been. But It has done nothing, just asked me to confirm if I am willing to do the work, even if sometimes it will be hard. It is all about our mindset. Previously, I convinced myself that these were “bad things” and that I did not deserve something better or different, but in the end, they were just bumps on the road. They are still annoying as Hell, that’s for sure, but we are the ones who can decide how we look at them. We can look at them in the way that these things are against us, or we can see them as guides. Lessons. If we do not give them the power and we only see some bumps that we can pass through, they will look less scary and more manageable. How to handle them? 

  1. Stop for a second (before you start all the drama in your head) and identify that something happened that doesn’t feel comfortable, so it is a “bump on the road”.
  2. Find what this “bump” tries to teach you, or what message it gives you. (Maybe, you have to just “confirm” that you want that thing on your list. Maybe you missed an important detail. You will know for sure. Just listen to your instincts.)

The other lesson that the beginning of the new year taught me came from my amazing friend and mentor. She told me this breathtaking example many times during the years since we knew each other, but this time I finally got it. (As Sansa Stark said in Game of Thrones: “I am a slow learner, that’s true. But I learn.” 😅) 

My friend told me that these unwanted events are nothing more than parents checking on their kids if they are sure about what they want. Like when you go to the store with your kid and let him or her choose one item. When they make their decision you as a parent ask them if they are sure about it, because they will not be able to change their mind, once you paid for the item. Sometimes you even tell them the downside of their choice too, to make sure they are certain. This is what Life does with us when we have the bumps on the road. Just asking us, if we are sure about our choice and sometimes shows us the consequences too. So next time, if you feel that everything is just pilled up, think about it as a bump on the road. Just a simple question from above. Nothing else. No one is against you, no one wants you to fail. Just a test.

In previous years I had my well-written list with all the things I wanted to achieve during the next 12 months, but for the first difficulties, I just gave up and chose the comfortable, easy way and had done nothing. I finally learnt that you cannot change or achieve anything without some discomfort. If you feel the excitement, and scares you, means that you are on your way to change, to get what you want. Because if you do the same things over and over again, you will have the same results. And the new, unknown things will terrify you, but that’s okay. As Cat said in Marry Me: “If you want something different, you have to do something different.” 

So guys trust your guts and don’t be afraid of the bumps on the road. I guarantee you that you will have them, but if you think of them as lessons and tests from the Universe/Life/God however you call it, it will be much easier to pass them. SpitFire up and good luck to identify and go through those little buggers.😘

Oh, and please don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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