(Magyarul és angolul is elérhető!) Az idei év végére szerettem volna adni nektek valamit, ami tényleg érték — nem csak egy kedves gesztus.
Ezért készítettem egy ingyenes, letölthető mini munkafüzetet, ami segít tisztábban látni, merre is tartasz… és mit szeretnél 2026-ban.
✨ Egy apró AHA-pillanat a jó irány felé. ✨ Pár egyszerű kérdés, ami meglepően sokat kihoz belőled. ✨ És egy kis évzáró-löket, ami segít fókuszba kerülni.
Fogadd szeretettel, és töltsd ki nyugodtan egy tea vagy forró csoki mellett. 🎁 Ez még csak a kezdete valaminek… de arról majd jövő később mesélek. 😉
This is my Santa Claus gift to you!🥰
At the end of this year, I wanted to give you something that is truly valuable — not just a nice gesture.
That’s why I created a free, downloadable mini workbook that will help you see more clearly where you are headed… and what you want in 2026. truly valuable—
✨ A small AHA moment in the right direction. ✨ A few simple questions that will bring out a surprising amount of you. ✨ And a little end-of-year boost that will help you focus.
The best? Just a few minutes — and you’ll see more clearly. 😉
Receive it with love and fill it out comfortably with a cup of tea or hot chocolate. 🎁 This is just the beginning of something… but I’ll tell you more about it later. 😉
I hope everything is going well with you. I do apologise because of the “blog-break”, but as you saw on the website, I’m a bit busy nowadays and I love that. ❤ I try to do many nice things, such as offering a free 5-question workbook. The next one is coming soon, which will help you on your self-discovery journey.
But I’m here now to talk about an important topic, which is our health. I know this one is all over the place, and everyone is living a healthy lifestyle, and mental health is a huge topic nowadays, so the question is relevant: “What new can you tell me?” I’m not sure I can, but I believe the importance of repeating things that are valuable and can be beneficial for others.
Since the WHO describes it very well, we all know that health is not just not being sick, but it’s feeling good in our body, mind and soul. We all know the components of a healthy life, such as a good night’s sleep, reducing stress, a balanced diet, and the list goes on. I promise I have no intention to speak about food or sleep. Also, I’ll avoid the “no drugs, alcohol or smoke” part.
What I want to talk about is what I do every day as a life coach, which I see firsthand. This blog is positive, so today’s topic is mental health. And mindfulness. I truly believe that if someone follows a healthy diet, exercises every day, has at least 8 hours of sleep and doesn’t have any bad habits, they still can have serious health issues because of stress. Since the internet and social media are part of our everyday life, the World has accelerated, and the stress factors have increased significantly. Although companies are investing substantial amounts of money in various work-life balance activities, the burnout rates are on the rise. Why? Well, I used to work in the corporate area, and until the multimillion-dollar companies deal with their employees as robots and not humans, a weekly massage or yoga will never help. Think about it. Your company offers fresh fruits for breakfast. You took it, then you went for a company-paid 30-minute massage. When you finish with that, you sit down next to your computer, and you have 30 unread messages regarding what is wrong in the company, and everyone wants you to fix it. How would you feel? Or when you have to take your laptop with you during your holiday, just to make sure that you are reachable, and if you are, trust me, they will reach out. If they don’t, after a week of holiday, your inbox will be full, and I guarantee that when you finish with all those emails, you will feel even more tired than you left for those holidays not to mention the maternity period, especially in the UK, where, as a mother, you have to return to work after 6-8 months. However, the daycares for the kids are free after the age of 2, and the grandparents don’t live nearby or even in the same country. As a private English teacher, I work with kids and see overwhelmed and burnt-out kids every day. Be calm, be happy, be a kid, but they are in the schools until 3 pm, and after that starts the sports practices, the dance lessons, the private lessons (Maths, English, German, Biology, name it and they do it), plus the homework and we surprised when the kids are burnt-out at age 12. Not to mention the graduation periods…Jeez… they’re only 18 years old and they have so much pressure on their shoulders.
Work-life balance is just an illusion in the world. Unless you create one for yourself. I’ve been there, done that. Trust me, hard and sucks, but it’s possible. How do we start to do that?
Time management is essential. The problem is that in our early years in school, we learn that everything has the same importance, which isn’t true. I don’t care if you are a student or an employee, you have to manage your time. And to do that, you must know your timeline. It means that I need 1 hour in the morning to get ready. Doesn’t matter how hard I try, I cannot be 100% during the day without my 1-hour morning prep. How long do you need? Don’t try to put 2 hours’ work in a one-hour timeframe and then be stressed out because you are not done yet.
Prioritise. Multitasking is a very nice and fancy world in our lives, and that’s why we are stressed. That’s what’s expected from us. But the human brain was never wired to do a million things at once, and especially not perfectly. This is the biggest BS in the modern world. Not all the subjects are equally important at school. Come on, don’t tell me that art classes have the same importance in your college application as Maths or the languages? Unless, of course, you want to be an artist, but then Maths doesn’t matter that much. Same in your workplace. Trust me, not all 100 emails have the same priority. John’s “thank you email” will not bring 1 million for the company, but if you don’t answer the biggest client’s email, it can cost that much. So forget the multitasking and prioritise regarding the importance of the company, your life, your mood on that day, your lifestyle or the period you are in it. I used to work in a bar, and my mentor told me that, and since then, I live my life like this: “Step by step, and day by day.”
Delegate. I know it’s hard to say, especially if someone is a perfectionist (like me), but you don’t have to do everything alone. Ask your friends for the exam items, so you don’t have to do them. Or ask your colleagues to help you. Women!!! You don’t have to do all the housework alone. Because your spouses, partner lives in the same house, they can help as well. I don’t say that from now on our other half should do everything, but we cannot die if we ask them from time to time for some help. We will not be less super women, just more clever. Share the housework. Discuss who likes to do what and share. I have bad news: no one is a mindreader, so if you don’t ask, you will never get the help. Just ask. Remember Smarter than harder.
Once we have a bit more time, please use it to get some rest. We will not miss anything if sometimes we do what feels good for us and say no to an event, or we just delay our so-called important obligations. Have some fun. Sometimes, I sit down and brainstorm all the things that I loved to do when I was a kid, and I do at least one item from the list. Fun, joy and happiness make us feel alive. Play like the kids.
Create boundaries and try to focus on yourself instead of trying to please everyone around you. I know, I said this a million times, but still true: At the end of the day, you will be alone in your bed with your emotions. No one can feel your feelings, not even your partners, friends, family…only you.
Summertime has so much magic regarding our mental health. Go for a walk in nature, go for a holiday, spend as much time as possible with your loved ones, take a night swim in the lake, go for a horse ride, have a picnic, take a day off and get lost in the woods, just go outside and enjoy the wonder around you.
So SpitFire Up, and please take care of yourself. Summer is the best time of the year to create new and joyful habits.😘 And if you need more support, book a free 30-minute consultation, and we will see how to continue. ❤
Oh, and please don’t forget: You don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘
XOXO,
Krisz😘
P.S.: Please follow me here, on Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest.
🎁 Ha szeretnéd átbeszélni, tisztábban látni az irányt, jelentkezhetsz egy 💬 ingyenes, 30 perces konzultációra velem, ahol megnézzük, hogyan tudlak támogatni az utadon.
Finally, it’s almost Summer!🥰 The flowers are blossoming, the weather is warm, and nature is colourful. What else do we need? Well, so many things, but I am waking up from my “Winter sleep”. I feel the energy!!! 😅 Every Summer feels like the Summers in my teenage years. (Not the prehistoric times, just the wild ‘90s and ‘00s. 😅)
In the past 1,5 years since I moved back to Hungary, almost every single week, I have had at least one realisation regarding me, my actions, reactions, emotions, habits, etc. A few months ago, I went through my pictures. During the process, when I had just found my favourite teenage picture of myself, someone messaged me… and I didn’t like the message.🤷♀️ I immediately became very offensive, upset, and insecure at the same time, like the girl in the image. I looked at the picture and realised that the Universe wanted to message me. The message was loud and clear: You acted from your “inner teenager”. Nothing wrong with that if you can catch yourself when you go “back” to that state of your life. The problem starts when you have no idea what inner teenager means or if this state can exist in you. And most of us don’t have.
Why? Simple. Usually, when we work on ourselves, we focus on the inner child and its wounds or the adult problem-solving and/or trauma healing process. But what about the teenage traumas? I tried to find some literature for this post, but not many authors, psychologists, or scientists discuss the fact that we all had teenage years with all their traumas. We know how adults and our environment’s behaviour shapes us as kids, but what about the years when we are confused and lost? Of course, so many of our traumas are from our childhood, and we are busy focusing on them, but what about the trauma that losing our first love can cause? The trauma that everyone wants us to decide what we want to do for the rest of our life, when we should choose a University right after graduation? What about the traumas that your identity searching can cause, or the pain that is caused by rejection of your age group? No one is talking about these kinds of traumas.
It’s basic psychology that when the kids turn 11-12 years old, the person of reference is no longer the adults around them. Teenagers no longer care about their parents’ opinions or want to impress their teachers. They don’t want to hang out with their grandparents. The only thing that matters is their age group’s opinion. They start to care about what their friends say, do or how they behave, because they want to be part of the group. That’s why the environment around them during these years is so important. Also, that’s the time when they are not kids anymore, but still not adults. They try to find their identity and figure out who they want to be. An average kid at the age of 18 must graduate from high school and apply to a university. The kids have to decide what they want to do for the rest of their lives. This causes so much pressure, confusion, and these are the age when they start to develop anxiety. If the parents have an imagination of what the kid should become and push it too hard, even worse. I have so many friends who graduated from university with a diploma that they never used, just because that was the expectation from their parents. Lawyers who never practised, financial experts who never worked one day in the financial sector. Only because the parents had their imagination regarding their kids’ future. But they just wanted the best for their children, so I don’t want anyone to blame their parents. They all had good attention.
I’m sure we all remember our first loves. The butterflies in our belly, the pink clouds and the excitement before a date or even when we see the loved one. All the first dates, first kisses, first handholdings, and don’t be unrealistic, our first sexual experiences. So we felt all these beautiful, happy feelings…but when it ends (and most of the time it ends)… it is the first big disappointment. We cry, we have no idea how to get through to this loss, and everyone around us is just keep telling us that all will be okay, and this was only our first love, and better is coming. Sure…but we don’t know when, and we start to screen ourselves, what is wrong with us. We want to find what we have done wrong. Which is nothing, this is just life, but most of the parents instead teaching the teenagers how to morn a relationship and help them go through the stages, they just smiling and wants them to move on as soon as possible and focus on their studies and career instead of crying about a boy or girl. (Again, it isn’t the parents’ fault or they aren’t evil, they want the best, but no one told them these things either. These are the patterns that they’ve learnt from their parents.)
What about the social media’s effect on teenagers? Competition and bullying. Teenagers are comparing themselves to the influencers, and as they are still not adults, just big kids, they bully each other, but this bullying is online, so the whole world can see someone’s humiliation. Not to mention the fashion trends, and because of the importance of the brands, how much money do they have in their wallets, and the family’s financial situation?
So no one ever speaks about this kind of trauma. People don’t think that this is trauma. They don’t think about how important these experiences are. Unconsciously, we belittle the teenagers’ feelings and thoughts. Yes, these ages are the “drama ages” where they are angrier, their hormones are up and down all the time, and they overexpress themselves, but their feelings are just as valid as any other people’s.
I think we should, and we could help them to get through these phases easily and quickly with compassion, therapy or with life coaching techniques. There are some easy exercises to help them choose their career path or give them reasons to care. We shouldn’t just let them figure it out alone or decide for them, we just need to listen to them and hold their hands, instead of judging every step they take.
What does it mean to act from your inner teenager? Like every human being, we are all different, and we experience our teenage years quite differently. I would say that when you act like a rebellious 18-year-old, without slamming the doors (or sometimes with the door thing too). I remember when I was a teenager, I was so needy, spoiled by my friends, my ego was bigger than Mount Everest, I was very arrogant, and I sought attention from all the boys around me. I wanted to be a Queen, but to be honest, I acted like a bad Disney princess. So when my inner teenager is out (called X-Tina- I know…so pathetic, but that’s how everyone called me back in the days, because I wanted them to call me like that🤦♀️), I realise it immediately because I become needy, hysterical, seeking attention and if I not get it…well, proper B@tch is on duty. (With a capital B!) But all of these reactions are coming from insecurity, loneliness, lack of confidence, envy, and not feeling valued enough. I have been working a lot lately on my teenage traumas; however, some have not yet been solved or properly dealt with. But that’s okay. We’re human, and self-development is a lifelong journey.
So, how to deal with an uncontrolled teenager? Easy, as you deal with a normal one.
Accept the fact that you’re in your teenage mood. It can be so hard, because we think that after a certain age, we automatically become not just physically, but mentally, adults too.
Gather so much patience. You’ll need it.
Identify the problem. “Which button was pushed?” What do you feel? Why do you feel what you feel?
Try to convince (good luck) yourself that you’re a grown-up now and all those fears are outdated, and let go of them. It can be a very long procedure, and maybe some of them are even deeper than you think, but be patient and take your time. Take as long as it needs.
Go out and celebrate… even like when you were a teenager. 😉
I believe we all have our inner child, inner-teenager, and our adult self inside of us. My opinion is that these three shouldn’t fight against each other, because we need all three to be in our everyday life. We should let them team up and work together to conquer the world.
So pull out your wild-legged jeans, with a crop top, put Spice Girls on speaker and SpitFire up your inner teen!😘
Oh, and please don’t forget: You don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘
XOXO,
Krisz😘
P.S.: Please follow me here, on Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest.
Várok mindenkit sok szeretettel 2025. Május 2-án, pénteken, 17.00-tól a Fókuszban a fókusz című előadássorozat első részével Online!
Ha lemaradtál, vagy nem tudtál személyesen eljönni, semmi gond ugyanis az előadássorozat most már webinarként is elérhető lesz. Minden harmadik pénteken egy-egy újabb résszel várlak benneteket!
Ezekről és még sok más a mindennapi életben egyszerűen alkalmazható motivációs technikáról beszélgetünk az otthonod teljes kényelméből. Amennyiben érdekel a pozitívabb életszemlélet, szeretnéd boldogabbá és kiegyensúlyozottabbá tenni a mindennapjaidat, megtudni hogyan legyél önmagad.
Amiről szó fog esni:
Pozitív életszemlélet alapjai
Hogyan lássuk szebbnek a Világot?
Miért nem megy a teremtés?
Mi az amire fókuszálunk?
Ajándék azonnal letölthető prezentációs munkafüzettel! Ne hagyjátok ki! Részletekért küldj egy -et üzenetben az alábbi social media platformok vagy az elérhetőségek egyikén!!!!
Ha szeretnéd elérni a kitűzött célodat, ha elakadtál, ha nem tudsz dönteni, vagy ha kihívásokkal nézel szembe, keress bizalommal!
11 évig éltem Londonban. Ez idő alatt nagyon sokat tapasztaltam és láttam különböző emberek életéből. Mindig is úgy gondoltam, hogy az ember több, mint ami a felszínen látszik. A london-i éveim alatt rengeteg különböző vallású, kultúrájú és gondolkodású emberrel találkoztam. Rengeteg ember életébe leltem betekintést, de ami a közös volt bennük az az, hogy mindenki elakadt az életében legalább egyszer valamiben. Munka, pályaválasztás, párkapcsolat, család, pont ahogy én is. Mindenki a saját céljáért küzdött. Egészen kicsi korom óta tudom, hogy emberekkel szeretnék foglalkozni, embereknek szeretnék segíteni.
Voltak olyan időszakok az életemben, amikor még nem láttam pontosan, hogy hogyan is fog ez megvalósulni. 8 éve foglalkozom önismerettel. 2017-ben találkoztam először a coachinggal és azt éreztem, hogy rátaláltam a valódi utamra. Sajnos önbizalomhiány miatt nem foglalkoztam vele eddig hivatásszerűen, de az elmúlt évben rengeteg embernek segítettem azzal amit én is megtanultam és az ő megerősítésük miatt olvasod most ezeket a sorokat. Úgy döntöttem belevágok, mert tudom, hogy tudok segíteni.
Amikor éppen nem dolgozom, akkor vagy új hobbit tanulok, sétálok, jógázok, mindfullnesst gyakorlok, meditálok, barátnőimmel nevetgélek, családommal vagyok, vagy éppen egy olyan könyvet olvasok, aminek a segítségével még jobban tudok majd Neked segíteni.
Hogyan zajlik a coaching folyamat?
A coaching folyamatban azon dolgozunk, hogy a Téged épp most foglalkoztató, megoldandó kérdéseket közösen más megvilágításba helyezzük, új lehetőségeket tárjunk fel, és megtaláld a kívánt megoldás felé vezető utat/utakat. A Coaching nem terápia, nem én adom a kezedbe a megoldásokat, csak segítek megtalálni azokat különböző technikák segítségével. Nem a múltat elemezzük, hanem az aktuális probléma megoldására koncentrálunk.
Milyen kérdésekben kérheted a segítségemet?
Általános életvezetés
Magánélet
Élet szervezéssel, személyes hatékonysággal kapcsolatos kérdések.
Valódi hivatás megtalálása.
Munka/szabadidő egyensúlyával kapcsolatban.
Bizonytalanság adott élethelyzetben, nehéz döntési helyzetek.
If you want to reach your goals, feel stuck in your life, cannot decide, or are facing a challenging time, please contact me.
I lived in London for 11 years. During this time I saw and experienced a lot from different types of people’s lives. I always believed that a person is much more than what you can see on the surface. During my time in London, I had the privilege of being in touch with people from different cultures, religions, and mindsets, but they had one thing in common. All of them had struggled at least once in their life, just like me. Work, relationships, purpose searching, family, etc. Everyone battled for their dreams. Since I was a kid, I knew that I wanted to work with people, I wanted to help them.
I had periods in my life when I had no idea how I would do this. I started my self-development journey. In 2017 I met Life Coaching and I knew I had found my true calling. Unfortunately, a lack of confidence, I didn’t start this as my career. But during the last year, I helped so many people in my life with the knowledge I have gathered during my self-development journey. Because of these people’s support and their confirmations, you can read this. I decided to give this a try because I know I can help!
When I am not working, I study a new hobby, take a long walk, practice yoga and mindfulness, meditate, laugh with my friends, spend time with my family or read a book that can help me to help you.
How does the coaching process work?
In the coaching process, we work together to put the issues that are currently bothering you and need to be resolved in a different light, explore new possibilities, and find the path(s) leading to the desired solution. Coaching is not therapy; I do not give you solutions, and I only help you find them using different techniques. We do not analyse the past but focus on solving the current problem.
What questions can you ask for my help with?
General lifestyle
Private life
Questions related to life organisation, and personal effectiveness.
Finding a real calling.
Regarding work/leisure balance.
Uncertainty in a given life situation, difficult decision-making situations.
I know each one of you is now confused about this sentence. And that’s okay. 😅 I’ll explain it very soon. First, I wanted to let you know that the website is still in progress with the Life Coach and Motivational speech options, but it will be available soon. Until then, if you need help because you are stuck in your life and have no idea what to do, you can contact me on the social media platforms below. Feel free to drop me a message and I am happy to help! 🥰
However, I have something to share with you. I had a conversation last week (well, not one) that just stuck in my brain or actually, the fact that the person I advised never heard about the “Mirror technique or affect”. Maybe you never heard of that or do not fully understand what it means. Don’t worry, my mentor and very good friend talked to me about the “Mirror” for years while I finally realised its true meaning. Anyway, this is one of the easiest life-changing techniques I have ever heard. “Everyone in your life is a mirror!” But is it true?🤔
Here is the good news: yes and no! But first, we need to clarify other things. Everyone who is around us is a mirror. Their behaviour, skills, and emotions resonate with our frequency. Everyone and everything has a frequency and that’s how we attract people or stuff in our life. Based on our rezonation we choose our friends, relationships even our work. Most of the time we have either a positive or negative vibe. But how is it attached to the mirror?
For example, you have a friend, who is always complaining, that nothing is good, but he/she pretends that everything is fine. In the beginning, you became friends because you were on the same frequency. (Sorry, but that’s the harsh truth.) If you don’t start to look at him or her as a mirror, you are not bothered. You are the same, it is a beautiful relationship, but neither of you understands why things are always “bad”. Then you start to read my blog, do the tricks and hacks, I share and your frequency starts to rise and you feel more positive, you attract positive people and one day, you just release that the friend we mentioned previously became so annoying. You don’t understand what happened, but you don’t want to spend time with him or her. You feel overwhelmed after every coffee you share. And here the “mirror” comes. Why this person bothers me? What is in his/her behaviour that makes me uncomfortable? Most of the time they say that you changed and you are the one who is annoying and unreliable. You start to see that this person is gossiping all the time, negative and nothing is good. And that’s the point where you have to stop and look in the mirror. Because if it bothers you means you have something to do with those things. They reflect your behaviour and actions. Are you complaining all the time? Do you like gossiping? Are you happy and satisfied with your life?
If the answer is yes to all those questions, you have to start working on yourself and find the root cause of your behaviour. Because no one can make you feel anything. Your feelings are yours and yours only. So if someone’s behaviour bothers you most likely you act in the same way. Maybe you think that your life is perfect, but you still find things about to complain. Why? Where do those feelings come from?
But if the answer is no to the questions, means that you have nothing to do with the other person’s actions. They are not the reflection of you. Simply they can have a bad day and they reflect their frustration on you. Or you may outgrow them. Your frequency no longer matches theirs. Maybe they are jealous of your success or the things you achieved. Or you envy them about something.
I also advise my “clients”, the people I work with in their self-development, to first stop and take a breath. Look at the person who said or done the things that are bothering them. Is this person truly important enough to me? Even if the answer is no, the next questions are mandatory. Is this true? Do I act the way they say? If the answer is no to both questions, well you have nothing to do with the situation. But if it is yes, you have to ask other questions. Why this thing bothers me? What do I feel? Where do these feelings come from? Why do I behave this way? Can I change? Do I want to change?
After we find the answers to all those questions, we’ll be able to start to work on the solutions. No matter what you are working on, the first step is always to identify the problem. Once it is done, you need to know the root cause to start working on the strategy that leads you to the full solution.
One more thing I wanted to tell you. Even if you sort out one problem in your life, others will come. Life never stops happening. Sometimes the same problems come back in a different form and you have to start the process again. You have to look in the mirror and do everything again from the beginning. Our behaviours, reactions, and patterns are not something that we were born with. We learnt them during our years on Earth. If you are 35 years “young” just like me, you have done something in a way in the past 35 years. That behavior will not gone in two, three, four, etc. weeks just because you work on it once. Self-development is a lifelong process. Each behaviour, emotion or pattern change depends on the person, the circumstances, the time, the environment, etc. Some of them we can get rid of in two weeks, but the deeper ones need much more time. You created them in 35 years, so they will not disappear in a second.
And yes, sometimes you need help. You need a person who can see you from the outside. Someone who just sits and listens to you without judgment, in a safe environment, where you can be yourself and everything is about you and your process. So many people said, “Why need a therapist or life coach when I have friends?” well, true, but your friends need to talk about themselves too. Most of the time they don’t want to hurt your feelings and that’s why they are not honest. They cannot see you objectively, because they are involved in your life. Plus they desperately want to help and give you all the cliche pieces of advice. Come on we all heard at least once in our life after a break up that “He wasn’t good enough for you. It’s his loss. Just let go.” Thank you, Einsteins!!!! Seriously, no kidding Sherlock?! 🙄That’s why sometimes we need help from outside of our circle.
The “mirror” technique is the best way to see ourselves. If the other person in the mirror is not who we want to see, well, we have a chance to change. But we always need to stop first and check who is the one who said that thing and what they say, because there is a possibility that we are their mirror and not the other way around. When I first heard about this, I started to monitor all my interactions with other people and I got terrified about myself. Some of them were true. I was arrogant, selfish, hysterical, bitchy, judgemental, critical, etc. And some of them had nothing to do with me. But because I heard that “Everyone is a mirror”, I started to believe that I am a terrible person. Now I know that there are moments when you are the mirror to the other person.
One last thing is crucial to talk about. Not just everyone, but everything is a mirror. So if you say that someone around you does something that you do not agree with, either you envy that thing or you do it the same way. Life/Universe/God wants to show you one of your core beliefs. Let’s say that your friend has so much money and you think, it’s easy for him or her because… Now here it is. Mirror. I want that money that easy, so I am jealous, but my core belief is that I must work hard to get a little bit of money. Or when you say “money just comes and goes” and you are surprised that the money goes all the time… Honey, of course, it goes, because you never said that it stays. See what I mean? Your friend’s lifestyle and the fact that you want this showed you the block in your life.
It’s hard to look in the mirror because shows us the truth about ourselves. But trust me it’s worth it. As soon as you accept that you are not perfect and never will be, you can start the work to become the person you want to be. You can be anyone if you want to and if you work for it. Achieving our biggest dreams is never easy, but nothing is impossible.
As Audrey Hepburn said: “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says: I’m-Possible.”
I hope it helps you to SpitFire up, look in the mirror with pride and adore the person inside of it because everyone is imperfectly perfect. I honestly love you all!!! ❤
XOXO,
Krisz😘
P.S.: Please follow me here, on Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest.
I hope you are having fun in the Christmas markets and getting ready for the holiday season. Well, I am. 😅 But while this time of the year is about Christmas and love, we should not forget another big celebration: New Year’s Eve! When I was a kid, I was so excited when the countdown started because I thought once the clock hit midnight, something wonderful would happen, and magically, I would have a new life. Year by year I stood beside my parents with my champagne (of course non-alcoholic) and waited for the magic which never happened. As I got older I realised that only because the year changes on the calendar nothing will change. We have to work for it. No one has a magic wand. The changes start with you.
While I enjoy the advent vibe, I also summarise the past 12 months. You cannot create anything new without cleaning the old. We all know that we have to make space for the new in our life. First, you must be honest with yourself and organise the good and the bad. What and who do you want to keep in your life and what are the things or people you have to let go to have a fresh start? I do this usually every quarter, but before New Year’s Eve, I create a list of things I have achieved and a list of what I must release. This is hard because you have to be brutally honest with yourself. I have an amazing exercise to close the year and set up the new goals for the next. It’s only 10 steps, but it has so much power.
Grab a piece of paper and on the left side write down everything that went bad or gave you discomfort. I start with the so-called negative aspects of my life because these are the things I have to release. These things will give you tears and make you feel sad, disappointed and sometimes angry. Take a day when you focus on these things and feelings. Feel everything. Even if it’s hard. Cry, if must, but don’t hold anything back.
The next day write down in the middle of the paper every lesson you have learnt. Every small and big realisation about yourself, the people you love, situations, career, money, etc. Every situation that you think it was a lesson. Then sit with them for the rest of the day.
Finally, on the third day write down everything that you are grateful for the past year. Same as with the negatives or with the lessons, write down every big or small thing. And sit with it for a day or two or as long as you need.
Summarise. What you could do better? What do you want to let go (or who)? What do you want to keep? What is still important?
Once these are done, I want you to take an empty paper and write down all the things you want to achieve during the next year. Everything. Every big and small goal. No matter what comes to your mind just write it down on the paper. The number one rule: be honest with yourself. Don’t rush. This can take days. Have fun with it. Imagine that you have all the time and money in the world… what do you want?
Whenever you feel you are ready with the list categorise the items. Here are some examples of categories: family and relationships, money, career, health, self-development, spirituality, fun, wellness, etc.
Once you have your categories, choose a maximum of three items from each category. The three that are the most important to you. (If you have difficulties choosing then use the “7 Whys Method” for each goal you wrote on your paper. You grab the item and ask seven times in writing why you want that.) Now you have your list of goals for the next 12 months.
The most important thing is to take a small step towards each goal. One small thing. Ask yourself “What can I do NOW to get…?” And do it. If you want to get healthier, for example, you can grab an apple right now and eat it. If you want to go to Italy next summer, stand up and get some money from your wallet and put it in the “Italian vacation” jar. Doesn’t matter what, but do one thing right away, so your brain attaches the list with success and doesn’t get overwhelmed by the amount of work you’ll have to do during the next year to achieve all the goals you wrote.
Now that we have the list and made the first step, we have another very important thing to do: schedule follow-ups. Most people have New Year resolutions but they never achieve even the 3% of the list, only because they forget the list exists. So to avoid failure schedule a day every month when you look at goals and decide what to do next or just check the process. Look at where you are and what is still accurate or what is not so important after all. (Remember that we are changing. Some of the goals were important in January, but while we go deeper into the year, so many things happen with us and some of the items on our paper will became less important and others will be priorities.)
The last bit is to divide the goals by the 12 months. The human brain cannot focus million things at once. If you try to do that and achieve everything in 30 days, you get overwhelmed, burn out and give up. Nobody can conquer the world in one day. So be wise and divide. May to achieve some of the goals you need help, or you can do them only in the Summer or Winter time. Think and organize.
I know that all of you are so happy and proud of your list and so excited about the next year, but one thing you never forget: let it go. I know you have the perfect list and the perfect plan, why should you let go? Because life happens. Always. And if you are so stubborn and don’t let Life/God/Universe give you a better option it will be a very hard year with so much suffering. Everything is happening for a reason and you get everything you want and what meat for you at the right time. Not sooner, not later. Enjoy the process, enjoy the ride that we call life. Because if you do, much better things can come into your life than the ones you just wrote on that paper. Please keep in mind that the goals are only guides, not rules.
Here are some of my goals for 2025:
Eat healthier. Less sugar and more green. (Even though I will never be a salad girl! 😅)
Exercise more (daily walk and pilates, plus dance is fine, but I want to ride my bicycle more often and go hiking or have Zumba back into my life.)
Post often on the blog
Keep being the best auntie possible. 😎 And spend more time with my family.
These are my main priorities for 2025. I hope these give you some ideas. 😘
SpitFire up and face all your fears and failures. Create your dream list and enjoy the ride!😘But most importantly: Have Fun!!!!!🥰
Oh, and please don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘
XOXO,
Krisz😘
P.S.: Follow me here, on Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest.
I hope you are having fun and starting to feel the Christmas spirit. Okay, I know, maybe some of you are not that much of a fan of the holidays. (Doesn’t matter I still love you all Grinches.😝) Advent season is my favourite, but staying alone under the mistletoe does not make me happy either…until now. Not because I finally kissed the right frog and became a prince…no. 😅 But something happened and changed my perspective. And that’s what I want to talk about—changing perspective.
Usually, I go to sleep quite early, but a couple of days ago I couldn’t fall asleep. So I started to dumb scroll my social media and found a video that made me think and changed my view of everything, especially my relationship status. I know, it’s a shame on me that I did not save the video or even remember the guy’s profile, but he said that every time he feels blue because he is single, he starts to imagine that what if next year this time he will be in a relationship and he will have a fight with the love of his life and he just wishes to be single again. So basically he said that he enjoys every minute of his single life because you never know when The One comes and maybe he wants to have back his life alone. Bumm!!! Hit me in the face! I have never thought about my life like this. He has done nothing just shifted the focus.
So I started to think. I love the holidays, the decorations, the Christmas markets, the lights, smells, foods, songs (especially the songs😅), buying gifts and all the advent vibe. BUT! As a single person when Christmas Eve came and I stood alone in the mistletoe, I felt so lonely and disappointed. Even if I was with my amazing family and friends, I felt that something was wrong with me. Of course, I knew that I was fine and this was just a period of my life. Usually, when this emotion hits I start to tell myself The List (all the things only a single can do) and it helps, but this video hit me so hard. Because I thought I was positive and handled this whole “magical love is all around” thing well, but I just used toxic positivity and covered my emotions with my little list. Plus I haven’t enjoyed the last couple of Christmases as much as I could because I was too focused on the fact that I’m “alone”. I couldn’t appreciate the fact that how much I wasn’t alone. The fact that how lucky I was and I am because I have a wonderful family, both my parents are alive and healthy, and I have the best nephews ever, plus year by year I have more people I can call friends. My head was in my ass and that video finally pulled it out. I talk about gratitude here, but I wasn’t grateful at all. But that’s okay. I’ll not punish myself because I’m only a human…I’m not perfect, but I’m truly grateful that I realised these things before it’s too late.
Don’t get me wrong, I still wish to have someone in my life who I can call my own but from now on I enjoy the advent even if I am alone because I never know when that prince finally find his white horse and rides to me. It’s good to have someone but as a single woman I do not have to play puzzle with the time and make sure that we visit his family and mine too. Plus you guys know exactly how this works…the day is good for you it’s not good for your brother’s family and the dates that are good for his family are not good for yours, and all the parents want the same date and everything is just like a business schedule. 😅🙄Not to mention the struggle with the gifts and the cooking/baking procedure. Instead, of all these hustles I go to my parent’s house before Christmas and I’ll only move from my favourite armchair when I have to eat… probably I’ll even sleep in it. 🤷♀️🤣 I do not have to go outside in the cold and visit anyone else. No expectations.
Everything has a bright side. So many times we don’t see it or don’t want to see it. Not always easy to find the light in the dark, I know, but there is. Always. I don’t talk about the fake positivity. If something is sucks, it’s sucks. We have to feel it but after we give it out we should change our perspectives otherwise life will just go by and in the end, we have no idea how we end up there where we will be. So many times we think we have time, but after all those years I just realised what it means that we only have the present.
Christmas is just one thing where you can use his method. And this is not just for singles. Think about it. For example, if you really wish to have a kid, but somehow doesn’t happen instead of you becoming depressed and anxious, you can shift your focus. Like my best friend did. (P.S. She is one of the strongest women on Earth!🥰) She used the same technique without knowing she did. Now she enjoys the time with her husband and appreciates every moment. They travel a lot because they never know when the kid comes and obviously after that, they will not be able to go for a long weekend just for the 2 of them. Was it easy for her? Hell No! But it was worth it because she is glowing now. They don’t give up on the kid, but until the little angel arrives they enjoy life as it is.
Another example is if you want to change your job or find one, instead of crying and complaining, just shift your perspective. Send your CVs and cover letters but in the meantime enjoy the fact that you do not have to wake up early or dress up. You can go for a walk whenever you want or stay home and read a book. Try to enjoy these things while you search for a “perfect job” because very soon you have to go to work and maybe you will not be this free for years.
Don’t get me wrong I talked about this here in the blog but in a different view and I thought I used the focus shift and I did but never about my relationship status. 😅 But now this hit me so hard. The most important is that you never give up on what you want but until you get it trust God/Universe/The process (however you want to call it) and focus on the millions of miracles around you. Because doesn’t matter who says what, you are a miracle. Everything and everyone around us is a miracle and if we start to see Life from a different angle it delivers our dreams. But if you keep whinging about the things you do not have, guess what? You will never have them.
So SpitFire up and look at your life from a different perspective. It’s worth it!😘
Oh, and please don’t forget: Don’t have to be always strong to be a Hero.😘
XOXO,
Krisz😘
P.S.: Follow me here, on Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest.
I know, you are so surprised to have me again in such a short time. Don’t get used to it, but this subject has been on my mind for weeks and finally decided to come out.😅 So what you will read is about gender roles and their changes. Don’t worry I will not lecture or do a whole history class just my (and some wonderful ladies’) opinion. Like always, you can agree, disagree and please question everything I say.
A couple of weeks ago, I had a class (not about gender roles, but when a bunch of fantastic women sit together on a Saturday afternoon, anything can happen), and we started talking about fairy tales and how important they are for the kids’ growth. (I study pedagogy now.)Of course, when you talk about fairy tales and are a woman in your 30s, 40s, or 50s, you first think about Disney movies. And here is where all the magic started to happen.👸
100 years ago women had only one role: stay home and wait for their prince, he would sort out everything. Translation: women don’t have the right to vote or go to work, god forbids them even thinking about studying. I’m sure every one of you saw those commercials from the ‘50,’60 and ‘70 America where they display how should look like and behave a perfect wife. (if you are interested in this subject, watch the movie Monalisa’s Smile with Julia Roberts.) In Hungary was a bit different but not so much. Men went to work gave the money to their wives and in return, the love of their life did all the housework and took care of the kids. There were men’s jobs and women’s jobs and life was happy. And fairy tales based on this ideology.
Look at Sleeping Beauty! She falls asleep, waits until the prince has done all the work, and finally shows up and kisses her. The best life ever! (By the way, I can be the best Sleeping Beauty, I love sleeping and it would be much better to pass my time via sleeping and wait for the goddamn price to kiss me than work and stress and save myself every single day!😉) Or Snowwhite! Come on! Same story. Okay with more poison, apples and dwarfs, but she waits while her prince fights the battles. – Little Mermaid, Cinderella, etc. The list goes on and on with the same theory. Girls have to do nothing while their men do all the work. They just have to be beautiful, doesn’t even have to say a single word. (It is even preferable to shut up and just be.) Was it good? Well, it depends on who you ask, but in my opinion, it wasn’t good like this. (And we all agreed on it in my class.)
But honestly, that was inherited from our parents and grandparents. I remember a conversation with my beloved grandma. I introduced my (ex) boyfriend to her and asked him to bring me my coffee. My grandma was so upset about MY behaviour and she told me that I could lose the guy if I didn’t start to act like a proper woman. I asked her what she meant and she told me that a woman’s job is to take care of her man and give everything to him, not the other way around. And she did. I remember when Granny died we didn’t find Grandpa’s socks and he had no idea where they were because Granny prepared his outfit for the day every morning. She gave him breakfast, lunch, dinner, and coffee, and cleaned his clothes. She took care of the whole house. That’s how our parents were raised: men’s jobs and women’s jobs. But what about nowadays?
Look at the fairy tales. Merida…no need for a man, she handles everything. Rapunzel… she has a prop, Flint who helps her, but she does most of the work. Elsa…no man at all, but she is the hero. And that’s what our life looks like. Women became Heros. Life has changed a lot. Now women study, have lovely careers and don’t need a man. The world turned upside down. Women are more masculine than men. We struggle because society still wants us to do the “women’s jobs”, but get a degree first and have around the same amount of money that your man takes home. If you are single you get a stamp that you are a careerist, ambitious, and too strong. And because our men have become more feminine they are “scared” of a strong woman. Why scared? Well, a strong and independent woman is her own Hero. She doesn’t need to be saved or rescued anymore. A strong woman doesn’t need a man…but wants one badly. So she kisses millions of frogs until she finds her prince and doesn’t wait for the one. (I would be so grateful if someone just let me know the exact amount of frogs that should kiss because I’m f@cking tired of kissing the animals.🤷♀️) But what is the problem?
Communication! I had a discussion with my friend and mentor. She told me an interesting theory and she is right. So we talked about gender differences and how we feel as single women (she is a single mother too). We agreed that the main issue is the lack of communication. If we look at our lives we can see that we are afraid to speak up because of the “what ifs”.
“What if they do not like me if I say such and such?” “What if my boss fires me and I do not have a job and I have to find another place (which by the way you wanted to do a million years ago because it is a sh@twhole, but you are too lazy to take the time and energy to get another one.)” “What if the guy will never call or text me back if I say honestly that I do not like his style or how he treats me?” “What if I tell my Dad that it feels so embarrassing when he treats me like a kid in front of the whole family?” All those “what ifs”. So we do not say anything, just assume or expect the other one to have a minimum of a crystal ball and know what we want.
Another thing is when we open our mouths but avoid the “hard” conversations and talk about the total bullsh@t. Seriously, when you are over 30 and you are a woman the most important question is what the guy’s favourite colour is on your first date, instead of asking his view of the future (kids, marriage, plans, goals, etc.)? I mean, yes, if you are a teenager this will be one of the most important along with his favourite food and band, but over 30???? Come on ladies!!!! You don’t talk about these because “what if I scare him away”. Guess what?! If he runs away because of these questions, he is a boy and not a man and, if you don’t want to raise someone else’s kid, he is not the one for you. Thank God you figured this out on the first date instead of on your 10th anniversary.
My friend told me something interesting. Back in the day generations lived together and great-grandparents and grandparents helped the women to raise the kids, plus they did not have to work, so they never stressed, because they had help…without asking. Later grandparents were there. When women went back to work they were there and the community had a huge role too. In villages, people knew and helped each other with everything. Nowadays generations live separately, women have the same expectations from society and no one helps or they are conditioned not to ask for help. If we ask for help we feel weak and powerless. That’s what we learn in school too. If you ask for help the other kids laugh at you and start bully (“you dumbass”) or some teachers even note that you are not clever enough. You ask help from your parents as a kid and they are either not at home or don’t have time because of their million other activities. We do not communicate our needs, especially women because we saw in Moana that we have to sort out everything alone and all the positive quotes say that we are strong and able to reach the sky alone. I see that we can do so much and much more than we can imagine on our own, but there are times when we must ask for help and that’s not a weakness, that’s one of the strongest things ever, to leave our pride and admit that we are only human.
Last but not least, my friend has a 13-year-old son. He asked her how to deal with a girl. (Cute, yeah?😊) She told him the 3 ways to be in a relationship, but the first thing she said to him is this: “You sit down and talk about how you imagine your future together. Based on the girl’s answers there are 3 ways to live in a relationship and treat her.” The problem starts here. Parents are not teaching their sons how to deal with a girl or daughters how to treat a boy. Kids don’t learn what it means to be a man or woman. How to act, talk, be one and how to deal with the other gender. We do not have a relationship or gender classes. We learn everything from our experiences and we have so many failures until we may become lucky and finally, that Frog turns into The Prince. Women and men go out to the world without knowing who they are or what are their values and how to treat each other. No boundaries, only insecurity.
So what’s the conclusion? Women don’t need to cut the grass, fix the car or take the first step with the man they are so crazy about (let him be the man), even if you can. Men don’t have to bend and do all the housework, and raise the kids by themselves (but help is a MUST HAVE) especially if they don’t want to. But if you want something, please men up and make the first move, ask her out, call her first or text her without waiting for her to text you (because she is waiting for you as she is a WOMAN). Aka. Girls, it is okay, if you let the guys help kill the dragons and guys, please get your balls back and save us even if we don’t need it, please do not let us be the Hero all the time.
Okay, even if you are a man or a woman SpitFire up your role and live your life!😘Finally, I want to leave you with Dr. Sara Al Madani’s quote: “ Men and women are not compete with each other they complete each other.”😘
XOXO,
Krisz😘
P.S.: Follow me here, on Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest.
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