XOXO,
Miss Spitfire 😘
Tag: lifecoach
XOXO,
Miss Spitfire 😘
XOXO,
Miss Spitfire 😘
XOXO,
Miss Spitfire 😘
Categories
Forgiveness
I know, I promised that I will share with you my Happiness Challenge experiences and I will. Actually Forgiveness is a part of the challenge, a bit later, but I thought this is one of the most important.
Why? Well, you can do a Happiness Routine and all the practices and they will help, but if you do have negative feelings for someone (or even worse for yourself), how can you be happy and positive? You see? You can’t. Or at least not permanently. (Again that’s just my opinion and based on my experience.) When you have negative feelings about something or someone, you cannot be positive. When you are negative means that you do not have love or any kind of positive energy in your body, so your vibe is not the highest ever. Happiness is a positive and very high level of energy, so you must forgive and let go of the things that you do not desire in your life.
Let’s just clear the air first. What does it mean to forgive? So many people (including me in the past) think about forgiveness like a ritual and they also think you have to go there and say it out loud to the people who make you angry, upset, mean, etc. That’s not really true. You can do that for sure, but forgiveness is much more for your own health and nothing to do with the other person or the situation. There are so many techniques that can help you to forgive( I will give you some ideas), but it doesn’t matter which one you use, if it is not coming from your heart. To forgive someone is just a decision. You choose to let go of the bad/negative/unsatisfied feelings and open the next chapter in your life (with or without the person or situation).
Also forgiveness is not equal to forgetting.Forgive someone does not mean that you have to forget everything and let them behave like nothing happened. Actually the opposite. You should remember, even if it hurts you, because if you do not learn the lesson, it will happen again. I believe that everything and everyone enters our life for a reason. Someone comes to give you positive feelings, someone teaches you something, someone stays “forever”, someone just a “traveler” when finished with their “job” they let you go without them. And it’s good like this. Forgiving is creating your own boundaries.
“Forgiveness is not for the other person. Forgiveness is a gift for yourself.”
Elizabeth Lombardo
I have learnt another lesson about forgiveness. When you do it, you should check the “mirror”. What does that mean? Well, you forgive something that created a bad feeling in yourself. You are never forgiven for positive/good things. The most important question (and actually this is the “mirror”) is why those things bothered you? Why did you feel bad about what other people have done to you?
I know it sounds stupid and not make any sense at the first time, but you should check why d you hurting yourself and with what. (Okay, now I hear that everyone says: “she is an idiot”; “why should I hurt myself?”; “This is crazy”; etc.- trust me, I have asked the same questions when I first heard about this theory. Just think about it.) We have thousands of thoughts every hour and day. And trust me you cannot control all of them (nope, even not me, who is a very control freak woman. 🙂 ) You do it unconsciously and that’s okay. That’s not a problem and you do not have to check all your thoughts (you will never be able to do that). I just say, that when you sit down to forgive something, think about the fact that may you created this situation, because may you do not trust enough, not love enough yourself, may you punishing yourself about something (what happened in the past).
When you have to forget someone it means you are disappointed. That means you expected something and it did not happen or not on the way you wanted. You can avoid disappointment if you do not expect anything from anyone and if something good happens then you will be happy, if not…well, it would be good like that. (To be honest, if someone knows how NOT to expect anything, please write me, because that something I still cannot do. 🙂 )
So as I said I have a couple of techniques that I use to forgive.
- “Writing and burning”- basically I write all my harms on a paper (or you can do it separately, each harm on each paper). Read them out loud and then burn the paper and feel all your anger just gone. (Do not do it when it’s windy or inside your house (not even in someone else’s house, whose you are angry) and make sure you think about all necessary security measures. – At least a glass of water next to you!!!!)
- “Eraser”- also, I just write down everything that I wish to forgive with a pencil and instead of burning the paper, I use the eraser and see all my anger gone.
- “Meditation”- That sounds very difficult, but it is simple. Just close my eyes, think about the person, think about the situation and the feeling that I felt. When I have got everything, I just simply imagine that the person is in front of me and I say “I forgive you.”
So I will be back with all the experiences from the 21 days Happiness Challenge. BUT until then, you can follow me on Facebook, Instagram or even here and you can get a bit of Happiness from me via my favorite happiness quotes.
Have a super happy (and forgiving) day Spitfires! 😉
XOXO,
Miss Spitfire
As I promised, I am back with the rest of the story.
So we’re about a week from the moving out date. We were really upset,tired, exhausted and definitely lost. We started the whole process from the beginning. Search for flats (but of course now only for two people), call agents, tell again the situation, etc. Finally there were 2 amazing flats, but The Sign came again…
The agency said we are more than welcome to go and view the properties, but “there is a little bit of an issue with our moving date”. 
Let me explain to you the meaning of the “little bit of issue “- of course if you first thought that mean “we were in the deep shit” , you technically right and dirty minded – it means that they do not like to be on the rush, so what can be done in 2 days, they will do in 3 weeks.
Yes, you are right, another WTF?!?!
So we visited the 2 properties and we had 2 days left… So much fun!
Short version: rent a storage room in Southend where we can put our furniture, rent a room on Airbnb, so we can sleep somewhere and pray!!! Pray a lot!
We did packed our stuff on the 24th to a (rented) van, take them to Southend,but of course not everything could fit in the van (trust me I have selected which are the most important stuff I have…the rest…well RIP), so for a week our Fiat Punto was full of stuff too. It was a huge mess…we were a huge mess.
Do you know for sure when you reach the bottom? Because you start to think clearly and recognize the small signs that maybe can help to sort out your life. On the way back to London we did recognize that maybe we do not have anything to do in Southend. What if we just stay in London and see what life will bring to us? We have decided that we will try with shared houses , because we were sure that we cannot afford a 2 bedroom flat in London. Just set on a bed in an airbnb room, without a home address (technically we became homeless) and waited for destiny. Totally exhausted and hopeless.
Life is a funny thing guys, because when you let go of something that was actually meant to you, you will get it just as easily as taking a breath. On the flatshare website we found a 2 bedroom flat and you never guess what happened. From the 6-8 application, that 2 bedroom flat was the only place where they did call us and we went to view it. (that was on Wednesday, we had to move out somewhere until Friday, otherwise we will seriously sleep on the street.)
On Thursday at 4pm we signed our 12 months contract for the 2 bedroom flat in London. The other funny fact about this flat is that it is actually in Crouch End, the place what we always loved and always wanted to move there, but the house costs are there way to high for us, and yet, we have got a 2 bed flat for less than what we did paid in our previous house. 🙂 We both cried…after 3 weeks of nightmare and hopeless fight to move to Southend, we did get a flat in one of the most amazing areas of London, just as easily as taking a breath. 🙂 What is this if it is not a miracle???? Maybe I am a dreamer and I am way too optimistic, but this was one of the biggest miracles in my Life. (Slowly I will tell you the others, I promise.) In that week, when we did not have a home, we faced a lot of other small miracles too. I did sell some of my clothes on Vinted, so many random people just smiled to us, we found an amazing printing shop in Palmers Green (Kodak, go there guys because they are so quick and lovely), have back some money from the storage place and last, but not least if you planned to visit London and you do not know where to sleep, book on airbnb one of our host’s amazing rooms. The house is in Palmers Green. It is a lovely area, she is a nice host, helped a lot, smiled a lot and the rooms are huge, clean and tidy. Also she taught me that never plan in your life, because Life will sort you out just the way it is the best for you. You can have dreams, goals and do for them, but not plan. Just let your life happen. 🙂 Thank you, I will be grateful for her help until I live. 🙂 (I can send the link if you wish, guys.)
Also I have another person who’s I have to mention and I think he is one of the best property agents ever. He helped us a lot during the time we have lived in Pelham Road. He was always helpful, nice, kind and one of the nicest people I have ever known. He did everything he could to help us. Even 2 hours after we moved out of the house, we did get back our deposit, which is super quick. I will be grateful for his help as well forever. (If you need a house in North London, ask me for his details and I am sure he will help you too.)
( I did not forget to mention about my family and friends. They were always next to me and my best friend. They worried about us, cheered for us and they are the best ever. I am grateful for them every single day and I will until I die. ;)- They are the best. Mom, Dad, my brother and his wife, Nicole and Pasquale (I can never be enough grateful for you guys and what have you done to us), and all of them at home, in Hungary. ) Of course Adam has the biggest thanks, due to he is the best friend who did everything with me and whom I still live with. Thank you for being my best friend for 17 years now. 🙂
Of course Friday we went back to Southend and packed our stuff from the storage, packed in Crouch End.We have got another amazing property agent. He is lovely, quick (he did all the paperwork during an afternoon, what on Southend would take 2-3 weeks) and so helpful (you know, ask for his details) We got used to our new home and we finally found peace.
Do I hate my “friend” why she left us? No. She is a nice person and if she thinks earlier, maybe I cannot go home and have the best Christmas Ever in my life, or my Mom could not come and have an amazing time with just the 2 of us here. May we be in Southend, pay less rent, but also we have less salary. May I not learn what I did learn during this time.
What have I learnt? Well so many things. As I mentioned I have learnt to trust people and Life again. I realized that maybe I wanted to go to Southend, but I have nothing to do there. Maybe a month sucks worth it, just to have a nice Christmas and a relaxing week with Mom. I have learnt that we can wish for better things, but we must appreciate what we already have, because nothing is forever and everything is changing…always. No matter what, life never stays the same forever. I have learnt not to take anything or anyone granted. And finally I have learnt to listen to my instinct and trust only the trustful people around me and realized who I can really count on and who’s not. People are just coming and going in your life.
I do understand no what my friend and master Anita always told me about the mirrors. 🙂 Once you criticize someone, stop for a minute and look at yourself in the mirror and find out why those things are frustrating you in the other people, so you will realize that those are the things that you do as well absolutely subconsciously.
And I finish this story with Anita’s other lesson: “Nobody is your enemy and nobody is your friend. Everyone is in your life to teach you.”
I hope you did enjoy this story and I can help not move like Miss Spitfire! 😉 (I make mistakes so many times. 🙂 )
Next time I will bring you some positive “lessons” about happiness. 😉
Oh and don’t forget to follow me here, Facebook and/or Instagram for the daily positive quotes. 🙂
XOXO,
Miss Spitfire
Spirit of Spitfire 