XOXO,
Miss Spitfire 😉
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Smile :)
Tag: love
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More March, more flowers
XOXO,
Miss Spitfire 😉
Categories
Violets
I am sorry I have not written for a long time now, but trust me,when you read the story of my last 2 months, you will understand everything. Usually, I write you some positive and energy boosting stories, and I promise I will,but first, I just want to share with you my last 1,5- 2 months.
May I mention that I live in London with 2 of my friends… Well, I reduced the amount to only one. Start at the beginning: How did it happen?
As I said we live in London, but last Fall we felt that we had enough of London (now I know it wasn’t about London, it was only a part of it), so we decided to move to Southend-on-Sea. It is a lovely city next to the sea. Quite, clean and only 40 minutes by train from London. The property prices were much lower than in London and we had work opportunities there too. We could save some money from the rent and utility bills. All looked amazing and perfect. So, why not?
We set down and discussed this. My “friend” asked for a bit of time to think about it, due to her jobs in London and she didn’t really want to leave London. She has got 2-2,5 weeks to think about it. She did write “pro/contra lists’ ‘. That’s fair enough, due to not everyone just having enough, pack and move to a different city or even country (yes, it was me). She did put everything on a scale and in the end she decided to come with us. YEEEEPPP!!! ( I say again, it was in November, after at least 2 weeks of thinking.) So we did give our notice for the previous house and we had the moving date: 24th February 2022.
Days, weeks and months past. My Mom came to London, had an amazing Christmas and New Year’s Eve (you know all about). We came back to London after our holiday and we were really excited about the move.
Here I have to mention a bit about signs. As I said , I am a true believer and I really try to live as positively as I can, and like that I absolutely believe in signs. You can call as you wish God/Universe/Life/Etc., but I am sure we always receive signs which guide us in the right direction. If we are clever enough to listen to them we would have less pain in our life. I also told you that I am very stubborn…so like this, I always learn the hard way. Time has come to start searching for our new home. And we did.
First sign was actually that the government made a decision: if more than 2 people wish to rent a whole house, then the landlord has to have a license called HMO license. This license came with a lot of obligations from the landlord (for example the house has to have at least 2 bathrooms, x size of a kitchen, x amount of rooms, etc.). So of course not that many landlords wish to have this complication in their life, so we had our first problem: we couldn’t find a landlord who wants to have us. Sucks…yes…but the story is far away from the end. You know me guys, I am not the kind of girl who just gives up after the first try. No. We have tried to find a solution which can be good for our future landlord and for us too. And we did. If these 3 people are related then the landlord does not have to pay the HMO. (Related means: marriage, family, kids, siblings, cuisines and of course you are able to proof it- bills on all of your names, previous tenancy agreements, etc.). Guess what? We became cuisines. 🙂 Problem solved. We were happy and even found a house.
Second sign: We were about to go to Southend, see the house and make an offer. Technically just to go and sign the papers. (It was a week before we had to move out.) Half an hour before we were about to depart from our house, my “friend” said that it cost way too much to travel every single day to London (which she just checked the night before- £300), so she cannot come with us. My best friend and I must move out together without her. WTF????? (And now I mean What The F@ck???????????) She asked for time to think, she said she has done research and lists… and yet, she said 30 minutes before we had to depart to move, that she cannot afford the train tickets… Seriously???? I think even Buddha could be f@cking upset about this. So we stood there a bit more than one week from the moving out date, no house,no options and had to start everything from the beginning.
What could we do? How do we sort it out? What was the solution? How we became technically homeless for a week? How does the story end? What have I learnt from all these? And most importantly how does a Spitfire make a magic of all of these situations? You will know if you will follow me and read the next part of the story. 😉
Trust me this is just the beginning. 🙂
XOXO,
Miss Spitfire
Categories
Perfection…
Do we always need to be perfect? What does it even mean to be perfect? How you can be? What if I am perfect for my family and I am not for the rest of the World? Perfect means to have the ideal shape? Okay, so what does ideal shape mean? Or does perfect means that I have a degree and I am working in a big multinational company, and have a huge salary (okay, another one, what does the huge salary means?), a husband, house, car, (okay in my age) children?
What does it mean to be perfect?
To be honest, perfect does not and it does exist. We are different and “perfect” means different things for each of us. The same is that we all want to be perfect for our ideal self, instead we accept the fact that we are who we are and only change, not because someone said that you’re not perfect, change because you want to. Change, because you don’t feel right anymore in your skin.
I think the biggest problem is that we don’t even know what we want, how we can be perfect for ourselves. We tell our “ideal story” and we don’t even want that. We tell our parents, friends, loved ones stories and not ours. We want to get married and have kids, because “this is normal”. We don’t even see that we want to please the World with “our dreams”. (Of course respect to the one who’s really living their dreams and making steps for their own wishes.)
The point is that we want to be perfect and to meet the expectations that the World has for us. Like my country has a “funny” proverb to explain a “Dream Girl/Woman”: “ The good woman is a chef in the kitchen, a mistress in the company and a whore in the bed.”
Well…guess what? If you cannot cook, you are not a “perfect woman”. Or you want to be an actress,but you are a bit fluffy and they say that you cannot be an actress, because you are fat. Or the opposite way, your parents are lawyers and even your grandparents were lawyers , so they want you to be a lawyer, but you love music and you want to be a musician and in the end you become a lawyer, because you want to make them happy.
These are just some of the many expectations that we would like to achieve. And in the meantime we lost ourselves. We don’t even know what we want.
As I said, I have been in my country during the holidays. When I meet with my best friend at home, she always reminds me that I am not getting younger, so I should get married and have kids before it’s too late. 🙂
Yepp, I have had this in my mind for years and I wanted to be “perfect” for these ideas. I wanted to get married and have kids, just because everyone wanted these things around me, so I thought that these are normal and something is wrong with me. Guess what? These weren’t my dreams at that time. I wanted a career and life, to see the World. Even I made myself stuck in a relationship that wasn’t even good for me, because I wanted to get married. I have planned the names of my kids. Only because I wanted to be “perfect” and make my loved ones happy. And that’s another subject, because do you think we can make people happy if we are not happy at all? (Trust me: NO!)
What now? Now I truly want these things, but I will not jump from the roof, if I cannot get them. Now, I am perfect how I am.
I am loud, stubborn, talking way too much, short, love every kind of sweets, love dancing, watch stupid Hallmark movies, Zumba, Yoga, meditation, dreamy, way too organized, lover of the “to do lists” and white boards, positive, smiley, very impationed, selfish, angry and….guess what?…f@cking perfectionist. 🙂
I think we all should be who we are and perfectly imperfect, just how we are and live this life how it is good for us and don’t give a sh@t for other’s opinion. The key is to find how we can be perfect for ourselves.
Live like a real Spitfire and don’t feel ashamed.
I love all your imperfections.
XOXO
Miss Spitfire
Categories
Being in The Present
Hello Spitfires!!!! 🙂
I know I haven’t posted for a while, sorry guys, but I have been in the Present. What does it mean and why is it very important? I will let you know in this post.
As I mentioned previously I am not from the UK, but I have lived here since 2013. So it means from time to time I am back to my country and visit my family and friends. I have been in my country and I spent the holidays there with my loved ones. I had such an amazing time. Lots of food, drinks, laughs, talks, games and all the fun you can imagine. But how does it explain why I was off writing? Well, I was in the Present.
Most people (including me) can lose easily to planning the future, organizing the next steps to achieve dreams, thinking of the next holidays, new challenges and trying to figure out what the Future will bring. Especially at the beginning of a new year. To plan ahead is very important and to make steps for the future is essential, but so many times we are just lost in the Future and we don’t recognise the amazing things happening around us. So we clearly are not in the Present.
When I am with my family and friends, I like to be really with them. Like to listen to them, see them and be there for them. Not just physically, but emotionally and give them all my attention. Maybe because I don’t spend that much time in my country, when I am there, I like to be lost in the landscape, the smalls, the sounds, study the nature and just feel it. I know it sounds so cheesy (especially from me), but this is the truth. It is very important to me to store every single moment when I am there. Even though I feel a bit guilty why I am not doing my usual yoga, run, exercises, meditation, and other “positive techniques” when I am at home, but this is normal, when you are on holiday, you do not follow your everyday life routine. It is impossible and unnecessary, because you do more for your positive attitude, if you are just enjoying your time when you are on holiday.
Even when I am back in my life, I try to discover new things and try to be in the Present as much as I can. It is hard to be in the Present in our everyday life. I assume just like me, you have a routine for everything. Wake up at the same time everyday. Go to your workplace (even if it is in the living room), have a daily routine, lunch break, close your laptop, go home, prepare dinner, etc.Really hard to be in the Present like that.
I have a little game that I am playing to stay in the Present during my everyday routine. Most of us use public transport. So when I am on the tube, bus, train, airport or every other crowded places (if you work from home you can do this when you are in the shop to do the grocery shopping or just during your daily walk), I give myself at least 5-10 minutes to have a look around me and asking the same question: “ What can I love/like here and now?” So easy, but it helps a lot to stay in the Present. Maybe you like someone’s hair, boots, jackets, the book they read, the phone, the bags, the attitude, the jewellery, anything. Funny and useful, because you are in the Present and focus on positive things.When you do this game obviously you cannot focus on 2 things at the same time, so you are not able to think about your future, job,dinner etc., because you are looking at something you like just right Now. Also it is good, because you are positive, you have positive vibes when you are focusing on something you like or love.
The key is where you focus. Even if I feel worried about something or stressed, I stop for 5 minutes (yes, go to the loo, so no one can interrupt or say that you are just stopped. It is easier if you work from home for sure) and have a look at what I can like/love. If you cannot see anything (because you are in the loo and if you are not a loo liker, hard to find anything nice), just think about and list at least 5 things why/who you can be grateful for.
For me it always works, BUT we are not the same and that’s normal. As I always say, question me, because I do not talk about facts, so I will never say that it is the best for you too. I think it is worth giving it a try.
During this year I have decided to share with you the exercises I do daily, weekly and monthly. I will let you know about how I became more positive and how I transformed from a very pessimistic person to a very optimistic one.
Stay with me, have a super time and enjoy this amazing Spitfires’ life I will try to show you!
XOXO,
Miss Spitfire
P.S.: You can ask any question, any time if you wish, just find me on Facebook, Instagram or here via comments. 🙂
Categories
New Year’s resolutions
Is New Year really equal to the new me? Do we really change a bit each year beginning? Why do we need the new year’s resolutions? Do we need them or just a nice cliche? Really the number at the end of the date will change everything? What’s the reason for the resolutions?
I don’t know how you feel about the end of the year, and I know it seems like a big cliche, but I think every New Year brings a new chance for a new beginning. Of course it will be a new year and a new number at the end of the date, but I always feel this is a new beginning. Most of the people make new year’s resolutions and we all know not that much will still exist longer than February. The most common of course to lose weight, stop smoking, stop drinking, eat healthier, go to gym every day, etc. I have my own kind of tradition.
Before or on the last day of each year I make a list. I take out my last year list(s) and check what I have got, what I achieved and what is left. After that I think if I still would like to get those that are left from last year or not. If I still feel I really want those things, I write again to the new list.
Every year the list has some categories, such as relationships, money, career, family, travel, “me time”, personal growth, etc. the most important parts of my life on the paper each year. I write down everything I really wish to get in the next 12 months.
It is very funny and interesting how much our wishes can change during a year or how many things we can achieve. Usually 80% of the list ticked and the funny part is, the points are not ticked I never really wanted.
This “exercise” is very good to realize our dreams, where we need to still work and see how much we changed. I have been doing this for 5-6 years now and usually I take out all my lists before I start to do the new one to see how much I have changed.
The key is that we should write down everything. Since I started to practice positive thinking, the first rule that I have learnt is that we need to write down everything that we wish to get. Why? Because, if you just talk and think about something most likely you will never take a step to get it. No evidence, so no one knows if we do not lift a finger to work for it, so no guilt either. Instead if you grab a paper and list everything, you will have physical evidence that you have something to work on, you cannot be lazy, you start to feel guilt and most likely you and start to take steps for it. Each time you read the list, your unconscious mind starts to work on the solutions to get each thing. Your mind realizes that you do not have those things, so need a “plan” or “way” to have them. This is just simple psychology. But this is another post’s subject. 🙂
So if you want to take steps for your next year or just want to have a bit of fun, grab a paper and list all your wishes. (Don’t forget, this is still the holiday season, so magic works stronger.- Just saying. 😉 )
I am sure one of the points will be this year on my list to continue to be with you and may even help you Spitfires. 🙂
Happy New Year to all of you and see you in 2022!!! 🙂
XOXO,
Miss Spitfire
Categories
Presents= Love (?)
As we still have a couple of weeks until Christmas, and I am sure some of you have a similar relationship with Christmas shopping than I do, I think we should talk about it.
So, I am a perfectionist, I have plans and a “to-do list” for even a “to-do list”, but I am really bad at Christmas gifts. Every single year around September I swear that this year I will start buying the gifts on time and not at the last minute… guess what? Never happened… I know…that’s bad…well, I am not perfect and I never want to be (way too boring) 😉
So I started to think about what to buy for my family and friends, but I was always stuck. I was so worried previously. The point was that: do presents are equal to love? If I buy what they like or want, do they love me more, and if I f@ck up and they get something that they do not like, they will love me less? Is that how the world works? Or even should I be scared that my family and friends will not love me if I do not buy the “best present ever” for them? Can you really buy love with money?
First things first, I am not scared at all, I have made a kind of “system” for myself. This is a material world, so everyone gets a present, but I also try to give them the things that really show them that I love them. How can I do that? 🙂 Sooooo easy and soooo not. 🙂
A couple of years ago I have read a book called Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I think that book helped me a lot and changed so many things around me and started to understand the behavior of my environment.
You know when you really want something (time, gift, someone understands you, etc.), but you do not understand why your environment doesn’t get it? When you have an opinion of love, friendship, relationship, how those things should work, etc., but someone acts the totally opposite way and you do not understand why that person is so “different” and why doesn’t get that he/she makes it “wrong”.
Well, my friends, I will tell you a secret… they speak a different love language than what you speak. I do not want to talk about the Love Languages, because I think everyone should read the book and even we should teach to the kids in the schools because that could help them more than quantum physics (all do respect for quantum physics and all the other subjects in school) so basically, I just write the name of them.
- Words of Affirmation
- Physical Touch
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Acts of Service
So, how do I sort out my Christmas gifts, and what does it do with the Languages? So easy: you need to find out who speaks which language, study to speak on it and then all done…okay, that’s not so easy, but worth it. 🙂
The fact is that for someone the presents are really equal to love and that’s totally okay like this. Some other people need our time, hugs, acknowledgment, favor, and that’s okay too. Nice the phrases that “give love instead of gifts”, but if you have someone around you whose love language is “receiving gifts”, they will not understand why you did not buy some presents for them and may they feel you do not love them. I buy gifts for everyone and I also try to “speak with them in their love language”. I have a couple of them who needs time together, so I try to make time for them. Some around me need to get confirmation, so I try to give them. And the list goes on and on and on. The point is that first you must listen to them and find out how they like to experience love and give it to them in that way. So that’s it. 🙂
To me, you are all equal and I love you no matter what language you speak or where do you come from. And really important that no matter how you like to experience Love, you are not bad or weird, you are perfect Spitfires as it is. 🙂
Have a good Christmas present hunting Spitfires. 😉
XOXO
Miss Spitfire
P.S.: Gary Chapman- Five Love Languages could be a good Christmas gift (you are welcome). 😉
Spirit of Spitfire 