mindfulness techniques – Spirit of Spitfire

Hello guys,

I hope everything is going well with you. I do apologise because of the “blog-break”, but as you saw on the website, I’m a bit busy nowadays and I love that. ❤ I try to do many nice things, such as offering a free 5-question workbook. The next one is coming soon, which will help you on your self-discovery journey.

But I’m here now to talk about an important topic, which is our health. I know this one is all over the place, and everyone is living a healthy lifestyle, and mental health is a huge topic nowadays, so the question is relevant: “What new can you tell me?” I’m not sure I can, but I believe the importance of repeating things that are valuable and can be beneficial for others.

Since the WHO describes it very well, we all know that health is not just not being sick, but it’s feeling good in our body, mind and soul. We all know the components of a healthy life, such as a good night’s sleep, reducing stress, a balanced diet, and the list goes on. I promise I have no intention to speak about food or sleep. Also, I’ll avoid the “no drugs, alcohol or smoke” part.

What I want to talk about is what I do every day as a life coach, which I see firsthand. This blog is positive, so today’s topic is mental health. And mindfulness. I truly believe that if someone follows a healthy diet, exercises every day, has at least 8 hours of sleep and doesn’t have any bad habits, they still can have serious health issues because of stress. Since the internet and social media are part of our everyday life, the World has accelerated, and the stress factors have increased significantly. Although companies are investing substantial amounts of money in various work-life balance activities, the burnout rates are on the rise. Why? Well, I used to work in the corporate area, and until the multimillion-dollar companies deal with their employees as robots and not humans, a weekly massage or yoga will never help. Think about it. Your company offers fresh fruits for breakfast. You took it, then you went for a company-paid 30-minute massage. When you finish with that, you sit down next to your computer, and you have 30 unread messages regarding what is wrong in the company, and everyone wants you to fix it. How would you feel? Or when you have to take your laptop with you during your holiday, just to make sure that you are reachable, and if you are, trust me, they will reach out. If they don’t, after a week of holiday, your inbox will be full, and I guarantee that when you finish with all those emails, you will feel even more tired than you left for those holidays not to mention the maternity period, especially in the UK, where, as a mother, you have to return to work after 6-8 months. However, the daycares for the kids are free after the age of 2, and the grandparents don’t live nearby or even in the same country. As a private English teacher, I work with kids and see overwhelmed and burnt-out kids every day. Be calm, be happy, be a kid, but they are in the schools until 3 pm, and after that starts the sports practices, the dance lessons, the private lessons (Maths, English, German, Biology, name it and they do it), plus the homework and we surprised when the kids are burnt-out at age 12. Not to mention the graduation periods…Jeez… they’re only 18 years old and they have so much pressure on their shoulders.

Work-life balance is just an illusion in the world. Unless you create one for yourself. I’ve been there, done that. Trust me, hard and sucks, but it’s possible. How do we start to do that?

Time management is essential. The problem is that in our early years in school, we learn that everything has the same importance, which isn’t true. I don’t care if you are a student or an employee, you have to manage your time. And to do that, you must know your timeline. It means that I need 1 hour in the morning to get ready. Doesn’t matter how hard I try, I cannot be 100% during the day without my 1-hour morning prep. How long do you need? Don’t try to put 2 hours’ work in a one-hour timeframe and then be stressed out because you are not done yet.

Prioritise. Multitasking is a very nice and fancy world in our lives, and that’s why we are stressed. That’s what’s expected from us. But the human brain was never wired to do a million things at once, and especially not perfectly. This is the biggest BS in the modern world. Not all the subjects are equally important at school. Come on, don’t tell me that art classes have the same importance in your college application as Maths or the languages? Unless, of course, you want to be an artist, but then Maths doesn’t matter that much. Same in your workplace. Trust me, not all 100 emails have the same priority. John’s “thank you email” will not bring 1 million for the company, but if you don’t answer the biggest client’s email, it can cost that much. So forget the multitasking and prioritise regarding the importance of the company, your life, your mood on that day, your lifestyle or the period you are in it. I used to work in a bar, and my mentor told me that, and since then, I live my life like this: “Step by step, and day by day.”

Delegate. I know it’s hard to say, especially if someone is a perfectionist (like me), but you don’t have to do everything alone. Ask your friends for the exam items, so you don’t have to do them. Or ask your colleagues to help you. Women!!! You don’t have to do all the housework alone. Because your spouses, partner lives in the same house, they can help as well. I don’t say that from now on our other half should do everything, but we cannot die if we ask them from time to time for some help. We will not be less super women, just more clever. Share the housework. Discuss who likes to do what and share. I have bad news: no one is a mindreader, so if you don’t ask, you will never get the help. Just ask. Remember Smarter than harder.

Once we have a bit more time, please use it to get some rest. We will not miss anything if sometimes we do what feels good for us and say no to an event, or we just delay our so-called important obligations. Have some fun. Sometimes, I sit down and brainstorm all the things that I loved to do when I was a kid, and I do at least one item from the list. Fun, joy and happiness make us feel alive. Play like the kids.

Create boundaries and try to focus on yourself instead of trying to please everyone around you. I know, I said this a million times, but still true: At the end of the day, you will be alone in your bed with your emotions. No one can feel your feelings, not even your partners, friends, family…only you.

Summertime has so much magic regarding our mental health. Go for a walk in nature, go for a holiday, spend as much time as possible with your loved ones, take a night swim in the lake, go for a horse ride, have a picnic, take a day off and get lost in the woods, just go outside and enjoy the wonder around you.

So SpitFire Up, and please take care of yourself. Summer is the best time of the year to create new and joyful habits.😘 And if you need more support, book a free 30-minute consultation, and we will see how to continue. ❤

Oh, and please don’t forget: You don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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“Mirror, mirror on the wall…”

Hello Lovelies,

I know each one of you is now confused about this sentence. And that’s okay. 😅 I’ll explain it very soon. First, I wanted to let you know that the website is still in progress with the Life Coach and Motivational speech options, but it will be available soon. Until then, if you need help because you are stuck in your life and have no idea what to do, you can contact me on the social media platforms below. Feel free to drop me a message and I am happy to help! 🥰

However, I have something to share with you. I had a conversation last week (well, not one) that just stuck in my brain or actually, the fact that the person I advised never heard about the “Mirror technique or affect”. Maybe you never heard of that or do not fully understand what it means. Don’t worry, my mentor and very good friend talked to me about the “Mirror” for years while I finally realised its true meaning. Anyway, this is one of the easiest life-changing techniques I have ever heard. “Everyone in your life is a mirror!” But is it true?🤔

Here is the good news: yes and no! But first, we need to clarify other things. Everyone who is around us is a mirror. Their behaviour, skills, and emotions resonate with our frequency. Everyone and everything has a frequency and that’s how we attract people or stuff in our life. Based on our rezonation we choose our friends, relationships even our work. Most of the time we have either a positive or negative vibe. But how is it attached to the mirror?

For example, you have a friend, who is always complaining, that nothing is good, but he/she pretends that everything is fine. In the beginning, you became friends because you were on the same frequency. (Sorry, but that’s the harsh truth.) If you don’t start to look at him or her as a mirror, you are not bothered. You are the same, it is a beautiful relationship, but neither of you understands why things are always “bad”. Then you start to read my blog, do the tricks and hacks, I share and your frequency starts to rise and you feel more positive, you attract positive people and one day, you just release that the friend we mentioned previously became so annoying. You don’t understand what happened, but you don’t want to spend time with him or her. You feel overwhelmed after every coffee you share. And here the “mirror” comes. Why this person bothers me? What is in his/her behaviour that makes me uncomfortable? Most of the time they say that you changed and you are the one who is annoying and unreliable. You start to see that this person is gossiping all the time, negative and nothing is good. And that’s the point where you have to stop and look in the mirror. Because if it bothers you means you have something to do with those things. They reflect your behaviour and actions. Are you complaining all the time? Do you like gossiping? Are you happy and satisfied with your life?

If the answer is yes to all those questions, you have to start working on yourself and find the root cause of your behaviour. Because no one can make you feel anything. Your feelings are yours and yours only. So if someone’s behaviour bothers you most likely you act in the same way. Maybe you think that your life is perfect, but you still find things about to complain. Why? Where do those feelings come from?

But if the answer is no to the questions, means that you have nothing to do with the other person’s actions. They are not the reflection of you. Simply they can have a bad day and they reflect their frustration on you. Or you may outgrow them. Your frequency no longer matches theirs. Maybe they are jealous of your success or the things you achieved. Or you envy them about something.

I also advise my “clients”, the people I work with in their self-development, to first stop and take a breath. Look at the person who said or done the things that are bothering them. Is this person truly important enough to me? Even if the answer is no, the next questions are mandatory. Is this true? Do I act the way they say? If the answer is no to both questions, well you have nothing to do with the situation. But if it is yes, you have to ask other questions. Why this thing bothers me? What do I feel? Where do these feelings come from? Why do I behave this way? Can I change? Do I want to change?

After we find the answers to all those questions, we’ll be able to start to work on the solutions. No matter what you are working on, the first step is always to identify the problem. Once it is done, you need to know the root cause to start working on the strategy that leads you to the full solution.

One more thing I wanted to tell you. Even if you sort out one problem in your life, others will come. Life never stops happening. Sometimes the same problems come back in a different form and you have to start the process again. You have to look in the mirror and do everything again from the beginning. Our behaviours, reactions, and patterns are not something that we were born with. We learnt them during our years on Earth. If you are 35 years “young” just like me, you have done something in a way in the past 35 years. That behavior will not gone in two, three, four, etc. weeks just because you work on it once. Self-development is a lifelong process. Each behaviour, emotion or pattern change depends on the person, the circumstances, the time, the environment, etc. Some of them we can get rid of in two weeks, but the deeper ones need much more time. You created them in 35 years, so they will not disappear in a second.

And yes, sometimes you need help. You need a person who can see you from the outside. Someone who just sits and listens to you without judgment, in a safe environment, where you can be yourself and everything is about you and your process. So many people said, “Why need a therapist or life coach when I have friends?” well, true, but your friends need to talk about themselves too. Most of the time they don’t want to hurt your feelings and that’s why they are not honest. They cannot see you objectively, because they are involved in your life. Plus they desperately want to help and give you all the cliche pieces of advice. Come on we all heard at least once in our life after a break up that “He wasn’t good enough for you. It’s his loss. Just let go.” Thank you, Einsteins!!!! Seriously, no kidding Sherlock?! 🙄That’s why sometimes we need help from outside of our circle.

The “mirror” technique is the best way to see ourselves. If the other person in the mirror is not who we want to see, well, we have a chance to change. But we always need to stop first and check who is the one who said that thing and what they say, because there is a possibility that we are their mirror and not the other way around. When I first heard about this, I started to monitor all my interactions with other people and I got terrified about myself. Some of them were true. I was arrogant, selfish, hysterical, bitchy, judgemental, critical, etc. And some of them had nothing to do with me. But because I heard that “Everyone is a mirror”, I started to believe that I am a terrible person. Now I know that there are moments when you are the mirror to the other person.

One last thing is crucial to talk about. Not just everyone, but everything is a mirror. So if you say that someone around you does something that you do not agree with, either you envy that thing or you do it the same way. Life/Universe/God wants to show you one of your core beliefs. Let’s say that your friend has so much money and you think, it’s easy for him or her because… Now here it is. Mirror. I want that money that easy, so I am jealous, but my core belief is that I must work hard to get a little bit of money. Or when you say “money just comes and goes” and you are surprised that the money goes all the time… Honey, of course, it goes, because you never said that it stays. See what I mean? Your friend’s lifestyle and the fact that you want this showed you the block in your life.

It’s hard to look in the mirror because shows us the truth about ourselves. But trust me it’s worth it. As soon as you accept that you are not perfect and never will be, you can start the work to become the person you want to be. You can be anyone if you want to and if you work for it. Achieving our biggest dreams is never easy, but nothing is impossible.

As Audrey Hepburn said: “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says: I’m-Possible.”

I hope it helps you to SpitFire up, look in the mirror with pride and adore the person inside of it because everyone is imperfectly perfect. I honestly love you all!!! ❤