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Gratitude and happiness

Hello Lovelies,

Yes, you are right, I am much happier than ever. 😁 (Okay that’s just a joke, because nowadays I am quite happy every day.) As you know, (because I told you in the past posts) I have started to do a “course” with the Transformation Academy (no, I am not promoting them or it is not a commercial, I just really love their courses) which is called the 21 Day Happiness Challenge. It is amazing. 😊 I cannot tell you everything, but I have done a bit of a summary for you. The course was made to break 3 parts. 

The first part is called “Happiness routine”. Each day you will add another activity to your happiness daily routine, so at the end of the week, you will have a 7 points Happiness routine list which you can practice everyday.

The Routine:

  1. Gratitude
  2. Music
  3. Self-Love
  4. Physiology
  5. Happy Anchor
  6. Incantation (affirmation)
  7. Meditation

Well, as I said I am not allowed to talk about them so much, so I will not explain each of them properly, but I am sure that you can figure it out, which activity means what. (I really recommend the challenge with the Academy, because they are super nice and all is fun.)

What I can talk about and I want to talk about is gratitude from my perspective. Why the gratitude? What does it even mean? Why is it so important? How can we practice? Why does it work sometimes and why not the other times? Do I need to be grateful everyday and all day? Is it even possible? 

Let’s start at the beginning as we usually do (then I will talk too much, losing the subject and in the end I will be somewhere else- I know.:) – but I also know that that’s why you love me. 😜). So why the gratitude? We are human beings (yes, even me) and we have feelings, plans (that’s definitely me), dreams and wishes. And that’s okay. What is not okay, that we do not wish for something more and appreciate what we already have or achieved…Noooo…we want things (not even wish) and in the meantime we do not care about what we have. ( I made the same mistake so many times in my life, and paid a huge price for it.) I know and I understand that maybe the job is sh@t, or your boss is a Khmm yes, what you think he/she is… and your boyfriend doesn’t even listen to you, or the neighbor is so loud and annoying, or your parents/teachers want way too much from you, or the house where you live is a disaster…etc. The list is long and we all know that nothing is always perfect, so if you look at your life a bit, I am sure you can find something to complain about. And that’s the point where we all make mistakes.

Wish for more, that’s absolutely perfect. Work for it. But NEVER, ever complain about what you have. I don’t say that because in Africa the children are hungry, so you do not eat. That’s stupid. Or I do not say, if your neighbor is loud, just sit and wait for some miracle. That’s also stupid. What I say, that instead of complaining about what you do not have or have but not how you want it, just sit down sometimes and see what you can like/love about your current situation. Maybe your boyfriend doesn’t listen always, but you are with him, because of some reason (that’s just you know why). Instead of complaining, leave him  if it cannot be solved the problem (yes, if he hits you, or gives you drugs, etc.), or just sit down and think about how someone may want a family and kids, but she/he doesn’t even have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Or you complain about your job, but you are there because you loved once. You get your salary from there. So just send your CV, and in the meantime, find what you loved in it at the first time and when you have a better opportunity, just quit. Simply and less stress.

Until you cannot find good things in your life, you can never be happy. Even on the worst day you can find something…like the sun is shining, you have a home, you have family, friends, you have a job, you can eat, you have clothes to wear, etc. After I wake up every single day I write at least 10 things why I am happy/grateful from the day before. It could be small, it could be big things (or things are big for me), but I do this. I think this is a very nice exercise, because you can “live it again” yesterday, and feel gratitude straight after you wake up. And try to keep it for the rest of the day. I have read in so many books that how you feel the first 20 minutes of your day, will define your day. 

BUT…and here is the trap… it is not enough just to write everyday why are you grateful, you must feel it. Of course if you write something so many times, the feeling will come, but if you don’t feel gratitude the whole listing, journaling, meditating, etc is just a bullsh@t. The feeling is the key.  Also if you write every morning why are you grateful, but the rest of the day you are just complaining about your life…well why are you exactly waiting for the miracle? I know how important it is, because I made those mistakes.

I had a super job, but I wanted to change. I wanted to do something different. Instead I just wished for the new job and was happy, because I already had a job, so I could pay my bills, I could fly home to visit my family, I had nice colleagues, etc. Noooo, what have I done? Yep, I started to complain. I have complained about my colleagues, my commute, about everything, whatever you can imagine. Nothing was good. I got a new job soon and it was worse than the previous.

Do you think I have learnt from this? Of course not. I made the same mistake with my house. I lived in a nice house, which wasn’t perfect, but it was nice, in a nice area and I used to live with nice people. I have done nothing just complaining about it and soon I had to move and guess what happened? Yes, again, I had a house where mice were running around, it was noisy and it always smelled like the KFC on the corner. 

What I want to say, that it is normal if you want something better, but you cannot get better things until you cannot truly feel appreciation for what you already have. It’s not enough to just write the things every day, you must feel it. Also very important that if you make “mistakes”, do not punish yourself. Sit down and try to find what you can learn from it.

I have a person in my life who is really nice to me and he said something yesterday which is so true and I think everyone should consider it: “Whatever condition or place you find yourself in life, always give thanks to God.” (Universe/Life/Mother Earth- however you call it) Just think about it. 😊

So be happy and grateful for your life everyday, even if it seems you are sitting in the middle of the storm, because after the storm will come the rainbow.

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire😘

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April quotes- Happiness Positive quotes

“Happiness is that state of…”

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire 😘

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“The foolish man seeks happiness…”

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire 😘

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“If being happy…”

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire 😘

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“The purpose of our lives…”

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire 😘

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Happiness and your actions

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire 😘

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April quotes- Happiness Positive quotes

When you are happy

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire 😘

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Forgiveness

I know, I promised that I will share with you my Happiness Challenge experiences and I will. Actually Forgiveness is a part of the challenge, a bit later, but I thought this is one of the most important. 

Why? Well, you can do a Happiness Routine and all the practices and they will help, but if you do have negative feelings for someone (or even worse for yourself), how can you be happy and positive? You see? You can’t. Or at least not permanently. (Again that’s just my opinion and based on my experience.) When you have negative feelings about something or someone, you cannot be positive. When you are negative means that you do not have love or any kind of positive energy in your body, so your vibe is not the highest ever. Happiness is a positive and very high level of energy, so you must forgive and let go of the things that you do not desire in your life.

Let’s just clear the air first. What does it mean to forgive? So many people (including me in the past) think about forgiveness like a ritual and they also think you have to go there and say it out loud to the people who make you angry, upset, mean, etc. That’s not really true. You can do that for sure, but forgiveness is much more for your own health and nothing to do with the other person or the situation. There are so many techniques that can help you to forgive( I will give you some ideas), but it doesn’t matter which one you use, if it is not coming from your heart. To forgive someone is just a decision. You choose to let go of the bad/negative/unsatisfied feelings and open the next chapter in your life (with or without the person or situation).

Also forgiveness is not equal to forgetting.Forgive someone does not mean that you have to forget everything and let them behave like nothing happened. Actually the opposite. You should remember, even if it hurts you, because if you do not learn the lesson, it will happen again. I believe that everything and everyone enters our life for a reason. Someone comes to give you positive feelings, someone teaches you something, someone stays “forever”, someone just a “traveler” when finished with their “job” they let you go without them. And it’s good like this. Forgiving is creating your own boundaries. 

“Forgiveness is not for the other person. Forgiveness is a gift for yourself.”

Elizabeth Lombardo

I have learnt another lesson about forgiveness. When you do it, you should check the “mirror”. What does that mean? Well, you forgive something that created a bad feeling in yourself. You are never forgiven for positive/good things. The most important question (and actually this is the “mirror”) is why those things bothered you? Why did you feel bad about what other people have done to you? 

I know it sounds stupid and not make any sense at the first time, but you should check why d you hurting yourself and with what. (Okay, now I hear that everyone says: “she is an idiot”; “why should I hurt myself?”; “This is crazy”; etc.- trust me, I have asked the same questions when I first heard about this theory. Just think about it.) We have thousands of thoughts every hour and day. And trust me you cannot control all of them (nope, even not me, who is a very control freak woman. 🙂 ) You do it unconsciously and that’s okay. That’s not a problem and you do not have to check all your thoughts (you will never be able to do that). I just say, that when you sit down to forgive something, think about the fact that may you created this situation, because may you do not trust enough, not love enough yourself, may you punishing yourself about something (what happened in the past).

When you have to forget someone it means you are disappointed. That means you expected something and it did not happen or not on the way you wanted. You can avoid disappointment if you do not expect anything from anyone and if something good happens then you will be happy, if not…well, it would be good like that. (To be honest, if someone knows how NOT to expect anything, please write me, because that something I still cannot do. 🙂 )

So as I said I have a couple of techniques that I use to forgive.

  1. “Writing and burning”- basically I write all my harms on a paper (or you can do it separately, each harm on each paper). Read them out loud and then burn the paper and feel all your anger just gone. (Do not do it when it’s windy or inside your house (not even in someone else’s house, whose you are angry) and make sure you think about all necessary security measures. – At least a glass of water next to you!!!!)
  2. “Eraser”- also, I just write down everything that I wish to forgive with a pencil and instead of burning the paper, I use the eraser and see all my anger gone.
  3. “Meditation”- That sounds very difficult, but it is simple. Just close my eyes, think about the person, think about the situation and the feeling that I felt. When I have got everything, I just simply imagine that the person is in front of me and I say “I forgive you.”

So I will be back with all the experiences from the 21 days Happiness Challenge. BUT until then, you can follow me on Facebook, Instagram or even here and you can get a bit of Happiness from me via my favorite happiness quotes.

Have a super happy (and forgiving) day Spitfires! 😉

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire 

Categories
April quotes- Happiness Positive quotes

“Be happy with what you have…”

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire 😘

Categories
April quotes- Happiness Positive quotes

Happy and style

XOXO,

Miss Spitfire 😘