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3 steps, and you have a price tag

Hello, hello

I hope you had a lovely week and had so much fun. As I mentioned in my previous post, I started to write this post and I was almost done, but then life happened and I re-wrote it. Don’t worry, I still write about the price tags, how, when, why, and what to do with those (little) buggers. I will share my 3 steps technique. 😎

We all know that if you want to buy something, you will get a little tag on it with the price. That’s normal when you go shopping. Doesn’t matter if it is clothes, shoes, groceries, electronics, or any other stuff, it will come with a price tag. We also know that nothing is free in the world. We pay for our internet, electricity, gas (for the last two we pay a lot nowadays), hairdresser, cosmetics, nail technician, gym, etc. So we pay for everything that we want. And these things are normal and we do not even think about these tags, because we know these are the “extras” and we learned at a very young age that we have money, so we pay for the things we buy exactly the amount that is on these little tags. (Unless you are in Hungary in the market, there you must negotiate the price Baby! 😅)

What are the price tags? Of course, we know that these things will tell us how much it cost the desired item or service we wish to have. Simple, easy, and common sense. No one needs to think about how much a new dress will cost (which by the way you need because you do not have anything to wear on Saturday night when you go out with the girls… that’s obvious), because there is the price tag and you can decide by the price if it is worth it for you or not (guess what, the new dress will worth the price and no, doesn’t matter the numbers, trust me). And we all know this, but there is something that no one teaches us in school, no one explains and everyone assumes that you know…everything comes with a price tag means, literally EVERYTHING, even your dreams and especially your goals.

The question is never whether you will have to pay for your wishes or not…no. The question is always: how much? But with our dreams, goals, and desires it is tricky because you cannot find a price tag that will tell you that, if you decide to chase your dreams means you will not see your family for maybe at least 1,5- 2 years, do you want this? No. No one will provide a price tag for those things, but trust me you will get them sooner or later. So how do you know the price tag, if no one telling you? How you can decide if your price tag is worth it or not? Well, that’s why when you set up a goal, you have to set up a price tag too. Otherwise, if you wait for Life/God/Universe to give you one… well, I am 99% sure you will not like it, but far worst, you will hate it as hell. Life always tests us. Just like a mother testing their child if they are sure they want pizza for breakfast (yes, for breakfast, and yes they will want it), Life will test you the same way. It will ask you if you are sure you want that desired thing. Also if we think about it is easier than with the other things in our life, because if you go to the grocery store and they say the milk’s price is xyz, you buy the milk for that price and you are not able to change it (okay, I know you can buy in another store, or find the cheapest in elsewhere, or go to the Hungarian market and negotiate, but please stick to the theory). However, you can decide how much will cost your goals, and how much you are willing to pay for them. Also, you can increase or decrease the amount, at any time.

So the last question is, how do we set up our dreams’ prices? (We already decided what we want, and we have our “why” too, furthermore we even brainstormed what things will make us happy, so that could be indicators as well.) How I do, it when I set up a price for my goals, is super easy. Only 3 steps.

  1. I take a piece of paper and write everything that I think I will have to do to achieve my goal. Everything. Even the smallest things. I usually do not stop until I have at least 50 items on my list, that’s the minimum and no maximum. (brainstorm)
  2. Once it is done, I will start to rate them from 1 to 10 on how likely I will want to do the thing. 1 is for me the “No, Not at all, Never Ever” and 10 is the “Hell yeah! Let’s do this Baby!”
  3. When  I have the rated list, I will just summarize the things which were rated between 8 and 10. To make sure it is clear. After that just mark 3 or 5, so you will not feel overwhelmed and you most likely will do those 3-5 things. Guess what? Those things will be your goal’s price tag.😘

Do you see? I told you it is very easy. Okay so let’s see an example from my past and then I will let you have fun with your own price tags. So during the pandemic, I decided to lose weight. Not because I was fat, but because I wanted to be healthier and in better shape. I knew I wanted to lose at least 5kg (sorry guys, you convert it for yourself, I can’t and don’t want to please everyone😘). (I have done the 7 levels of deep, below the “What is your “why”?” post, someone asked me for an example from me regarding this exercise and shared there in a comment my “why?” for this.)

  1. I have set down and listed everything that I thought I could do to get the result. For example, exercise 2 hours a day, lift weights, eat more vegetables and fruits, leave bread, no pasta, no sweets, no hamburgers, drink at least 2l water a day, sleep at least 8 hours, etc. The list was soooooo long. 
  2. Sleep, drink water, eat more healthy stuff: Absolutely 10, “Hell yeah!” I will do those things, I love them. Easy baby!😎 But no pasta, no bread, no sweets?!?!?! NOOOO. “No, Never Ever!!!” 😱
  3. Last step, to make sure I will not feel overwhelmed and exhausted, I made a list that every day I will drink 2l water, sleep at least 8 hours, and eat healthier, but I will count calories (eat everything, but make sure smaller portions), Sunday is my cheat day, so I can eat sweets and exercise a lot (which is easy for me because I am still hyperactive). 

This was my price tag. I could and would pay this price to lose weight. I can confirm that I did. In 6 months I lost 5kg without suffering because I find my way, the way was fit for me and I knew what the price would be and I was willing to pay it. 

Also very important as I always say, to listen to yourself. This exercise helped me to set up my goals or achieve them, but may it will not be yours. I have tried many other things until I found the techniques which work for me. So try it and if it works, fine, if not, well don’t worry, there are millions of other exercises. You just need to find the one which will fit you. Oh, and you can change it just as the shops do with their prices… either you can raise or lower down. No limits and no failure if you feel that something is not worth it anymore.

Now, come on, GOOOO, and set up your goals’ price tags, but before you start don’t forget to (Spit)fire up yourself.

Love you guys and make sure you know that: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: Any questions, or concerns, please DM me on Instagram, or Facebook or just leave a comment. Love you all! 

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Dolce far niente

Hello!!!!!

I know it’s been two weeks since my last post and I promised I would share some tools to get out of feeling burnt out, but life happened. Actually, I started to write about the price tags last week and I am almost done so that you can read it soon, but first I wanted to talk about doing something really important from time to time for our perfect healing. It is “Dolce Far Niente”. 

I know you are confused and you think I am actually crazier than ever (except if you are one of my Italian friends or readers because I am sure you guys are laughing so hard). That’s okay. I started to learn Italian. Actually, I am very good at the cookies’ names now, which is so hard because I have to try a lot to know about their meanings, but everything for learning.😅 As you all know I love Italy and everything that is Italian, but this came from totally elsewhere. And I confused you more.😅Sorry, this is when ADHD hits during writing. Let me clear the air. 

Last Sunday I woke up after a really nice and relaxing sleep and I felt I want to do nothing. Not because I was sad or depressed, no. I actually just wanted to have one PJ day. I haven’t had it since a long time ago and I just felt I want to stay in my bed, watch movies, and not even bother to dress up. Then I felt the guilt. I am sure you all know the feeling. You want to do nothing, but you have miles-long to-do lists. Clean the house, cooks something for dinner, walk the dog, take care of your kids, maybe do some laundry, etc. I know just as my list goes on and on and on and always came new things, as yours too. I was hesitating. I should come out of bed and do my million tasks, because on Monday I will have to go to the office again (okay, I am lying now, because my Monday was off last week, but that’s another different story) and when I arrive home, I feel so tired and the lists of the excuses are the only longer list than my to-do list. So I felt guilty and lazy. I have projects in my life and if I stay one day in my bed, I waste so much time actually doing something to feel better and achieve my goals.  (We talked previously about what is the difference between being lazy or you give yourself the necessary time to heal, but we will later on for sure.) I started to panic as well, so total chaos and it was five minutes after I had my coffee. And then the miracle happened. I realized the most important tool I have to share with you first is “Dolce Far Niente”. (Also I have to use it in my life.)

I love Eta, Pray, Love movie, not just because they happened to be in the most beautiful places in the World or because Julia Roberts is one of my favorite actresses…no. I love this movie (and the book too) because it teaches you basic lifehacks. Unfortunately, not all of us can hit the pause button and just quit our life for a year to travel around the world and find ourselves, but if you watch the movie, you can discover so many lessons. 

And one of the most important is “the sweetness of doing nothing”. That’s what dolce far niente means. Of course, Italians are the masters of it, but we can learn as well. And if we wish to be healthy we should. I don’t say that you leave your kids behind and go for a weekend alone to rest. Not everyone can afford it or do it, but I say that you should have at least 1-2 hours each week when you don’t do anything and do not feel guilty. If you can have a day even better. To have time with yourself is just as much important then to get the tools and doing the actual work. You have one life, do whatever you like to do, what makes you feel happy. Of course, until you not hurting other people around you. I don’t say you should quit your life, we all have responsibilities but start to think about what you really want, what you enjoy.

You know what? This is today’s tool kit, called brainstorm. Take a piece of paper and write down everything you like in your life. Every single thing that makes you happy. List what makes you excited. Everything. We have five main aspects of our life: Social, financial, mental, physical, and emotional. This is the exercise. So simple. Just write down each category and write next to them what makes you happy. Once it is done, you will feel better and you know where to start your healing process. Circle three things (the most important ones in the category) and start to focus on how you can make them more.

This is how you will enjoy your life, this is how you will enjoy the sweetness of doing nothing. Because you need it. Everyone needs it. So guess what I have done last Sunday? Yes, you are right, nothing and I enjoyed all the minutes of it.😊

We don’t always need to overcomplicate our lives, just listen to your soul/instincts/gut, and it will tell you what you need. And if it says that you need to do nothing…well, who you are to question the big Universe/God/Mother Earth/ All Living? Put your hands on it and enjoy your gelato. 

Oh, and don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: Any questions, or concerns, please DM me on Instagram, or Facebook or just leave a comment. Love you all!

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What is your “why”?

Hello

As I mentioned in my previous posts I burnt out and I am working on getting back on track. I shared with you my 4 steps to start and also I talked about people pleasing. However, days passed and my motivation started to lower a bit and that’s when I realized that I forget to tell you the power of “why”. It must be a reason behind every plan, every goal, and everything that we do. And that’s what I call “my why”. ( Not just me, many other and much clever people call it this.😅) 

What is the “why”? Why is it so important? How you can find it? 

Let’s start with the what. It is the reason for your actions. It can be absolutely anything from love, kids, money, wealth, fame, and health, to even your own nephew. (Yes, he is my biggest reason nowadays, but let’s talk about this later.) Doesn’t matter what you are doing in your life, it is a reason behind it. From waking up to going to sleep, there is a reason. The most important is when you identify your goals and write them down, you know why you want them. You must have a powerful reason to achieve your goals otherwise when Shit happens (and it will trust me), you just simply give up and you will be in the start again…sooner than later. You must identify what makes you do what you do, so you will be able to create plans to make sure you do the steps to achieve the goals.

Why is it so important? It is important because as my favorite motivational speaker says all the time: “motivation is garbage”. (Mel Robbins) When you identify your goals you feel full of energy and you can concur the World with only one breath. But days come and go and it will be days when you don’t even want to get up from your bed, and definitely don’t want to take steps toward your goals. Motivation will leave you. And that’s when you need to look at your “why”. If this is not strong enough, you will most likely leave your goals and they will only become dreams. Also when you have a why, you can start to set up what you are willing to do to achieve it. Because my friends everything comes with a price tag. The only question is how much you are willing to pay for what you want, and how strong is your why.

How you can find your “why”? Well, we all think it is easy. Obviously, we know why we want to be rich or why it is so important to our health. We all know why we want the perfect shape or why we want to be a CEO. But do we really know? Most of the time we think we do know, or at least that’s what we think until we do a very simple exercise. It calls 7 levels deep. 

This exercise came from another brilliant motivational speaker and life transformer person, I really admire, Dean Graziosi. The book where he introduced this exercise is called Millionaire Success Habits. This is a must-read book for everyone who wants to transform their life. Since this exercise was introduced, many other people use it and you can find it on the internet, just simply type “7 levels deep exercise”. It is free and you can download it from so many places like here. In my opinion, it is a very powerful tool and makes so much clarity on why you want what you want.

As I mentioned previously my nephew is my biggest “why” at the moment. I am working on a huge project in my life this year (I promise once I am there I will let you know) and hopefully the outcome will be spending more time with my family and especially with my nephew. So every time when I struggle or feel down, I know it is worth it, because of my “why”. When I have first done the 7 levels deep questionnaire, I thought I know why I want what I want, but in the end, I found out that my reason is deeper and more complex than I thought. 

During the next couple of weeks and months, I will share with you techniques, exercises, and tools that helped me during the years to be more positive, more balanced, and achieve my goals. I will share with you during these posts how these things helped me to become an office worker from night cleaning in London, to survive tough times, and stay the girl from the village who I always was and will be. 

I really hope these posts will help you too and (Spit)Fire you up.

Oh, and please don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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3 Steps to stop being a “people pleaser”

Hello,

One week ago I wrote about how I burnt out and started to “come back” as usual. I shared my 4 steps to begin the journey, however, if you do not find the root cause of your burnout, it will return. It can be millions of reasons why, but that’s something, you will have to find out for yourself (remember: sit down and just ask questions, and your brain will answer). What I wanted to talk about today is one of the most common reasons, what I saw in my inner circle…and that’s my friends: people pleasing. 

What is “people pleasing”? Well, did you ever experience someone asking you something, someone who is important in your life (can be a family member, your boss, a friend, doesn’t matter) and you really didn’t want to do that thing, but you did it anyway? That’s “people pleasing”. You know when you feel you need rest, but your mother calls you to go to the family dinner on Sunday, while your plan was just to be in your bed and watch Netflix. Or, when you do not want to dress up to go to the shop, but you do it anyway, because of what the people will say in the village. Or, you do not have time and capacity to do another task, but when someone asks you, you do it anyway, because you want them to like you. When you push yourself and your needs in front of another (not because you want to, only because you feel you have to), that is “people pleasing”. Or trying to be perfect.

(Let’s make something clear.  We don’t talk about the situations when your parents or partner ask you to take out the rubbish or clean your room/house or the cooking is your turn… that’s laziness and you know it, so I just want to make sure that this post will not be an excuse next time when they will ask you.😅)

Why do we do that? Why do we want to be perfect for everyone around us?  First thing first, we all do that from time to time, (someone more often than others), so don’t be hard on yourself. Based on my experience, based on my and other people’s research (listen to Mel Robbins’s podcast about it, or read her book, just to mention one person who is an expert on this subject) we all do it because of our fears. 

From what do we fear? They will not accept us, they will judge, their opinion, how they will see us, etc. We can call it how we want, but guess what? We all basically want to be loved. So we do everything to make sure that people will love/like us. We try to be perfect, we pretend that we are who we are not, just to make sure that we make others happy, so we can get their love. You are afraid to say NO because you will feel guilty that you put yourself in front of others. Because in our society there are 2 types of people: either selfish or people pleaser. No middle way. You want to make sure that everyone gets what they want around you, so they are happy and they love you. Let me tell you something. This is absolutely my experience. BULLSHIT! If someone loves you, will love you even if you say no sometimes. These people will love you no matter what and the funny part is that they want you to be happy just as much as you do want them to be happy. So if you do what they ask but in the meantime, you are exhausted, anxious, and depressed, they will not be happy, because they cannot see the happiness in your eyes. 

I read this, heard this, and watched this so many times and in so many places, but for me, this was one of the most important lessons I have learned in my life: If you are not happy, you are not able to make others happy. First, you have to be happy, so you have happiness in your heart and you can give it to others. You cannot give something that you don’t have. Do you want your kids, family, your partner, your friends, your boss, your colleagues, and your neighbors to be happy? Be happy first and they will be happy because you are happy and if you are happy you are able to give love. It will not work in the opposite way. Your “love tank” needs to be full first.

Okay, I know now so many of you say “yes, but in this case, we will be selfish”. Yes, you have to be a bit. But my opinion of taking care of ourselves until we do not hurt others is just self-care. You have to take care of yourself and love yourself to be able to live and give it to others, so if you don’t make any damage to others, is it really selfishness or is it self-care? You see, huge difference.

Okay, so how do we stop to be a “people pleaser”, but not become selfish? I have my 3 “exercises” I usually do (but as you see, I burnt out too, so sometimes I forget to use these things, and that’s okay. We are human and we are not and don’t have to be perfect- we can’t).

  1. Questions. Ask yourself questions. “Do I really want this? Is it really good for me? Am I lazy or it is legit why I don’t want XYZ? What can I do today to make me happier? What is important to me? Do I hurt anyone, if I don’t XYZ?”- You will feel it. Your brain will start to search for the answers and you will feel and know the right answers for you.
  2. Say NO! You can, you should and you are allowed to say NO. I know this is hard sometimes and you feel the guilt, but you must. I don’t say to start an argument and shout. No! Just tell to the person how you feel. In the beginning, when you start to create your boundaries, people will test you. Life will test you. Sometimes you would say yes, just to avoid the conflict and let yourself be, but if you do it, you will feel tired again and you can start everything from the beginning. You will learn to love yourself if you can hold your boundaries. (FYI: The people who love you, will understand and continue to love you. But it will be hard because some of the people who do not love you enough will be left from your life.)
  3. Do something that makes you happy every day. Don’t care about what others would say, or how stupid it sounds, just do it. Something, anything. Doesn’t matter just makes you smile. Be silly, be crazy, and be yourself. (I know it is hard because people want you to be yourself, but “please not that much”. It will be a different post for sure.)

At the end of the day, the most important person in your life should be you, because when you are in your bed, you are alone with yourself (even if someone sleeping next to you). If you are not happy, do you really FEEL happiness about the fact that you made everyone else happy? Be honest with yourself.

Well, I hope it helps guys. I am with you and we stepping together to get back our (Spit)fire. 😘

Don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: (This post is based on my experiences and what I see around me, but please know I don’t think it is the TRUTH, every one of us is different. May what makes sense to me, it will not make any sense to you.)

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4 Easy steps to come back

Hello, hello

I know, I haven’t posted for a while. I am sorry, but I had to have a break from everything and everyone. I spent the holidays with my family and it was absolutely lovely. But since I came back to London, my life became so crazy. No lights, dark days, and lots of work. I realized that I burned out.

In the past months, I have just done my work, came home, eaten, and slept. I have done nothing. I was so tired, sleepy, and grumpy. I turned on the survivor mode. My energy level went down. So I had to turn it off. I know everyone is surprised and trust me, I was too.

I am a hurricane. I was and still am, a very energetic, organized, enthusiastic, positive, and absolutely hyperactive woman. So it hit me so hard that I don’t have energy, I didn’t want to do anything, just sleep. I thought something is wrong with me and I had no idea how can I come back again and be myself. I know it sounds weird, but I love to be a hurricane, with millions of plans, and tasks, and never sit down and be calm. It took me so long to accept that I am like this and that this is normal because this is me. Also, it was so hard to accept that from time to time we all burnt out. This is normal too. 

Well, you know me now, so you know that I am not a patient person. I get what I want because I will never rest until I get it. So the past months were suffering because I knew I want to be myself again, but I did not have the energy. Guess what? It is normal too.

I thought it is important to tell you that sometimes we all need to have rest. Slow down and just be. It is normal that we are not positive all the time. It is normal to be grumpy, negative, and tired. We need to give time to ourselves. Need time to feel these things too, because that’s the only way to rise again, to get back our energy level and go again. You are not less positive, you are a human. 

I am sure I told you this, but to be positive doesn’t mean that we always smile, happy and three meters above the clouds. It doesn’t mean that we don’t have bad days, we cannot be tired and have enough of the whole world. It doesn’t mean that sometimes we don’t give a shit and just f@ck for the fairytales. Life is a journey, with ups and downs. If we do not have the downs, we cannot appreciate the ups. Simply because we don’t know the difference. To experience and fully live the good, we have to get the inconveniences too. 

What made me realize this, how I stand up again, and why now? Funny. I think this week was the worst. On Wednesday, I went to the office and I felt so sleepy. Literally, I could sleep while I was standing. And it hit me on my face… my friend told me that something is really wrong with me because I am not complaining. F@CK! There it was. Just hit me. I have done nothing since I came back from my holiday, just complaining and feeling sorry for myself. 

How did I get back to my normal? I didn’t…at least not yet. Life is not like this. One day you’re down then the other day, you kick your ass and you’re back in the clouds. That’s bullshit. I am not a hypocrite, I thought that it should work like this. I had to realize that it is a process. It took me months to be this down emotionally, so it will take me some time to get back on track. 

BUT, this is a positive blog, so I will share with you how I started. (This is not the first time in my life when I am totally down, so I have my method for this situation.)

  1. Accept. This is the first and the hardest step, but the most important as well. You have to swallow all your pride (trust me, I am one of the most stubborn people ever, so I know how hard it is) and accept that something is wrong and that’s okay.
  2. Sit down. Take time to sit down and find out what is wrong. If you want to solve a problem, first you have to identify the actual problem. It can be more than one. Just find out. Identify the problem(s). 
  3. Plan. Don’t need to be a big plan and please give Life (God/Universe/ Mother Earth, etc.) a chance to give better. But have a plan. That will be a guide. Needs to be written. You should have a “deadline”(realistic and it can be flexible) too. Break it down for days, weeks, years, etc. (What is not written is not real. If you write down your dreams, breaking them down, they will be goals and most likely you can achieve them.)
  4. Do the first step. As I said you cannot back to 100% from -100% in one day, so just find out what you can do NOW. It is important that you have to do something immediately. (Simple psychology. Lots of studies prove that immediate action is a brain hack that helps you feel small success as you have done something to be better, but does not overwhelm and scare you, so you most likely continue.) Work for it every day.

Step by step. Just be patient with yourself. And don’t forget, it is okay. So kick your ass, get the spark from your (Spit)fire, and just do it! 😘

Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.s.: Quotes will be back in March. 😎 Don’t forget to follow the Spitfires on Facebook, Instagram, or here. 

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Happy New Year Spitfires! 🥂🎉🥳😘

XOXO,

Krisz😘

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Santa is coming tonight

Hello, hello…

…or should I say Hohohohoooo?! 🎅

I know some of you are just looking at the title and have no idea what I am talking about because today is only the 5th of December. Let me explain to you and I promise until we finish here you will go and clean your boots (okay, sneakers will work too 😉). Okay, now, I am sure you lost (except if you are from Hungary).

So I know most of the world celebrates Christmas and Santa brings presents on the 25th of December…well not in Hungary. Don’t worry, we have Christmas and we get presents too (in my family we open the presents on Christmas eve), but in Hungary Jesus brings the presents and the Christmas tree too on Christmas eve (yes, we do not decorate the Christmas tree until the 24th of December’s afternoon)… so now you wonder, what we do with Santa?!

Well, we do nothing with him, but he brings us presents on the 6th of December night. I do not wish to explain the whole history of this tradition, because is more religious and I do not want to mix this here, but I can explain the actual tradition. 

So in Hungary (and some of the other European countries too) at this time, the kids are cleaning their boots and preparing them for the night. On the 5th of December evening, we had to clean our boots and leave them in the window before we get ready for bed. We had to make sure that they are nice and shiny and left them in the windows to make sure that Santa easily can find them During this magical night Santa picks up his sleigh and all his reindeer (we are not that weirdo, we call them on the same name the same as the rest of the world does) and deliver the presents to the kids. Fill up the boots with lots of nice things. Nowadays the kids get maybe some small toys too, but the original tradition is that Santa only brings sweets and chocolates (in my grandparents’ childhood was a bit different, they had fruits, sweets, and nuts)…lots of chocolates. During this time of the year, you can buy small packs full of different kinds of sweets or you can make them your own (the only must-have is the Santa figure) or just leave the goodies as it is in the footwear. But one thing is sure, everyone gets something…

…and here you can ask “what about the bad kids”. Well, the bad kids don’t get anything or they only get “sorghum” (I am not sure you have a proper word for this thing, so you can see a picture of it below). Actually, still, today parents threaten their kids during the year (or should I say blackmailing?) with the fact that if they do not behave or be nice, Santa will not give them anything or they will get only a big bounce of sorghum. (Let’s make something clear, I have it sometimes, but because I was a bad kid… I was always cheeky. Just for clarity.😋)

The week of the 6th of December Santa goes to schools, kindergartens, and nurseries (even into the Library in Hobol, search for it!) and brings small presents and chocolates to the kids (szaloncukor, it is a traditional Hungarian bonbon only for Christmas). The kids decorate the houses, and the institutes, and sing songs to Santa when he arrives.

As a sweet tooth, this is one of my favorite traditions. And the answer is YES, I cleaned my boots already. 😉

So have fun, clean your boots and if you were good enough during this year, maybe you will find something in your footwear tomorrow morning.😘

Love you guys and Happy Santa day for tomorrow!🎅

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: For the daily quotes and more fun, please follow the Spitfires on Instagram and Facebook (find as spiritofspitfires).💖

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Expectations

Hello everyone,

I hope you are relaxing and starting to be excited about Christmas (ps.: I still love all Griches too, no discriminations here).

I have a lot going on in my life nowadays and I just started to wonder why I do all my relaxing stuff and still, sometimes I feel down and a bit sad. (Nothing wrong with it, because no one is always happy and all over the moon, but still I didn’t understand what is happening.) This time of the year is my favorite. The preparation for Christmas, the lights, the smells, the decorations, the waiting time, the activities and London looks like a big Wonder Land. So I started to feel weird, why I was not happy and excited as usual… and then it hit me on my face. Expectations.

I had a look around me and inside me and then I realized we all expect something from everyone and everything. All our life is about expectations. 

The saying is true: nothing is for free. Even for love, we expect to return some love and if we do not get it we seek it and beg for it (that’s another story). We expect our parents to love us, and our friends to check on us sometimes. We want our colleagues and bosses to appreciate our work, also we wish the cashier will be nice in the shop, and the product we bought will be perfect for the price we paid for it. We have expectations from women and men as a society. We expect leaders to look and behave in a certain way. We want our favorite movie star to be always perfect and act kind. We wait for our partner to remember our birthdays, anniversaries, and all occasions.  And the list just goes on and on. We are fighting and argue with each other because we wish people around us to be how we imagine them they should be. The worst is about expectations that we think we should get some reward for the effort we make to be someone who we think we should be to get the reward.

Don’t get me wrong, I am one of the luckiest people ever, because I have got lots of love and appreciation in my life, but still I am not an exception. 

So I started to list what I am expecting and most importantly from who. Yes, there are lots of people I interact with on a daily basis, so I had to let go of what and how I wish them to deal with me. People are different and that makes life wonderful. What made me surprise the most that I have so strong imagination for how people should act who are my closest ones. If someone knows me, know that I do not trust that many people, but if I do, I would do everything (literally everything) for, and to them. So that’s why surprised me when I felt a certain way for the people I love. I had to accept that even my loved ones are not perfect and they have every right to live their life as it is the best for them. Even my parents, my friends, and my family. Everyone has the right to choose what is best for them.

The other hit on my face was an even bigger slap. I am not just expecting people, products, and situations to be in a certain way… I have the biggest expectations about myself. Even when I feel down, my first thought was that why I do not feel a certain way, my feelings shouldn’t be like this. Should or shouldn’t. I never liked these two words because I felt the pressure that people want me to be someone who I am not, and I am not enough good. And yet, after 33 years I realized that actually, I am the one who built up those expectations. No one wants me to be perfect, on top all the time, happy, or million other things. 

What I realized is that because of our expectations and the way we see our life “should be” make us unhappy and do not realize the good things around us. Do not need to be big things…or actually, everything is a big thing that makes us happy, grateful, lucky, loved, etc. I don’t say that we cannot do our best, we must try to do it, but be aware of our limitations. It is totally fine not to be happy or feel a bit sad about things. 

Perfect doesn’t exist guys. Perfect for me exist, but perfect me?! Never. We all are human and like this, we are imperfectly perfect. All of us. Just the way we are. I believe that we are always at the right time, in the right place with the right people. May we not agree and cannot see it yet, but at the moment it is the best and it is how it “should be”. Don’t get me wrong, I still learning to let go of my expectations and just simply be happy with what I have gotten every day from life, from the people around me.

One last thought before I leave you to just relax, as it is still November (yes, even if it is the last evening of it). Letting go of your expectations does not mean you have to let go of your wishes. Just simply communicate with the people around you. Nothing wrong with it if you tell people what you want or how you want them to deal with you. No one is a mind reader, so you must tell people what is good for you (of course in a nice way), what makes you feel appreciated, loved, and not taken for granted.

I heard a very true saying from one of my kindest friends: “Be the most selfish person ever and do not let go a little from it, but make sure you do not hurt anyone around you! This calls balance!”

I wish you a really nice evening and time to prepare for the holidays. I am back soon with some Christmas traditions cheer up!!!! 😃

XOXO,

Krisz😘

P.S.: For the daily quotes, please find the Spitfires on Facebook and or Instagram. 

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This is how we do it!

5 tips to SpitFire up your mornings

Hello Guys,

As I promised, November is about relaxing and preparing for the winter. I wish to help you to make ready for the crazy, busy holiday season, the end of the year, visiting family, having Christmas parties, and all the fun things that require a lot of energy from us. Yes, we must prepare our minds, body, and soul for all these. My philosophy is to do everything step by step. That’s the best way to set up and achieve our goals too.

All story starts at the beginning, and so do our days. The morning routine is very important because how you start your day will be the foundation of your whole day. Very important to set up our own, unique morning routine. I don’t believe in fixed recipes (it could explain my not always… let’s say like these “well-presented” cakes or foods🤔), so what works for me may not work for you and it is fine like this. We are all unique and that’s what makes life so wonderful. 

Okay, let’s get into it. 😉

  1. Set your alarm

Well, that sounds easy, but trust me, so many times, this is where everything will be decided. I use two alarms, with 10 minutes difference, because like this I have 10 minutes to think about the day ahead of me, visualize my goals, be grateful for my life, or just simply prepare my soul until I physically kick myself out of the bed. Another nice tip is from Mel Robbins and her 5-second rule, which is an amazing book and a more amazing technique to force yourself to do actions, in less than 5 seconds. The whole idea is that your alarm rings and you count back 5-4-3-2-1- GO! That’s it. No snooze or “please, just 5 more minutes, mama”. (I highly recommend her books and her podcast too, to get practical tips without sugarcoating. Also, you can use the 5-second rule before every kind of decision in your life.)

  1. Coffee, coffee, coffee, and water

First things first, water. Water helps to wake up your body and of course after a nice (minimum) 8 hours of sleep you will be dehydrated, so you need it first. Someone just drinking a glass of water and that’s it. Someone is a tea or smoothie person. What works for you, Babe, no judgment here. But if you want to communicate with me and wish me to operate as a normal human being…well, better give me a coffee in the morning. 

I love to do my coffee because that’s another opportunity for me to think about my day, organize my tasks in my head, and enjoy the wonder of a sunrise or everything that I want. My soya-cinnamon-honey cappuccino is a guarantee of a perfect start to the day. 

  1. Write in my journal

That part of my morning is important because that is the time, when I sit down, drink my coffee, and let myself relax, feel what I have to feel, let go what I have to let go and also summarize the previous day. Usually, I am writing about my feelings, prepare my goals, make lists, organize my tasks, create plans, or just simply write what’s in my head. Here are no right or wrong things, no judgment, simply just notify my thoughts and my feelings. Our brain is a very nice and complicated muscle. Like all other muscles, it can be trained. Your “brain push-ups” are your thoughts. When you write about your thoughts, you train your brain, because it cannot be focused on anything else, only what you are writing. If you think and feel positive during the morning, you most likely have a good and happy day. (After all, I allowed myself to turn on my internet, and check messages, emails, and social media, for a maximum of 5 minutes!)

  1. Yoga (or any kind of exercise- just move your body)

And we arrived at the favorite part of my morning routine. I love yoga. I never thought it will be one of my favorite types of exercise, but it slowly became one. I do 15-30 minutes daily, depending on how much time I have left after writing. Usually, I use YouTube videos, but lately, I found out about the Boho Beautiful Yoga app and I love them. Juliana and Mark are a lovely couple and incredibly nice teachers and they have amazing yoga, pilates, and meditation videos, also they have a podcast, website, and YouTube channel. Also, they have some free programs which are so effective. Lately, I have done the 7 days Blissful Body Bootcamp series which was 15 minutes of yoga a day for 7 days… intense, and killer, but worth every minute.

The most import is that you do something for your body. Move a little bit. Do push-ups, lift weights, go for a run or a walk, dance in front of the mirror… doesn’t matter, just make sure you move a bit and check how you will feel. Movement creates endorphins as well as dopamine in your body, which are the “happiness hormones”. I think you get it now why it is important. 😉

  1. Learn while you get ready

Usually, after I finished my daily yoga, I start to prepare myself for the day: get dressed, brush my teeth, make my hair, etc. As I am a proper woman, it takes so many times. (Okay, not that many… average…30 minutes…or maybe sometimes more…whatever🙄) So I have time to train my mind. That means I listen to podcasts (yes, it is a kind of brand-new morning routine as you know from my previous podcast). I love it. I love the fact to use my time to learn something new and I do not waste a minute of my morning. So effective and energizing, at least that it causes me.

So, folks, that’s how I relax and get ready for my day. It became important to me to take care of my soul, my mind, and my body. Not just because everyone is getting older (of course except me), but it feels so good and this routine gives me a nice and calm vibe to start the day. Of course, I do have bad days, lazy days, or even moods, but still, my mornings are always calm and balanced. I do not say that this is the best recipe for everyone. We are all different…some of you are owls and like to stay up until late, so you will not wake up at 5.30 am to do all of this. Or even someone who has more energy during the afternoon (it could be a good afternoon routine too) will prefer to do these things then. Also, all of these things can be done at different times of the day or actually more often each day. The most important that we all need to take care of our mind, body, and soul to feel better and be better people. 😉

I hope you have a relaxed and nice November and if you are as much a Christmas freak as I am… well…the holiday season officially started!!!!! 😁

XOXO

Krisz😘

P.S.: For more fun, tips, relax, please follow Spitfire on Instagram and Facebook. 

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This is how we do it!

Podcast relax

Hello guys,

I hope you are doing well. I cannot believe it’s already November. One of my favorite months, because nature has amazing colors, everything is just slowing down and starting the preparation for the winter…or in my case for Christmas. 

I have started this part of the blog where I will share my recommendations, favorites, and things which helped me during the years of my positive journey. And this post will be one of my many recommendations. Also, I recently wrote about the importance of slowing down, so I bought a tip for you on how to educate while you are just stepping back a bit from your crazy busy life. November will be all about slowing down and relaxing. I plan to bring some tips about how to be more relaxed. It will be a very exciting month, I promise.

So what I have realized is literally 24 hours is not enough for me (okay “fun fact” that I am capable of sleeping like, and as much as a baby, but I need at least 8 hours of sleep to be able to function) to do everything I wish and also like to do. I like to do so many different things, such as Zumba, dance, meditation, yoga, eat ( one of my favorites), sleep, sometimes cook or bake, read, learn, etc. So I had no idea how I fit into my busy schedule of self-development. My best friend said that he loves listening to podcasts and my first reaction was: “Dude, I have no time and even I don’t like to listen to one subject, I love listening to music, but not people talking.” Guess what he introduced me to Joe Rogan’s podcasts (okay, I am a huge fan of Scott Eastwood, so the interview with him) and my whole world changed. Let’s make it something clear, I do not like to listen to thematic podcasts because I am never really sure which subject is interesting to me, but I love to listen to totally different subjects. However, positivity, mindset, self-growth, and well-being will always interest me. Since that interview, I became a huge fan of podcasts because finally, I have “time to learn” most easily and quickly. I love learning new stuff, but the fact that my mind is just as hyperactive as my entire self… Well, the classroom learning is just simply freaking me out. Staying over the books, and memories for hours, and the next day after the exam I will not remember for a word…yes, learning wasn’t my best hobby. Don’t get me wrong, I keep studying new things because I think self-development is one of the most important things in life because it challenges you, but not in a classical way…at least not for me.

Podcasts are the best classrooms. I can do the dishes, cleaning, walking and I can learn from the world’s leaders. You can be an expert about anything and you do not even have to pay a huge amount of money to learn from your idols, role models, or even from scientists. You can learn about anything…history, music, sports, social media, business, cars, money, entrepreneurs, well-being, etc. I started to listen to many podcasts depending on my mood. 

My favorites are (of course) Scott Eastwood’s Live Life Better; Oprah Winfrey and the Super Soul Conversations; Tony Robbins and The Tony Robbins Podcast; Joe Rogan and The Joe Rogan Experience; Mel Robbins and The Mel Robbins podcast…and one of my friend’s podcast is What Wild Women Wants with Rachel Rose (if you like spirituality and holistic health this will be your favorite). One of the newest is Archetypes with Megan (yes, Duchess of Sussex), I always liked her as an actress and I do since then. I listen to many more, but not all. 😅

I think this type of education is amazing and makes it easier and quicker to study different areas of the World. What I have learned since I started my “positive journey”, never stops growing. You always need to challenge yourself and be an expert in as many areas of life as you can, because when you feel alive, you can feel confident. Even if you think you know something, just question that knowledge and be open to new opinions, and new views, so you will keep continuing to grow.

I know many of you are just laughing now and saying: “welcome to the 21st century Babe.”, “Podcasts are so obvious and everyone listening to them, where do you come from”. Well, you are right, but as I said so many times in my previous posts, everyone has the “click” or as Oprah says ” aha” moments when the time has come for them to be ready to get the information.🥰

I love you all. Listen to podcasts!!!! 😅

XOXO,

Krisz🥰

P.s: Quotes will be back soon. As I mentioned earlier November will be all about how to slow down.  If you don’t want to miss anything, please follow the Spitfires on Instagram and/or Facebook. 😘