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“Mirror, mirror on the wall…”

Hello Lovelies,

I know each one of you is now confused about this sentence. And that’s okay. 😅 I’ll explain it very soon. First, I wanted to let you know that the website is still in progress with the Life Coach and Motivational speech options, but it will be available soon. Until then, if you need help because you are stuck in your life and have no idea what to do, you can contact me on the social media platforms below. Feel free to drop me a message and I am happy to help! 🥰

However, I have something to share with you. I had a conversation last week (well, not one) that just stuck in my brain or actually, the fact that the person I advised never heard about the “Mirror technique or affect”. Maybe you never heard of that or do not fully understand what it means. Don’t worry, my mentor and very good friend talked to me about the “Mirror” for years while I finally realised its true meaning. Anyway, this is one of the easiest life-changing techniques I have ever heard. “Everyone in your life is a mirror!” But is it true?🤔

Here is the good news: yes and no! But first, we need to clarify other things. Everyone who is around us is a mirror. Their behaviour, skills, and emotions resonate with our frequency. Everyone and everything has a frequency and that’s how we attract people or stuff in our life. Based on our rezonation we choose our friends, relationships even our work. Most of the time we have either a positive or negative vibe. But how is it attached to the mirror? 

For example, you have a friend, who is always complaining, that nothing is good, but he/she pretends that everything is fine. In the beginning, you became friends because you were on the same frequency. (Sorry, but that’s the harsh truth.) If you don’t start to look at him or her as a mirror, you are not bothered. You are the same, it is a beautiful relationship, but neither of you understands why things are always “bad”. Then you start to read my blog, do the tricks and hacks, I share and your frequency starts to rise and you feel more positive, you attract positive people and one day, you just release that the friend we mentioned previously became so annoying. You don’t understand what happened, but you don’t want to spend time with him or her. You feel overwhelmed after every coffee you share. And here the “mirror” comes. Why this person bothers me? What is in his/her behaviour that makes me uncomfortable? Most of the time they say that you changed and you are the one who is annoying and unreliable. You start to see that this person is gossiping all the time, negative and nothing is good. And that’s the point where you have to stop and look in the mirror. Because if it bothers you means you have something to do with those things. They reflect your behaviour and actions. Are you complaining all the time? Do you like gossiping? Are you happy and satisfied with your life? 

If the answer is yes to all those questions, you have to start working on yourself and find the root cause of your behaviour. Because no one can make you feel anything. Your feelings are yours and yours only. So if someone’s behaviour bothers you most likely you act in the same way. Maybe you think that your life is perfect, but you still find things about to complain. Why? Where do those feelings come from?

But if the answer is no to the questions, means that you have nothing to do with the other person’s actions. They are not the reflection of you. Simply they can have a bad day and they reflect their frustration on you. Or you may outgrow them. Your frequency no longer matches theirs. Maybe they are jealous of your success or the things you achieved. Or you envy them about something. 

I also advise my “clients”, the people I work with in their self-development, to first stop and take a breath. Look at the person who said or done the things that are bothering them. Is this person truly important enough to me? Even if the answer is no, the next questions are mandatory. Is this true? Do I act the way they say? If the answer is no to both questions, well you have nothing to do with the situation. But if it is yes, you have to ask other questions. Why this thing bothers me? What do I feel? Where do these feelings come from? Why do I behave this way? Can I change? Do I want to change?

After we find the answers to all those questions, we’ll be able to start to work on the solutions. No matter what you are working on, the first step is always to identify the problem. Once it is done, you need to know the root cause to start working on the strategy that leads you to the full solution. 

One more thing I wanted to tell you. Even if you sort out one problem in your life, others will come. Life never stops happening. Sometimes the same problems come back in a different form and you have to start the process again. You have to look in the mirror and do everything again from the beginning. Our behaviours, reactions, and patterns are not something that we were born with. We learnt them during our years on Earth. If you are 35 years “young” just like me, you have done something in a way in the past 35 years. That behavior will not gone in two, three, four, etc. weeks just because you work on it once. Self-development is a lifelong process. Each behaviour, emotion or pattern change depends on the person, the circumstances, the time, the environment, etc. Some of them we can get rid of in two weeks, but the deeper ones need much more time. You created them in 35 years, so they will not disappear in a second.

And yes, sometimes you need help. You need a person who can see you from the outside. Someone who just sits and listens to you without judgment, in a safe environment, where you can be yourself and everything is about you and your process. So many people said, “Why need a therapist or life coach when I have friends?” well, true, but your friends need to talk about themselves too. Most of the time they don’t want to hurt your feelings and that’s why they are not honest. They cannot see you objectively, because they are involved in your life. Plus they desperately want to help and give you all the cliche pieces of advice. Come on we all heard at least once in our life after a break up that “He wasn’t good enough for you. It’s his loss. Just let go.” Thank you, Einsteins!!!! Seriously, no kidding Sherlock?! 🙄That’s why sometimes we need help from outside of our circle.

The “mirror” technique is the best way to see ourselves. If the other person in the mirror is not who we want to see, well, we have a chance to change. But we always need to stop first and check who is the one who said that thing and what they say, because there is a possibility that we are their mirror and not the other way around. When I first heard about this, I started to monitor all my interactions with other people and I got terrified about myself. Some of them were true. I was arrogant, selfish, hysterical, bitchy, judgemental, critical, etc. And some of them had nothing to do with me. But because I heard that “Everyone is a mirror”, I started to believe that I am a terrible person. Now I know that there are moments when you are the mirror to the other person.

One last thing is crucial to talk about. Not just everyone, but everything is a mirror. So if you say that someone around you does something that you do not agree with, either you envy that thing or you do it the same way. Life/Universe/God wants to show you one of your core beliefs. Let’s say that your friend has so much money and you think, it’s easy for him or her because… Now here it is. Mirror. I want that money that easy, so I am jealous, but my core belief is that I must work hard to get a little bit of money. Or when you say “money just comes and goes” and you are surprised that the money goes all the time… Honey, of course, it goes, because you never said that it stays. See what I mean? Your friend’s lifestyle and the fact that you want this showed you the block in your life.

It’s hard to look in the mirror because shows us the truth about ourselves. But trust me it’s worth it. As soon as you accept that you are not perfect and never will be, you can start the work to become the person you want to be. You can be anyone if you want to and if you work for it. Achieving our biggest dreams is never easy, but nothing is impossible. 

As Audrey Hepburn said: “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says: I’m-Possible.”

I hope it helps you to SpitFire up, look in the mirror with pride and adore the person inside of it because everyone is imperfectly perfect. I honestly love you all!!! ❤

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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5 steps to gather the courage to start something new

Hello Guys,

I hope you are well and not too depressed because of the cold weather.

As I mentioned, I have a new project and you will see it very soon. The website will be updated and I will add my Life Coach and Motivational speaker services. Why and why now? Excellent questions!😅

I created this blog because I wanted to help people and because sometimes I have to give out what is inside me. 

Since I was a kid I knew I wanted to work with people and help them. But for so long I had no idea how can I do that. In 2021 I’ve met coaching and I knew this was my way. However, a lack of confidence held me back until now. Like so many of you, I questioned myself and never imagined that people would ask my opinion or why anyone would choose me to help. Who am I? Just a no one! A small village girl with a big mouth!😅 Plus what my parents and friends will say? Come on, I will only embarrass them. I was afraid, I would end up alone and no one would support or love me. So I have done nothing. 

During the past 1,5 years, I helped friends with their divorce, strangers and teenagers with their lack of self-confidence, friends with their everyday life problems and many issues. I have done it for free because I wanted to help. Even though I am only 35 years “young”, I have been through a lot. My motivation is to give some value to the people in my life. That’s the whole purpose of this blog too. If I can help only one of you with my words, it was worth it. 

So the people around me who I helped told me that I gave so much to them, why am I not doing it as a career? Well, I felt I was an impostor. I learnt those techniques and tools from other people. People who are more famous, smart and successful than I am. Motivational speakers such as Mel Robbins, Jenna Kutcher, Dean Graziozi, Roxy Nafusi, Almási Kitti and the list goes on and on. 

But recently I listened to Mel Robbins’ podcast  (I know, sorry, I adore this woman. 😅)and she said that this is just insecurity and we have to face our fear. If someone has done it, everyone can do it. And that’s just hit me on my face. I write about self-confidence here and I didn’t take my advice. 

So I started to do her Let Them theory (btw she published the book you can buy here. No, I don’t get any commission for this, I just love the theory and it works for me.😅) which by the way I wrote about it here. As Mel advises everyone, I let people judge me. I let people misunderstand me. I let people think what they want to think about me. And I let me don’t care. I let myself do what I want to do. It let me live my life the way I want to. I let myself help people in my way if that makes me feel good and happy. I am forever grateful for this woman because she changed my life so many times in many ways, and I hope you let me help change yours. 

Based on her lessons and many others in the past more than 10 years since I started to study motivation, mindfulness and self-development, I created my “system” to start working on my goals. These steps helped me to start so many things and I follow them now to create the life coaching/motivational speaker side of my life. 

So here are my 5 steps on how I gathered the courage to start something new (again😅):

  1. Identify the “problem”. In my case, the problem was my people-pleasing. I thought too much about what other people would say, do or think about me. I was paralysed by the fact that some of my friends and family members would turn back on me.
  1. Work on yourself and overcome the fear. This is where I used the Let Them theory. I let go of the negative thoughts, feelings and self-talk. I kept telling myself that I let them react how they want to react and let me be myself. I started to catch my negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. I accepted my fears, but I didn’t let these feelings keep me from taking action.
  1. Identify your goal. What do I want? I wrote everything down in very itemised and specific ways. You must be clear and 100% sure about the “what you want” part, otherwise it’s not a goal, it’s just a dream. You must declare your goal. Have to have a clear vision. In my case, I wrote down that I am a “professional” life coach/motivational speaker and how many clients I have per week. (Be careful with the words and make sure you speak like it already happened.)
  1. Have a strategy. I researched life coaching businesses, their websites and social media accounts to get ideas of what and how to do. What are the steps? What do I need? How can I be seen? What kind of content and posts should I create? How my website should look like? Who do I need to speak with?
  1. Take a small step. As I mentioned earlier, my website is not done, yet, but I made my first step. And it was to reach out to an amazing human with a huge heart, who is helping me to edit my site. Yes, sometimes the first step is to ask for help. In life, there are only a few things that you can achieve alone. You need other people’s help to get the success you wish. I am lucky enough to have wonderful people around me and I am forever grateful for them. 

I truly believe these steps simply because they worked for me in the past on several different occasions. And I hope they will work for you too. During a life coach session, we will go through these steps (and many more) and basically, I will hold your hands on your way to achieve what you want. These 5 steps are only the beginning of a long road to success. As I said, at the moment the service is in progress, but if you don’t want to miss it when it’s up and running, or you have any questions, please follow me on the social media platforms or the blog (links below the post). 😘 The blog will be only in English in the future too. However, the life coach section will be available both in English and Hungarian. (That’s one of the reasons why it is not up and running yet! It’s so hard to live a bilingual life! 😅)

So please give it a try to my “magic steps”, SpitFire” up and have fun while you become more confident than you can ever imagine! 😘

Oh, and please don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: Please follow me here, on Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest.

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10 easy steps before 2025!

Hello, hello

I hope you are having fun in the Christmas markets and getting ready for the holiday season. Well, I am. 😅 But while this time of the year is about Christmas and love, we should not forget another big celebration: New Year’s Eve! When I was a kid, I was so excited when the countdown started because I thought once the clock hit midnight, something wonderful would happen, and magically, I would have a new life. Year by year I stood beside my parents with my champagne (of course non-alcoholic) and waited for the magic which never happened. As I got older I realised that only because the year changes on the calendar nothing will change. We have to work for it. No one has a magic wand. The changes start with you.

While I enjoy the advent vibe, I also summarise the past 12 months. You cannot create anything new without cleaning the old. We all know that we have to make space for the new in our life. First, you must be honest with yourself and organise the good and the bad. What and who do you want to keep in your life and what are the things or people you have to let go to have a fresh start? I do this usually every quarter, but before New Year’s Eve, I create a list of things I have achieved and a list of what I must release. This is hard because you have to be brutally honest with yourself. I have an amazing exercise to close the year and set up the new goals for the next. It’s only 10 steps, but it has so much power.

  1. Grab a piece of paper and on the left side write down everything that went bad or gave you discomfort. I start with the so-called negative aspects of my life because these are the things I have to release. These things will give you tears and make you feel sad, disappointed and sometimes angry. Take a day when you focus on these things and feelings. Feel everything. Even if it’s hard. Cry, if must, but don’t hold anything back.
  1. The next day write down in the middle of the paper every lesson you have learnt. Every small and big realisation about yourself, the people you love, situations, career, money, etc. Every situation that you think it was a lesson. Then sit with them for the rest of the day.
  1. Finally, on the third day write down everything that you are grateful for the past year. Same as with the negatives or with the lessons, write down every big or small thing. And sit with it for a day or two or as long as you need.
  1. Summarise. What you could do better? What do you want to let go (or who)? What do you want to keep? What is still important?
  1. Once these are done, I want you to take an empty paper and write down all the things you want to achieve during the next year. Everything. Every big and small goal. No matter what comes to your mind just write it down on the paper. The number one rule: be honest with yourself. Don’t rush. This can take days. Have fun with it. Imagine that you have all the time and money in the world… what do you want?
  1. Whenever you feel you are ready with the list categorise the items. Here are some examples of categories: family and relationships, money, career, health, self-development, spirituality, fun, wellness, etc. 
  1. Once you have your categories, choose a maximum of three items from each category. The three that are the most important to you. (If you have difficulties choosing then use the “7 Whys Method” for each goal you wrote on your paper. You grab the item and ask seven times in writing why you want that.) Now you have your list of goals for the next 12 months.
  1. The most important thing is to take a small step towards each goal. One small thing. Ask yourself  “What can I do NOW to get…?” And do it. If you want to get healthier, for example, you can grab an apple right now and eat it. If you want to go to Italy next summer, stand up and get some money from your wallet and put it in the “Italian vacation” jar. Doesn’t matter what, but do one thing right away, so your brain attaches the list with success and doesn’t get overwhelmed by the amount of work you’ll have to do during the next year to achieve all the goals you wrote.
  1. Now that we have the list and made the first step, we have another very important thing to do: schedule follow-ups. Most people have New Year resolutions but they never achieve even the 3% of the list, only because they forget the list exists.  So to avoid failure schedule a day every month when you look at goals and decide what to do next or just check the process. Look at where you are and what is still accurate or what is not so important after all. (Remember that we are changing. Some of the goals were important in January, but while we go deeper into the year, so many things happen with us and some of the items on our paper will became less important and others will be priorities.) 
  1. The last bit is to divide the goals by the 12 months. The human brain cannot focus million things at once. If you try to do that and achieve everything in 30 days, you get overwhelmed, burn out and give up. Nobody can conquer the world in one day. So be wise and divide. May to achieve some of the goals you need help, or you can do them only in the Summer or Winter time. Think and organize.

I know that all of you are so happy and proud of your list and so excited about the next year, but one thing you never forget: let it go. I know you have the perfect list and the perfect plan, why should you let go? Because life happens. Always. And if you are so stubborn and don’t let Life/God/Universe give you a better option it will be a very hard year with so much suffering. Everything is happening for a reason and you get everything you want and what meat for you at the right time. Not sooner, not later. Enjoy the process, enjoy the ride that we call life. Because if you do, much better things can come into your life than the ones you just wrote on that paper. Please keep in mind that the goals are only guides, not rules. 

Here are some of my goals for 2025:

  • Eat healthier. Less sugar and more green. (Even though I will never be a salad girl! 😅)
  • Exercise more (daily walk and pilates, plus dance is fine, but I want to ride my bicycle more often and go hiking or have Zumba back into my life.)
  • Post often on the blog
  • Keep being the best auntie possible. 😎 And spend more time with my family.

These are my main priorities for 2025. I hope these give you some ideas. 😘

SpitFire up and face all your fears and failures. Create your dream list and enjoy the ride!😘But most importantly: Have Fun!!!!!🥰

Oh, and please don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: Follow me here, on Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest.

Facebook: @SpiritSpitfires

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Kings and Queens

Hello Guys,

I know, you are so surprised to have me again in such a short time. Don’t get used to it, but this subject has been on my mind for weeks and finally decided to come out.😅 So what you will read is about gender roles and their changes. Don’t worry I will not lecture or do a whole history class just my (and some wonderful ladies’) opinion. Like always, you can agree, disagree and please question everything I say.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a class (not about gender roles, but when a bunch of fantastic women sit together on a Saturday afternoon, anything can happen), and we started talking about fairy tales and how important they are for the kids’ growth. (I study pedagogy now.)Of course, when you talk about fairy tales and are a woman in your 30s, 40s, or 50s, you first think about Disney movies. And here is where all the magic started to happen.👸

100 years ago women had only one role: stay home and wait for their prince, he would sort out everything. Translation: women don’t have the right to vote or go to work, god forbids them even thinking about studying. I’m sure every one of you saw those commercials from the ‘50,’60 and ‘70 America where they display how should look like and behave a perfect wife. (if you are interested in this subject, watch the movie Monalisa’s Smile with Julia Roberts.) In Hungary was a bit different but not so much. Men went to work gave the money to their wives and in return, the love of their life did all the housework and took care of the kids. There were men’s jobs and women’s jobs and life was happy. And fairy tales based on this ideology. 

Look at Sleeping Beauty! She falls asleep, waits until the prince has done all the work, and finally shows up and kisses her. The best life ever! (By the way, I can be the best Sleeping Beauty, I love sleeping and it would be much better to pass my time via sleeping and wait for the goddamn price to kiss me than work and stress and save myself every single day!😉) Or Snowwhite! Come on! Same story. Okay with more poison, apples and dwarfs, but she waits while her prince fights the battles. – Little Mermaid, Cinderella, etc. The list goes on and on with the same theory. Girls have to do nothing while their men do all the work. They just have to be beautiful, doesn’t even have to say a single word. (It is even preferable to shut up and just be.) Was it good? Well,  it depends on who you ask, but in my opinion, it wasn’t good like this. (And we all agreed on it in my class.)

 But honestly, that was inherited from our parents and grandparents. I remember a conversation with my beloved grandma. I introduced my (ex) boyfriend to her and asked him to bring me my coffee. My grandma was so upset about MY behaviour and she told me that I could lose the guy if I didn’t start to act like a proper woman. I asked her what she meant and she told me that a woman’s job is to take care of her man and give everything to him, not the other way around.  And she did. I remember when Granny died we didn’t find Grandpa’s socks and he had no idea where they were because Granny prepared his outfit for the day every morning. She gave him breakfast, lunch, dinner, and coffee, and cleaned his clothes. She took care of the whole house. That’s how our parents were raised: men’s jobs and women’s jobs. But what about nowadays?

Look at the fairy tales. Merida…no need for a man, she handles everything. Rapunzel… she has a prop, Flint who helps her, but she does most of the work. Elsa…no man at all, but she is the hero. And that’s what our life looks like. Women became Heros. Life has changed a lot. Now women study, have lovely careers and don’t need a man. The world turned upside down. Women are more masculine than men. We struggle because society still wants us to do the “women’s jobs”, but get a degree first and have around the same amount of money that your man takes home. If you are single you get a stamp that you are a careerist, ambitious, and too strong. And because our men have become more feminine they are “scared” of a strong woman. Why scared? Well, a strong and independent woman is her own Hero. She doesn’t need to be saved or rescued anymore. A strong woman doesn’t need a man…but wants one badly. So she kisses millions of frogs until she finds her prince and doesn’t wait for the one. (I would be so grateful if someone just let me know the exact amount of frogs that should kiss because I’m f@cking tired of kissing the animals.🤷‍♀️) But what is the problem?

Communication! I had a discussion with my friend and mentor. She told me an interesting theory and she is right. So we talked about gender differences and how we feel as single women (she is a single mother too). We agreed that the main issue is the lack of communication. If we look at our lives we can see that we are afraid to speak up because of the “what ifs”. 

“What if they do not like me if I say such and such?” “What if my boss fires me and I do not have a job and I have to find another place (which by the way you wanted to do a million years ago because it is a sh@twhole, but you are too lazy to take the time and energy to get another one.)” “What if the guy will never call or text me back if I say honestly that I do not like his style or how he treats me?” “What if I tell my Dad that it feels so embarrassing when he treats me like a kid in front of the whole family?” All those “what ifs”. So we do not say anything, just assume or expect the other one to have a minimum of a crystal ball and know what we want. 

Another thing is when we open our mouths but avoid the “hard” conversations and talk about the total bullsh@t. Seriously, when you are over 30 and you are a woman the most important question is what the guy’s favourite colour is on your first date, instead of asking his view of the future (kids, marriage, plans, goals, etc.)? I mean, yes, if you are a teenager this will be one of the most important along with his favourite food and band, but over 30???? Come on ladies!!!! You don’t talk about these because “what if I scare him away”. Guess what?! If he runs away because of these questions, he is a boy and not a man and, if you don’t want to raise someone else’s kid, he is not the one for you. Thank God you figured this out on the first date instead of on your 10th anniversary.

My friend told me something interesting. Back in the day generations lived together and great-grandparents and grandparents helped the women to raise the kids, plus they did not have to work, so they never stressed, because they had help…without asking. Later grandparents were there. When women went back to work they were there and the community had a huge role too. In villages, people knew and helped each other with everything. Nowadays generations live separately, women have the same expectations from society and no one helps or they are conditioned not to ask for help. If we ask for help we feel weak and powerless. That’s what we learn in school too. If you ask for help the other kids laugh at you and start bully (“you dumbass”) or some teachers even note that you are not clever enough. You ask help from your parents as a kid and they are either not at home or don’t have time because of their million other activities. We do not communicate our needs, especially women because we saw in Moana that we have to sort out everything alone and all the positive quotes say that we are strong and able to reach the sky alone. I see that we can do so much and much more than we can imagine on our own, but there are times when we must ask for help and that’s not a weakness, that’s one of the strongest things ever, to leave our pride and admit that we are only human.

Last but not least, my friend has a 13-year-old son. He asked her how to deal with a girl. (Cute, yeah?😊) She told him the 3 ways to be in a relationship, but the first thing she said to him is this: “You sit down and talk about how you imagine your future together. Based on the girl’s answers there are 3 ways to live in a relationship and treat her.” The problem starts here. Parents are not teaching their sons how to deal with a girl or daughters how to treat a boy. Kids don’t learn what it means to be a man or woman. How to act, talk, be one and how to deal with the other gender. We do not have a relationship or gender classes. We learn everything from our experiences and we have so many failures until we may become lucky and finally, that Frog turns into The Prince. Women and men go out to the world without knowing who they are or what are their values and how to treat each other. No boundaries, only insecurity.

So what’s the conclusion? Women don’t need to cut the grass, fix the car or take the first step with the man they are so crazy about (let him be the man), even if you can. Men don’t have to bend and do all the housework, and raise the kids by themselves (but help is a MUST HAVE) especially if they don’t want to. But if you want something, please men up and make the first move, ask her out, call her first or text her without waiting for her to text you (because she is waiting for you as she is a WOMAN). Aka. Girls, it is okay, if you let the guys help kill the dragons and guys, please get your balls back and save us even if we don’t need it, please do not let us be the Hero all the time. 

Okay, even if you are a man or a woman SpitFire up your role and live your life!😘Finally, I want to leave you with Dr. Sara Al Madani’s quote: “ Men and women are not compete with each other they complete each other.”😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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10 season-changing tips

Hello guys,

I hope you are well and having a wonderful Fall. As much as I love pumpkin spice lattes, I still prefer iced coffees during hot summer days. BUT very soon we reach the second best time of the year… yeeeess, Christmas Baby!!!🤪 (Sorry, Grincses!!!! 😅)

Anyway, I’m not sure how you feel, but the days are getting shorter, the nights are getting longer, and the weather is chilly and miserable, so for me, it’s a hard job to get out of bed and not just stay there with a nice book and my coffee. Not to mention get sh@t done and be positive in the meantime. This is the hardest season-changing in the year. I’m excited when we enter the Christmas holiday season or not a problem with the “from Winter to Spring” short time. (As you know me, I love Summer, so I’m sure I don’t have to explain my relationship with that change. 😅)So if you relate, I have good news. During my time in London (where most of the time the weather is like this and not just in the autumn) I’ve tried many things to lift my mood and make it easier this period of the year. I found 10 easy things that helped me out of the season change.

  1. Go outside for a little walk. I know and I can even hear: “WTF is wrong with you? Are you crazy? It’s f@cking cold outside!”🤣- Well you are right, but research (and me) proved that only a 10-minute walk lifts your mood, clears your head, helps focus and reduces stress hormones in your body.
  1. Morning exercise. It can be anything. I do 30-40 minutes of yoga or pilates every morning and after that, I feel like I’m a brand new woman who can and will conquer the world. But it can be anything. Go to the gym and lift some weights.💪 Run, if you like. (I do if I have to… for my life.) Most important is to move your body a little bit because exercise will give you a dopamine boost so your mood will be instantly better.
  1. Meditate. Any kind of meditation can help. Focus inside, release the things that no longer serve you, and be quiet. Meditation can be a long walk in nature or sitting on a bench. Don’t necessarily have to be long. 5 minutes is more than enough if you are short on time. The most important is that you are in the present. We are so worried about our past mistakes and all the “what ifs” or stressing about the future, so we forget to enjoy the present. 🧘‍♀️
  1. Be with your loved ones. While the summer is all about going out, fall is more about staying in. But you can still interact with others. Organise a movie night or watch the match together at home. Some like to play board games nights, while others prefer the spa evenings. Family dinners are cool too. No matter what, just do with people who cheer you up. Human interactions are the best mood lifters. You will feel engaged, belonged and valued. 
  1. Dance. When I feel down and have no idea what to do to feel better, I always turn on my music and start dancing. Music is the best cure for everything. When you dance, you move your body and let go of all the stress, and worries and you are in the present. You do not have to be a dancer that’s the beauty of it. Just turn off your mind, feel the music and rhythm, and just be free. Loose yourself, and all the expectations and don’t care about anything else. (Well make sure you use earphones or the volume is not so high because usually, the neighbors’ music taste doesn’t match yours. I’ve tried and they weren’t happy. 🙄🤷‍♀️)
  1. Candles and coffee (or tea). When the days are darker we need as much light as possible. Light up a candle have your favourite coffee or tea and sit for a while. Feel the warmth, gratitude and, safety that a small flame can gives you. Give your soul and mind a bit of time. Buy a candle with your favourite smell. Like this, all of your five senses can be satisfied. Better if you have someone to smuggle with you while you do this lovely and relaxing “exercise”. (P.S. It can be a nice way to meditate too.😘)
  1. Journal. When you feel sad a bit because summer has just gone, grab a piece of paper and write down all the good memories. Everything and everyone why and who you are grateful for. Fill your soul and mind with warm feelings. We usually go back to the past to analyse our mistakes and blame ourselves. So why don’t we use our minds to recall happy memories? (Another good way to do this is if you don’t have pen and paper around you and need an instant mood lift if you check your photo album on your smartphone or social media.😉)
  1. Celebrate. Celebrate every small victory. Permit yourself to feel proud. Did you manage to get out of bed? Good, celebrate with a coffee. Have you done your job? Cool. Let’s eat your favourite cake. Done your morning exercise? High-five yourself. No matter what you accomplish during the day, reward yourself. Doesn’t have to be a big thing (but if you have the money you can buy the new iPhone as a reward 😉). Just make sure you let your mind know that you are super cool. (I know so many of you are on a diet and now shouting to me… hey, it can be anything, not necessary to reward with food. A smile to your reflection in the mirror with a nice affirmation, such as “You are the best, b@tch, we’ve done it!” is fine. However, BigMac with Coke is a bit more satisfying.😜)
  1. Watch a funny movie. While watching a comedy your body produces dopamine and you will feel happy and excited again. My go-to movie is Mamma Mia. Dance, Music, fun and romance together. What is your favourite happy movie? Sit down and give yourself time to enjoy it. When you feel a piece of sh@t, you just do yourself a favour and laugh. Allow yourself a bit of a smile. 
  1. Process the sadness. I know it doesn’t sound so positive and mood-lifting, but to move on is necessary to feel everything. If you just try to be happy and you forget to deal with the not-so-pleasant things, you create a resistance in your body and it will cause much more harm than good. So first sit down, feel the sh@t, cry, and let out the anger and the depression, so after that, you will have space for the good. There are many ways to release negative emotions, find yours. (I’m thinking about a full post with release techniques.🤔 Let me know if you want to hear them. 😂)

Don’t worry too much about the depressive weather and all those feelings, just let go of what no longer serves you and do something that makes you feel happy. Trust me all seasons are come and go, this one too. Very soon you will be ready to celebrate life (and Christmas😅) again. I am holding your hand and with you on this. Tom Hanks said once that the best advice he ever had was: “It shall pass!” Well guys Fall will pass soon so enjoy the good part of it, the colorful leaves, the pumpkins, the Halloween (I love that spooky night too.😅) and try to be in the present as much as you can. 

So nothing left to say other than Spice up your latte, fire up your candles and walk through Fall together because we are the SpitFires and SpitFires never left anyone behind.😘 

Oh, and please don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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25 life lessons from the past twelve months

Hello guys,

I hope you are well and enjoying the last few days of the 2024 Summer! 😊

So yesterday was the first anniversary of my move back to Hungary and many things happened during the past 12 months. The most repeated question in my life is: Do you regret moving back from London? Well, I had ups and downs, I had to throw away many of my “Plans” and almost nothing went according to my “Master Plan”, but I have learnt a lot. I have learnt from myself, my friends, my family, my life, the life back home, people I have left in London, work, challenges, etc. So instead of telling you all the ups and downs, I just want to focus on the lessons I have learnt, so maybe you will benefit from them too. Because I think these help us grow and be better.

So here are my 25+1 life lessons from the past 12 months: 

  1. My nephew’s smile is the best cure for everything. 😇
  2. It’s worth it to be brave and go out of your nutshell and try new things.
  3. If someone wants to see you, they will find the time and opportunity. (Even if they travel around Europe!) 😉
  4. You do not need so much money to organise a kids’ party.
  5. I still look cute in my Santa hat. 🤶
  6. Time with your family and friends you cannot buy on money.
  7. I can be happy alone too.
  8. Walk 8000 steps or more and you lose 5kg under 2 months. 😉
  9. No matter how kind, good-looking, nice or helpful you are, you will always have haters. And that’s okay because it means you doing good.👠
  10. Let people judge you. You have nothing to do with their opinion. You are not equal with the things people say or think about you.
  11. Sunset is ALWAYS magical. Every day is the same and every day is different.
  12. The beach is my happy place. It calms my mind and helps me to let go of things that no longer serve me.
  13. A 70-year-old random lady can become one of the nicest friends ever.🥰
  14. You must go out, especially when you want the less.
  15. Someone will never change because they do not want to. Let them be and try to avoid contact with them or cut them out if possible. 
  16. I can’t/won’t and want to save everyone. Everyone has to take responsibility for their actions. I do not have to fix everything and everyone.
  17. If you want something, believe it, work hard for it and if it is meant for you to have it, you will. Just try never to give up.
  18. Music is the best therapy!!!!! (No more comment, that’s it!) 👨‍🎤🎸
  19. Hungary isn’t so cold during the Winter, but the snow is magical. ❄
  20. Have a healthy diet, take care of your body and shape, BUT… absolutely unacceptable and even I think it should be charged the people who don’t eat lángos, chimney cake and drink beer during the Summer, next to the Balaton!!!! That’s it! No excuse! Sorry! Seriously, who hurt you in your childhood??? 🤣😝
  21. When you are 35 years old or above, you cannot party 3 nights in a row. Nope! Trust me, I have tested this theory for you guys! 😅 (By the way, you’re welcome!😂) (If you can, you are my Hero and please message me the secret😅)
  22. Nothing will go according to “The Plan”, but be excited about what better things will come.
  23. Seeing old friends helps you close parts of your past you thought that they are closed already and warms your heart.
  24. You never know when you meet new friends. Some will stay and some will not and that’s okay. Most of our friends are only for a season and not for a lifetime. Be grateful for the time together and when/if the time has come, release them. Everyone is just a passenger in our life. 
  25. You need to be careful because people understand the language you speak. (Long, funny, but so embarrassing story, not today.)😅

+1: Be excited for the future and try not to control everything in your life. Shit will happen and it’s okay. Feel bad, be angry, cry, do whatever feels good. Stop, relax and then kick your ass (or if you are a woman, straighten your crown), Spitfire up and move forward! If you believe it much better things will come than you can ever imagine!👑

Oh, and please don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: Thank you for the pancake offers guys, you are amazing!!!!!!!! I am so grateful for your kindness! 🤣

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No husband, no kids, no pancakes aka single woman’s life in Hungary

Hello guys,

What’s up? I hope you are well and enjoying the Summer. It has been a while since I last wrote to you, but contrary to beliefs, a single woman has a life too with many tasks.

And my last sentence is the main reason I’m here. What is the connection between the pancakes and the single life? Well, trust me you will understand it very soon. Let me start with a story from a couple of months ago. So I asked my Mom to make pancakes for me. Of course, she said yes, but something always happened so I left without pancakes. (I know I can do it for myself and why am I waiting for my mother to do this for me? But trust me, it is much better if I do not even start the pancakes…anything else but this food. 😅) Later on, it seemed that the stars were aligned, and I could eat this delicious dessert…but something happened again…my mother asked my sister-in-law what she wanted to eat (because our family gathered together again) and said something else. 

Now I want to stop here for a second before any misunderstanding happens. I love my sister-in-law and I love the food she suggested, plus my mom didn’t say yes to her on purpose or because she disrespected me or she put anyone above me. Life just happened and mom forgot that she promised the pancakes to me. So you can ask what is the issue then? The “issue” was that my amazing mother told me when I confronted her that “your sister-in-law carries my next grandchild”. It makes sense and I agree, but a few months earlier my dad told me that he could not ask my brother about something (that I totally forgot and not even relevant) because my brother has his family and he has a life. I told my dad that even though I do not have a family of my own I have my life too. But he said that’s nothing, you do not have a life until you have your own family. 

And these two events made me think. So if I read this situation correctly, if you do not have a husband and kids, you do not have a life aka you have time and energy to do everything that everyone wants and your vote will count next time whenever you get at least a boyfriend next to you. Hmm. Interesting.🤔😅 It seemed that I had to get pregnant to get my pancakes.😱😅

I started to think and recognise some basic truths about how your family, friends and the people around you usually see you in Hungary (especially in the countryside) if you are 35 years old, a woman and single. First I want to clarify some things. There are two types of singles. 

  • The ones who chose to be single. They do not want family, kids or the complications that even a relationship could cause. 
  • And there is another type (just like me), life happened. They want to have a family, kids and all the other things, but Life hasn’t given it to them yet. They are not single by choice. 

And the biggest problem is that no one makes an effort to ask you which single group you are in. Most people don’t even realize that types exist. They just automatically assume that you chose to be single. This is what you want. 

When I used to live in London, no one cared. Why would they? 10-12 million people in the city, and nothing new under the sun. I wasn’t the only one who didn’t have a relationship. The age is crucial in this subject. If we lived in the Bridgerton era, I would be called a spinster… well, I am called the spinster nowadays too (totally like Bridget Jones).🤣 Anyway, in London, no one cares if you go to the Mall in your pyjamas on Sunday afternoon, so obviously they care less about your marital status?!

BUT in Hungary… different. ( I know if I lived in a big city here in Hungary would be easier too). Big city, with millions of people, so no one knows you. In Hungary, the whole country’s population is less than the number of people living in London. It means that everyone in the country knows everyone or at least some who knows someone, who knows at least one of your relevant.🙄 And we Hungarians are very judgy. We judge everything and everyone. The social expectation in the countryside is that you have to be married, have at least one kid, your house and car in your garage before the age of 30. If you are at least not married before you hit the third X and you are a woman… you better dig your grave and wait for death, because “you will die alone”. (Or at least that’s what they say.)

So here are some of the latest examples I have heard regarding my marital status from my beloved circle:

  1. “Something is wrong with you! You are too picky, you are not good enough or you are way too strong so every man just runs away from you.”- I do not even want to comment on this. 😂
  2. “We are worried because kids are the meaning of life.” I love the kids and I wish to have one, but still, I think my life has a purpose without them too. Maybe I am wrong. 🤔
  3. “There aren’t many decent guys left at your age, you cannot be picky otherwise you will never get married. (and die alone)” Again, I wish to get married one day, but I rather live alone than be in a toxic relationship just to be married and have kids, so our society accepts me. No one can make you happy, you are the one who is responsible for your happiness. Plus not everyone is that lucky to find her/his other half 10-15 years ago and live happily ever after. (At least not that much I know.)
  4. “You need a husband, a house, a kid, a dog and a car, so your life can be happy.”- No one ever asked me what makes me happy. Some people are happy alone. Some of us are just happy if we can travel instead of changing diapers.

These are just the few sentences I have to hear. Getting a boyfriend is not easy. It is not like I go to Tesco and buy one. I do not choose to be single. Life happened. I had relationships, I had my heart broken and during the pandemic, I closed myself and now I try to open up again. If you ever had a heartbreak, you know it is hard to get out and trust again. However, I try, to give everyone a possibility. I do not search for a boyfriend, husband or anything… he will come whenever it is the time. (Well, if not then I inherit everything to my nephews. 😅) I am fine as it is, to be honest. But I am sharing with you my last two experiences (just to support my claim)…since these two men, I care less about dating than ever. 

  1. He is a lovely guy, so nice and kind. However, after 2 days of talking on the phone (not even meeting), he told me that his goals are for this year to get married and have a kid. (It was in the middle of February). – I mean, I want these things but NOT TOMORROW!!!!!🤣I am not desperate. Plus this is another important thing to mention, that there is a difference between wanting a kid or a family. I do not want a kid just to have one and thick on my list… I want a family with a partner to grow together and support each other. 

Also, this guy told me, he would give his salary to his wife, but he wants her to clean, wash the dishes, cook, do the laundry, etc. But in return, he will do the “men’s jobs”.- I can cut the grass too, thank you. I am not a feminist and I want the guys to open the door for me but to share the housework (men and women work too) is basic with me. I do not wish to be anyone’s maid. 

  1. This last one wasn’t even a date or anything. The guy liked me so much and he couldn’t be more obvious even if he would try to. We met at my friend’s house and for the whole evening, he just talked about how beautiful my eyes are and how lovely my smile is, etc.- So the point is that he was cute, but he doesn’t like to take care of personal hygiene. No more explanation… I do not even want to go into this. Let your imagination work. 

So after these two I “gave up”.😅 Trust me there were more interesting stories, but a woman never gave out all her secrets. Maybe I am picky, but to me personal hygiene, nice talk about various things or not dealing with me as an object is important. I am not perfect. I have millions and millions of defaults. My teeth are not straight, I have a couple of wrinkles, I am chubby during the winter, I am also stubborn, loud, passionate and very moody, but I know my values. 

Even though it is annoying to listen to people’s judgement, I do not care. Don’t get me wrong it bothered me and I felt I was nothing and no one… I even started to feel depressed again, but I stopped and started to think and then I realized something that I always tell you guys: At the end of the day doesn’t matter what people think of you until you are happy with yourself and your life. And I am. I am not where I thought I would be at my age, but I am happy with what I have. I have plans, goals and dreams, just like everyone else. What will happen next I am not sure. I have no idea how my life will be in 5 years, but I do not let other people’s noise get into my head and destroy the good things in my life.

So being single or married, divorced or in a relationship, doesn’t matter your material status, the only thing matters the most is that how you feel about yourself and your life.

SpitFire up and enjoy this period of your life because you never know what tomorrow will bring.🤗

Oh, and please don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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Blue Ribbon Regatta

Hello Guys,

I hope you enjoy the Summer just as much as I do. I didn’t plan to write to you today, however, I had a huge realisation about life and myself this morning because of the Blue Ribbon Regatta.

The Blue Ribbon Round the Lake Balaton is an international sports event, the most prestigious and oldest in Europe. It is a round-the-lake competition. Start and end in Balatonfüred. 50 boat classes, 155+km, 48 hours and around 500 boats. One of the most amazing views is when the lake is full of sailboats. This year’s Blue Ribbon started yesterday and since I can remember, I always wanted to see with my own eyes this event. Well, yesterday I had a chance.

I was super excited and didn’t want to miss a chance to see the boats sailing near my town’s beach. Thanks to the organisers and the technology everyone could track the boats’ ways (here you can see the last ones), I constantly looked at my phone. But Life happened. The start was amazing and they were quick, but the wind stopped and only a few lucky ones made it true to the strait, the rest were stuck. So when I went to see them, I could only see a few and the sunset was what I imagined in my head (full of sails) lost in the wind. However, the view was amazing with or without 500 boats.

Today I woke up, checked the tracker and saw the news. The winner is last year’s champion, who was only the 10th during almost the entire race and on the Keszthely’s turning point this boat had a 1 hour and 48 minutes backlog from the first 3 boats, but the MLS Raiffeisen Fifty-Fifty (congratulations to the team) won again with only one minute after a 12 hours and 24 minutes race. And that made me think and realise two things.

Life is like a boat trip or even a regatta. You only need one good wind and you can do the impossible. With a bit of luck, the 2 hours backlog became nothing. What is this if not the best example of Life/God?! We start good, happy, everything is fine… then Life happens and all of a sudden, the wind stops and we are stuck and our hands are tight. We accept the facts and move forward. One step at a time or one meter at a time. Using the tiniest wind we have and hoping, praying for more. We just keep going and keeping our faith. And when we accept our situation, and the circumstances, letting go of all the expectations… the wind finally comes. If we have enough experience, knowledge, and compassion, paired with a bit of luck we can win. We get the job, the house, the money, the relationship, everything we prayed and hoped for. But we need to believe and keep our faith. You never know which day will be the day that change your life entirely.

The other thing I have realised is more personal. Since I can remember I have been obsessed with sailboats. I have no idea why, but these things amazed me. Well, of course, they are slim, elegant, proud and free. Once you go to the open water nothing is around you, so calm too. I know they are symbols of freedom and many others before me used this metaphor, but I have never really realised what this truly means to me. I heard it but never touched by it. The sailors’ knowledge without the wind is nothing and also vice-versa. You need the help of Life/God. Also in your life. If the water is smooth and calm the boat is “happy”, just like us when things are in order. But when the storm comes, there are waves and the boat needs its captain’s knowledge and power to stay stable, we need our knowledge and strengths to keep up when Life/God through the storm. We have to keep our focus when life is “hard” and wants to teach us something important. Sailboats represent everything I wish to have in my life: elegance, smoothness, focus, pride, freedom, etc.

I have never had the privilege to be a passenger nor to step foot on a deck, but I still love and adore these things. In my eyes, they are the Queens of Balaton, they are the symbols of Life and freedom for me.If you wish to see pictures of the regatta and the breathtaking sunset with them click here on The Blue Ribbon’s Facebook page.

Have fun guys, Spitfire up and don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘 Here are some pictures I managed to take.😅

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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“Dearest Gentle Reader!”

Don’t worry, I will not start and never be able to copy the one and only Lady Wistledown, but this letter is addressed directly to you. (Plus I am obsessed with The Bridgertons at the moment.🤣) However, this isn’t the cause I remained silent for this long. I had to make many decisions during the past few months, including whether I wish to continue this blog. 

This blog was born because I always wanted to write a blog and continued since I moved back to Hungary to help me keep my English. But this became an update page for the lazy people around me. Many people around me started to ask when I created an update because since I moved home they know less about me than when I lived in London, simply because I posted more while I was back there. And to be honest that’s when I realised that I became a “people pleaser” again. I forget to read and use my post about this subject. ( Well, we learn until we die, I guess. 😅)

Since I started my life at home, unconsciously I came back to my old habits and old patterns which are attached to this country and the life I lived 11 years ago before I stepped foot on British soil. Even most of the people around me think that those years have not made any marks on me or worse, they simply ignore the fact that London changed me a lot, the truth is that I am not the same 23-year-old girl who left back then. So no, I will not pretend that I am she. Some things will never change such as the fact that I will always be a village girl, who speaks too much, laughs loudly and is way too sentimental, but I grow up now. And that’s something that everyone must accept. Of course, this was my fault entirely, I let them deal with me as if nothing happened in the past few years.

I decided to write in Hungarian too because I had enough of the fact that my friends asked me to do so. But honestly, I never wanted to write in my mother tongue. I wanted to improve my English when I started. This blog as I mentioned in one of my first posts is not for you who read it, it is for me who write it. Of course, I intend to help as many people as possible via my stories, and if you make an effort to read them, may or may not you get something. 

So no, I will not write in Hungarian in the future, because if you care about what is in this, you can make a small effort and use the Google Translator. And I post when I feel I have time and energy, but not when you want me to. This site will not be an update page for all the lazy ones. I understand it is easier to read what is going on in my life instead of calling, texting, messaging or contacting me in any other form of communication. I still want to help and that is still my mission with this blog, but with my own rules. I do not wish to check the stats that how many people read what I said or constantly wait for some feedback, so I feel approved, loved and precious. My psychology studies reminded me of something. Especially Maslow’s hierarchy of needs pyramid. Maslow argued that survival needs must be satisfied before the individual can satisfy the higher needs. He said we first must satisfy the need for love and belonging or safety before we can do anything with self-actualization. Well, the only problem is that we think (most of the time we even strongly believe) that these needs can be satisfied only externally. I wanted to be loved and feel to belong so I bent my other needs and personality to fit in. And of course, the biggest lie: “ I do not want to hurt anyone.” Let me tell you something, You cannot hurt anyone and no one can hurt you, just like no one able to make you happy or loved, if you do not let them. Every level of the pyramid can and should be satisfied inside of you first and then, you can attract the external too.

I decided to live my life, write my blog and organise my time how it fits ME. If you want to be part of my journey I am so happy and you are more than welcome to read my words and hopefully get some help or at least laugh a bit about my silliness. You can write to me anytime on any platform, but I do not continue to write just for you, Dearest Gentle Reader. Those of you who are my friends or family members, I love you so much and without your support, I would be lost for sure, but if I do not post in 2 months and you want to know what is going on in my life because you care about me, please grab your “very” smart phones and drop a message, anytime. 😘

I know it wasn’t the usual Silly SpirtFiry post, but behind this screen, I am a human too. And as I always telling you: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘 

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: I hope, I will be back soon with some funny content about the Life of a Single in Hungary…trust me it matters the country and the city regarding this subject.😅 Love you all!!!

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XOXO,

Krisz😘