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“Mirror, mirror on the wall…”

Hello Lovelies,

I know each one of you is now confused about this sentence. And that’s okay. 😅 I’ll explain it very soon. First, I wanted to let you know that the website is still in progress with the Life Coach and Motivational speech options, but it will be available soon. Until then, if you need help because you are stuck in your life and have no idea what to do, you can contact me on the social media platforms below. Feel free to drop me a message and I am happy to help! 🥰

However, I have something to share with you. I had a conversation last week (well, not one) that just stuck in my brain or actually, the fact that the person I advised never heard about the “Mirror technique or affect”. Maybe you never heard of that or do not fully understand what it means. Don’t worry, my mentor and very good friend talked to me about the “Mirror” for years while I finally realised its true meaning. Anyway, this is one of the easiest life-changing techniques I have ever heard. “Everyone in your life is a mirror!” But is it true?🤔

Here is the good news: yes and no! But first, we need to clarify other things. Everyone who is around us is a mirror. Their behaviour, skills, and emotions resonate with our frequency. Everyone and everything has a frequency and that’s how we attract people or stuff in our life. Based on our rezonation we choose our friends, relationships even our work. Most of the time we have either a positive or negative vibe. But how is it attached to the mirror? 

For example, you have a friend, who is always complaining, that nothing is good, but he/she pretends that everything is fine. In the beginning, you became friends because you were on the same frequency. (Sorry, but that’s the harsh truth.) If you don’t start to look at him or her as a mirror, you are not bothered. You are the same, it is a beautiful relationship, but neither of you understands why things are always “bad”. Then you start to read my blog, do the tricks and hacks, I share and your frequency starts to rise and you feel more positive, you attract positive people and one day, you just release that the friend we mentioned previously became so annoying. You don’t understand what happened, but you don’t want to spend time with him or her. You feel overwhelmed after every coffee you share. And here the “mirror” comes. Why this person bothers me? What is in his/her behaviour that makes me uncomfortable? Most of the time they say that you changed and you are the one who is annoying and unreliable. You start to see that this person is gossiping all the time, negative and nothing is good. And that’s the point where you have to stop and look in the mirror. Because if it bothers you means you have something to do with those things. They reflect your behaviour and actions. Are you complaining all the time? Do you like gossiping? Are you happy and satisfied with your life? 

If the answer is yes to all those questions, you have to start working on yourself and find the root cause of your behaviour. Because no one can make you feel anything. Your feelings are yours and yours only. So if someone’s behaviour bothers you most likely you act in the same way. Maybe you think that your life is perfect, but you still find things about to complain. Why? Where do those feelings come from?

But if the answer is no to the questions, means that you have nothing to do with the other person’s actions. They are not the reflection of you. Simply they can have a bad day and they reflect their frustration on you. Or you may outgrow them. Your frequency no longer matches theirs. Maybe they are jealous of your success or the things you achieved. Or you envy them about something. 

I also advise my “clients”, the people I work with in their self-development, to first stop and take a breath. Look at the person who said or done the things that are bothering them. Is this person truly important enough to me? Even if the answer is no, the next questions are mandatory. Is this true? Do I act the way they say? If the answer is no to both questions, well you have nothing to do with the situation. But if it is yes, you have to ask other questions. Why this thing bothers me? What do I feel? Where do these feelings come from? Why do I behave this way? Can I change? Do I want to change?

After we find the answers to all those questions, we’ll be able to start to work on the solutions. No matter what you are working on, the first step is always to identify the problem. Once it is done, you need to know the root cause to start working on the strategy that leads you to the full solution. 

One more thing I wanted to tell you. Even if you sort out one problem in your life, others will come. Life never stops happening. Sometimes the same problems come back in a different form and you have to start the process again. You have to look in the mirror and do everything again from the beginning. Our behaviours, reactions, and patterns are not something that we were born with. We learnt them during our years on Earth. If you are 35 years “young” just like me, you have done something in a way in the past 35 years. That behavior will not gone in two, three, four, etc. weeks just because you work on it once. Self-development is a lifelong process. Each behaviour, emotion or pattern change depends on the person, the circumstances, the time, the environment, etc. Some of them we can get rid of in two weeks, but the deeper ones need much more time. You created them in 35 years, so they will not disappear in a second.

And yes, sometimes you need help. You need a person who can see you from the outside. Someone who just sits and listens to you without judgment, in a safe environment, where you can be yourself and everything is about you and your process. So many people said, “Why need a therapist or life coach when I have friends?” well, true, but your friends need to talk about themselves too. Most of the time they don’t want to hurt your feelings and that’s why they are not honest. They cannot see you objectively, because they are involved in your life. Plus they desperately want to help and give you all the cliche pieces of advice. Come on we all heard at least once in our life after a break up that “He wasn’t good enough for you. It’s his loss. Just let go.” Thank you, Einsteins!!!! Seriously, no kidding Sherlock?! 🙄That’s why sometimes we need help from outside of our circle.

The “mirror” technique is the best way to see ourselves. If the other person in the mirror is not who we want to see, well, we have a chance to change. But we always need to stop first and check who is the one who said that thing and what they say, because there is a possibility that we are their mirror and not the other way around. When I first heard about this, I started to monitor all my interactions with other people and I got terrified about myself. Some of them were true. I was arrogant, selfish, hysterical, bitchy, judgemental, critical, etc. And some of them had nothing to do with me. But because I heard that “Everyone is a mirror”, I started to believe that I am a terrible person. Now I know that there are moments when you are the mirror to the other person.

One last thing is crucial to talk about. Not just everyone, but everything is a mirror. So if you say that someone around you does something that you do not agree with, either you envy that thing or you do it the same way. Life/Universe/God wants to show you one of your core beliefs. Let’s say that your friend has so much money and you think, it’s easy for him or her because… Now here it is. Mirror. I want that money that easy, so I am jealous, but my core belief is that I must work hard to get a little bit of money. Or when you say “money just comes and goes” and you are surprised that the money goes all the time… Honey, of course, it goes, because you never said that it stays. See what I mean? Your friend’s lifestyle and the fact that you want this showed you the block in your life.

It’s hard to look in the mirror because shows us the truth about ourselves. But trust me it’s worth it. As soon as you accept that you are not perfect and never will be, you can start the work to become the person you want to be. You can be anyone if you want to and if you work for it. Achieving our biggest dreams is never easy, but nothing is impossible. 

As Audrey Hepburn said: “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says: I’m-Possible.”

I hope it helps you to SpitFire up, look in the mirror with pride and adore the person inside of it because everyone is imperfectly perfect. I honestly love you all!!! ❤

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: Please follow me here, on Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest.

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Vitamin sea

XOXO,

Krisz, 😘

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Love is a bridge …

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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Music is medicine

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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When life gives you lemon…

aka 5 ingredients to start making the Life Lemonade.

Hello Guys,

I hope you are all well and having so much fun, now the weather is getting better and Summer is slowly, but surely coming. 😊 I know I haven’t posted again for a while, but so many things happened and I did not feel to come and write about them. This blog is basically a positive blog, but in the last few weeks, I had ups and downs. Don’t get me wrong, nothing terrible happened, but things did not go the way I planned them (aka life happened). I did not want to share these with you, but after yesterday, I thought maybe it can help someone. Maybe my feelings at the moment can be the one thing that makes it easier for others. I don’t know, but even if you just laugh a lot, it was worth it to write down.

I am not going into details, because it would be so long and I do not wish to share everything, but I will tell my thoughts and feelings.

Did you ever have the feeling that you planned everything, it was a perfect plan, you worked for it so hard, harder than ever, and you made what you possibly can and even more… and all of a sudden, the end was a huge NO from the Life? You gave all your heart, you had a plan, and you had a huge why, so just swallowed everything for months and months, because you were sure that if you do, you get what you want. You were the most positive person ever, you felt, you got this, and you put all your heart into it, and in the end… nothing…even if you know for 100% you deserved it. When life gives you that famous lemon.

Well, after all the ups and downs during the last couple of weeks, that’s what I felt yesterday. I worked for something so hard, I gave all my heart, and the answer was no.  I felt so down and I was pissed off. When I stopped for a second of my own “inner drama theater” and finally let the “drama queen” rest in me, I realized so many things… and that’s why I write this post to you.

  1.  I realized that I do not feel sorry about the thing I did not get… The only thing I was sorry for is myself because all my plans went down into the loo.
  2. I didn’t even want that particular thing… I just wanted the easiness which came with it.
  3. I am the one who did not appreciate myself. I have expectations. Remember when I wrote about these things? Well, I did not read and took the bits of advice I just gave it to you guys. (I should probably read more often than write. 😅)

I found out many more things, but I thought these are the most important. So the question is what do I do with these things? Don’t get me wrong I am still not positive and that’s okay. It will take time (so much time), but at least I started to get better. So here are my 5 steps to start making the Life Lemonade:

  1. I accepted that it is okay to feel peace of shit at the moment- Take the Lemons what Life offered. (And yes, the Bridget Jones’ diaries with vanilla ice cream are absolutely acceptable in this situation, so go for it!!!! 😉)
  2. I felt all the feelings- Cut and squeeze the Lemons.

I cried, I was angry, I shouted out loud, I vent out my feelings, etc. Doesn’t matter what, you have to feel it. No one can be positive always and especially not when you feel you wish to have a dragon that can solve the whole problem with a word (dracharys). If you try to be positive in these situations when you feel down, you force yourself and you make a huge resistance, which will cause you a much bigger problem later. Also, it would not be positivity, it would be stupidity. Seriously, to smile even if you are swimming in the deepest shit is the stupidest thing ever.

  1. I released the negative feelings (at least I started to release them).- Add them to water.

A million ways you can do it, you can sit down and meditate or write it on paper, sometimes it is enough just to cry, or you can go for a walk/run, exercise, etc. It absolutely depends on the person.

  1. Find the lesson.- Stir it up.

I did find the lesson in my situation. Because remember: “Everything in life is either a blessing or a lesson.” If it is painful… well friends, it will be a huge lesson. Sometimes just your body tries to tell you to slow down, sometimes you just have to be patient. In my situation, my lesson is to learn to love and appreciate myself. We first have to give ourselves what we wish to receive from others. And we cannot love and/or appreciate others if we do not have these feelings in us.

  1. Counting my blessings to start to feel better. – Add some sugar (even some mint) for a better taste…and slowly start to enjoy.

I don’t want or try to be positive. Just want to feel myself better, so slowly I can start to feel okay again and then good, great, and happy. I do not rush. But to start and count your blessings can help, because doesn’t matter how hard life is now for you and I am sure my situation is so far from the worst, you always have something to be grateful for. I have a lovely family and amazing friends, I live in a very nice area, I am healthy and everyone who counts is healthy in my life. I have food (amazing food) to eat every day, I have a job, and I have money, which I did not really have 10 and a half years ago. The list goes on and on. You can write as much as you wish, no minimum or maximum amount. I think the more is the better, because at the beginning you will not have the feeling, but with each thing, you will start to gain the feeling too.

(Of course, we all have different tastes, so feel free to try new things, and other exercises, and mix the steps, as you like it. In the end, it will be your Lemonade.😉)

I want you to remember something, if you did not get what you want you will get something much better. No matter what you wanted, a better thing is coming. Even if you cannot see it yet, as I cannot see how it will be better, we must believe that it wasn’t meant for us, because something much bigger is waiting. The lessons are preparing us for something greater.

So grab your lemons, squeeze them, add some extra ingredients, spice it up with some SpitFire, and slowly it will become a very delicious Lemonade

XOXO,

Krisz😘

(P.s.: Mom, friends I am fine, do not worry! 😅

One more thing, I will start a 21-day mindfulness challenge on Monday. Each day, I will share on Facebook and Instagram daily lessons (easy one or two steps story posts, each step will not take longer than 5 minutes to do), so if you wish to do it with me, follow the Spitfires on one or both of the social media platforms.)

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Motivation

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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Do not stop

XOXO,

Krisz 😘

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Dear never greater than excitement

XOXO,

Krisz 😘

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Failure inspires winners

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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3 steps, and you have a price tag

Hello, hello

I hope you had a lovely week and had so much fun. As I mentioned in my previous post, I started to write this post and I was almost done, but then life happened and I re-wrote it. Don’t worry, I still write about the price tags, how, when, why, and what to do with those (little) buggers. I will share my 3 steps technique. 😎

We all know that if you want to buy something, you will get a little tag on it with the price. That’s normal when you go shopping. Doesn’t matter if it is clothes, shoes, groceries, electronics, or any other stuff, it will come with a price tag. We also know that nothing is free in the world. We pay for our internet, electricity, gas (for the last two we pay a lot nowadays), hairdresser, cosmetics, nail technician, gym, etc. So we pay for everything that we want. And these things are normal and we do not even think about these tags, because we know these are the “extras” and we learned at a very young age that we have money, so we pay for the things we buy exactly the amount that is on these little tags. (Unless you are in Hungary in the market, there you must negotiate the price Baby! 😅)

What are the price tags? Of course, we know that these things will tell us how much it cost the desired item or service we wish to have. Simple, easy, and common sense. No one needs to think about how much a new dress will cost (which by the way you need because you do not have anything to wear on Saturday night when you go out with the girls… that’s obvious), because there is the price tag and you can decide by the price if it is worth it for you or not (guess what, the new dress will worth the price and no, doesn’t matter the numbers, trust me). And we all know this, but there is something that no one teaches us in school, no one explains and everyone assumes that you know…everything comes with a price tag means, literally EVERYTHING, even your dreams and especially your goals.

The question is never whether you will have to pay for your wishes or not…no. The question is always: how much? But with our dreams, goals, and desires it is tricky because you cannot find a price tag that will tell you that, if you decide to chase your dreams means you will not see your family for maybe at least 1,5- 2 years, do you want this? No. No one will provide a price tag for those things, but trust me you will get them sooner or later. So how do you know the price tag, if no one telling you? How you can decide if your price tag is worth it or not? Well, that’s why when you set up a goal, you have to set up a price tag too. Otherwise, if you wait for Life/God/Universe to give you one… well, I am 99% sure you will not like it, but far worst, you will hate it as hell. Life always tests us. Just like a mother testing their child if they are sure they want pizza for breakfast (yes, for breakfast, and yes they will want it), Life will test you the same way. It will ask you if you are sure you want that desired thing. Also if we think about it is easier than with the other things in our life, because if you go to the grocery store and they say the milk’s price is xyz, you buy the milk for that price and you are not able to change it (okay, I know you can buy in another store, or find the cheapest in elsewhere, or go to the Hungarian market and negotiate, but please stick to the theory). However, you can decide how much will cost your goals, and how much you are willing to pay for them. Also, you can increase or decrease the amount, at any time.

So the last question is, how do we set up our dreams’ prices? (We already decided what we want, and we have our “why” too, furthermore we even brainstormed what things will make us happy, so that could be indicators as well.) How I do, it when I set up a price for my goals, is super easy. Only 3 steps.

  1. I take a piece of paper and write everything that I think I will have to do to achieve my goal. Everything. Even the smallest things. I usually do not stop until I have at least 50 items on my list, that’s the minimum and no maximum. (brainstorm)
  2. Once it is done, I will start to rate them from 1 to 10 on how likely I will want to do the thing. 1 is for me the “No, Not at all, Never Ever” and 10 is the “Hell yeah! Let’s do this Baby!”
  3. When  I have the rated list, I will just summarize the things which were rated between 8 and 10. To make sure it is clear. After that just mark 3 or 5, so you will not feel overwhelmed and you most likely will do those 3-5 things. Guess what? Those things will be your goal’s price tag.😘

Do you see? I told you it is very easy. Okay so let’s see an example from my past and then I will let you have fun with your own price tags. So during the pandemic, I decided to lose weight. Not because I was fat, but because I wanted to be healthier and in better shape. I knew I wanted to lose at least 5kg (sorry guys, you convert it for yourself, I can’t and don’t want to please everyone😘). (I have done the 7 levels of deep, below the “What is your “why”?” post, someone asked me for an example from me regarding this exercise and shared there in a comment my “why?” for this.)

  1. I have set down and listed everything that I thought I could do to get the result. For example, exercise 2 hours a day, lift weights, eat more vegetables and fruits, leave bread, no pasta, no sweets, no hamburgers, drink at least 2l water a day, sleep at least 8 hours, etc. The list was soooooo long. 
  2. Sleep, drink water, eat more healthy stuff: Absolutely 10, “Hell yeah!” I will do those things, I love them. Easy baby!😎 But no pasta, no bread, no sweets?!?!?! NOOOO. “No, Never Ever!!!” 😱
  3. Last step, to make sure I will not feel overwhelmed and exhausted, I made a list that every day I will drink 2l water, sleep at least 8 hours, and eat healthier, but I will count calories (eat everything, but make sure smaller portions), Sunday is my cheat day, so I can eat sweets and exercise a lot (which is easy for me because I am still hyperactive). 

This was my price tag. I could and would pay this price to lose weight. I can confirm that I did. In 6 months I lost 5kg without suffering because I find my way, the way was fit for me and I knew what the price would be and I was willing to pay it. 

Also very important as I always say, to listen to yourself. This exercise helped me to set up my goals or achieve them, but may it will not be yours. I have tried many other things until I found the techniques which work for me. So try it and if it works, fine, if not, well don’t worry, there are millions of other exercises. You just need to find the one which will fit you. Oh, and you can change it just as the shops do with their prices… either you can raise or lower down. No limits and no failure if you feel that something is not worth it anymore.

Now, come on, GOOOO, and set up your goals’ price tags, but before you start don’t forget to (Spit)fire up yourself.

Love you guys and make sure you know that: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: Any questions, or concerns, please DM me on Instagram, or Facebook or just leave a comment. Love you all!